pbro73

Should I Take A Punt?

19 posts in this topic

I am 37 years old and this is the situation that I find myself in:

I am (very) inexperienced sexually. I have had a few girlfriends but the relationships are usually short and lack any physical intensity. As I get older my lack of experience gets me anxious on the rare occasions that I do get into an intimate situation and I either back away or bottle it because I fear the level of my performance. This bothers me because I do not think that I would get into an intimate physical situation with a girlfriend or potential girlfriend unless I am interested in a relationship with them and a fulfilling sex life is central to that.

I should say that I am happy with all other areas of my life. I am well educated, have a good job, a number of close friends am have travelled fairly extensively, I am a bit of a geek, but no one is perfect. Physically I am not Brad Pitt, but I am not the Elephant Man either.

Anyway, I have for some time been considering that the solution to my lack of sexual experience is to build it up by seeing an escort or escorts.

Ideally I suppose one or two who I can see on a regular basis to broaden my sexual horizons and ensure that I am confident in myself and my knowledge of women. Sure I also need to get my rocks off with something other than my palm.

I suppose my reasoning is that I can have some fun without the fear that if I make a mistake it would jeopardise a prospective relationship. Re-reading that as a justification for considering using an escort seems bizarre. But I wouldn’t even be thinking about this if I was in a relationship and I would hope that my increased confidence and experience would increase my chances of getting the relationship next time I get a chance.

I have perused various agency websites and FPs and it seems to me to be a minefield. Every time I identify and research an escort I like she either disappears or I come across a negative review.

Nevertheless, I have identified about half a dozen girls on a broad “to do” list. But I am still hesitant to take the plunge.

I would be interested to know the following from both experienced punters and girls:

1. Is my situation unusual of a prospective punter?

2. What is the etiquette/procedure the first time I see a girl?

3. Are 1 hour meetings sufficient to do what I want to do? Indeed will this even achieve what I want to do? – i.e. build my sexual confidence, my confidence with attractive women and broaden my experience.

4. How much should I tell the girl about what I am trying to achieve and how much should I tell her about my background/lack of experience.

5. Am I likely to actually find an escort that cares about any of this?

Apologies for the long post, I welcome your comments.

Cheers

Phil

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1. Is my situation unusual of a prospective punter?

2. What is the etiquette/procedure the first time I see a girl?

3. Are 1 hour meetings sufficient to do what I want to do? Indeed will this even achieve what I want to do? – i.e. build my sexual confidence, my confidence with attractive women and broaden my experience.

4. How much should I tell the girl about what I am trying to achieve and how much should I tell her about my background/lack of experience.

5. Am I likely to actually find an escort that cares about any of this?

1. Its not that unusual, even im similar.

2. Depends how long its for, if its for less than 30 minutes its usually a bit of a hurried situation. If its for over an hour or more; you/she opens the door, say your greetings how are you and all that, hand over your money preferably in an envelope if its a large amount of 3+ hours worth. Then anything goes from there, sounds like youre the type who needs a bit of a chat to break the ice before initiating the kisses/sex so have a chat for 10 minutes, offer her/you a drink beforehand.

Then just try to enjoy yourself, flirt a bit, knowing you find her attractive and shes ready for sex there and then, maybe even ask her to wear something like lingerie to help turn you on more, then start kissing and the rest just happens nicely like with a girlfriend, except with this girl she isnt hesitant about anything at all.

3. The longer youre with her the better and more value for money if you can afford it. Overnight bookings are pretty good, but a bit pointless if you get tired a bit quick, as overnights typically start at 7-10pm and finish at 6-8am, but if she isnt part of an agency and she stays a bit longer ie wakes you up with her mouth around your dick then you know she either likes you or wants a really good review for her profile.

4. Dont go into great detail before you meet, there are a lot of time wasting punters out there and WG's get a lot calls/emails with men telling them their life stories. So wait until youre paying for their time before you tell them whatever you feel you need to say.

5. Chances are; not really, there are some though. In my experience anyway, but i tend not to talk much (initially at least) due to the fact as soon as i see her, within 5 minutes i want to be kissing her and taking her clothes off.

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I will start off saying it's not unusual to find yourself in this situation, I was in the exact same boat (probably worse imo since i'd had no close relationships with women at all!)

I'd gotten into a good job (disposable income!) and after such a length of time of frustration & inxeperience with women, I finally decided to take the plunge, I can say any doubts are swept away when you find you can enjoy yourself, and i'd say definitely helps build confidence in the 'real world' as well.

In regards to etiquette, I behave like a gentleman for all my meets, i'm not sure whether it comes across as a little cheesy but i've been complimented on my manner a couple of times. Also, make sure to do your research before meeting someone and make sure that the girl you are thinking of meeting is up for what you want to do, ie some girls in my area won't do kissing, cuddling etc which is what I enjoy most ;) Time, again depends on what you want to do. I find an hour is enough for me, but depends on what you want. May be worth keeping to an hour for the first meet, but it took me more than one meet to build any confidence up.

4 - I'm always making sure the girl will put up with my inexperience/lack of confidence when sending a text or email over (since i always like to ask one or two things beforehand anyway) I don't go into loads of detail, but just mention it briefly incase there are any issues during the meet.

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1. Is my situation unusual of a prospective punter?

2. What is the etiquette/procedure the first time I see a girl?

3. Are 1 hour meetings sufficient to do what I want to do? Indeed will this even achieve what I want to do? – i.e. build my sexual confidence, my confidence with attractive women and broaden my experience.

4. How much should I tell the girl about what I am trying to achieve and how much should I tell her about my background/lack of experience.

5. Am I likely to actually find an escort that cares about any of this?

1. Not unusual, there are quite a few like that around these parts.

2. There isn't much etiquette to be honest, as long as your clean, polite, have fresh breath and the correct money that's all she'll really care about. I don't bother with the envelopes myself... just seems like a waste of an envelope to me and those don't grow on trees.

3. I think 1 hour is about right for your first few meetings... any less would have to be far too rushed and any more and it can be awkward if you find you don't get on that well with the lady. You can always progress to longer meetings later if you get on well.

As to whether this will achieve your aims or not, I'm not really sure. Personally speaking, punting hasn't really improved my confidence with women... but it does sound like for you at least you are getting into relationships and only bailing when it comes to the sexual side so it might work better for you.

One thing to watch out for though is that it is a lot of fun and can become quite addictive. I read a quote from some dude (could have been Freud or similar) that said something like "the only reason we do anything is to get laid"... and I think that's quite true for me, now that I have a regular reliable source of getting laid, I've kind of fallen into the trap of not really doing anything on the civilian relationship side of things. I guess my point is that you have to make sure that you keep up your civilian relationship attempts as well.

4. I agree that you don't need to mention it before the punt but it would be a good idea to mention at the start of the punt. Some of the ladies will make a point of asking what you enjoy/like/want at the start, so that would be an ideal time.

You should try to be brief though, she doesn't need your life story.. maybe something like "I'm not very experienced sexually and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind teaching me how to please women"... you just have to hope she doesn't reply "leave the money on the table and fuck off!" ;):D

5. I can never tell if they actually care but some do at least do a very good job of convincing you that they do... equally some do a very good job of convincing you that they clearly don't give a shit about you at all. Finding the good ones all comes down to the research.

Happy punting!

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I won't add a pointwise answer. I would only tell that your decision to learn sex from an escort is quite correct. But your very reason why you want to learn sex is not really valid from my point of view. It could be just your feeling that you cannot perform fully but you could be normal average performer. Also most girls don't expect thier boyfriend to be a pornstar who is a master in all sorts of sex. In fact your lack of ability to show her that you are a master will make her feel that you are not someone woh sleep around with any girl. It could be a positive for your relation ang both of you can evolve into higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

If you just want to use your poor sex experience as excuse to start punting, start. You don't need any excuse to start punting. There are no rules here. Start from 30min or 1 hr booking as you can afford and finally if you have done till 5-6 parties you would have graduated from the sex class with your masters degree.

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There have been many threads here on similar lines...

I'd look for someone who specialises in GFE - Girlfriend Experience. Don't be afraid to tell the lady you are inexperienced - good/experienced ladies have seen it all before.

I'd personally look at independents and stick to one hour appointments. I'd avoid long/overnight appointments as I think you need to have some rapport/familiarity to really make these work and justify the extra expense.

There may be a very good chance that you'll find a WG who 'cares' or at least pretends very well to care about you - that's what you are paying for.

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I was in the same situation as you when I started, and I have found that it has improved my confidence, both in and outside of the bedroom. I'd also like to think i've picked up one or two new moves ;) As already said, usual etiquette is to arrive clean and fresh and to hand the money over at the start. Also I always think its good manners if it is you who makes sure the appointment doesn't overrun too much, as a good girl will not just chuck you out when the time is up and may even feel uncomfortable asking somebody to leave. I've never personally found 1 hour booking enough, as I like quite a bit of foreplay and to leave absolutely spent, but its a personal thing (longer appointments are also better value if you have found a girl you definetly like) and I can see the arguments for shorter appointments (eg. not clicking with the girl). However whether its long enough to achieve what you want is a question only you can really answer.

I wouldn't go into quite as much detail as you have gone into here, but give the girl the general gist of it, as if she knows what your looking for and your situation it is likely to change her approach to the meeting. And on the point of whether she will care, it depends what you mean by 'care'. Will she care if you are not great in bed? Probably not. However, it shouldn't be impossible to find one who at the very least gives a very good impression of caring about the situation you find yourself in and trying to help out.

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Not only would I say that you should, but I'd go further and say you'd be crazy not to!

The whole experience will be a lot less scary and much more relaxed, then you are probably imagining. Being sexually inexperienced should not be any concern to you and it will not matter to the girl. The simplest thing to do, is let her take the lead, I would not even mention it to her, there's no need.

It might take a few different girls, but you will find someone who can offer you want you are looking for! As has already been mentioned, look for a girl that is offering gfe.

There looks to be many good quality girls on the "other site", working in Peterborough (assuming that's the meaning of pbro)

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Wow. I am humbled by all the replies!!!

The consensus seems to be that I should go ahead and do it. But then again I would be surprised if punters told me that it was not a good idea!

To elaborate on my point 5 I suppose I don't really expect an escort to care about my circumstances. But like any other service industry the best practitioners will surely make some effort to engage with their clients. I guess that this is primarily the difference between a good and a bad escort, depending upon what you want.

I am a little concerned about the idea that Ben82 mentions about becoming addicted to the point where 'civilian' relationships are no longer important. But my budget is not going to allow me to use Escorts services more than - at the most - 3 x every couple of months. Once a month is more realistic. I'd much rather be getting laid twice a week with a regular girlfriend.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply and I welcome further comments.

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The consensus seems to be that I should go ahead and do it. But then again I would be surprised if punters told me that it was not a good idea!

You really dont know what youre missing :)

For years and years i thought id never ever pay for it, thinking its for the lowest of the low type of person. But wow i was so wrong! My regret is that i ever thought that way because the sex is often amazing, and they do (of which many enjoy) what most girlfriends/wives wont do and they are usually quality ladies who do look after themselves - unlike what some people think that they are full of STI's, are physically dirty down there, no morals, are slags etc.

When you meet an escort who genuinely loves sex with strangers who sees the money just as a bonus, those girls are simply the best. Unlike many escorts who do a really good job at pretending they enjoy your company that are mainly doing it for the money - they arnt obvious about it but you can tell sometimes such as in the way they respond to a kiss and other things.

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Phil

before I started punting, I thought about it for several months before deciding to take the plunge. Prior to this, I never ever thought I would 'pay for sex', but never

lambasted anyone who did. However, out of the blue one day, I started to wonder what it would be like to try punting, as although I had been enjoying my freedom as a single guy again, I did miss the sex, and had done for many years in my previous relationship to the point where my Libido was 0. In July, after a holiday in Corfu and spending some 'innocent' time in the company of some lovely 20 somethings on the beaches, I could take it no longer and plucked up the courage to make a 30 minute booking with a local Escort agency. I did not find this so easy to do, but decided I would persevere and do it anyway - you only live once - and my revived Libido was demanding action! :P

TBH My first punt was not brilliant, because I was very nervous [and well out of practice], but the WG was gorgeous and very understanding and offered some wise words of advice which I took on board to my next booking with a different girl a week later. Since, I have never looked back as it suits me and my lifestyle, but I don't think it's necessarily addictive, and its certainly not a hobby that may suit everyone.

Personally, I would recommend you try a 30 minute booking to start but dont expect the earth to move straight away, though it may !

For me, that happened on punt number 2 and has got better every time. !

IME the more relaxed you become, and this comes through experience, the more confident you will feel, and the better the experience will become.

So I would say try it without question, as you will never know what its like for you, until you do ! ;)

Have fun and I hope you enjoy !:D

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Definitely go for it. I was in the same boat as you once - petrified that if I ever got intimate with a girl, my lack of experience would show and I'd make a complete embarrassment of myself. Obviously that wouldn't have been the case, and any girl who would sit and laugh at your inexperience is not a girl worth being with... But that's not the point. It's an idea you have in your head, and it won't go away until you get over it. The easiest way to do it is to have sex with an escort, and I would suggest it is also the best way. She'll have seen all sorts - first-timers, very inexperienced guys, premature ejaculators, guys who can't cum at all, people with strange shaped penises... you name it, she'll have seen it. So you have absolutely nothing to fear by dropping your pants and getting jiggy. For my first couple of punts, I asked them to pretty much teach me everything they could. A few months later, I got intimate with a girl, and she thought I had been "doing it" for years. Now, I might still be rubbish at picking up girls, but I at least know that if I do and we get to the bedroom, I'll give her a pretty good ride - which is probably more than could be said for some guys out there who have never in their life asked a woman how she likes to be touched etc.

As for the addiction thing, don't worry about it - it sounds like you don't intend doing it any more regularly than I do it, and I still crave a proper relationship. If anything, it reminds me what I'm missing - and it's more than just sex.

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Definitely go for it. I was in the same boat as you once - petrified that if I ever got intimate with a girl, my lack of experience would show and I'd make a complete embarrassment of myself. Obviously that wouldn't have been the case, and any girl who would sit and laugh at your inexperience is not a girl worth being with... But that's not the point. It's an idea you have in your head, and it won't go away until you get over it. The easiest way to do it is to have sex with an escort, and I would suggest it is also the best way. She'll have seen all sorts - first-timers, very inexperienced guys, premature ejaculators, guys who can't cum at all, people with strange shaped penises... you name it, she'll have seen it. So you have absolutely nothing to fear by dropping your pants and getting jiggy. For my first couple of punts, I asked them to pretty much teach me everything they could. A few months later, I got intimate with a girl, and she thought I had been "doing it" for years. Now, I might still be rubbish at picking up girls, but I at least know that if I do and we get to the bedroom, I'll give her a pretty good ride - which is probably more than could be said for some guys out there who have never in their life asked a woman how she likes to be touched etc.

As for the addiction thing, don't worry about it - it sounds like you don't intend doing it any more regularly than I do it, and I still crave a proper relationship. If anything, it reminds me what I'm missing - and it's more than just sex.

Yeee Haaaaaa.....:o

Ride em cowboy !!

Beware all you ladies, we have a silver tongued cavalier on here !! :lol: :lol:

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Yea, definitely go for it! Like others have said, let her know you're inexperienced but don't go over the top on it or keep dwelling on it during the meeting.

A good escort will relax you, perhaps you could start with a nice massage to get you used to an intimate touch of a woman, progress via soft sensual kissing (straight into full on French kissing may be a bit too much if you're still getting used to intimacy with a lady) - and then enjoy a nice blow job (I'll never forget my first bj with a WG - she was an expert practioner and it's such a buzz watching a beautiful lady suck you off!)

If you're anything like I was during my early sexual encounters, it might be worth cumming from oral or hand relief first to prolong the actual intercourse otherwise it could be all over in a couple of strokes!

Good luck to you, do the right research and hopefully you'll have a great time!

Edited by DancinDannyD

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Yeee Haaaaaa.....:o

Ride em cowboy !!

Beware all you ladies, we have a silver tongued cavalier on here !! :lol: :lol:

:lol:

Yeah okay, perhaps not the best way of wording it :P

But it's pretty difficult to say that you're nae too shabby at the old sex thing without sounding like a bighead. I dare say most punters on here are in the same boat - after all, when a footballer plays with a better standard of footballer, he becomes a better player. I imagine it's pretty difficult to have sex with professional shaggers without picking up a few tricks along the way that many non-punters are oblivious to!

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4. As others have said, don't go into your life story, but the reason is that the girls might think you're a lonely, psycho axe-murderer. There's no greater turn off than someone you've just met telling you how lonely and crap in bed they are. Don't tell a girl half of what you said above, just say you want to learn a bit more. Say you're not easily offended by criticism and you don't mind a few pointers to help you both enjoy yourselves, and leave it at that.

I'd also caution you against getting a regular girl as you suggest too early i.e. not before the summer. If you haven't had a lot of intimate relations then frankly, having a hot girl shagging your brains out and loving it can be over whelming. It's good to go back and see ladies that you get on well with, a 2nd or 3rd visit is usually even better than the first. But force yourself to keep on seeing new girls and alternate with one or preferably more regulars in case you set your standards too low from inexperience, and in case you get too attached.

Good luck, you're probably about to start a REALLY exciting journey.

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Just wanted to add that from this working girl's perspective, as others have said, yours is not an unusual situation for us. i have met several charming young and not-so-young men who have sorely lacked confidence in their sexual abilities. some of whom have had very little if any experience before. none have told me much about their situation other than "i feel very nervous" or "i'm a bit shy" but while i'm not a mind-reader i am also not daft...

i really like seeing these clients. i know i am good at putting people at ease, and it's a really great feeling afterwards to see them walk out with their heads held high and a big smile on their faces. they also often make the best lovers, funnily enough, precisely because they don't consider themselves any kind of expert and so they do make the effort to please me (rather than some generic woman that they imagine functions exactly as every other woman they've shagged functions). truth is all women are different and men who pay a little bit of attention to the individual woman they are with in that moment are a real treasure.

like most working girls i enjoy sex, and i enjoy making a connection with another human being. i also enjoy talking about sex. i love using sex to help a person feel better about themselves, and i love introducing a person to new pleasures which they were not acquainted with before.

i would agree with others that what you need is a WG who offers GFE, girlfriend experience, and that you don't need to go into great detail about your reasons for visiting her when you make the booking. there's no harm in acknowledging it if you do feel nervous, and if in the afterglow you want to share a bit more that's fine, but really just remember what we are here for and that your situation is not at all unusual in our world! then lie back and enjoy...

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Go for it bro; just make sure you research it well and choose a good one as my first punt was pretty dismal and nearly put me off until I decided to try it one more time, and since then it's been smooth sailing and great fun. There are a few women out there who want your money and then want you out the door as soon as possible, but they seem rare to me, I was just unlucky the first time.

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UPDATE!

Hi Guys and Mary

Thanks for all your comments and advice. I thought I'd let you know where I have got to.

Clearly the very fact that I had posted on here means I was seriously considering using an Escort. I had gone as far as scanning various London Escort agencies to check out the girls and cross referencing with punternet and other review sites. I had selected a handful that I was consdiering. Almost exclusively they were (or claimed to be) young and were not English. They were all extremely attractive and I certainly had the hots for them all based on photos. I realise that these can be misleading but they all had positive reviews too.

I live about 40 miles from London and whilst I work there occassionally I have revised my approach based on some of your commments and have selected and contacted a local independent. Hopefully I will be meeting her next week. She is older, closer to my own age and on her website and reviews comes across as intelligent, witty and good fun. She is also more than a bit sexy! She is aware that I am a first timer. Right now I am looking forward to meeting her. :D I can always go back for the hot young things!!!

Thanks for everything

Phil

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