Bondagefan

Punter Depression

37 posts in this topic

Does anyone ever think a punt will alleviate depression - low, lonely, obsessive, miserable times where you're desperate for a bit of female attention and no-strings sex... and then you find it just makes things worse?

I've probably had less than fifteen punts in my time, but I can honestly say that only three of those actually left me feeling happy of any sort afterwards; intelligent, sensitive girls on good form, no OCD worries about safety... the rest have felt like a massive waste of money... I just don't know what I want and I don't think I can deal with the shame and seediness of it all sometimes... whilst other times, I'm cold to it. I'm an adult making a choice, the girls are adults making a choice as far as I can reasonably know, it's a straightforward business transaction without all the pissing about trying to court and please someone who's moods change with the wind - be that in a relationship or trying to get into a relationship.

I'm not great looking or successful - but I'm not ugly, and I'm not stupid. But I'm very confused and I can't be the only one who's ever thought this.

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Generally when I punt, it's more because I'm really, really horny and I'm desperate to have some great sex with a lovely girl rather than the companionship side of things.

However, I do come away from some punts quite depressed. If I see a girl that didn't live up to her pics of FR's or whatever, I often come away angry at myself for spending so much money on what was a pretty bad experience and that ends up spiralling into "Why don't I just get with civillians? What would my friends and family think? I'm a dirty bastard " etc. etc.

For example, I had a punt back in May with a gorgeous looking Spanish girl but she barely said a word, clearly didn't want to be doing this at all and just bent over the bed while I had my way with her from behind, came inside her (in the condom) and left. I was left annoyed that I'd spent the money but felt horrible about punting in general because this beautiful young girl for whatever reason is having sex with perverts like me for a bit of cash. That feeling eventually passes and I know she doesn't have to be doing it at all, there's plenty of jobs out there, however crappy, that don't involve shagging strangers and I'm not a pervert at all, just a normal guy with normal needs but at the time it is depressing.

All that said, about half of my punts I've came out thinking about how amazing it was, how gorgeous the girl was, how I can't wait to go back etc. so it's not all bad.

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My advice is if you're really just feeling horny, then do your research beforehand on the woman you're thinking of visiting. Make sure she has a good number of positive reviews on punternet.com and on the agency/hosting website too, as long as the website reviews appear genuine.

Your other emotional issues make me think you should seek professional and definitely, non-sexual, medical/therapeutic help. If your physical body is troubling you then I assume you'd see a doctor, treat your mental well-being with the same degree of attention.

If you often leave punts feeling depressed or disgusted then perhaps punting just isnt for you, or you need to sort out your 'headspace' first before embarking on such activities.

(intended to be friendly, well-intended non-judgemental advice - hope it comes across that way ;) )

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I feel for you. Dont really care if others think im stupid for that.

You say when you get lonely and depressed you punt to try to alleviate it, obviously not working and possibly making your depression worse afterwards.

I am so obviously not qualified to dish out advice to you but perhaps punting is the last thing you should do whilst in a depressive slump.You need to find other things that will lift your spirits to try to pull yourself out,nothing heavy and emotional, simple fun silly things that perhaps you used to do when you were young but dont seem to be able to find the time for now that perhaps take you back to happier times or find new things, something you can do that takes over and literally does not give you the time to analyse things too deeply, go orbing or bike riding, get adrenalin flowing, see if it works.

Then when you come out of a depressed period and you are feeling good, optimistic then go and have a punt as it will be far more successful for you if you are not pinning your entire emotional well being on it, you will be able to interact and communicate with the lady on a better level and may affect how she relates to you.

Are you on anti-depresants by any chance, some do have bromide in them which can stop you getting a proper erection, never understood that myself, depressed guy, i know lets give him some pills that will stop him doing the one thing that makes him happy right now???!!!

Listen, im not being condescending, i know you have probably tried all sorts over the years but only punt when you are upbeat, why do something at a time when it will make you feel worse.

Oh and by the way ANY of us are only as good looking as someone else thinks they are and people who blow their own trumpets all the time about how fabulously succesful or amazingly good looking they are quite often are not very nice people at all, not saying all successful people or gorgeous ones are not nice either. You have to love yourself first,sooooooooooo cheesy i know but its true never the less.

As to how succesful you are , well, its not always about how much dosh you have or how many houses that is the measure of someone, its their character and a person can work in a low paid job and still be a success in life you know. Its about how you cope when things go wrong, about not giving up on yourself and expecting the best for yourself and your loved ones too .xx

P.s read my signature, i have found it to be true in life even during or just after the most dire of situations or problems. If you dont look you wont find themx.x

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I feel for you. Dont really care if others think im stupid for that.

You say when you get lonely and depressed you punt to try to alleviate it, obviously not working and possibly making your depression worse afterwards.

I am so obviously not qualified to dish out advice to you but perhaps punting is the last thing you should do whilst in a depressive slump.You need to find other things that will lift your spirits to try to pull yourself out,nothing heavy and emotional, simple fun silly things that perhaps you used to do when you were young but dont seem to be able to find the time for now that perhaps take you back to happier times or find new things, something you can do that takes over and literally does not give you the time to analyse things too deeply, go orbing or bike riding, get adrenalin flowing, see if it works.

Then when you come out of a depressed period and you are feeling good, optimistic then go and have a punt as it will be far more successful for you if you are not pinning your entire emotional well being on it, you will be able to interact and communicate with the lady on a better level and may affect how she relates to you.

Are you on anti-depresants by any chance, some do have bromide in them which can stop you getting a proper erection, never understood that myself, depressed guy, i know lets give him some pills that will stop him doing the one thing that makes him happy right now???!!!

Listen, im not being condescending, i know you have probably tried all sorts over the years but only punt when you are upbeat, why do something at a time when it will make you feel worse.

Oh and by the way ANY of us are only as good looking as someone else thinks they are and people who blow their own trumpets all the time about how fabulously succesful or amazingly good looking they are quite often are not very nice people at all, not saying all successful people or gorgeous ones are not nice either. You have to love yourself first,sooooooooooo cheesy i know but its true never the less.

As to how succesful you are , well, its not always about how much dosh you have or how many houses that is the measure of someone, its their character and a person can work in a low paid job and still be a success in life you know. Its about how you cope when things go wrong, about not giving up on yourself and expecting the best for yourself and your loved ones too .xx

P.s read my signature, i have found it to be true in life even during or just after the most dire of situations or problems. If you dont look you wont find themx.x

I might not agree with absolutely 100% of what you've said, Chloe. However, that's probably the nicest post I've seen on here for some time ;)

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In my opinion, I don't believe punting will help alleviate clinical depression nor is it a good idea to try. At most it will be a panacea. A good punt may make you momentarily feel ok. But it won't address any long-term or systemic issues.

But if you're talking about feeling down or peed-off after a bad punt, I'm sure many of us been there. Just need to develop a thick skin and shrug it off.

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Does anyone ever think a punt will alleviate depression - low, lonely, obsessive, miserable times where you're desperate for a bit of female attention and no-strings sex... and then you find it just makes things worse?

I've probably had less than fifteen punts in my time, but I can honestly say that only three of those actually left me feeling happy of any sort afterwards; intelligent, sensitive girls on good form, no OCD worries about safety... the rest have felt like a massive waste of money... I just don't know what I want and I don't think I can deal with the shame and seediness of it all sometimes... whilst other times, I'm cold to it. I'm an adult making a choice, the girls are adults making a choice as far as I can reasonably know, it's a straightforward business transaction without all the pissing about trying to court and please someone who's moods change with the wind - be that in a relationship or trying to get into a relationship.

I'm not great looking or successful - but I'm not ugly, and I'm not stupid. But I'm very confused and I can't be the only one who's ever thought this.

The fact that there are so many WGs out there is a testimony to that. As with anything in life it has pluses and minuses, you have to roll with the punches.

Don't know about using it to deal with depression though, that seems like a strong word. This is often viewed as a hobby and like all hobbies it makes you feel good and is probably a good stress release - that's it.

Anyone who punts for the wrong reasons will soon know about it, for example if one wants to be loved and/or desired for who they are or has some other underlying issues, will end up disappointed or confused if they try to deal with it through punting.

My advice to anyone like this would to sit down, identify and collate all the pros and the cons. This should help them decide if it is really for them.

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The fact that there are so many WGs out there is a testimony to that. As with anything in life it has pluses and minuses, you have to roll with the punches.

Don't know about using it to deal with depression though, that seems like a strong word. This is often viewed as a hobby and like all hobbies it makes you feel good and is probably a good stress release - that's it.

Anyone who punts for the wrong reasons will soon know about it, for example if one wants to be loved and/or desired for who they are or has some other underlying issues, will end up disappointed or confused if they try to deal with it through punting.

My advice to anyone like this would to sit down, identify and collate all the pros and the cons. This should help them decide if it is really for them.

And then go off for a punt. :);)

Back to the OP, it's only like going on holiday though isn't it, have a great time and then you have to come back to Blighty.

Life a real bitch sometimes.

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I just float off in a state of bliss. Which stays with me for at least 24 hours. A bit like that weird guy on the last BB talking about getting drunk on "The Glory".

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I don't think it's the answer to any form of clinical depression. A good time can put you in a happy frame of mind for a while though.

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Does anyone ever think a punt will alleviate depression - low, lonely, obsessive, miserable times where you're desperate for a bit of female attention and no-strings sex... and then you find it just makes things worse?

I've probably had less than fifteen punts in my time, but I can honestly say that only three of those actually left me feeling happy of any sort afterwards; intelligent, sensitive girls on good form, no OCD worries about safety... the rest have felt like a massive waste of money... I just don't know what I want and I don't think I can deal with the shame and seediness of it all sometimes... whilst other times, I'm cold to it. I'm an adult making a choice, the girls are adults making a choice as far as I can reasonably know, it's a straightforward business transaction without all the pissing about trying to court and please someone who's moods change with the wind - be that in a relationship or trying to get into a relationship.

I'm not great looking or successful - but I'm not ugly, and I'm not stupid. But I'm very confused and I can't be the only one who's ever thought this.

I have no girlfriend, no serious relationship, no sex and lack of social interaction because I am suffering from Asperger syndrome.

Despite of my condition, I have made friends at my mainstream college but what I want is a serious relationship but not a relationsh*t but it failed me.

So I decided to save up some money (£300 a month) and book an escort not just for sex but for a nice company.

After seeing few escorts, I will start giving up paying for escorts and start going to pubs and other clubs for adults with disabilities as well as going to speed dating clubs to find love.

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I have no girlfriend, no serious relationship, no sex and lack of social interaction because I am suffering from Asperger syndrome.

Despite of my condition, I have made friends at my mainstream college but what I want is a serious relationship but not a relationsh*t but it failed me.

So I decided to save up some money (£300 a month) and book an escort not just for sex but for a nice company.

After seeing few escorts, I will start giving up paying for escorts and start going to pubs and other clubs for adults with disabilities as well as going to speed dating clubs to find love.

My situation about 10-15 years ago was broadly similar to yours but I had depression on and off. I was particularly worried because I had seen first hand very severe depression amongst family members.

On the surface I had a successful life, a very good career, financially secure etc. But due to a lot of work related travel and stress I didn't spend much time with friends or tried to form relationships for a while.

It was about this time that I started punting again after a few experiences in my mid-20s but it was only a short term solution.

Yes, punting and love are two very different things, not to be confused.... I eventually found the latter not long afterwards though. :)

To the OP, I wouldn't recommend punting as a cure for depression. You need to address the underlying cause rather than the symptom and a doctor is really your best first option.

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Given some of the 'surroundings', punting could feasibly make the depression severely worse :)

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I feel for you. Dont really care if others think im stupid for that.

You say when you get lonely and depressed you punt to try to alleviate it, obviously not working and possibly making your depression worse afterwards.

I am so obviously not qualified to dish out advice to you but perhaps punting is the last thing you should do whilst in a depressive slump.You need to find other things that will lift your spirits to try to pull yourself out,nothing heavy and emotional, simple fun silly things that perhaps you used to do when you were young but dont seem to be able to find the time for now that perhaps take you back to happier times or find new things, something you can do that takes over and literally does not give you the time to analyse things too deeply, go orbing or bike riding, get adrenalin flowing, see if it works.

Then when you come out of a depressed period and you are feeling good, optimistic then go and have a punt as it will be far more successful for you if you are not pinning your entire emotional well being on it, you will be able to interact and communicate with the lady on a better level and may affect how she relates to you.

Are you on anti-depresants by any chance, some do have bromide in them which can stop you getting a proper erection, never understood that myself, depressed guy, i know lets give him some pills that will stop him doing the one thing that makes him happy right now???!!!

Listen, im not being condescending, i know you have probably tried all sorts over the years but only punt when you are upbeat, why do something at a time when it will make you feel worse.

Oh and by the way ANY of us are only as good looking as someone else thinks they are and people who blow their own trumpets all the time about how fabulously succesful or amazingly good looking they are quite often are not very nice people at all, not saying all successful people or gorgeous ones are not nice either. You have to love yourself first,sooooooooooo cheesy i know but its true never the less.

As to how succesful you are , well, its not always about how much dosh you have or how many houses that is the measure of someone, its their character and a person can work in a low paid job and still be a success in life you know. Its about how you cope when things go wrong, about not giving up on yourself and expecting the best for yourself and your loved ones too .xx

P.s read my signature, i have found it to be true in life even during or just after the most dire of situations or problems. If you dont look you wont find themx.x

Only just come across your post Chloe. It must be one of the nicest and most intelligent posts I have read on this forum. Congratulations. Haven't yet had the opportunity of meeting up with you but, having read your post, I will renew my efforts to do so.

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Thank you for all the kind comments. To be honest, sometimes I've wondered if I have some kind of Aspergers myself - but various Doctors say no... but even so, I find it incredibly difficult to succeed in relationships with girls I'm attracted to. I've had a long term relationship (five years) and several short term ones, one-night stands, and various female friendships that have almost but not quite gone to the next level...

There are women from time to time who make it plain they want me, so I can't be utterly repellant or too weird looking - but I just I don't fancy them. As much as I feel mean for saying so, they're just never attractive or intelligent enough for me to be interested in them that way. I don't think I even enjoy sex that much, which is the weirdest thing.

I think the other thing is, my interests and demeanour often make people assume I'm gay - and I'm not outrageously camp or fey or anything - but while I'm not remotely homophobic, I do sometimes wonder if the reason I punt is validation on that front too. I wish I knew what to do. But I think the majority opinion that I should hold fire from punting is the right one.

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I have no girlfriend, no serious relationship, no sex and lack of social interaction because I am suffering from Asperger syndrome.

Despite of my condition, I have made friends at my mainstream college but what I want is a serious relationship but not a relationsh*t but it failed me.

So I decided to save up some money (£300 a month) and book an escort not just for sex but for a nice company.

After seeing few escorts, I will start giving up paying for escorts and start going to pubs and other clubs for adults with disabilities as well as going to speed dating clubs to find love.

If you don't mind my asking, what is that?

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It's a form of autism, but much milder. You often have to get to know someone really well to pick up on it, as people with Aspergers can often do really well, especially in specialist jobs - but generally traits range from being obsessional/knowledgeable about certain things (not even necessarily geeky, but most obviously Sci Fi or computers) to getting upset if routines/collections fall out of order, and not being able to pick up on subtle body language and communication - ie, talking passionately about something that interests you and being oblivious to the fact the person listening is bored, but politely pretending not to be. OCD, ADHD and all sorts of other things cross over, but fundamentally it's mental impairment that inhibits socialising to a degree, that can't be cured but can be managed so as not to be too much of an impediment.

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If you don't mind my asking, what is that?

Read all about it, current thinking is that it is mild symptoms (aka high end) of autism.

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Thank you for all the kind comments. To be honest, sometimes I've wondered if I have some kind of Aspergers myself - but various Doctors say no... but even so, I find it incredibly difficult to succeed in relationships with girls I'm attracted to. I've had a long term relationship (five years) and several short term ones, one-night stands, and various female friendships that have almost but not quite gone to the next level...

There are women from time to time who make it plain they want me, so I can't be utterly repellant or too weird looking - but I just I don't fancy them. As much as I feel mean for saying so, they're just never attractive or intelligent enough for me to be interested in them that way. I don't think I even enjoy sex that much, which is the weirdest thing.

I think the other thing is, my interests and demeanour often make people assume I'm gay - and I'm not outrageously camp or fey or anything - but while I'm not remotely homophobic, I do sometimes wonder if the reason I punt is validation on that front too. I wish I knew what to do. But I think the majority opinion that I should hold fire from punting is the right one.

Don't worry, you've got nothing to worry about. I can relate to alot of what your posting, except the successful relationships part, so you've got one over on me! :P

I'm going to sound like a softie saying this, but love can come into the equation, in that if you're possibly looking for it, but of course aren't feeling it at any point, then you get angsty about "what's wrong" and feel worse after you visit an escort. I don't know how to explain this succinctly... even just to kiss someone is an intimate experience, even more so than sex, so when you are with an escort part of you thinks that feeling of intimacy is there and the feelings are being reciprocated, then of course afterwards you realise that it wasn't there at all, but there's a bit of a mental 'block'. You know there's no 'love' involved, but part of you brain doesn't which leads to confusion and angst. I hope that makes sense.

It's probably a good idea to stop, or at least if you do want to see an escort again, don't let your dick rule your head. Perhaps masturbate before you start browsing escort sites etc and see if the feeling of genuinely just wanting a brief, fun time in the company of a girl is still there, rather than just letting the lonliness take over.

Blah, blah, blah. I'll stop there.

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Does anyone ever think a punt will alleviate depression - low, lonely, obsessive, miserable times where you're desperate for a bit of female attention and no-strings sex... and then you find it just makes things worse?.

If life in general is not treating you as well as you would like it too, then any exhilerating diversion, whatever it may be, will only tend to exacerbate what already exists when you come back down to earth (with a bump).

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Banging the ass off some young fit piece of tail (that you know you'd never pull outside of punterland) should be an uplifting experience for anyone with the inclination to actually do it (so many out there only ever dream about it). Coming all over their pretty faces after they've sucked your cock, smacking their tight buttocks, slobbering over their tight little quims, sniffing their poop shoots, licking their hairy big toes - or whatever is your key to a cock twitch should never really leave you feeling depressed.

However - booking in to some shit hole parlor, being confronted with 3 minging munters covered in tatts and track marks on their arms, so undereducated they struggle to spell their own name or string a sentence together, being led to a dingy room that reeks of spunk, being shown to a bed that is still showing traces of the last old blokes scatt session, not being able to touch, kiss, DATY - when you just know you should walk...........then that type of all too familiar punt (& I defy any regular punter to say they aint had the above on more than one occasion) - then yes, you do feel depressed - and not just coz you've blown this weeks electric money or feel ripped off or even sorry that any human being has to work under such conditions.......

life flitters along on a knife edge - good and bad decisions happen at each turn in the rocky road of life - its how well equipped you are as an individual to deal with them that makes us who we are.

If punting makes you feel that way then stop......

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Does anyone ever think a punt will alleviate depression - low, lonely, obsessive, miserable times where you're desperate for a bit of female attention and no-strings sex... and then you find it just makes things worse?

I've probably had less than fifteen punts in my time, but I can honestly say that only three of those actually left me feeling happy of any sort afterwards; intelligent, sensitive girls on good form, no OCD worries about safety... the rest have felt like a massive waste of money... I just don't know what I want and I don't think I can deal with the shame and seediness of it all sometimes... whilst other times, I'm cold to it. I'm an adult making a choice, the girls are adults making a choice as far as I can reasonably know, it's a straightforward business transaction without all the pissing about trying to court and please someone who's moods change with the wind - be that in a relationship or trying to get into a relationship.

I'm not great looking or successful - but I'm not ugly, and I'm not stupid. But I'm very confused and I can't be the only one who's ever thought this.

It is what it is. Chill out and enjoy the ride!

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Thank you for all the kind comments. To be honest, sometimes I've wondered if I have some kind of Aspergers myself - but various Doctors say no... but even so, I find it incredibly difficult to succeed in relationships with girls I'm attracted to. I've had a long term relationship (five years) and several short term ones, one-night stands, and various female friendships that have almost but not quite gone to the next level...

There are women from time to time who make it plain they want me, so I can't be utterly repellant or too weird looking - but I just I don't fancy them. As much as I feel mean for saying so, they're just never attractive or intelligent enough for me to be interested in them that way. I don't think I even enjoy sex that much, which is the weirdest thing.

I think the other thing is, my interests and demeanour often make people assume I'm gay - and I'm not outrageously camp or fey or anything - but while I'm not remotely homophobic, I do sometimes wonder if the reason I punt is validation on that front too. I wish I knew what to do. But I think the majority opinion that I should hold fire from punting is the right one.

Not trying to lessen your problem but a little perspective is a wonderful thing sometimes, especially when self-doubt is having a field day.

What you described in your first paragraph i think would cover the majority of people, no one has a relationship so successful it moves on to the next level until the first one comes along, some meet their soul mate when they are young, some dont until they are old and grey and most somewhere in the middle.

Maybe the reason you havnt got a permenant relationship is not because you are lacking in some way as a person but because no matter how much the emotional part of you wants it, another part of you just isnt ready for it. Whats that saying again...love always arrives when you least expect it, go looking and you will never find it.

How old are you just out of interest.

Some people just are not built for relationships but it takes a long time for this to dawn on you sometimes. I am not, thats for sure, but i didnt come to the realisation until the last few years, you are not somehow malfunctioning just because so far they have eventually come to an end,its just life.

Try even to not think of them as "failed" but as lessons in life, unique expiences with another person that may eventually enrich the relationship you find that does last,and as to the opposite sex, we all fumble around in that arena a lot more than some would admit lol.x

As for the gay thing, do yourself a BIG favour, stop letting what other people may or may not think about you affect how you see yourself, you do not have to proove yourself to anyone, least of all yourself, you know who and what you are so dont let others real or imagined make you question that.

I am a prostitute, if i stopped to think what society may think of me i would be in my bed all day, but i dont because i have life to live, i do what I feel is right and as no one else walks in my shoes but me, thats the only thing that matters.

INNER STRENGTH.XXX

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Does anyone ever think a punt will alleviate depression - low, lonely, obsessive, miserable times where you're desperate for a bit of female attention and no-strings sex... and then you find it just makes things worse?

I've probably had less than fifteen punts in my time, but I can honestly say that only three of those actually left me feeling happy of any sort afterwards; intelligent, sensitive girls on good form, no OCD worries about safety... the rest have felt like a massive waste of money... I just don't know what I want and I don't think I can deal with the shame and seediness of it all sometimes... whilst other times, I'm cold to it. I'm an adult making a choice, the girls are adults making a choice as far as I can reasonably know, it's a straightforward business transaction without all the pissing about trying to court and please someone who's moods change with the wind - be that in a relationship or trying to get into a relationship.

I'm not great looking or successful - but I'm not ugly, and I'm not stupid. But I'm very confused and I can't be the only one who's ever thought this.

I feel the same and have been treated for depression. One of the good things while on anti d's was that my sex drive started to go. I managed to stay away from going to an Escort for around 5 months. As soon as I stopped taking them I found the urge to be sexual again and because I don't have a partner I went back to my old ways.

I don't have problems finding women or dating them, but the problems of relationships make being single and punting convenient. The stress and woes of relationships get me down and I find it hard to be the person someone wants me to be.

As a free agent I just get on with life under my terms, but it's hard as I also have sexual urges and without a steady partner what can you do?

I don't want to be going to see Escorts and it's never made me feel great. This is probably due to the stigma and seediness associated with it.

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I don't you should go for a punt with the aim to to lift a depression.

I'd say about one in three of my punts are below par and I come out thinking 'well that was waste of time and money I'd rather have had a wank'.

It's just part of the game though. It's like when you go in to a shop you sometimes get bad service because the employees don't care and are bad at their job. Just have to roll on.

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