bethom

Do Guys Often Lack Confidence When Punting?

25 posts in this topic

Why do some guys mind if an escort doesn't find them attractive, or reckons that an escort will be turned off or feel offended at seeing a less attractive punter?

I've never heard of an escort turning away a punter for being a munter, or being disrespectful towards him. I think in the end, most WGs realise that money is money, and if a punter is respectful, civil, and non-abusive, then little else matters.

So why do some punters feel that the WG will be offended if he reckons he's not an Adonis?

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From my discussions with escorts it seems very very rare that an escort turns away men who are unattractive, obviously if he is very ugly and 25+ stone in weight then i can understand the WG's turning him away.

There are escorts who are in it for both the money and the fun. Some are only in it for the money who will shag just about anything.

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I am sure that most punters do not even think about this.

Have you carried out a recent survey or something that has promted you to start a thread like this??:blink:

IMO the sort of man who may think like this is just be lacking in confidence and this is not just in the punting arena, but in all aspects of his life.

Life is full of different people, and not everyone is confident.

To punt in the first place requires a certain amount of confidence, and not every man can do it !

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Ive usually had low confidence ever since i was a kid, i had some miraculous confidence boost when i was 20-22 due to certain things happened back then. I just cant approach a girl or spark a conversation or make a witty joke, because i fear rejection in a big way. Im not ugly/fat at all.

Yet ive always had average-high confidence with escorts, probably because i know theres no chance of being turned away. Suppose its one of the reasons why i hope to settle down one day with an escort.

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Ive usually had low confidence ever since i was a kid, i had some miraculous confidence boost when i was 20-22 due to certain things happened back then. I just cant approach a girl or spark a conversation or make a witty joke, because i fear rejection in a big way. Im not ugly/fat at all.

Yet ive always had average-high confidence with escorts, probably because i know theres no chance of being turned away. Suppose its one of the reasons why i hope to settle down one day with an escort.

I can't talk for other ladies and may wish I had not shared this opinion, but for me it's all role play. In my 'real' life I have only ever asked one man out and that led to heartache, so I doubt I would do it again. For years and years I couldn't do eye contact with a man I fancied and I blush if I'm caught looking at someone I fancy.

Then there is the 'escorting me'. She is very confident, she dresses sexy all the time, even when wearing a smart dress, as underneath she has hot lingerie on and sexy red lipstick etc. She makes a point of making eye contact and usually makes the first move etc. In the same way, the person I am with is someone my role play vixen is trying to seduce and her aim is to make him want her desperately. My focus is not on their appearance, but on how much they want me and how hard they are or how much they show their appreciation. Oh and if they are good at oral then who cares what they look like!

I don't consider myself to be very attractive. I was not brought up to believe in my looks as much as my personality and yet I often get compliments in the throws of passion and where I used to think it a bit strange to begin with or that ok, everyone must have a 'type' and I must be just their type, I now think that it is something else. I usually get this comment when I'm on top and looking down on the other person. I think it is the whole situation that becomes attractive. My attitude, the sensation, the attention they are getting, the orgasms, the whole experience and they are not referring to my 'face' at all and in turn this also happens in reverse. I have met men that initially I did not find attractive, but by the end I'd happily see them again and be turned on by the thought of what we did together.

I believe even working girls enjoy the buzz of not knowing who they are meeting next and what the booking might be like. Remember, chemistry doesn't give a hoot what you look like and it's far more enjoyable than an attractive face or six pack. I'd much rather have chemistry with someone and enjoy the experience (of course having both is also welcome).

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I've grown a lot more confident in meeting escorts over the years, but to the extent I do lack confidence it's because due to diabetes I don't get a full erection, so penetrative sex is out. This doesn't bother me - a nice hand or blowjob, a lovely bit of RO, hopefully a snog and a decent massage too, and I'm well happy. But I do always let a lady know when booking about my 'problem', just in case it makes a difference to her. (I also avoid those ladies whose profiles say things like "I liove shagging and the feel of a rock hard cock inside me"!)

Also, I tend not to book girls who might be conventionally considered stunningly gorgeous in terms of looks. This isn't because I think I'm, for want of a better phrase, 'not worthy of them' (not consciously anyway) - I think I'm okay looking for a big bearded bloke - but because I prefer the girl-next-door/milf/gilf type, on the mature side, as I am, and whose profile suggests to me intelligence and an attractive personality.

Edited by Tonyofstoney

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Kate's post reminds me of my favourite lady. She has a slim, very toned, athletic yet curvy figure. Incredibly sexy. But after I got to know her I realised it's all an act. For example, if she has a meal she feels bloated and fat, and starts to become very conscious of her tummy, even though she doesn't have one! I think she also needs to wear something sexy to be sexy. In private she's cut up about her ex cheating on her etc etc. Just like any real person I know. Though it's her confidence when working that I like most about her, she's a woman and her self-esteem isn't what it should be.

As for me, I lack confidence with new people I meet. But escorts for some reason don't worry me. I'm not sure if it's the low chance or rejection or just a realisation that in an hour or two you don't have time to waste on a mini-breakdown. I'm not paying a girl to spend an hour persuading me that it's OK to get undressed and she won't laugh at me if I do!

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I msut admit i was surprised at myself, I had my first punt 5yrs ago I'm now 60, and although there was a tingle the first time I went to a parlour it certainly wasn't nerves.

I'm more comfortable with the older ladies, say 40+, I always think the younger girls are expecting some sort of super-stud whereas the more mature lady knows how to handle a man of my years.

Billpayer

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It's just sometimes people post here that they feel bad for visiting a WG if they are ugly. As I've said, I've never known a WG/escort to turn away a punter for being unattractive.

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It's just sometimes people post here that they feel bad for visiting a WG if they are ugly. As I've said, I've never known a WG/escort to turn away a punter for being unattractive.

I know. Sad, isn't it that (many) people feel this way? But on the other hand, there are guys that feel great for seeing a WG because in reality they tend not to judge you. Or to be accurate, they keep their judgement to themselves. I know I was once briefly in that boat, and I can't describe how much happier a couple of really lovely ladies made me feel at the time :o) I think you girls don't always realise how appreciated some of you are.

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Why do some guys mind if an escort doesn't find them attractive, or reckons that an escort will be turned off or feel offended at seeing a less attractive punter?

I've never heard of an escort turning away a punter for being a munter, or being disrespectful towards him. I think in the end, most WGs realise that money is money, and if a punter is respectful, civil, and non-abusive, then little else matters.

So why do some punters feel that the WG will be offended if he reckons he's not an Adonis?

I am short, fat, old, bald and ugly and have never had a escort mention any of these attributes in over 500 punts.

Confidence is all about yourself buddy

Boz

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You can turn this whole debate around! As a punter with a fair bit of experience, I've seen many beautiful girls, I can have looks, but it isn't always the most physically attractive girls that I see again. Inner beauty can be a far more attractive quality...I would never even consider booking a girl again, if she was not warm and friendly towards me. I'm sure WGs will have the same attitude towards punters and of course being clean helps a lot!

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This has turned into an interesting thread. Thanks to Curvaceous Kate and Tonyofstoney for being so open and honest about their feelings. They bring to mind a couple of conversations I have had with escorts in the last month (both full Max's angels). The first was a very classy and beautiful women. I asked her what it was like to be such a beautiful women (I know its a rather daft question as she has never experienced being an ugly one)and to my surprise she said that she had not considered herself attractive until she was about 20. At school the other girls had bullied her and told her she was ugly.

The second conversation was with a women with film star good looks who said that she sometimes had punters who on seeing her wanted to back out becuase they were intimidated by how good looking she was. She could not understand this as she said they must have looked at her pictures.

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I am very much like the previous posters describe. I was bullied whilst growing up and told that 'gingers are ugly', so many times I didn't realise I had sex appeal until the age of 30. Apparently the most attractive guy at uni fancied me but I shyed away thinking I was out of his league. How stupid.

Anyway when a guy comes to see me I do not judge by looks, I see him as another human being and just make our time enjoyable. I have met men who are classically good-looking, both in private-life as well as professionally. I can say that they are no better lovers, and no sexier than someone who can talk, have a laugh and generally just be nice. I can also say the pleasure I get from a sexual encounter is not directly related to 'hunkiness' of my partner.

I will however say that I am pretty sure that bad punting experiences, as well as timewasting is mostly down to lack of confidence. Many guys cancel or don't show from sheer nerves, guilt or worry. I accept that BUT all it does is make the guy feel worse especially when he is then labelled a 'TW' and barred. There have been occasions when nervy chaps have told me that's why they can't make their appointment, and after a small chat their fears have been alayed - or we've realised it's simply not for them. Either way they have gone away with some pride intact, rather than messing around and ending up feeling worse.

As an escort I'd rather simply know than think "ooh Mr such and such didn't like the way I spoke, or has chosen to mess around for the sake of it". The latter of which can be taken very personally by Escorts.

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I don't consider myself a particularly confident but I've always been pretty confident with escorts, even the very first time I booked one, probably because I've never considered it a big deal. There's a fine line though between confidence and arrogance and I'm sure most ladies would rather a lack of confidence over arrogance. It's when I get to "know" the lady that confidence can be an issue and if something goes wrong it can totally destroy your confidence.

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i feel more relaxed visiting an escort than going out to dinner with family, for example. i have always had quite low self esteem but i have never really been nervous punting. i think it is because i dont know the escort and she knows nothing about me, and i dont have to see her again after i have left

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I am generally fairly shy socially (becoming less so the older I get), however for some reason once I'm with a woman sexually (and even just before we 'become sexually involved', but its obvious its about to happen) I have no shyness whatsoever, all that awkwardness, excessive politeness and hesitancy disappears - this is true in both my personal life and my punting 'life'.

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I have the opposite problem really - I'm very confident to see a WG, get naked and get down to it whether she's a stunner or a more average looking 'girl next door' type.

Where I've always had confidence problems is with 'normal girls' - I'm average looking I'd say and when pulling for real then ugliness DOES come into it a lot more - a WG is unlikely to send you packing if you're very plain looking, but a girl in a pub/club probably will!

If my mrs were to leave me tomorrow and I had to go out and start the whole dating thing again I'd really struggle I think as I've put on some weight and gave a few more wrinkles than I used to 10 years ago, whereas I'm sure that I could continue to punt with confidence for years to come!

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Confidence is such a head game, it doesn't matter whether you're physically attractive or not.

I used to really struggle to approach women when I was younger for fear of getting knocked back. Luckily I was blessed with good looks ( as I realise with hindsight) , so they'd approach me and I nearly always had a nice girlfriend. But I was still plagued by self doubt. I didn't feel "worthy" of them, so I always worried they'd leave me.

As I've grown older, I've learned not to give a stuff. I can quite happily talk to any woman, because I don't really care too much what she says to me. Result = a lot more attention from women, because I talk to them all the time :D

As for WGs - My outlook is as long as I'm sweet-smelling, clean, respectful and gentle (and come with cash of course), I've done what I can. If I'm not to the WG's tastes, then so be it. Nothing to lose sleep over.

@Danny - no, if you'r a guy, looks don't usually have that much to do with it. It's all about inner confidence. As I found, looks can give you a head start, but that's it.

Nowadays, whenever I'm doubtful, I remember this quote by Steve Jobs:

“Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Edited by miaow99

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I always go to a punt with lots of things I want in mind, but then I get to the room, it's all really quiet and I get a bit too nervous to ask for specific things. For example, I wouldn't mind wearing some of their knickers or something but then I chicken out as I fear it's a bit weird / they might find me strange.

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I always go to a punt with lots of things I want in mind, but then I get to the room, it's all really quiet and I get a bit too nervous to ask for specific things. For example, I wouldn't mind wearing some of their knickers or something but then I chicken out as I fear it's a bit weird / they might find me strange.

Same here.

I keep telling myself "they've heard it all before, just ask". But when i'm there i get really shy and don't wanna sound like a weirdo. Same goes for asking for anal, CIM, lapdances, etc

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That is my issue as well :(

I have no issues seeing WG or getting naked in front of them etc.

I just find it incredibly awkard/embarrassing to ask/mention certain acts etc :(

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That is my issue as well :(

I have no issues seeing WG or getting naked in front of them etc.

I just find it incredibly awkard/embarrassing to ask/mention certain acts etc :(

So long as you're polite and you're not asking for something that is already clearly mentioned on her website as being off limits (like anal), then just go ahead and ask, don't be shy. Most ladies who are experienced will be tactful and have heard it all before.

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I don't lack confidence I just feel sorry she has to fuck someone who looks like me. After all I'd prefer it for her to be able to enjoy the experience as much as possible so naturally I'd rather look like Brad Pitt. His face/body and my personality which I'm reasonably happy with.

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“Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Well put. I've been wanting to see an escort who is gorgeous, very busty and more importantly...taller. I'm 5' 7", she's 5' 10". So the combination of looks and build are quite intimidating, but I guess if I go in with the right attitude then it won't be so bad and we'll have a good time together. Plus even if I'm not her type at all then who cares? So I won't be having a whirlwind romance and running away with her anytime soon. It wasn't going to happen anyway. If we hit it off, well that's nice, if not then big deal, the only thing that would be hit hard would be my wallet, and I knew that would be happening anway so...er...what was my point again? Don't worry about your looks or lack of ability. If you're open, light-hearted and even humorous about the situation, and the girl is both friendly and proffesional then you'll be fine. If she's not welcoming then that's her problem. It might take you a while to find a girl you 'click' with, but you still need to put out some energy in order to get some back.

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