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jackdaw

Address. How Late Is Too Late?

21 posts in this topic

Supposed to be meeting a lady from the site we never name tomorrow.

Just booked via site itself for a time she suggested earlier after a brief exchange of e-mails. But... in spite of two polite requests since... have not received an address or mobile number. ( Now I can always understand some one not wanting to give an exact address... but I don't understand how I'm expected to get there on time without a good lead such as full postcode, or a nearby street. Nor do I understand my emails after booking just being ignored... they've been read.)

At what point does "etiquette" permit me to take line "Cancel and move onto plan B"??

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At what point does "etiquette" permit me to take line "Cancel and move onto plan B"??

I'm making the assumption that you did actually make a Booking Request on "that site", rather than an e-mail asking for a booking? Many ladies "down there" don't like to take bookings by e-mail - that way, if you stand them up, or turn out to be a TW, she can't give you "bad feed-back", but if you use their booking system, she can. Not really a bad idea,IMHO. (Equally, unless you use the booking system you can't give her feed-back, or write a FR there, and she might actually want good feedback, and FRs.)

Working from first principles, I'd say that a cancellation inside 12 hours is bad manners, making it much less easy for the lady to resell the time window.

Me, if I were in your USB port, I'd mail her now, as follows:

Dear <nic>,

I do really want to have the pleasure of "meeting" you tomorrow at <time> as I've already placed the booking on this site. Unless, however, you can confirm the booking, and give me a post code to steer to, by 22.00 tonight, Wednesday, I'll have to treat the booking request as being refused, and I'll try to make other arrangements.

regards

J

How say others?

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Does she have a confirmation time or any instruction as to how she proceeds with bookings in her profile?

I will say this about that site - I often read emails from there using my Blackberry, however it can be a pig of a site to negotiate via PDA so sometimes I wait until I can get home to type reponses, especially if it requires specific details. This means sometimes my emails will show as read, but I'm waiting til I've walked/driven/fought my way home sometimes across the country before responding.

This type of situation is one reason I ask for a quick phone call to secure any initial booking, or if I haven't seen you for a while - it enables us both to check we have the correct contact details, our phones can communicate as well as being able to make sure you a post code for the area. I don't like leaving stuff like that 'til the last minute as things can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong if left to such a fine line.

I'm not going to slag the lady concerned off since I know nothing of her circumstances, however as suggested send her a message asking for details by close of play today and have plan B ready to be contacted in the morning(or at least contact tonight asking if you can call her tomorrow since you aren't sure of your schedule yet).

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without a valid phone number you havent got a booking.

I never book until i have a phone number. either on her A-W page or she has emailed me.

quite happy to get the address nearer the time tho.

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I'm making the assumption that you did actually make a Booking Request on "that site", rather than an e-mail asking for a booking? Many ladies "down there" don't like to take bookings by e-mail - that way, if you stand them up, or turn out to be a TW, she can't give you "bad feed-back", but if you use their booking system, she can. Not really a bad idea,IMHO. (Equally, unless you use the booking system you can't give her feed-back, or write a FR there, and she might actually want good feedback, and FRs.)

Working from first principles, I'd say that a cancellation inside 12 hours is bad manners, making it much less easy for the lady to resell the time window.

Me, if I were in your USB port, I'd mail her now, as follows:

Dear <nic>,

I do really want to have the pleasure of "meeting" you tomorrow at <time> as I've already placed the booking on this site. Unless, however, you can confirm the booking, and give me a post code to steer to, by 22.00 tonight, Wednesday, I'll have to treat the booking request as being refused, and I'll try to make other arrangements.

regards

J

How say others?

Sounds fine to me. I, however, never make a booking on the other site without a telephone number. Saves a lot of aggravation.

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A lot of the profiles on the site are fake. Not a genuine girl, and therefore, not a genuine booking. Of course, sometimes the girl can just be very disorganised.

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Thanks for advice. Realize my original posting was slightly misleading. Hope following clarifies a bit.

Strawberry: No details on her page on how she proceeds with booking. Basically we agreed a time and date by initial e-mails. She requested I put in a formal booking and I did. I sent a follow up e-mail at same time asking for an address steer. That was read days ago, but no reply. Sent follow up early today, but again no reply.

I'm not remotely interested in moaning about the lady. I'm far from perfect myself. But I just don't want to set out on a longish journey tomorrow, with no opportunity to work out route beforehand, and a feeling that meeting may never happen. That given the two ignored e-mails... seems like a real possibility. And yes... given way site works lady could file a negative report for a no show. I leave others to judge how reasonable that would be... difficult to get somewhere with no address.

Anyway the "Irgendeiner ploy" seems ideal. I'll use that. Many thanks.

Edited by jackdaw

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I'm not remotely interested in moaning about the lady. I'm far from perfect myself. But I just don't want to set out on a longish journey tomorrow, with no opportunity to work out route beforehand, and a feeling that meeting may never happen. That given the two ignored e-mails... seems like a real possibility. And yes... given way site works lady could file a negative report for a no show. I leave others to judge how reasonable that would be... difficult to get somewhere with no address.

Anyway the "Irgendeiner ploy" seems ideal. I'll use that. Many thanks.

If you don't hear any more, I'd seriously suggest a pre-emptive feedback in unemotional tones - Neutral Feedback - maybe somthing like "Sorry, but without an address or telephone number I was unable to proceed with the booking."

Good Luck!

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If you don't hear any more, I'd seriously suggest a pre-emptive feedback in unemotional tones - Neutral Feedback - maybe somthing like "Sorry, but without an address or telephone number I was unable to proceed with the booking."

Good Luck!

I wouldnt leave home without at least talking to someone and knowing where Im going ( a phone number, a post code )

You have booked and if she really wants you to turn up she'd reply. If you booked through it she can leave bad feedback if you dont turn up so why not leave bad feedback for bad communication for a confirmed booking.

If it was me ( and I have been in this situation before) Id start considering plan B.

And I wouldnt go with Neutral feedback. (Timewasters can be WGs as well as guys and she'll be effectively stealing money from others by doing this so dont stand for it) Id go with bad. And I wouldnt go with Irgendeinres feedback. Say it as it was. "Booked but ignored emails about where to meet. Timewaster."

But saying that she MAY suddelnly pop up on the day with the details. So wait till after time has come (and you saw plan B if need be)

Edited by Overworked

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To my mind a phone call and conversation is essential, especially during school holidays for both parties, too many idiots on the other place of both sexes, (supposedly).

Edited by mike52

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I wouldnt leave home without at least talking to someone and knowing where Im going ( a phone number, a post code )

You have booked and if she really wants you to turn up she'd reply. If you booked through it she can leave bad feedback if you dont turn up so why not leave bad feedback for bad communication for a confirmed booking.

If it was me ( and I have been in this situation before) Id start considering plan B.

And I wouldnt go with Neutral feedback. (Timewasters can be WGs as well as guys and she'll be effectively stealing money from others by doing this so dont stand for it) Id go with bad. And I wouldnt go with Irgendeinres feedback. Say it as it was. "Booked but ignored emails about where to meet. Timewaster."

But saying that she MAY suddelnly pop up on the day with the details. So wait till after time has come (and you saw plan B if need be)

"Suddenly pop up on the day with details" is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. The proposed meet is a fair distance from home (can tell nearest railway station from standing data on page) in an area I don't know well.... and it's an early meeting at 1200 lunch time. Yes I could travel to station, wait for a call and get a taxi out. But I suspect it would be a grand waste of time. (e.g. Booking request though made has not been formally scheduled by her, and no communication since.)

Asked for a mobile number at same as I first asked for location steer. "Silence was the stern reply".

Anyway the Irgendeiner missive was sent... no reply, indeed it hasn't been read.

Anyway... my plan B will be put into action. I'm going into work (Boss said days ago happy for me to work or take day off... so its an option), I gave up a couple of years ago, trying to organize eleventh hour frolics.

As for feedback... probably not worth thinking about at this stage... likelihood is that meeting will never be marked as completed, so will not be an option?? (Not sure how system works.)

Learning points for future? Maybe I should say earlier "without contact by XX/XX/XX I'll treat meeting as not accepted". But that seems a bit officious when I only put in meeting requests for time and dates already agreed by earlier correspondence... and I'm always slightly reluctant to change approach because of a single isolated difficulty.

Edited by jackdaw

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I think this is a problem on both sides that could so easily be sorted and yet continues rather readily I don't understand why people find it so hard to communicate: Although I do understand that men often feel the need to have a plan B for precisely this reason, but I don't understand that if you do go ahead with plan B, why do so many of you not have the respect and politeness to let plan B know you are cancelling?

I do wonder how many times I have been called as a back up plan. Agreed to give up my time, only to be left without a booking and having turned down other more willing 'plan A' clients.

It really is a two way thing boys. I think you should let ladies know if they are the plan B, so she can at least organise herself with something to do should you not go ahead. Many of us have busy lives and with the knowledge can use our time far more affectively.

Just a point :rolleyes:

Edited by kissxkate

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I think this is a problem on both sides that could so easily be sorted and yet continues rather readily I don't understand why people find it so hard to communicate: Although I do understand that men often feel the need to have a plan B for precisely this reason, but I don't understand that if you do go ahead with plan B, why do so many of you not have the respect and politeness to let plan B know you are cancelling?

I do wonder how many times I have been called as a back up plan. Agreed to give up my time, only to be left without a booking and having turned down other more willing 'plan A' clients.

It really is a two way thing boys. I think you should let ladies know if they are the plan B, so she can at least organise herself with something to do should you not go ahead. Many of us have busy lives and with the knowledge can use our time far more affectively.

Just a point :rolleyes:

Kate that's why I suggested he contact B and say he isn't sure how his schedule is going to work out, is it ok to phone on the day and make an appointment if she is still available. So leaves everything open and no harm done.

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Kate that's why I suggested he contact B and say he isn't sure how his schedule is going to work out, is it ok to phone on the day and make an appointment if she is still available. So leaves everything open and no harm done.

Yes that was good advice Strawberry, but I thought I would use the opportunity to make the point. I'm always being told you have to get to the point with our male counterparts and not steer round corners, trying to say what you really want, so thought I would go for it lol.

I hope that hasn't come out sexist? You know what I mean though, the men are from mars and women are from venus theory.

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Strawberry/ Kate

What I wanted was to see a specific person at a specific time and date for a pre-planned session. I'm really not interested in seeing somebody as a last minute stand-in. That just doesn't work for me. I'm happy for my plan B to be to go into work and not punt at all this week.

All I've been anxious to avoid is traveling for no reason, and/ or being unfair to the lady. Having made three efforts to contact her via site (no other option since she's never supplied a phone number) to see if meeting is on... I think I've been fair. I'm going into work.

Jack

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Strawberry/ Kate

What I wanted was to see a specific person at a specific time and date for a pre-planned session. I'm really not interested in seeing somebody as a last minute stand-in. That just doesn't work for me. I'm happy for my plan B to be to go into work and not punt at all this week.

All I've been anxious to avoid is traveling for no reason, and/ or being unfair to the lady. Having made three efforts to contact her via site (no other option since she's never supplied a phone number) to see if meeting is on... I think I've been fair. I'm going into work.

Jack

I think you have been fair too Jack. My comments were not directed at you personally, as much as the situation by product, ie, 'Plan B's' that involve other wgs.

What is her feedback like by the way? Does she have recent feedback? Has she been working long?

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I always ask to be called before 10am on the day of the booking and I give out location then. If it is a morning appointment I ask for a call the evening before.

Did have any negative feedback at all?

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Kate/ Amber... Trust you won't be too worried if I don't reply to your questions about feedback, etc. I'm a pretty cautious guy, and I've seen (in threads like this) a few seemingly innocuous questions answered, and then "suddenly" some mega- astute person work out identity of provider. I really want to avoid that... I've no reason to believe lady acted with any malice a aforethought... so wouldn't want to embarrass her in any way. (I've got no idea why communications stopped... obviously could be all sorts of reasons).

Ladies/ Guys... Thanks for all advice. I wasn't sure what to do when I started thread last night. I really appreciate the prompt assistance. (A fair number have made me think about slight changes to way I'll communicate on other site in future. Sir Irgendeiner's suggestion was particularly helpful. Yes.. maybe it was obvious "common sense"... but I hadn't worked it out for myself. Taking up idea saved me a wasted journey.)

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I like to have a road name before leaving the house, mainly so I can print a map of the local area out and figure out where I am going. It doesnt even have to be the exact road, even one close-by will do. I just dont want to be wandering around looking like a lost foreign tourist. I am also quite happy not to have a house number until that "2 minutes before the meeting" phone call. I would probably not even bother with a booking if I didn't have a phone number as it just sounds "dodgy" to me.

I was once instructed to wait at the nearest tube station and phone from there for final directions. I wasn't worried about that either because the lady had/has a very good reputation, plenty of good feedback and the place was very close from there anyway. I probably would'nt be anywhere near as trusting if that reputation wasn't there.

As a seperate, but related issue. I always send a "are we still good for X-o-clock today?" text on the morning, and I wont even leave the house now unless I have a reply/contact with the lady. Even a "OK" text is fine.

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Kate/ Amber... Trust you won't be too worried if I don't reply to your questions about feedback, etc. I'm a pretty cautious guy, and I've seen (in threads like this) a few seemingly innocuous questions answered, and then "suddenly" some mega- astute person work out identity of provider. I really want to avoid that... I've no reason to believe lady acted with any malice a aforethought... so wouldn't want to embarrass her in any way. (I've got no idea why communications stopped... obviously could be all sorts of reasons).

Ladies/ Guys... Thanks for all advice. I wasn't sure what to do when I started thread last night. I really appreciate the prompt assistance. (A fair number have made me think about slight changes to way I'll communicate on other site in future. Sir Irgendeiner's suggestion was particularly helpful. Yes.. maybe it was obvious "common sense"... but I hadn't worked it out for myself. Taking up idea saved me a wasted journey.)

That mega astute one would be Xenia, and very noble of you but I doubt very much there was such an emergency that she could not type a few words when she read the initial emails, I am a slack tart at times, well most of the time and it is laziness, besides was the punt not today? Did she ever get back to you, I am thinking not if you typed the above this arvo.

S x

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For any advanced bookings I would need to speak to the gentleman on the phone the day before to confirm a booking, and then again a text/call on the morning.

I am happy to give the postcode out so that the gentleman can make sure he knows his travel time/plans well in advance. If you have not spoken to someone I cannot see how it can be a confirmed booking.

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