SecretSquirrel123

Addicted to punting ?

44 posts in this topic

Hello folks,

I'm not new to punting, been at it for nearly 40 years on and off, but I am new to forums like this. I've been reading it for a few weeks and thought I'd join in. It's nice to know that there's other decent people out there who share my hobby. I look forward to chatting here.

Actually, I wish I'd never started. Most punts leave me feeling bad about myself, one way or another. It's an unwholesome addiction of mine which I have been trying to kick for years. I've been reading this forum for a while and using it to support a belief that since there are many of us, I must be 'normal' and my behaviour harmless. However, I'm glad to say that reading so many posts by such a wide range of people has actually helped me see myself much more clearly.

My 'hobby' is no longer acceptable to me. It never was acceptable to the general public was it? I call it a hobby? Jeez, it aint exactly stamp collecting. When you tell a stranger about a hobby they say "Oh really" and prepare to be bored. Tell a stranger about punting and they say "Yeuch!" and prepare to run.

I've been at it for years because of the excitement of the forbidden, the superior feeling that comes from having secrets, and mostly the brief illusion of human connection contained in intimate acts. Unfortunately, they are acts. Both the girl and myself are acting out our parts. Another word for acting is lying and, try as I might to hide that fact from myself, I can no longer do it successfully. During a punt I'm aware that it's all bogus - that it's not what I really want. So there's nothing to gain from doing the same old thing over and over again. Maybe this time I will quit for keeps.

Good luck to you all. I don't post this in order to condemn anyone. Rather, to thank you all in helping me to sort myself out.

Cheers.

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I've split your post away from the "Welcome to newbies" thread because I think yours is a topic worthy of

discussion on it's own. :)

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I've split your post away from the "Welcome to newbies" thread because I think yours is a topic worthy of

discussion on it's own. :)

Thank you.

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I rather the respect your process of analysis and the fact that you have begun to know yourself well enough to decide if it is healthy for you or not. In my mind you shouldn't do things out of habit and if you're not walking away on cloud 9 and feeling good about yourself then it's not working for you.

I find that when people give me their all, then I respond likewise. However, on the same note if the other person is holding back on me, then I just can't reach them in the same way, how ever much I might want to.

There is also some confusion that a lot of men seem to harbour about the 'acting' thing. Yes at the start of a punt an image is being projected by the wg and hopefully one that sets the mood for the rest of the meeting, but this does not mean the whole thing is fake or 'acting'. Perhaps some women do over egg the moaning, or fake cumming because on that occasion it didn't quite hit the spot, but... if you are kissing and you feel that spark then it is likely she is feeling it too. If she gushes or progressively gets wetter and wetter under your touch, then her body is 'really' responding to you too.

My point is, it is a mix of truths and untruths. Sometimes it may be a little orchestrated to try and fulfill your dreams, but often what you are enjoying she is enjoying too and that is REAL!

It quite upsets me at times to think that someone might think I'm just a good 'actress' or that I reacted the same to everyone, as it's just not true and I know that I'm not alone in that. We just wouldn't do it if it was really that tedious that we had to act all the time. Besides... I'd forget my lines!

Edited by kissxkate

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My 'hobby' is no longer acceptable to me. It never was acceptable to the general public was it? I call it a hobby? Jeez, it aint exactly stamp collecting. When you tell a stranger about a hobby they say "Oh really" and prepare to be bored. Tell a stranger about punting and they say "Yeuch!" and prepare to run.

You could say the same about masturbation, and yet everyone (well, every male) does that; we just don't tend to discuss it with others - even our partners.

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Actually, I wish I'd never started. Most punts leave me feeling bad about myself, one way or another. It's an unwholesome addiction of mine which I have been trying to kick for years. I've been reading this forum for a while and using it to support a belief that since there are many of us, I must be 'normal' and my behaviour harmless. However, I'm glad to say that reading so many posts by such a wide range of people has actually helped me see myself much more clearly.

My 'hobby' is no longer acceptable to me. It never was acceptable to the general public was it? I call it a hobby? Jeez, it aint exactly stamp collecting. When you tell a stranger about a hobby they say "Oh really" and prepare to be bored. Tell a stranger about punting and they say "Yeuch!" and prepare to run.

I've been at it for years because of the excitement of the forbidden, the superior feeling that comes from having secrets, and mostly the brief illusion of human connection contained in intimate acts. Unfortunately, they are acts. Both the girl and myself are acting out our parts. Another word for acting is lying and, try as I might to hide that fact from myself, I can no longer do it successfully. During a punt I'm aware that it's all bogus - that it's not what I really want. So there's nothing to gain from doing the same old thing over and over again. Maybe this time I will quit for keeps.

Good luck to you all. I don't post this in order to condemn anyone. Rather, to thank you all in helping me to sort myself out.

Cheers.

I agree that there's indeed a wide cross section of people who post here which probably refelcts society as a whole to a reasonable degree. However if you really do feel bad after most of your punts then that seems a good indicator that this is not for you. You don't mention whether you have had relationships during this time but perhaps after your analysis, you should seek to re-examine your relationships and work out what is best for you.

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My 'hobby' is no longer acceptable to me. It never was acceptable to the general public was it?

Who gives a shit what the public think? There was a time when homosexuality wasn't acceptable and gays stayed in the closet, often with miserable consequences.

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I used to punt for 17 years and throughout that time I felt it was something that I didn't want to carry on doing and tried on several occasions to stop. I had counselling, visits to the psychiatrist etc etc but all to no avail. Support was nigh on impossible to find and even though I knew I was a sex addict getting someone to believe me was even harder. What makes it worse is that their is widespread sympathy for drug addiction/gambling/alcholism but only scorn for sex addicts. 75% will consider suicide and 25% will actually attempt it.

Eventually I got referred for group therapy to one of Britain's experts in this field and I'm very happy to say I've been in recovery now for over 2 years.

I wouldn't want to condemn other punters or the girls at all. I don't wish to moralise either. I just knew it wasn't for me and I couldn't stop.

If you need any information on where to seek help then please PM me.

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To be honest i find punting very psychologically challenging (although a doubt anywhere near as challenging as the girls). I'm atheist and approach life in a fairly gung ho way based on the belief that we're only here once and experience is valuable so when i'm horny i use that 'logic' and go for it.....

afterwards, however, i usually think punting is pretty destructive to both parties and probably slowly erodes their grasp on reality.

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I think I might be "addicted", I certainly don't see myself stopping anytime soon. Fortunatly, I'm able to be repsonsible about it and only spend what I can afford. I nearly always come away buzzing with excitment and having had enjoyed the experience, so I don't see that I have a problem.

Occasionally, I've added up what I've spent and thought what else I could have done with the money, but then, I wouldn't have had the experiences or met the girls that I have and I'm pretty sure I'd be a very miserable person, because of this!

I see punting as similar to drugs and gambling and it is important to approach it in a very responsible manner, else it could ruin you!

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I've been reading this forum for a while and using it to support a belief that since there are many of us, I must be 'normal' and my behaviour harmless. However, I'm glad to say that reading so many posts by such a wide range of people has actually helped me see myself much more clearly.

Paying to have sex with a stranger, especially one that's old enough to be your daughter/grandaughter isn't normal, but don't beat yourself up about it. Two consenting adults can do what they like within reason. If you are addicted I would recommend CGT because it will completely change the way you feel about your life and especially the emotions that make you punt. I would be very happy with yourself, that you have arrived at this crossroads.

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My point is, it is a mix of truths and untruths. Sometimes it may be a little orchestrated to try and fulfill your dreams, but often what you are enjoying she is enjoying too and that is REAL!

Are you saying that you are sexually attracted to every punter you sleep with?

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If you are addicted I would recommend CGT because it will completely change the way you feel about your life and especially the emotions that make you punt.

Sorry if I'm being a little daft and missed something obvious, but what is CGT? The best I could come up with was capital gains tax.

To the OP, everybodys circumstances differ, but if you're free, single and religion free, I don't see why punting would carry any negative psychological baggage. I've been punting on and off for around 12 years and have have no regrets. Of course, if there are circumstances that really do not mix with punting (eg, girlfriends / religion (I guess)), it's an unhealthy combination. When I get into relationships in civiestreet, the punting stops. When I was unemployed for 6 months, the punting stopped. Currently, I'm single and employed, I have no problem with punting whatsoever. I don't go mental (all things in moderation), and I try to punt as a reward for something else (eg, running 3 times a week, passing an exam, or not drinking all week). Spending an hour or two with a beautiful woman is a great incentive for me.

As has been said earlier, forget about what the 'public' think. The public are, on the whole, idiots. Sheep blindly reciting other people arguments. Never thinking for themselves.

Think and live for yourself.

Like Chimpxp said, you only live once. You might as well enjoy it.

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Sorry if I'm being a little daft and missed something obvious, but what is CGT? The best I could come up with was capital gains tax.

Sorry. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

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I would say I was totally addicted and couldn't afford it either, I had a reasonable job (going back maybe 10 years) earning about 20k a year, single, no kids but found myself spending at least £200 a week on punting. It came to an abrubt end when I started to date a WG and it lost all it's appeal to me, she was fine, she enjoyed her job as much as I enjoyed mine ie: she had the monday morning feeling and friday afternoon feeling like I did, it was her job, I'd get texts in the day from her saying 'oh no, 'whoever' is coming for an hour today, he really goes on about his job' and 'if I get asked if I enjoy this job one more time!' and all the usual sorts of gripes u get in any customer service role plus a few more lol. Anyway, the whole thing turned the 'hobby' into something a bit mundane for me and I never punted since!

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Sorry. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

Ah... got it. Agreed.

It's true, for me at least, how you respond to things and how you think about things is tied to how your emotional wellbeing. Sadly, it's very easy to slip into destructive patterns, and when in a depressed rut, it seems far easier to stay there and be miserable about it than to do something about it. Thankfully, it doesn't have to be like that.

Find a way to reset your head. Say FUCK IT to whatever has happened. Accept that you can't change the past. Go for a walk. Accept that you can change the future.

I'm one of the biggest cynics I know, but I found that it is fairly easy to flick a switch in your head to feel better. If you think more positive, you feel more positive.

An ex-girlfriend bought me a copy of "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" when at university. I laughed at a lot of what was in there (like I said, I'm pretty cynical), but on the whole, it did a good job of lifting me out of some dark places.

Edited by SoapyTitWank

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Actually, I wish I'd never started. Most punts leave me feeling bad about myself, one way or another. It's an unwholesome addiction of mine which I have been trying to kick for years. I've been reading this forum for a while and using it to support a belief that since there are many of us, I must be 'normal' and my behaviour harmless. However, I'm glad to say that reading so many posts by such a wide range of people has actually helped me see myself much more clearly.

My 'hobby' is no longer acceptable to me. It never was acceptable to the general public was it? I call it a hobby? Jeez, it aint exactly stamp collecting. When you tell a stranger about a hobby they say "Oh really" and prepare to be bored. Tell a stranger about punting and they say "Yeuch!" and prepare to run.

I've been at it for years because of the excitement of the forbidden, the superior feeling that comes from having secrets, and mostly the brief illusion of human connection contained in intimate acts. Unfortunately, they are acts. Both the girl and myself are acting out our parts. Another word for acting is lying and, try as I might to hide that fact from myself, I can no longer do it successfully. During a punt I'm aware that it's all bogus - that it's not what I really want. So there's nothing to gain from doing the same old thing over and over again. Maybe this time I will quit for keeps.

Good luck to you all. I don't post this in order to condemn anyone. Rather, to thank you all in helping me to sort myself out.

Cheers.

This is an excellent post mostly because it mirrors my own feelings towards punting at this time. What used to offer a real thrill now seems like a threadbare habit that represents something very different from when I first started some years back. For me, it can only ever offer vicarious fulfillment of something deeper and more intimate. Though I have not yet completely given up, punting only few and far between, the time that I do is not far away. For me personally, it is neither psychologically healthy nor will it give me what I now know I am really looking for (which is not the endless satiation of pointless lust). Punting for me, has become a fool's paradise from which I wish to escape.

I rather the respect your process of analysis and the fact that you have begun to know yourself well enough to decide if it is healthy for you or not. In my mind you shouldn't do things out of habit and if you're not walking away on cloud 9 and feeling good about yourself then it's not working for you.

I find that when people give me their all, then I respond likewise. However, on the same note if the other person is holding back on me, then I just can't reach them in the same way, how ever much I might want to.

There is also some confusion that a lot of men seem to harbour about the 'acting' thing. Yes at the start of a punt an image is being projected by the wg and hopefully one that sets the mood for the rest of the meeting, but this does not mean the whole thing is fake or 'acting'. Perhaps some women do over egg the moaning, or fake cumming because on that occasion it didn't quite hit the spot, but... if you are kissing and you feel that spark then it is likely she is feeling it too. If she gushes or progressively gets wetter and wetter under your touch, then her body is 'really' responding to you too.

My point is, it is a mix of truths and untruths. Sometimes it may be a little orchestrated to try and fulfill your dreams, but often what you are enjoying she is enjoying too and that is REAL!

It quite upsets me at times to think that someone might think I'm just a good 'actress' or that I reacted the same to everyone, as it's just not true and I know that I'm not alone in that. We just wouldn't do it if it was really that tedious that we had to act all the time. Besides... I'd forget my lines!

You are stretching the credulity of even the most gullible individual if you expect people to believe you can genuinely feel and be this way with all your clients. To be this way, you need to know them and/or at least be physically attracted to them and although this may be the case with some of your clients, it certainly won't with them all, however keen or polite they are. Therefore, it is an act, nothing more.

You could say the same about masturbation, and yet everyone (well, every male) does that; we just don't tend to discuss it with others - even our partners.

I beg to differ. Masturbation is something to which we can all relate and more widely accepted, whether it is taboo or not, punting isn't.

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This is an excellent post mostly because it mirrors my own feelings towards punting at this time. What used to offer a real thrill now seems like a threadbare habit that represents something very different from when I first started some years back. For me, it can only ever offer vicarious fulfillment of something deeper and more intimate. Though I have not yet completely given up, punting only few and far between, the time that I do is not far away. For me personally, it is neither psychologically healthy nor will it give me what I now know I am really looking for (which is not the endless satiation of pointless lust). Punting for me, has become a fool's paradise from which I wish to escape.

I am at precisely the same point. I'm trying to wean myself off by being more selective, and every time I change my mind or walk away, I feel I've come a step closer to curing the addiction. Most of my punts have been less satisfying than a wank and as time goes on this becomes increasingly so. I am in the fortunate, depending on how one looks at it, position that the money I waste on punting is too little to matter, and I have nothing to save up for as in real terms I have everything I need, and I know that I could never afford a dream home in the Caribbean or a super luxury car (not that I'd want one) however hard I saved. I can afford expensive holiday and business class travel, but in fact I have simple tastes so even that doesn't matter.

The frequency of my punts has decreased in the last year or so, and so has the desire to do it, so I guess there's hope.

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Most of my punts have been less satisfying than a wank

You are either really good at wanking, or your doing it (punting) wrong.

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I rather the respect your process of analysis and the fact that you have begun to know yourself well enough to decide if it is healthy for you or not. In my mind you shouldn't do things out of habit and if you're not walking away on cloud 9 and feeling good about yourself then it's not working for you.

I find that when people give me their all, then I respond likewise. However, on the same note if the other person is holding back on me, then I just can't reach them in the same way, how ever much I might want to.

There is also some confusion that a lot of men seem to harbour about the 'acting' thing. Yes at the start of a punt an image is being projected by the wg and hopefully one that sets the mood for the rest of the meeting, but this does not mean the whole thing is fake or 'acting'. Perhaps some women do over egg the moaning, or fake cumming because on that occasion it didn't quite hit the spot, but... if you are kissing and you feel that spark then it is likely she is feeling it too. If she gushes or progressively gets wetter and wetter under your touch, then her body is 'really' responding to you too.

My point is, it is a mix of truths and untruths. Sometimes it may be a little orchestrated to try and fulfill your dreams, but often what you are enjoying she is enjoying too and that is REAL!

Yes, but as "enjoyable" as "it is" you would never have sex with these guys nor give them the time of the day if they didn't pay you...

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I had mixed feelings about seeing a girl (& her friend) on Friday. First time I've felt bothered afterwards. Stuff like, she or possibly both of them had a good time too (physically and we got on personally too), I wish it was easier to find a great girl great in bed, if they are attraced then it's possible. But would they prefer someone else for some reason even given that.

I'm a little worried I could get addicted, also for the fact it boosts my confidence if we get on.. I'll probably still have mixed feelings from now on. When I started it was just to get experience and gain confidence around attractive girls.. but now I'm past that it's different, after a gap of about 14 months...

I'm intending to go back to the same girl as last week occasionally, not sure if it will be a good idea given all this.

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Are you saying that you are sexually attracted to every punter you sleep with?

I don't understand all the cynicism from everyone (not just Vulvasailor)?

Why does a man have to be hotter than Johnny Depp for a woman to enjoy spending time and having sex with him? I was at a party on Saturday and spent most of it talking to a woman 10 years older than me and physically not my type, but we had the best laugh I've had for weeks. If through some weird set of circumstances (like far too much alcohol and my wife not being sat next to me) we'd ended up in bed, how bad could it be? I wouldn't even have charged her for it :P

It's just a shag. Enjoy it, don't analyse ( :blink: ) it.

Edited by tomdavies

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I don't understand all the cynicism from everyone (not just Vulvasailor)?

Why does a man have to be hotter than Johnny Depp for a woman to enjoy spending time and having sex with him? I was at a party on Saturday and spent most of it talking to a woman 10 years older than me and physically not my type, but we had the best laugh I've had for weeks. If through some weird set of circumstances (like far too much alcohol and my wife not being sat next to me) we'd ended up in bed, how bad could it be? I wouldn't even have charged her for it :P

It's just a shag. Enjoy it, don't analyse ( :blink: ) it.

Good post!

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I don't understand all the cynicism from everyone (not just Vulvasailor)?

Why does a man have to be hotter than Johnny Depp for a woman to enjoy spending time and having sex with him? I was at a party on Saturday and spent most of it talking to a woman 10 years older than me and physically not my type, but we had the best laugh I've had for weeks. If through some weird set of circumstances (like far too much alcohol and my wife not being sat next to me) we'd ended up in bed, how bad could it be? I wouldn't even have charged her for it :P

It's just a shag. Enjoy it, don't analyse ( :blink: ) it.

But don't you organise a punt based on certain criteria. Therefore you are not happy to have sex with just anybody or the nearest available. I just don't believe a woman can enjoy sex irregardless of who turns up. It's not necessarily looks, age or wealth. I don't think that ideal reflects at all what happens in the real world.

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Actually, I wish I'd never started. Most punts leave me feeling bad about myself, one way or another. It's an unwholesome addiction of mine which I have been trying to kick for years. I've been reading this forum for a while and using it to support a belief that since there are many of us, I must be 'normal' and my behaviour harmless. However, I'm glad to say that reading so many posts by such a wide range of people has actually helped me see myself much more clearly.

I can relate to this, and it does make me feel better that others are in a similar situation. I often come out of a punt feeling guilty for a number of reasons - My other half, waste of cash, cash being spent elsewhere better,etc. Unfortunately I don't know If I feel like its a waste of cash because of that reason/my other half or because I haven't really enjoyed it.

When I started punting I visited a parlour in my local (relatively rural) town and I expected much more, didn't stop me going back though (to see other girls). I now prefer indies but at that time (and still now) I had the thrill being at the cash point and thinking in ten minutes im going to be having sex with a complete stranger.

As time has gone on I have been more 'sensible'. I've stopped visiting parlours as never found it to be my scene as much and started using indies with an established reputation. I think in the past year I have come away feeling a lot less guilty because I have actually felt like I enjoyed it, which would indicate most of my guilt previously come from having a poor time. Let's be honest, I think we all feel less guilt when we are on cloud 9 after a great time.

I did say I wanted to stop in the new year but that hasn't happened as yet. Although I have only had one punt and as things go I went back to that parlour (limited options) and actually had a really good time with a girl, not that it will make me change my mind about parlour visits per se.

My contributing more on here in recent times it has chanegd the way I felt. I know it won't be possible for me to just stop but I'm setting myself higher standards (by which I'm not just visiting girls who i think are ok but only girls I think 'damn' to) and Im also considering getting into the tantric massage scene. Whislt no easier on the wallet I think I will feel less guilty and actually enjoy the rub down.

Without wanting to harp on too much longer I think one of the factors when trying to quit will be the level of temptation. There isn't a great deal around my area by way of indies and parlours so it should be easier. Heaven knows what I would be like in a city with more choice!

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