peteswordz

Portuguese Brothel

19 posts in this topic

For a slight diversion; as in a previous post I gave a go-to on one of the better clubs on the Peninsular it’s only fair to give you a stay-away on one of the worst.

If you’re on the Algarve maybe by the cab-rank at Loule or calling one to your hotel you might ask the driver to take you to find some meninas. Where you want is Hospitaliat but the cab could pull up in a rural area outside of town in front of what looks like a council house decorated for Xmas. Best policy at this point is to threaten the driver with kneecapping if he doesn’t run you back to town smartish. He won’t be offended, just put you down as a Brit with a bit of nouse. If he’s done a runner & you don’t fancy shanks’s for 10K take your life in your hands & walk round the back. That’s the car park. If there’s any cars in it they’ve probably been dumped. Fire door to your left is the entrance. Toddle through to the delights within.

What confronts you is a light engineering company’s works canteen done up for a social. The walls are light green painted brick with the odd silver paper star drooping. The ceiling if I remember rightly was a refreshing black. The floor is cement. The sticky areas are probably carpet. To your right the length of stained chipboard with odd strips of imitation wood veneer is I believe intended to be the bar. I can recommend the supermarket beer at 5€ the bottle. Better stick with the bottle, don’t trust the glasses. I can recommend the beer because I don’t think there’s anything else. There are some other bottles but the labels are too old & stained to read. Having slaked your thirst turn round & admire the meninas. OK, now open your eyes & look again. Yes, they really are there. Trust me on this, you’ve not been drugged. I think the idea is that you pay these women for sex. Or it could be the other way round. Who knows? Who cares? In the first case it will be too much. In the second it will be too little; however much it is. There they sit on their row of tubular legged stackable chairs awaiting your every whim. I draw your attention to the Russian two from the left. I say Russian because she looks Russian, although the Russian I have in mind is the T34 tank. Look she’s standing up. You can hear thee screech of tortured metal as the chair is relieved of her mass. I don’t think that’s a painters dustsheet she’s wearing. They don’t make them that big. The sequins are a nice touch though. Wow! Look at the dark girl on the end. I don’t think she’s got any teeth.

I bet you’re glad you came.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The back story on the above. It’s not fiction. This place does exist & cab drivers do take you there. It may even be worse than described.

I was staying with a pal who has a villa on the coast. He’d been to Hospitaliat but wasn’t sure where it was & didn’t know what it was called. After driving round the area for an hour without success we opted for parking the car in Loule & getting a cab on the basis that a cabbie’d know.

The cabbie initially did in fact take us to Hospitaliat. Trouble is, the venue looks nothing whatsoever like a club from the outside. Apart from the neon sign on the roof visible for miles it could be a factory building. The only light was coming from a reception area that from the cab looked exactly like factory office entrance. The sign on the roof wasn’t much of a clue to two guys with 10 words of Portuguese between them & unusually for Portugal the cabbie had about the same in English. After shrugging his shoulders at the stupid English he drove his two passengers away from the best club for miles into the night.

He could have taken us to one or other of two alternatives. Maybe he was pissed at my pal’s complaints about Portuguese cabbies. You don’t have to understand the language to hear the tone of voice. Maybe he just had a sense of humour. He took us to this place.

From here on its really my fault. There’s a lot of these small town joints in Spain. Almost every town has them. There’s one not far from where I was living in the Sierra Nevadas. You tend to get a bar, sometimes a pool table, a TV showing the football & a gaggle of half decent girls. The girls live in. They tend to be in obscure locations just outside town but having been down here for a while, I reckon on being able to sniff one out within half an hour of getting to any cuidad. Maybe it’s a talent I share with truffle hounds.

The great thing about them is that they’re for the locals & rely on repeat business unlike the big ones, which especially in the resort towns are more geared up to fleecing punters. They’re genuinely friendly. My local I had a sort of regular girl. Hot little Romanian chica spoke some English. Come in the door & she’d stroll over & attach herself. Get her a drink & she’d hang around all evening if it was quiet. Last year, faced with the prospect of a solitary birthday evening, I gave myself a birthday present., I did a deal & booked the whole cast. Midweek evening with a big match on the box. I think I was the only punter in all night. Florri set up in the room with the big bed & the rest of the girls rotated through in ones & twos. The 18 stone Dominican was a challenge but couldn’t leave her out. Wouldn’t have been polite. Total cost? 300€, drinks on the house. I think that worked out at 100€ for Florri & 40€ a piece for the other 5,. Less of course their split with the club. Ridiculously cheap? It was 300€ more than the club might have made that night. They want my business. Usually when I went in there I wasn’t even charged for my drink. Measure of Anis & ice costs them what? 25 cents.

This is what I thought I was taking my pal into. See the other side of the business. Still haven’t lived it down.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your descriptions made me laugh, Hospitaliat sounds a desperate place, do the locals really use It? :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The back story on the above. It’s not fiction. This place does exist & cab drivers do take you there. It may even be worse than described.

I was staying with a pal who has a villa on the coast. He’d been to Hospitaliat but wasn’t sure where it was & didn’t know what it was called. After driving round the area for an hour without success we opted for parking the car in Loule & getting a cab on the basis that a cabbie’d know.

The cabbie initially did in fact take us to Hospitaliat. Trouble is, the venue looks nothing whatsoever like a club from the outside. Apart from the neon sign on the roof visible for miles it could be a factory building. The only light was coming from a reception area that from the cab looked exactly like factory office entrance. The sign on the roof wasn’t much of a clue to two guys with 10 words of Portuguese between them & unusually for Portugal the cabbie had about the same in English. After shrugging his shoulders at the stupid English he drove his two passengers away from the best club for miles into the night.

He could have taken us to one or other of two alternatives. Maybe he was pissed at my pal’s complaints about Portuguese cabbies. You don’t have to understand the language to hear the tone of voice. Maybe he just had a sense of humour. He took us to this place.

From here on its really my fault. There’s a lot of these small town joints in Spain. Almost every town has them. There’s one not far from where I was living in the Sierra Nevadas. You tend to get a bar, sometimes a pool table, a TV showing the football & a gaggle of half decent girls. The girls live in. They tend to be in obscure locations just outside town but having been down here for a while, I reckon on being able to sniff one out within half an hour of getting to any cuidad. Maybe it’s a talent I share with truffle hounds.

The great thing about them is that they’re for the locals & rely on repeat business unlike the big ones, which especially in the resort towns are more geared up to fleecing punters. They’re genuinely friendly. My local I had a sort of regular girl. Hot little Romanian chica spoke some English. Come in the door & she’d stroll over & attach herself. Get her a drink & she’d hang around all evening if it was quiet. Last year, faced with the prospect of a solitary birthday evening, I gave myself a birthday present., I did a deal & booked the whole cast. Midweek evening with a big match on the box. I think I was the only punter in all night. Florri set up in the room with the big bed & the rest of the girls rotated through in ones & twos. The 18 stone Dominican was a challenge but couldn’t leave her out. Wouldn’t have been polite. Total cost? 300€, drinks on the house. I think that worked out at 100€ for Florri & 40€ a piece for the other 5,. Less of course their split with the club. Ridiculously cheap? It was 300€ more than the club might have made that night. They want my business. Usually when I went in there I wasn’t even charged for my drink. Measure of Anis & ice costs them what? 25 cents.

This is what I thought I was taking my pal into. See the other side of the business. Still haven’t lived it down.

Ok Pete, two of your threads and I'm totally hooked. Whatever your day job, give it up and write! Surely some publisher would fund a warts and all travelogue and dry philosophical reflections on the man woman money triangle. I know I'd buy several copies to give to carefully selected mates! Your posts are funny, insightful and useful. Although I've punted abroad and reported on it I'm never going to get quite so deep into the scene or be able to relate it so well. I'll just have to go armchair punting with you and I couldn't imagine anyone I'd rather do it with!

Actually, I'm sure you know the ISG. His raconteur style is not nearly as good as yours but in terms of experience and variety not to say worldwide coverage I would encourage everybody to have a look at the legendary Wanking's posts.

Daffon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jerboa = "....... do the locals really use It? "

There were indeed two disheveled elderly gentlemen lurking in a corner. They may have been punters. They may have been enticements to the gay trade.

To avoid confusion: Hospitaliat is the good club. The subject of the description was deservedly nameless but I suppose we could run a competition to Christen it. In Portuguese anyone? Prize would of course be a trip round the world with its Russian leading lady.

Daffon = Sorry to show my ignorance but who's IGS. Not a former leader of the Conservative Party I presume? Wanking posts? We used to employ a Wanking Pole. Not a bad carpenter but poor eyesight...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jerboa = "....... do the locals really use It? "

There were indeed two disheveled elderly gentlemen lurking in a corner. They may have been punters. They may have been enticements to the gay trade.

To avoid confusion: Hospitaliat is the good club. The subject of the description was deservedly nameless but I suppose we could run a competition to Christen it. In Portuguese anyone? Prize would of course be a trip round the world with its Russian leading lady.

Daffon = Sorry to show my ignorance but who's IGS. Not a former leader of the Conservative Party I presume? Wanking posts? We used to employ a Wanking Pole. Not a bad carpenter but poor eyesight...

From your description, the Hospitaliat that you mention is called Sanmar. Any local taxi driver will know it by that name. By far the best in the area in terms of VFM and non-threatening atmosphere.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From your description, the Hospitaliat that you mention is called Sanmar.

Sanmar? Sounds like a medical supply company. The neon on the roof does read 'Hospitaliat' doesn't it? Incase I want to give someone a go-to? Name sort of vaguely rings a bell but put the two together & they don't exactly add up to whorehouse. What's 'Hospitaliat'? Similar to the Spanish 'Night Club'?

Place certainly is a cut above the average. The pal scored an absolutely delightful Romanian. Girl next door if you'd seriously cracked it in your choice of property purchase. My tastes tended a tad more exotic in the shape of a slim Cape Verde girl, all silky black skin & wild hair. So good we both went back for seconds the next night.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jerboa = "....... do the locals really use It? "

There were indeed two disheveled elderly gentlemen lurking in a corner. They may have been punters. They may have been enticements to the gay trade.

To avoid confusion: Hospitaliat is the good club. The subject of the description was deservedly nameless but I suppose we could run a competition to Christen it. In Portuguese anyone? Prize would of course be a trip round the world with its Russian leading lady.

Daffon = Sorry to show my ignorance but who's IGS. Not a former leader of the Conservative Party I presume? Wanking posts? We used to employ a Wanking Pole. Not a bad carpenter but poor eyesight...

Sorry, did I say IGS? I meant ISG and assumed a gentleman of your experience and/or enterprise would have come across the International Sex Guide

Daffon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sanmar? Sounds like a medical supply company. The neon on the roof does read 'Hospitaliat' doesn't it? Incase I want to give someone a go-to? Name sort of vaguely rings a bell but put the two together & they don't exactly add up to whorehouse. What's 'Hospitaliat'? Similar to the Spanish 'Night Club'?

Place certainly is a cut above the average. The pal scored an absolutely delightful Romanian. Girl next door if you'd seriously cracked it in your choice of property purchase. My tastes tended a tad more exotic in the shape of a slim Cape Verde girl, all silky black skin & wild hair. So good we both went back for seconds the next night.

I think that "hospitaliat" is not quite correct but something very similar which I think roughly translates to hotel / hostel. Anyway, it sounds like the same place that I know (and the taxi drivers know) as Sanmar. It's up a narrow roadway just off the main road and almost next to the water park in Almancil. Up some steps and there is a small reception desk. Left into the bar where you can have a drink and mingle with an eclectic choice of girls. Once chosen, pay at reception and off to one of the rooms in the 'hotel'.

p.s. I think that we made the same choice of girl!

p.p.s. I also had the misfortune of visiting the other establishment which you described so accurately. Fortunately, we had our own transport so the visit was brief in the extreme.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ianw @ 11:09=

""p.s. I think that we made the same choice of girl!"

And wasn't she gorgeous!!!!!

However just on a sour note: First visit couldn't help but admire & compliment on the negra rump & it was suggested that access would be granted back there for a hefty 50€ supplement. Demurred on the night but on the return match just couldn't resist the temptation being re-advertised. Funds were dispensed, parts were duly lubed up & operations commenced. Now, I'm not exactly a stranger to this particular portal & know how to behave. Was well taught by afficionda g/f. Plenty of caution & gentleness of insertion got about 2" north & all hell broke out. Much oy,oy,oy, pounding of the bed & general ruckus followed by plaintive pleas about oversized objects going places not designed for them. And I'm about average in all dimensions. Little under I often feel. Couldn't help but suspect that either the grasping palm was a little larger than the recipient orifice, so shouldn't have initiated activities in the first place, or that it was a come-on from the start. Wouldn't be the first time that a girl has promised all sorts of activities but failed to put out & wondered if you might have experienced the same?

"p.p.s. I also had the misfortune of visiting the other establishment which you described so accurately. Fortunately, we had our own transport so the visit was brief in the extreme."

Thank god someone believes me!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ianw @ 11:09=

""p.s. I think that we made the same choice of girl!"

And wasn't she gorgeous!!!!!

However just on a sour note: First visit couldn't help but admire & compliment on the negra rump & it was suggested that access would be granted back there for a hefty 50€ supplement. Demurred on the night but on the return match just couldn't resist the temptation being re-advertised. Funds were dispensed, parts were duly lubed up & operations commenced. Now, I'm not exactly a stranger to this particular portal & know how to behave. Was well taught by afficionda g/f. Plenty of caution & gentleness of insertion got about 2" north & all hell broke out. Much oy,oy,oy, pounding of the bed & general ruckus followed by plaintive pleas about oversized objects going places not designed for them. And I'm about average in all dimensions. Little under I often feel. Couldn't help but suspect that either the grasping palm was a little larger than the recipient orifice, so shouldn't have initiated activities in the first place, or that it was a come-on from the start. Wouldn't be the first time that a girl has promised all sorts of activities but failed to put out & wondered if you might have experienced the same?

"p.p.s. I also had the misfortune of visiting the other establishment which you described so accurately. Fortunately, we had our own transport so the visit was brief in the extreme."

Thank god someone believes me!!!!!!

No, I didn't try for that particular activity nor was it advertised. A friend who subsequently enjoyed the experience of this young lady apparently received the invitation and duly obliged without a problem (maybe you are bigger than you think!!). No mention of extra charge. This was back in March this year so, if you've visited since, she may have cottoned-on to the fiscal advantage of this offering or my friend failed to disclose that he had dropped a further contribution for the pleasure. I don't feel that I've ever been ripped off in this place and I must have visited 20 or 30 times. Like everywhere some service providers are better than others and some will try to milk the drink situation or start by insisting that the minimum is an hour. I never buy the girls one of their overpriced drinks but assure them that they will get a good tip if we go to one of the rooms. The girls don't mind this as they get about 7 euros from the inflated drink cost so a 10 or 20 tip is better for them. We were in there so often last time that we were in that area, the owner started buying our drinks for us!

For future reference, I think that the dive that we both had the misfortune to visit is called the Casa Blanca. So, readers, be very careful if a taxi drive suggests a visit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ianw@11:45= "...they get about 7 euros from the inflated drink cost"

Ta kindly for that. Knew it was somewhere around 1/3, 2/3 but didn't know which way the split went. I think the split on the girl is the same figures but the other way round.

See how boring one can get when one's studied economics? Sheesh!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ianw@11:45= "...they get about 7 euros from the inflated drink cost"

Ta kindly for that. Knew it was somewhere around 1/3, 2/3 but didn't know which way the split went. I think the split on the girl is the same figures but the other way round.

See how boring one can get when one's studied economics? Sheesh!

It seems clear that we are talking about the same place. 80 euro's for 30 minutes. 30 goes to the house for 'room rental' and 50 to the girl for associated 'rental'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It seems clear that we are talking about the same place. 80 euro's for 30 minutes. 30 goes to the house for 'room rental' and 50 to the girl for associated 'rental'.

Oh, we're definitely talking about the same place. There's a similar conversation going on via e-mail with an acquaintance lives to the north. Knows Sanmar has heard of the other. Now, he tells me he drinks in a bar the girls go before work. I'm trying to work out what a piece of information like that could be worth:¬P Think the same girl as well. I was there end May so maybe she'd worked out some ploys by then. Thanx for the flattery but I don't think there was a case of dimensional challenge.

The split figures actually came from a club outside Granada. talking with a chica, her first night & was shown the prospectus they'd given her. 35/65 reversing but my Spanish's not up to glomming the directions from a quick glance. I'd sort of presumed the drink split favoured the girl so knowing it breaks the other way's a guide to how much to tip. I've often palmed a 10 in their hand to cut the hustle so looks I was giving a better sweetener than I thought. It's not all that obvious because the drinks themselves are so cheap they don't really factor anywhere.

Incidentally, that prospectus had drinks up to 100€. Be warned people. Be very warned.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Final(?) bit of info' that I can offer on this place. Apparently it's a sackable offence for the girls to meet clients outside of work (some of the girls live on site btw) however, I have managed on 2 occaisions to get a 'phone number for a bit of take-away so to speak. Met for lunch and dropped off near work at about 9 p.m. So, about 8 hours company for 400 euros. Worth a try if you fancy that sort of thing and get along particularly well with one of the girls.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

These clubs are too much hassle, too indiscreet, too hit-and-miss, too expensive, time consuming and squalid.

Local alternatives include this very pleasant twenty-some Brazilian who has an apartment in Faro near the roundabout by the hospital, where she offers an hour with two 'opportunities' for €40. No extras, no expensive drinks, no hanging around with other punters - just make an appointment, turn up, enjoy an unspectacular but very serviceable café-au-lait body, and bid the lady goodbye till next time. Great value for money.

http://www.realezas.com/iuly/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

These clubs are too much hassle, too indiscreet, too hit-and-miss, too expensive, time consuming and squalid.

Local alternatives include this very pleasant twenty-some Brazilian who has an apartment in Faro

My sentiments entirely & probably would have done much the same if I'd been on my own. That's what I do in Spain. With my pal, a little caution is necessary. He's got the ever loving & ever loved wife back in the UK. Man of some reputation. One thing you can say about the clubs, the good ones anyway, is they're a safe environment. Adult version of playschool. Girls get health checks. There's no other agenda apart from separating punters from dosh in the most pleasant way possible. Anonymity. Start playing away in private addresses can open up a whole world of pain for a guy like him. For a start authorities wise. He gets scooped up in some police operation he's a lot of explaining to do & not to them. Second's security. This ain't the UK. Guy turned up dumped minus an ear & a few fingers & toes after getting the wrong side of a bunch of Romanians. We had the villa done whilst we were there by their countrymen. Luckily just lost some valuables. The cop told me the 'modus operandi' can include holding the family hostage whilst a member is taken to the ATM. His suggestion was get a gun. Pal in shock asked what happens if I shoot someone & the reply was on the lines of "If you don't tell me about it I won't be asking." Personally, for me all part of the frisson. Like muggers on London streets although the best I've ever done there was a naff gold chain. But then I do tend to regard mugging as an equal opportunity activity. For pal with a sheltered upbringing visiting unknown women in strange locations could be a whole educational experience.

Thanks for the go-to on the menina & also the site. Sounds peach & economico.

You any good with Portuguese? Spent about a year getting my head round the various Spanish euphemisms appear in ads & turn up in dialogue. You know, equivalents for B3J/OWO, BBW, 'A' Levels etc. A quick precis for Portuguese would be much appreciated by self & no doubt other readers. Not the sort of thing turns up in a pocket Collins.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are right about the Romanians, they are getting to be a bit of a menace. While the Bucharest babes corner the bottom end of the SW market, their fellas get up to serious mischief. However I'm not sure they were responsible for that Scottish guy's regrettable loss of bits of his anatomy - that was a drugs turf war involving Brits among others. And I'll also argue with you about the gun - however big that copper talked, you will not get away with shooting someone in Portugal even in self defence.

Your eminent friend can visit indies like the above in complete security. Only time the boys in uniform get involved with the oldest profession is when the owner of one of those skanky clubs hasn't paid his dues and they burst in and round up the girls to check if they are legally in the country. Even then, they don't mess with the punters. It would be a very bad career move for plod if he pulled in a local politician or businessman, and he's got nothing to gain from keeping a red-necked golf holidayer in the cells for a night.

I'll do that glossary for you right away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

putaboy @ 4:12:10

"Your eminent friend can visit indies like the above in complete security"

Based my caution on a spanish experience. Visited a piso on the back of a web advert. 'Italian' girl was from about 2000km north-west of Milan. Nothing felt 'right'. My alarm bells started ringing so I reversed smartly out the door & away. As I went down the stairs heard a lot of heavy foot falls, the door opening & closing, male voices..... Maybe I've too much imagination. But certainly not for my own good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now