Firecrest

To all you married and attached guys...

8 posts in this topic

Hi

This is a question to those here that are married or in a long term relationship.

How has punting affected your relationship with your partner?

Both in the bedroom and in your day to day life?

Do you now find sex with your partner mundane and boring? Is your relationship better because you're getting what you need sexually outside of it?

Or has punting made you realise that your relationship is past its sell by date?

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I'd say it has improved my relationship with my partner.

If I wasnt getting as much sex as I wanted and relying solely on my partner for this I'm sure resentment would build up and I'd start to blame her, maybe not consciously, but subconsciously for the inevitable frustration that would build.

For me, and I think for many people who just dont want to admit it and remain amongst the lifelong unsatisfied, its unrealistic and unworkable to try and fulfil all of your sexual needs through a single 'life partner'.

That said, I can imagine spending the rest of my life with the woman I'm currently living with as she is wonderful and I love her deeply. While, even though, we're highly sexually compatible, I just don't expect, nor need her, to fulfil all of my sexual needs whenever I feel the urge, which as most guys know, is often at any time and in any place !!

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Punting saved my marriage. I got over my depression and stopped making demands on my wife that she couldn't meet. It's that simple.

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Punting saved my marriage. I got over my depression and stopped making demands on my wife that she couldn't meet. It's that simple.

WT, it sounds like you were once in the position that I find myself in now. I haven't punted yet because I really have no idea if it will make things better or worse...

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Punting saved my marriage. I got over my depression and stopped making demands on my wife that she couldn't meet. It's that simple.

Ditto from me. Only thing is what if she starts examining our finances more closely and asking about the frequency of cash withdrawals? It would take some explaining.

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Punting is there for finding what you can't or don't get in everyday relationships :)

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WT, it sounds like you were once in the position that I find myself in now. I haven't punted yet because I really have no idea if it will make things better or worse...

Everyone's situation is different, so I wouldn't presume to give advice, but I'll tell you what happened to me. I was facing a life of celibacy, and I wasn't prepared to dump my wife on account of it -- we love each other and it wasn't her fault. Punting gave me a way out that was safe and free of other entanglements.

The big hurdle was the infidelity aspect, obviously. I wasn't sure how I'd feel afterward. But in fact, I got a damned good rogering from a friendly and sympathetic lady, and THAT feeling, after so long, was so wonderful that the infidelity didn't bother me. Ditching my wife on account of sex would have been much worse anyway.

Now I'm an adulterer -- and one who visits prostitutes into the bargain. In the eyes of the world I know that makes me a slimeball. But nobody knows it, I feel better, and nobody has taken any harm. So, adulterer or not, it's a net gain.

The one aspect of regular sex that I miss is knowing that someone actually wants to shag me for its own sake, and not as a service. But the risks of trying to seduce someone else are too high -- random women wouldn't be interested (I'm no looker) and friends would be too dangerous.

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