Guest Lessingham

Bloody Showers!

34 posts in this topic

I had a lovely session on Friday and afterwards wandered off to the bathroom to shower me down. The wg, went in and fiddled a bit with the shower and then announced it was "broke" and wandered off again in that delightful way they have.

I had to kneel and shower off the oils and smell of woman under the taps.

Being the married and worried type I then had to race home and shower at home, trying hard to remember to rub myself off with an used t shirt afterwards- old bit of advice as wives get suspicious if there is a lack of a smell as much as too much of a smell. Then drying off the hair before the wife reappeard.

So what was a well paced afternoon of freedom ended up in rushed panic, all due to a lack of shower.

I know you wgs are adorable and provide excellent service to we mere punters. But please remember we too have lives outside the one hour of delight. And the longer you help us in our subtefuges with the wives, the longer we remain as willing cash cows- sorry customers!

(Apart from that it was a bloody wonderful hour!)

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That's why you should always have a shower after you first arrive ;)

Amateurs.

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That's why you should always have a shower after you first arrive ;)

Amateurs.

How would that help exactly?

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How would that help exactly?

If you know the shower is shit before the fun starts, you can avoid the more smelly stuff.

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How would that help exactly?

I suppose he meant you'd know up front if it wasn't working. However, if you arrange to see a lady, she and you turn up both on time, and she's gorgeous ...

... are you really going to walk away just because the shower is broken ?

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I suppose he meant you'd know up front if it wasn't working. However, if you arrange to see a lady, she and you turn up both on time, and she's gorgeous ...

... are you really going to walk away just because the shower is broken ?

Yeah but atleast you'd know brfore the fun gets started that u need to either rush home for a shower or sod of down the gym work up a sweat and have a shower there :D

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I had a lovely session on Friday and afterwards wandered off to the bathroom to shower me down. The wg, went in and fiddled a bit with the shower and then announced it was "broke" and wandered off again in that delightful way they have.

I had to kneel and shower off the oils and smell of woman under the taps.

Being the married and worried type I then had to race home and shower at home, trying hard to remember to rub myself off with an used t shirt afterwards- old bit of advice as wives get suspicious if there is a lack of a smell as much as too much of a smell. Then drying off the hair before the wife reappeard.

So what was a well paced afternoon of freedom ended up in rushed panic, all due to a lack of shower.

I know you wgs are adorable and provide excellent service to we mere punters. But please remember we too have lives outside the one hour of delight. And the longer you help us in our subtefuges with the wives, the longer we remain as willing cash cows- sorry customers!

(Apart from that it was a bloody wonderful hour!)

How did you explain the need to shower to 'er indoors - I guess you did not dry the floor of the shower - but not having wet hair?

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I thought this was going to be a thread about period play :blink:

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I thought this was going to be a thread about period play :blink:

Very good. ;)

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That's why you should always have a shower after you first arrive ;)

Amateurs.

hehe..smart one ;)

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I had a lovely session on Friday and afterwards wandered off to the bathroom to shower me down. The wg, went in and fiddled a bit with the shower and then announced it was "broke" and wandered off again in that delightful way they have.

I had to kneel and shower off the oils and smell of woman under the taps.

Being the married and worried type I then had to race home and shower at home, trying hard to remember to rub myself off with an used t shirt afterwards- old bit of advice as wives get suspicious if there is a lack of a smell as much as too much of a smell. Then drying off the hair before the wife reappeard.

So what was a well paced afternoon of freedom ended up in rushed panic, all due to a lack of shower.

I know you wgs are adorable and provide excellent service to we mere punters. But please remember we too have lives outside the one hour of delight. And the longer you help us in our subtefuges with the wives, the longer we remain as willing cash cows- sorry customers!

(Apart from that it was a bloody wonderful hour!)

Take one of these with you, problem solved.

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T'sk! I should have showered first! What an amateur indeed.

But in these cold autumnal day I tend to arrive fresh at the appointment. And if I had known of the shower it's a bit of a bugger to stop every five minutes to sniff myself to see if I can pass the no shower test.

And ekk! I forgot to dry the shower tray. I think there is a short story about a man who murders his wife and starts to clean off his fingerprints. He tries to recall everything he touched and in the end the police find him in the cellar cleaning chunks of coal, just in case. I could have refilled the shower gel bottle, replaced the wet towels, dried off mr rubber ducky but that way lies madness.

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Being the married and worried type I then had to race home and shower at home, trying hard to remember to rub myself off with an used t shirt afterwards- old bit of advice as wives get suspicious if there is a lack of a smell as much as too much of a smell. Then drying off the hair before the wife reappeard.

Oh, I know that one. It's why I have to leave as much time as possible between punts or guarantee 100% she's not home for some time. One tip I heard was to take up a sport in the evenings. You'll come home smelling fresh for a reason and as you'll be playing you'll leave the phone in a locker. The sport and punting can be interchangeable as required.

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Being the married and worried type I then had to race home and shower at home, trying hard to remember to rub myself off with an used t shirt afterwards- old bit of advice as wives get suspicious if there is a lack of a smell as much as too much of a smell. Then drying off the hair before the wife reappeard.

Oh, I know that one. It's why I have to leave as much time as possible between punts or guarantee 100% she's not home for some time. One tip I heard was to take up a sport in the evenings. You'll come home smelling fresh for a reason and as you'll be playing you'll leave the phone in a locker. The sport and punting can be interchangeable as required.

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Never assume anything - not all ladies will be able to offer shower facilities at all :P My insurance won't cover it if a gentleman falls down and cracks his skull, so all I can offer is a splash down using the sink.

Fortunately, I'm in Newcastle. Finding a punter around here who wants to shower would be tricky :D

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Never assume anything - not all ladies will be able to offer shower facilities at all :P My insurance won't cover it if a gentleman falls down and cracks his skull, so all I can offer is a splash down using the sink.

Fortunately, I'm in Newcastle. Finding a punter around here who wants to shower would be tricky :D

In all seriousness, if the girl does not have shower facilities where she works I won't be booking her at that location again.

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Perhaps take some non-fragranced wet wipes punting with you? Failing that a bag of dog shit, if you can't find a shower fall into your dog shit before opening door to wife. She'll have your clothes in soak and you in the shower before you can say 'deceiving little shite'.

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My insurance won't cover it if a gentleman falls down and cracks his skull, so all I can offer is a splash down using the sink.

What happens if the gentleman slips on a wet floor after a splash down using the sink and cracks his skull, does your insurance cover that?

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All good tips above.

I also learned to check for functioning shower on in-calls (e.g. not in my hotelroom).

Interesting remark about the smell-bad part too.

When I saw the title, I was thinking: some showers are bloody hell to operate.

And the posher the hotel, the more complicated the shower can be.

Either you dont know what buttons to push or you dont get the temperature right. Another reason to shower up front as well as after.

Btw: There is an excellent club (continent) I been to where the showers were nice, but no hot water... brrrrr.

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Perhaps take some non-fragranced wet wipes punting with you? Failing that a bag of dog shit, if you can't find a shower fall into your dog shit before opening door to wife. She'll have your clothes in soak and you in the shower before you can say 'deceiving little shite'.

I actually do this, just in case. One bitten twice shy. B)

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I have a policy of personally washing down my gentlemen callers to ensure they are oil and scent of woman free when they leave and all my products are unscented for this purpose too.

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I had a lovely session on Friday and afterwards wandered off to the bathroom to shower me down. The wg, went in and fiddled a bit with the shower and then announced it was "broke" and wandered off again in that delightful way they have.

Why you did not plug (pi)for a quick dip in the bath instead? Considering that with a most electric showers, it can be difficult to adjust the temperature of the water (its either to hot or gives you hypothermia, lol), surely the bath is the easiest option in above circumstances? :-)

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have a grope around the engine bit of your car. that gives an excuse for a shower.

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Ugh- a place without a proper shower. One I'd avoid. Some places insist on you having a shower first, not that you should need to be asked.

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When I saw the title, I was thinking: some showers are bloody hell to operate.

And the posher the hotel, the more complicated the shower can be.

Either you dont know what buttons to push or you dont get the temperature right. Another reason to shower up front as well as after.

As a slight offshoot to the thread I have found I now have the very odd skill of being able to work pretty much all types of shower due to having to learn them all when showering at the ladies place.

An utterly pointless skill outside of punting but its one I now have :)

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