JamesBG

Roving Husband

31 posts in this topic

Can you explain what 'accomodation ' you have with your wife and how this was reached ??

I find it extraordinary that a happily married wife would allow her sex life with her husband to die off and either risk or settle for her hubby finding solace elsewhere.

Do Women's magazine's not counsel their readers heavily on this subject ??

But what are her options? If she has genuinely gone off sex, does she pretend to like it? That would lead to resentment on her part.

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I find it extraordinary that a happily married wife would allow her sex life with her husband to die off and either risk or settle for her hubby finding solace elsewhere.

Do Women's magazine's not counsel their readers heavily on this subject ??

Don't they just tell their readers what they want to hear? Make time for each other, run a nice bath with scented candles blah, blah blah...

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I find it extraordinary that a happily married wife would allow her sex life with her husband to die off and either risk or settle for her hubby finding solace elsewhere.

Do Women's magazine's not counsel their readers heavily on this subject ??

maybe she just doesnt fancy him so much any more..womens magazines are full of nonsense..all women surely must realise that!

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I find it extraordinary that a happily married wife would allow her sex life with her husband to die off and either risk or settle for her hubby finding solace elsewhere.

Do Women's magazine's not counsel their readers heavily on this subject ??

Why is it necessarily the wife who has allowed the sex life to go in this instance ? During relationships all kinds of trading and bargaining is made in order to ensure and equalibrium is met. When the balance tips too far out of kilter it can often be the sex that drops off the radar. What may seem like one man doing everything to please his wife only to be rejected does have another side - his wife. Her account of going off sex could make you think her stance is completely acceptable.

If you have to look after the home, children, are resonsible for organising everything and have a career/crappy job on top of that is it any wonder many women get a bit miffed at having to become a sexual goddess too ?

One thing that I've found whilst escorting is there are clients who mention the wife has gone of sex and in all honesty judging by the performance during the appointment it's hardly suprising she has and you do wonder how she managed to grin and bare it for so long. Wish that in the early days she had been able to train him up to be able to pleasure her. It would be an interesting exercise if you could get the escorts the blogger has seen to write up FRs on his performance.

Shoe on the other foot and you have the 'Tale of Woe' and you find the clients are very good sexually and think the wife was a bit silly to not take advantage of his skills.

As for much of the crap written in women's magazines, I rarely read them but when I have it doesn't suprise me so many people have problems with their relationships and their lives, comes to think of it.

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Don't they just tell their readers what they want to hear? Make time for each other, run a nice bath with scented candles blah, blah blah...

I'd like to see an article typed up in a magazine telling female readers how duped they had been some of the Feminazi, give up having a full time job, let him bring the bacon home and you will have plenty of time to spend thinking about being horny, getting ready for sex and sitting around with your friends on an afternoon drinking tea and coffee. :D

A man handing over most, to all of his wages to his wife probably has the same turn on as a client handing over the cash does to an escort.

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Can you explain what 'accomodation ' you have with your wife and how this was reached ??

Basically I explained that rather than me continue to "try" we could agree no more sex and I would solve my own problem. She was not happy with "no more sex forever" and we agreed on a few times per week with her only looking for an orgasm occasionaly.

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Basically I explained that rather than me continue to "try" we could agree no more sex and I would solve my own problem. She was not happy with "no more sex forever" and we agreed on a few times per week with her only looking for an orgasm occasionaly.

Get your tin hat on mate

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Basically I explained that rather than me continue to "try" we could agree no more sex and I would solve my own problem. She was not happy with "no more sex forever" and we agreed on a few times per week with her only looking for an orgasm occasionaly.

A few times per week? The guy in the Blog hasn't had sex with his wife for a year.

Brilliant blog James, thanks for sharing - I've just read about a dozen entries, so many truths in there.

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Basically I explained that rather than me continue to "try" we could agree no more sex and I would solve my own problem. She was not happy with "no more sex forever" and we agreed on a few times per week with her only looking for an orgasm occasionaly.

A few times a week of having sex with your wife and you feel justified in seeing other women as you 'don't get enough' ? Mmmmmm . I could say all plenty more but will just leave it as is.

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:rolleyes:

A few times a week of having sex with your wife and you feel justified in seeing other women as you 'don't get enough' ? Mmmmmm . I could say all plenty more but will just leave it as is.

It was 3 years ago I started seeing escorts when that gave me the confidence to discuss our sex life with my wife. Since we reached our understanding I have not had the need or desire to do so. But I know that alternative exists if I ever need it. So I am not the Ba---rd you seem to have imagined :rolleyes:

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A few times a week of having sex with your wife and you feel justified in seeing other women as you 'don't get enough' ? Mmmmmm . I could say all plenty more but will just leave it as is.

On second thoughts I just can't leave it completely but can I suggest as a gift for your wife this Christmas you find her a well run course on 'Confidence and Assertiveness Training' and if needs be pay for her to attend ?

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On second thoughts I just can't leave it completely but can I suggest as a gift for your wife this Christmas you find her a well run course on 'Confidence and Assertiveness Training' and if needs be pay for her to attend ?

Please see my previous clarification before hanging me

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:rolleyes:

It was 3 years ago I started seeing escorts when that gave me the confidence to discuss our sex life with my wife. Since we reached our understanding I have not had the need or desire to do so. But I know that alternative exists if I ever need it. So I am not the Ba---rd you seem to have imagined :rolleyes:

Apologies, I didn't realise you didn't punt anymore so can scrap the other parts I was going to post. Phew !

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It was 3 years ago I started seeing escorts when that gave me the confidence to discuss our sex life with my wife. Since we reached our understanding I have not had the need or desire to do so.

I wouldn't have the energy :lol:

Edited by Vin DaLoo

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I wonder what percentage of marriages are more or less sex less?

In many, I don't suppose it matters a great deal if the relationship is stable. Also, the initial fun has probably worn off for many and punting, with its new lady, new environment and slightly risque manner, is perhaps the way to go?

My wife doesn't like be to go down on her since she has put on weight. I like to go down on ladies. She used to give me a good blow job and cone in mouth and swallow, but this has all stopped now, so I go see escorts.

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I can never get my head round this. If I thought my husband no longer desired me I would be crushed as I guess would my husband if I felt the same. How do you come to this sort of arrangement, how does the conversation happen that states we are no longer having sex. When to you stop caring enough to not want that person sexually.

I just don't understand it at all. I don't think I am that different to other women as far as I am aware but sometimes you just bubble over with feelings and want to express them through sex, want that person all over you. Surely if this is no longer then it is merely a friendship or a convenience it is not complete. I know that you do not have to have sex to show how you care for someone but would it not be kinder to all to just leave and allow each other the freedom to find a complete relationship without one half having to seek out sex elsewhere.

No matter what a women wants to be desired so I can only presume she no longer lusts after her husband or cares for his or her needs other than the safety or security of a sexless marriage therefore both parties despite their 'arrangement' must be unhappy.

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, how does the conversation happen that states we are no longer having sex. When to you stop caring enough to not want that person sexually.

I suspect that the longer a couple go without having sex the harder it becomes to 'break the ice'

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mention the wife has gone of sex and in all honesty judging by the performance during the appointment it's hardly suprising she has and you do wonder how she managed to grin and bare it for so long

I've spoken with several men who are looking elsewhere because the wife has gone off sex.

I'm in no position to judge on the looking else where front, but it's interesting that they (appear to) assume that I will assume the problem lies with the wife.

My first thought is more 'guess you're not likely to be a red hot lover then'

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Basically I explained that rather than me continue to "try" we could agree no more sex and I would solve my own problem. She was not happy with "no more sex forever" and we agreed on a few times per week with her only looking for an orgasm occasionaly.

Sorry James, everyone else seems to have gone along with this explanation but to me its double dutch -- I have no idea whats going on ! I would suggest that your initial post would be interpreted by most people as referring to a relatively recent accomodation which you reached with your wife-- in fact you now say it was 3 years ago . In any event, I understand that before you reached this 'accomodation', you felt it necessary to punt with WGs to make up for a near sexless marriage. You then felt more able to confront your wife, who in fear of agreeing to an official sexless marriage { but with you off getting sex elsewhere } capitulated and then felt able to agree to sex at least a few times per week with you but so as not to annoy you too much,would only require you to provide her with the odd orgasm ! Something badly wrong here , where, I am not entirely sure.

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Monogamy is unnatural and perverted, an 'ideal' drilled into the population thanks to the malign legacy of religion. It is absurd to expect any couple who have been together for a long period of time to still fancy each other. Hats off to those who still do, but there are many, many people like this blogger.

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Why is it necessarily the wife who has allowed the sex life to go in this instance ? During relationships all kinds of trading and bargaining is made in order to ensure and equalibrium is met. When the balance tips too far out of kilter it can often be the sex that drops off the radar. What may seem like one man doing everything to please his wife only to be rejected does have another side - his wife. Her account of going off sex could make you think her stance is completely acceptable.

If you have to look after the home, children, are resonsible for organising everything and have a career/crappy job on top of that is it any wonder many women get a bit miffed at having to become a sexual goddess too ?

One thing that I've found whilst escorting is there are clients who mention the wife has gone of sex and in all honesty judging by the performance during the appointment it's hardly suprising she has and you do wonder how she managed to grin and bare it for so long. Wish that in the early days she had been able to train him up to be able to pleasure her. It would be an interesting exercise if you could get the escorts the blogger has seen to write up FRs on his performance.

Shoe on the other foot and you have the 'Tale of Woe' and you find the clients are very good sexually and think the wife was a bit silly to not take advantage of his skills.

As for much of the crap written in women's magazines, I rarely read them but when I have it doesn't suprise me so many people have problems with their relationships and their lives, comes to think of it.

Absolutely right, you wonderful woman. However,if a poster tells you its not his fault and that his lovely wife and friend has just gone off sex, then you have to deal with it on that basis.

Lets be honest here, the biological clock is more unfair to the woman and more is the pity. I dont want to talk about my own situation I suppose as I have never said anything negative or uncomplimentary about my wife to another soul.I guess that women's interest in sex decreases somewhat with age and with their physical looks. Mature men for a whole range of reasons rightly or wrongly, still feel able to sexually attract women both of the same age and younger and this I suggest helps sex drive. On the otherhand I dont think mature women ( late 40s.50s ) feel they have the same pulling power and therefore this must affect their interest in sex, as they are not in the ' zone' as much as the male. But I guess where the 'mature' woman finds herself in the zone, their is no stopping her and no limits.It is up to us,particularly the married guys, to bring about the circumstances where she is often ' in the zone ', so that she regularly feels attractive and sexy and will therefore

respond accordingly. I know, easier said than done and I'm afraid a bath and candles isnt going to do it !!

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I am sure that a sexual relationship can be re-vitalized if there is love and therefore something to work on. What would be more difficult to eliminate is the lust for a 'more beautiful' sexual partner and the realisation that the beauty you married and handsome young man that was possibly you no longer exists. This is almost blaming your wife for you seeing prostitutes, when in fact she may be off sex for reasons attributable to him.

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Sorry James, everyone else seems to have gone along with this explanation but to me its double dutch -- I have no idea whats going on ! I would suggest that your initial post would be interpreted by most people as referring to a relatively recent accomodation which you reached with your wife-- in fact you now say it was 3 years ago . In any event, I understand that before you reached this 'accomodation', you felt it necessary to punt with WGs to make up for a near sexless marriage. You then felt more able to confront your wife, who in fear of agreeing to an official sexless marriage { but with you off getting sex elsewhere } capitulated and then felt able to agree to sex at least a few times per week with you but so as not to annoy you too much,would only require you to provide her with the odd orgasm ! Something badly wrong here , where, I am not entirely sure.

The purpose of my post was to highlight a blog which I found interesting and thought others might.

For clarity on my situation:

We have been married for over 40 years and love each other very much.About 10 years ago our love making had declined to once every few months because my wife simply had lost desire. About 3 years ago I felt I could not go on and after finding PN visited 3 escorts very secretly. This restored my self confidence to the point that my wife and I had some long discussions about sex. It turned out she was wanted the cuddles etc and was happy to give me satisfaction but only wanted sex for herself occasionally. For the past 3 years this has worked well.

Sorry to have confused some of you but I was focussed on the blog I had found and did not realise my own situation would be of such interest.

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