plastic fantastic

When To Discuss A Colostomy

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I'm 25 years old and unusually for my age group have a colostomy. That's not the problem as I've found working girls that are accepting of it although here's the thing. I wear a rather fetching waistband around my mid-section which hides the pouch during intimate moments. Before I go to see a lady I usually discuss on the phone/email that I have a colostomy just so that we all know what's what. Thing is I get a lot of rejection so it's a numbers game. By weird accident I ended up with a lady who previously had said no via email but when I found myself presented to her she didn't have a problem. She confessed later that because it's hidden it really is not like she imagined and because I'm young all her preconceptions were shattered. It got me thinking, should I really be having this discussion with girls in person rather than by phone/email in advance ? I don't want to appear sneaky or make the lady feel uncomfortable but at the same time I want to 'market' myself better - your opinions would be appreciated

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I'm 25 years old and unusually for my age group have a colostomy. That's not the problem as I've found working girls that are accepting of it although here's the thing. I wear a rather fetching waistband around my mid-section which hides the pouch during intimate moments. Before I go to see a lady I usually discuss on the phone/email that I have a colostomy just so that we all know what's what. Thing is I get a lot of rejection so it's a numbers game. By weird accident I ended up with a lady who previously had said no via email but when I found myself presented to her she didn't have a problem. She confessed later that because it's hidden it really is not like she imagined and because I'm young all her preconceptions were shattered. It got me thinking, should I really be having this discussion with girls in person rather than by phone/email in advance ? I don't want to appear sneaky or make the lady feel uncomfortable but at the same time I want to 'market' myself better - your opinions would be appreciated

I think you really should let the lady know before you book to gauge how comfortable she is. The last thing you want is to turn up and her being upset you didn't pre-warn her then cancelling your booking because she doesn't feel comfortable. I would suggest the same goes for any significant medical condition.

i don't necessarily think you need to market yourself better either. Just be yourself, truthful and respectful - many ladies do see a wide variety of clients.

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I think you really should let the lady know before you book to gauge how comfortable she is. The last thing you want is to turn up and her being upset you didn't pre-warn her then cancelling your booking because she doesn't feel comfortable. I would suggest the same goes for any significant medical condition.

i don't necessarily think you need to market yourself better either. Just be yourself, truthful and respectful - many ladies do see a wide variety of clients.

I agree. About a year ago I saw a fairly young girl just a couple of weeks after major surgery and sporting a very lurid scar right across my stomach. I mentioned it when making the booking in case she was of a squeamish disposition. Actually she had had previous work experience in hospitals and it didn't bother her at all.

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I agree. About a year ago I saw a fairly young girl just a couple of weeks after major surgery and sporting a very lurid scar right across my stomach. I mentioned it when making the booking in case she was of a squeamish disposition. Actually she had had previous work experience in hospitals and it didn't bother her at all.

Was it big and screaming purple! Scars don't seem so bad! Its inevitable to meet scars from operations and accidents when you meet people. Its the unexpected suprises that should have been discussed that annoy me. I say annoy because I sometimes feel I have been tricked or manipulated in some way. Surely manners dictate you let your escort know everything!

As for a colostomy bag ! I would absolutley explain the situation.

suprises are bad!

Edited by Helen Jones

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I agree with the above that yes it should be explained first, you mention in your post phone/email, personaly I think it should be by phone or at least the option to explain by phone, as every situation is different, yours like you say is hidden, if thats explained properly, which I think is easier by phone, it will be easier for ladies to decide.

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yes agreed again, it is best to mention in case a lady might be uncomfortable and also in case, if not aware of the bag, it may get torn or worse and last thing wanting is a mess or pain to yourself if knocked or dislodged around the stoma. I personally don't feel squemish when i see one but it doesn't mean the next lady would feel the same way. Just be truthful and tell the lady upfront, i think you might get a surprise how many might not mind at all. All the best x

Edited by Lady Victoria

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Thanks everybody for your opinions. I'll stick to what I am doing (i.e. discussing with the lady before meeting). I do feel more comfortable doing it that way but I guess I just needed to reassure myself that this is the way forward. I just had a run of rejections so it was making me think that perhaps I need to look if I'm doing something wrong.

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yes agreed again, it is best to mention in case a lady might be uncomfortable and also in case, if not aware of the bag, it may get torn or worse and last thing wanting is a mess or pain to yourself if knocked or dislodged around the stoma. I personally don't feel squemish when i see one but it doesn't mean the next lady would feel the same way. Just be truthful and tell the lady upfront, i think you might get a surprise how many might not mind at all. All the best x

I've had two incidences where this sort of info wasn't given upfront, and it wasn't a problem for me since I've some knowledge/experience from a previous life. However here are my thoughts on disclosure;

If I'd been told about this upfront I'd probably worry about it, and when it came down to it there was no problem. So I'd only really like to know if it's going to affect the client's expectations, or become a technical issue. I think this also covers any sort of medical/disability or general condition that requires any sort of consideration or care. It does however assume a level of sensibility from the client too.

To be 100% safe you need to tell the lady really. Even if she then becomes a worrier!

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Thanks everybody for your opinions. I'll stick to what I am doing (i.e. discussing with the lady before meeting). I do feel more comfortable doing it that way but I guess I just needed to reassure myself that this is the way forward. I just had a run of rejections so it was making me think that perhaps I need to look if I'm doing something wrong.

Can I make a suggestion? When you tell the WG about it mention that you have seen other WGs and (with their permission) use them as a reference. The girls can talk between themselves and most of the anxiety Strawberry is talking about will disappear. A lot of the anxiety and refusal I suspect is due to uncertainty. WGs don't like uncertainty.

Alternatively ask some of the girls you have seen for recommendations. I have discussed with regulars other girls who I would enjoy.

Edited by Thunderstruck

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We had a guy empty his ON our toilet, looked like he had aimed around the hole in the middle.

Yes I would mention it just in case.x

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I'm 25 years old and unusually for my age group have a colostomy. That's not the problem as I've found working girls that are accepting of it although here's the thing. I wear a rather fetching waistband around my mid-section which hides the pouch during intimate moments. Before I go to see a lady I usually discuss on the phone/email that I have a colostomy just so that we all know what's what. Thing is I get a lot of rejection so it's a numbers game. By weird accident I ended up with a lady who previously had said no via email but when I found myself presented to her she didn't have a problem. She confessed later that because it's hidden it really is not like she imagined and because I'm young all her preconceptions were shattered. It got me thinking, should I really be having this discussion with girls in person rather than by phone/email in advance ? I don't want to appear sneaky or make the lady feel uncomfortable but at the same time I want to 'market' myself better - your opinions would be appreciated

Yes as others have said you must be honest from the start.I have a disability,although completely different from your problem.

I E-mail explaining the problem,so as not to put them on the spot,giving time to think about it.Some say so what no problem, some dont answer,but that dosn't mean anything,lots of able bodied guys don't get any answers.

So after 3years of punting i have plenty of choice,its only the bloody stairs that bugger me.

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