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marksmith

Never Had A Girlfriend

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Im 28 and as yet, ive never had a girlfriend in my life. Ive got friends who are girls, just never had a "girlfriend" to get close to. Think most girls just see me as a friend and nothing more. Main reason tho is i dont have a great deal of confidence (may sound odd seeing as i punt), but also fear rejection. I would rather a girl i fancy walk past me in a pub, than me go up to her and risk her telling me to go away or something similar. The only way i would get close to a girl is if she made the first move, but so far in my life this hasnt happened, nor has a girl shown interest in me.

So my only intimate interaction with a girl is through punting, which i do love doing. But as great as it is, its not the same. I do enjoy being single and like to do what i want, when i want, but i would also like the kissing/cuddling and general intimacy from a girl who wants me because she fancies me, not because i book and pay her. I see friends and work colleagues with girlfriends, and meeting new girls all the time, and often think "why doesnt that happen to me", or "will it ever happen to me".

So anyone else out there abit like me, having never had a girlfriend and just punt? I often think i must be the only person in the world not to have had a girlfriend even if it wasnt a long term relationship. Just felt like getting it off my chest, as i cant really talk to friends about it as it would mean telling them what i do as a hobby

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You should talk to your friends........ you dont have to tell them you Punt.

I myself have not been involved with anyone for years now. It is something I miss, and I would like to get going in the "real world" again.

However, you should also consider (as I do) that punting takes away the incentive/motivation to meet ladies. As it is just to easy to pick up the phone and make a booking, which will give you some short term satisfaction.

A very brave post "marksmith" - there cant be many out there to make this admission. You are not alone. My admission would be that one of the secretaries at work apparently has a bit of a crush on me :P - however I just havent got the nerve to do anything about it. She ticks all the box's- and I'm just to scared.

So any advice for me would also be appreciated!.

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I've been single for two years and am trying to find a partner. I've been on lots of dates but not found anyone special yet, or I should say, anyone I like who likes me!! Have you tried internet dating sites? I'm on plentyoffish.com, it's free and imo as good as any of the paid ones! Give it a go, it's a lot easier to ask a girl out online, than it is face to face! As for confidence, seeing WG's is a great way to get more at easy with being around attractive women, especially if you have a regular girl and can build up a pseudo-relationship with her!

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I would make looking for a GF a prority and forget the punting especially at ur age.

just need to be in the right places. If you are not then get a part time job glass collecting in a pub / night club etc.

It's simple maths the more women you talk to the more chances.why do you think butt ugly bouncers get the girls it aint through looks!

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A very brave post "marksmith" - there cant be many out there to make this admission. You are not alone. My admission would be that one of the secretaries at work apparently has a bit of a crush on me :P - however I just havent got the nerve to do anything about it. She ticks all the box's- and I'm just to scared.

So any advice for me would also be appreciated!.

I also think it is a brave post by you both and I would love to be able to give some advice or suggestions but I am not sure what to say.

The fact you have posted is a positive move. There are many lonely people but I think its one of the hardest things to discuss, even with friends. I use to see people who were so comfortable being popular and so at ease meeting new people and think to myself is that natural or did they learn it, and if they did where did they learn it. It is a confidence thing and it grows at an astonishing rate once you get the feel for it.

Trust me, someone saying "no thanks" doent hurt as much as you think it might. Bite the bullet and have a go, better to try and fail than to fail to try.

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I would make looking for a GF a prority and forget the punting especially at ur age.

I have to disagree. Punting will help guys with low confidence. Not only are they paying for a nice time with a pretty girl, but she is also helping them gain in confidence....it seems even more worth while imo! Before I started punting, I found beautiful women intimidating and would get nervous and "tong-tied" around them, now I don't have that problem.

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I'm the same. I have asked girls out many times - but have always been met with silly excuses or (sometimes) non-existent boyfriends. I learned to accept that I am simply not attractive to females. I concentrated on working hard & obtained a very well paid job. Most recently the only females interested in me are single mothers with (sometimes) large debts. Given that I have no wish to help bring up somebody else's child or pay off their debt, I am still unable to find anyone suitable for a relationship. I am in my early 50's & still a virgin. I have considered punting, but it would mean losing my job & everything I worked for if caught. Consequently, I have just had to learn to live without a partner.

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Its weird how i can lack in confidence but then quite happily ring up a receptionist, make a booking, travel to the booking and spend an hour with a stunning girl. That i seem to have no problem with, but saying "hello" to a random stranger in a pub i do. Thats where i think the rejection thing comes in. Alot less likely to get a WG to reject you then a stranger in a pub would.

I wouldnt say im lonely as i have some great mates and punt regularly, but it does get me down for abit now and again

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I'm the same. I have asked girls out many times - but have always been met with silly excuses or (sometimes) non-existent boyfriends. I learned to accept that I am simply not attractive to females. I concentrated on working hard & obtained a very well paid job. Most recently the only females interested in me are single mothers with (sometimes) large debts. Given that I have no wish to help bring up somebody else's child or pay off their debt, I am still unable to find anyone suitable for a relationship. I am in my early 50's & still a virgin. I have considered punting, but it would mean losing my job & everything I worked for if caught. Consequently, I have just had to learn to live without a partner.

Providing you can keep a secret, there is little chance of being caught in my opinion. I dont punt on my doorstep so to speak, but no one knows what i do except the people i choose to tell

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I am in my early 50's & still a virgin. I have considered punting, but it would mean losing my job & everything I worked for if caught. Consequently, I have just had to learn to live without a partner.

If you visit an Independent girl who works alone, in her own home, or she visits you at your home, then no crime is being commited! How can you lose your job, for this? Even if someone found out, tell them you only saw her for a massage and to mind there own fucking business!

Edited by Kid A

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I'm the same. I have asked girls out many times - but have always been met with silly excuses or (sometimes) non-existent boyfriends. I learned to accept that I am simply not attractive to females. I concentrated on working hard & obtained a very well paid job. Most recently the only females interested in me are single mothers with (sometimes) large debts. Given that I have no wish to help bring up somebody else's child or pay off their debt, I am still unable to find anyone suitable for a relationship. I am in my early 50's & still a virgin. I have considered punting, but it would mean losing my job & everything I worked for if caught. Consequently, I have just had to learn to live without a partner.

OK, I'll just assume you're serious.

You realise the chances of getting seen are about nil? I've been punting in London for a decade, with hundreds of girls, and never once even so much as bumped into somebody I knew on the way to a punt. And who do you think gives a (excuse my French) flying fuck anyway? OK, maybe your immediate underlings, knives in their sweaty hands, but they have no chance of finding out. There is a finite chance that all of the atoms in your body jump two feet to the left, or that you get blown up by a terrorist, but hey, it just ain't gonna happen.

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You realise the chances of getting seen are about nil?

I'll just add that even if somebody does see you just as you're on your way into a WG's flat to do the dirty deed, it's highly unlikely - in London anyway - that anybody around will have any idea who lives there or what they do. London is notorious for neighbours living inches away who wouldn't know you from Adam if they met you in the street. Central London doubly so. I'm sure other cities are the same, if not quite to the same extent. If you live in a small town, well, go to the nearest city.

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I have to disagree. Punting will help guys with low confidence. Not only are they paying for a nice time with a pretty girl, but she is also helping them gain in confidence....it seems even more worth while imo! Before I started punting, I found beautiful women intimidating and would get nervous and "tong-tied" around them, now I don't have that problem.

I have to disagree. Punting will help guys with low confidence

Disagree kid - the guys 28 and the worlds his oyster.

looking at postings it seems that there is too great an emphasis on looks. personality a laugh and charm woos the girls.

nothing replaces a gf/ wife - punting is the bit on the side.

I am a hypocrit too as taking at Lou's web site and gallery I am in love !!!!

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Im 28 and as yet, ive never had a girlfriend in my life. Ive got friends who are girls, just never had a "girlfriend" to get close to. Think most girls just see me as a friend and nothing more. Main reason tho is i dont have a great deal of confidence (may sound odd seeing as i punt), but also fear rejection. I would rather a girl i fancy walk past me in a pub, than me go up to her and risk her telling me to go away or something similar. The only way i would get close to a girl is if she made the first move, but so far in my life this hasnt happened, nor has a girl shown interest in me.

So my only intimate interaction with a girl is through punting, which i do love doing. But as great as it is, its not the same. I do enjoy being single and like to do what i want, when i want, but i would also like the kissing/cuddling and general intimacy from a girl who wants me because she fancies me, not because i book and pay her. I see friends and work colleagues with girlfriends, and meeting new girls all the time, and often think "why doesnt that happen to me", or "will it ever happen to me".

So anyone else out there abit like me, having never had a girlfriend and just punt? I often think i must be the only person in the world not to have had a girlfriend even if it wasnt a long term relationship. Just felt like getting it off my chest, as i cant really talk to friends about it as it would mean telling them what i do as a hobby

This post is a bit like looking in a mirror... coincidentally, I'm also 28 and have never had a girlfriend... so you're definitely not alone. I'm probably a bit worse to be honest, I don't really remember ever asking a girl out and lately I've been getting less and less social... at the moment I don't really go out at all, other than for work, shopping, the odd family thing and punting. I never talk about this sort of thing with anyone... I just tend to make up lies if work colleges, escorts and family ask what I've been up to.

I agree that I do like a lot of the aspects of being single... doing what I want, when I want, sleeping with ridiculously attractive escorts, etc... but it's the simple physical intimacy and companionship that I feel I'm missing most.

I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that it'll never happen for me though... the whole thing feels like such an alien concept, that's so far removed from my reality, that it could never happen for me :(

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I pretty much second what ben82 said, the trouble is with every passing year it just gets more and more difficult and I've got to the point where I've given up. People can say 'you have to keep trying' but when you get to your late 20s and your batting average is zero it's kind of hard to retain optimism.

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It's a few years since I was in a relationship. My thoughts are don't give up, it may happen when you least expect it. I enjoy sex and so at least I'm not missing out on that by visiting a WG, even though I miss out on all the non-sexual bits as it were.

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Im 28 and as yet, ive never had a girlfriend in my life. Ive got friends who are girls, just never had a "girlfriend" to get close to. Think most girls just see me as a friend and nothing more. Main reason tho is i dont have a great deal of confidence (may sound odd seeing as i punt), but also fear rejection. I would rather a girl i fancy walk past me in a pub, than me go up to her and risk her telling me to go away or something similar. The only way i would get close to a girl is if she made the first move, but so far in my life this hasnt happened, nor has a girl shown interest in me.

So my only intimate interaction with a girl is through punting, which i do love doing. But as great as it is, its not the same. I do enjoy being single and like to do what i want, when i want, but i would also like the kissing/cuddling and general intimacy from a girl who wants me because she fancies me, not because i book and pay her. I see friends and work colleagues with girlfriends, and meeting new girls all the time, and often think "why doesnt that happen to me", or "will it ever happen to me".

So anyone else out there abit like me, having never had a girlfriend and just punt? I often think i must be the only person in the world not to have had a girlfriend even if it wasnt a long term relationship. Just felt like getting it off my chest, as i cant really talk to friends about it as it would mean telling them what i do as a hobby

Hello Mark,

Don't worry about being the only guy at 28 whose never had a girlfriend - I'm 28 too & in exactly the same boat as you.

Not sure how things ended up this way. The thing that plays on my mind most is me thinking that OTHERS think there's something wrong with me. You know, like "he's 28 & never had a girlfriend". I try not to worry about it but sometimes I do feel miserable & depressed.

Same as you I think the fear of rejection is something that holds me back, the only times I'm confident in chatting up a girl I fancy is usually 8 pints down the line & honestly not many women find a rat arsed guy attractice :eek:

Sometimes I think back to when I was younger, around 16 & 17, & remember the opportunities I had that I didn't follow up because I was too shy. If only back then I had a fumble with one of those girls things would be completely different now.

Anyway, keep your chin up, enjoy the punting, & you like me will oneday meet that special girl.

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I would say to anyone, the world is a lot smaller now, and going away on holiday you are just that bit more relaxed when it comes to meeting people. So if you have trouble finding a girlfriend, why not try that. Of course be aware of the pitfalls: people trying to take advantage of you because you are foreign and hence more naive in their eyes, especially if they clock that you are singles and looking... But most people are decent wherever you go, and sometimes 'opposites attract': people from different cultures for example. Physically also, what is run of the mill in one country can be seen as special in another.

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Thanks for the replies, glad im not the only one in this situation.

If only i met a girl who made the first moves it would be alot easier for me (this happened to a friend of mine on 2 occasions), but it seems the majority of the time its the guy that does the chasing, which is where i fall over

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Thanks for the replies, glad im not the only one in this situation.

If only i met a girl who made the first moves it would be alot easier for me (this happened to a friend of mine on 2 occasions), but it seems the majority of the time its the guy that does the chasing, which is where i fall over

Please try plentyoffish.com !

Women will ask you out on there!

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Please try plentyoffish.com !

Women will ask you out on there!

Are you kidding? That site was awful, one of my list of online dating 'wish I hadn't bothered' attempts.

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Are you kidding? That site was awful, one of my list of online dating 'wish I hadn't bothered' attempts.

You must have been doing something majorly wrong!

I've been going out on dates at an average of 2 a month for the last year! I'm not having any joy by any other method!

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Im 28 and as yet, ive never had a girlfriend in my life. Ive got friends who are girls, just never had a "girlfriend" to get close to. Think most girls just see me as a friend and nothing more. Main reason tho is i dont have a great deal of confidence (may sound odd seeing as i punt), but also fear rejection. I would rather a girl i fancy walk past me in a pub, than me go up to her and risk her telling me to go away or something similar. The only way i would get close to a girl is if she made the first move, but so far in my life this hasnt happened, nor has a girl shown interest in me.

So my only intimate interaction with a girl is through punting, which i do love doing. But as great as it is, its not the same. I do enjoy being single and like to do what i want, when i want, but i would also like the kissing/cuddling and general intimacy from a girl who wants me because she fancies me, not because i book and pay her. I see friends and work colleagues with girlfriends, and meeting new girls all the time, and often think "why doesnt that happen to me", or "will it ever happen to me".

So anyone else out there abit like me, having never had a girlfriend and just punt? I often think i must be the only person in the world not to have had a girlfriend even if it wasnt a long term relationship. Just felt like getting it off my chest, as i cant really talk to friends about it as it would mean telling them what i do as a hobby

Very honest post,you sound like a very genuine person.

Two key words in here..."FEAR REJECTION"...I think the only way to get over this is to throw yourself in the deep end,it's hard at first but like most things it gets easier in time.I used to be painfully shy and hate putting myself on the spot,now if I see a woman I like I'll ask her for her out there and then,I know I'm gonna get knock backs but I don't mind them at all cos the law of averages say's I'm gonna get some results along the way.Infact the only thing that upsets me now is if I see a good looking woman and I don't ask her out.

Practice it Mark,go in with the mindset that your gonna get a knockback..take it on the chin and move on,a lot of women will be flatterd and tell you thank's but no thank's..and some won't know how to respond.

Let us know how you get on..good luck mate.

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With some blokes it's lack of confidence or some vibe that women just don't warm to. It's difficult, but it can be changed with work... a lot of work.

With others, they have no girlfriends because they just totally despise women. Two or three of the old-time regulars on this site were like that, but they seem to have pissed off, thank God.

If you're one of the latter, there's no hope for you. But I'm assuming you're not or you wouldn't be asking!

Edited by Wireless Telegraphist

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