Colonel Bonkers

When the punter can't come

48 posts in this topic

Two recent FRs from respected punters (you know who you are, gentlemen) confessed to not being able to make it across the finishing line during the punt in spite of the lady being more than up to their expectations. In each case there was a plausible and familiar explanation for it - insipient cold or punting fatigue (yes, we more mature gentlemen really should pace ourselves more carefully, shouldn't we). And in each case the punter said it hadn't really spoiled the overall effect of the punt. (This might be incomprehensible to younger punters, but I'm sure it's true that as you get older the focus moves away slightly from the orgasm.)

What would interest me is to hear what the ladies think. How frequent is it? Is it more frequent at certain ages or not? Are there obvious reasons for it - nerves, viagra...? How do the punters react - embarrassment, irritation, a good-natured shrug? How do you react - do you feel you've failed? Which of you is more anxious to squeeze out the precious drops at the end?

It happened to me a couple of months ago, by the way - and with one of my favourite ladies. And I really couldn't make out what the reason was.

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It happened to me too a couple of months ago, with an extremely lovely lady, but it was the second round in a 1 hour appointment.

I had to shrug it off and walk away.

I'm convinced it was due to stress.

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As the author of one of the reports mentioned I might add that the first time I see a lady I am sometimes a little nervous or stressed out by locating her place. Certainly on a subsequent visit I do find myself more relaxed and I approach the encounter mindful of a very satisfactory previous encounter (even if not an orgasmic one) and I find I cum more readily as a result.

As you say, Mr Bloom, there are things other than just 'getting one's rocks off' that contribute to a good punt in my book - such as:

Snuggling up for a nice snog

Feeling the warmth of the lady's body next to ones own especially when she massages your back whilst sat on your own bottom

A friendly personality

An intelligent conversation

The intimacy of oral (both ways)

Appreciation of one's own efforts to arouse the lady (whether she gets off or not)

A good cup of tea

The erotic naughtyness of watersports (if allowed)

A clear impression that she's comfortable with what she's doing

A response to one's own Email of thanks post event containing words to the effect "I enjoyed meeting you [again] and I hope you will book again soon".

I've never had a response along the lines "please, please see me again soon as your cock is just the best and there'll be no charge" - But I live in hope!!

Uncle Pokey :D

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I dont mind seeing someone even if they already know that they wont be able to come, as one rather old gentleman said to me on entereing the room one day "i wont come dear, only happens about twice a year nowadays...but we can have fun trying", seems like a good attitude to have if you know the possibility is there.

It is when someone cannot come or sometimes even get an erection, looks at you and says that it has never ever happened before and fixes you with an accusing glare that it bothers me, when you know that you have done all you possibly could. It makes you feel shit and look in the mirror and think, is it me, am i unnattractive....then you see him to the door, walk into the living room and 3 other girls say..."did he cum...he never cums".

Why make some girl feel crappy when she has done her best for you just cos you cant admit to yourself or her that you have an iccle problem down there, just say nothing, just say, oh well and thankyou for sucking my knob and balls for 50 minutes.xx

If someone warns me, or has a sense of humour about it if a one off droopy does occur for whatever reason then its just one of those things isnt it. There are more guys out there with issues in this area than let on, often times its a guy who cant blame the march of time either.xx

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As the author of one of the reports mentioned I might add that the first time I see a lady I am sometimes a little nervous or stressed out by locating her place. Certainly on a subsequent visit I do find myself more relaxed and I approach the encounter mindful of a very satisfactory previous encounter (even if not an orgasmic one) and I find I cum more readily as a result.

As you say, Mr Bloom, there are things other than just 'getting one's rocks off' that contribute to a good punt in my book - such as:

Snuggling up for a nice snog

Feeling the warmth of the lady's body next to ones own especially when she massages your back whilst sat on your own bottom

A friendly personality

An intelligent conversation

The intimacy of oral (both ways)

Appreciation of one's own efforts to arouse the lady (whether she gets off or not)

A good cup of tea

The erotic naughtyness of watersports (if allowed)

A clear impression that she's comfortable with what she's doing

A response to one's own Email of thanks post event containing words to the effect "I enjoyed meeting you [again] and I hope you will book again soon".

I've never had a response along the lines "please, please see me again soon as your cock is just the best and there'll be no charge" - But I live in hope!!

Uncle Pokey :D

Dunno if I'm one of the FR posters referred to by the OP but I have made this kind of statement frequently and I fully endorse Uncle Pokey's comments.

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A few years ago as I approached my mid 40s, I was unfortunate to go down with chicken pox.

Was off work for a month and wasn't able to exercise regularly for about 6 months (and carried on eating and drinking as if I were :D ).

But the down side is that I rarely wake up with the morning boner. Additionally my ability to get hard again within the hour of the first orgasm has pretty much gone.

So I prefer to snog, to cuddle, to tease, to flirt and get involved in for play, so when I do cum it is fun.

Bootlover

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it happens as lets face junior has a mind of its own at times as all us gals can testify too, just as something it fails to come out to play at all .........we can still take/give pleasure with out the sticky stuff and just accept it happens occaisionally.

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I very rarely cum in an appointment and it has nothing to do with the quality of the lady - or rather the nicer the girl, the less likely to cum.

My regulars know as I tell them it won't happen with them cos they're so nice and they say they don't believe me but learn it's true, which doesn't stop them trying their hardest.

But it is obviously only polite and reasonable to let girls know so they are not at all concerned for reasons given earlier.

Good list Uncle Pokey.

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Oh dear!. I'm afraid that this happens to me more frequently than I would like:(

It NEVER happened to me a few years ago but, as an old guy, I now get used to it. Mind you, when I do come I am "over the moon".:o I always apologise to the lady concerned and point out to her that it is nothing to do with her. The ladies I visit all seem quite happy to take this onboard as it were. I usually point out to the lady at the onset of the encounter that I have problems in that respect and I think that this helps. I have had some very pleasant meetings with ladies when, although I haven't managed to "pass the finishing line", I have had plenty of kissing, cuddling and oral both ways followed by a massage and a nice chat. I invariably follow this up with a message to the lady thanking her for the service she provided. Call me a "fluffy" if you like; I don't mind.

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I have had a few clients explain to me before we begin that they have trouble in the 'cum' department....

My reply is "lets just have a nice time instead".

Most times they do 'cum' at the end, and with a big smile on their face have told me that "they have not done that in a long time".

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As the author of one of the reports mentioned I might add that the first time I see a lady I am sometimes a little nervous or stressed out by locating her place. Certainly on a subsequent visit I do find myself more relaxed and I approach the encounter mindful of a very satisfactory previous encounter (even if not an orgasmic one) and I find I cum more readily as a result.

As you say, Mr Bloom, there are things other than just 'getting one's rocks off' that contribute to a good punt in my book - such as:

Snuggling up for a nice snog

Feeling the warmth of the lady's body next to ones own especially when she massages your back whilst sat on your own bottom

A friendly personality

An intelligent conversation

The intimacy of oral (both ways)

Appreciation of one's own efforts to arouse the lady (whether she gets off or not)

A good cup of tea

The erotic naughtyness of watersports (if allowed)

A clear impression that she's comfortable with what she's doing

A response to one's own Email of thanks post event containing words to the effect "I enjoyed meeting you [again] and I hope you will book again soon".

I've never had a response along the lines "please, please see me again soon as your cock is just the best and there'll be no charge" - But I live in hope!!

Uncle Pokey :o

Beautifully put. I agree 100%, right down to the tea.

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Crikey Uncle Pokey, if it wasn't that I prefer coffee to tea, I'd think that you'd been reading my mind!

Well said!

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I have had a few clients explain to me before we begin that they have trouble in the 'cum' department....

My reply is "lets just have a nice time instead".

Most times they do 'cum' at the end, and with a big smile on their face have told me that "they have not done that in a long time".

It is indeed very rewarding when a client surprises himself. Having a massage is different because the fella's not exerting himself in any way, nor is there any mental pressure on him to perform - we can almost 'nick' the orgasm out of him if we time it right :o

These past months I've got right into the sexual therapy side of arousal and orgasms, that's the kind of client I've been attracting so I'm reacting to it. It's really interesting the way we perceive our sensations and arousal to be, often subconsciously stopping our body showing us something different, until we are either overcome or caught unaware.

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May I just contribute further to this thread as follows:

There is a huge difference between being unable to cum (orgasm/spurt/whatever) and being able to maintain an errection/stiffy and so on ad nausiam.

For the avoidance of doubt I declare myself a retarded ejaculator but not an unable stiffy producer.

Uncle Pokey:)

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I have to say I don't like it, I feel as though I have let him down :o

Thank goodness it doesn't happen often.

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It takes me a while to get comfortable, that's just the way I am so no fireworks on the first appointment is kind of normal. Explaining this to the girl at the beginning usually helps. All the girls I've met thus far have been fine with this and look forward to next time. When there are fireworks then it's big smiles all round, Win:Win etc.

I see closing as a bonus rather than a target, getting closer each time can add to the intensity.

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I am glad I have read this thread. I was starting to think I was the only one with this "issue". I always make a point of telling the girl that it is highly unlikely to happen as well, and they have always been fine with it.

I do tell them that even though it is far from ideal, that I will still enjoy the time together and that it is absolutely nothing to do with her- the issue is mine.

When I get a really good girl I probably should book her again to see if, after the first meeting nerves have subsided, I am able to perform better. For me, the whole thing probably is that I just struggle to relax enough and get into the moment fully.

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It doesn't worry me - on the last couple of occasions with my favourite lady we've had a good humping session but I've just not been able to come.

On the last occasion she gave me a wank to finish me off and that was fine.

I'll try not to worry about it and hopefully it'll sort itself out.:o

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The PDE5 inhibitors Viagra, Cialis and Levitra assist in getting an erection but can reduce the ability to cum.

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That's interesting Silverstone.

From what you say I may thus (as a sometime Kamagra user) be faced with a choice of failing to get up a long lasting stiffy or failing to cum.

If I read you right I may be better off ditching the Kamagra, pitching my punting at around once a month, not wanking for several days prior to and not ingesting anything else like beer, wine or spirits prior to. This is all sensible and good advice. I think I should follow it.

Whether I can will be a serious test for me.

Uncle Pokey

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The PDE5 inhibitors Viagra, Cialis and Levitra assist in getting an erection but can reduce the ability to cum.

That's intersting to know. I wonder if there is an ideal period of "jazz abstinance" prior to a punt.

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That's interesting Silverstone.

From what you say I may thus (as a sometime Kamagra user) be faced with a choice of failing to get up a long lasting stiffy or failing to cum.

If I read you right I may be better off ditching the Kamagra, pitching my punting at around once a month, not wanking for several days prior to and not ingesting anything else like beer, wine or spirits prior to. This is all sensible and good advice. I think I should follow it.

Whether I can will be a serious test for me.

Uncle Pokey

Sounds like an awful plan, Poke. Foregoing wine, at least. I agree with not wanking but I really believe that much of the problem lies in the head, with feeling the pressure to perform. If I start down that road, it is hard to turn back, but if I say 'in for a penny, in for £120' and go for it, things usually work out fine in the end. Occasionally, something goes wrong but if I've done all the other things I've wanted to do and seem to have given a bit of pleasure in return (other than having discreetly slipped the £120 under her mobile), che sera.:)

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I think sometimes men fixate too much on the ability to cum. I was with a really lovely client yesterday and we had a great meet, but coming towards the end he still hadn't cum, despite obviously being very turned on. He apologised and my reaction was to ask him if he was enjoying himself, which he said yes to. I then told him that for me that was the important thing, as then I know I am doing the right thing. Within 5 minutes after that he came, because the pressure to 'perform' was taken off him.

I think most ladies like to know that what they do is enjoyed and appreciated, but don't really mind how that is manifested. She certainly isn't going to lose sleep over it if you don't cum, although may feel a little down if she feels she has disappointed you, so my suggestion would be to communicate.

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It happened to me last year. But it was because I tried to do two dinner dates (which are longer sessions) back to back nights. Had a constant hard on throughout due to cialis but could not cum.

I felt sorry for the lady on night two afterwards. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful body and she really turned me on big time. She was clearly perturbed that she could not get me to cum notwithstanding that I tried to tell her that I was having a great time and not worried about cumming.

She subsequently made up an excuse not to see me for an incall.

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Happened to me once :)

I was in the final throws of a 2 hour threesome and despite the 2 girls best efforts i just could not manage a 5th time :eek:

I was not impressed :)

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