WarmOil

Premature Ejaculation : A Question For The Non-afflicted

40 posts in this topic

My sex life has always been adversely affected by premature ejaculation. I have read the books, researched the issues and read the posts on this forum.

For me, within a minute or so of penetration I feel the sap rising; I am unable to thrust hard and despite my best efforts to control myself I end up coming.

My question is to you lucky gentlemen out there who don't suffer from PE. What are the sensations you feel and how do you overcome the urge to ejaculate.

I must confess that I am envious of men who can fuck hard, and yet remain in control until the lady is satisfied.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No replys so far ? does this mean many men have the problem of PE , or that it's been covered in previous threads ?

Fortunatly I have never had this problem< and as a young man I could last for up to 2 hours if I wanted. Now as I get older I can't control myself as I could before. I think it is all in the mind. Even putting up this post will not help you as you are worrying about it before you have started.

Try this. Pace yourself . Think first what you are going to do on the punt and how you want to finish. e.g. going for a bit of O and onto mish and a little doggy, but you are going to cum in the doggy position. Concentrate all the time that you are going to come in the Doggy position. With calm practice, you then save that position untill last, as you are only going to come in doggy, right ?

This is how I could hold out and come when I am ready for it. Sorry ,I may not be much help with what is a great problem to you.

I do believe it's all in the mind and sqeezing the base of the penis, and trying to think of a game of cricket may distract you but ultimatly it's sexual confidence that you need to develop. I sympathise, as you will be frustrated and missing out on some lomg drawn out orgasms. Good luck,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi WarmOil,

Just wondering if you've looked into Priligy (Dapoxetine), a PE medication. Not cheap, but possibly worth discussing with your doctor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I first started having sex, I couldn't last at all - the sensation you describe sounds very familiar, of having to come & not being able to hold it. I think the thing that helped me most was simply practice; I also realised that if I was going to visit WGs, I shouldn't wait until I was frothing at the mouth, build the punt up in my mind & then be disappointed when it was all over too quickly. Rather, punt more frequently and see a regular lady I was comfortable with. I became more relaxed about sex and consequently started to last longer & enjoy it more. It did take a while for me to realise this, and obviously to punt more often needed more funds - setting a budget can help here ...

Another thing to bear in mind is that visiting a prostitute can be a bit daunting in itself, if you haven't done it that often. You meet a woman for the first time and expect to "perform" just like that. Not likely to make you relax! Visiting a regular can help here, I think - but you're only going to get used to punting by punting, IMHO.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have looked at Priligy on google. I think it can be purchased online but the research doesn't appear conclusive. I may try and buy it via the Internet in the hope that it can provide a solution to my problem.

I long to be able to fuck like a porn star, just once.

Oddly I can control myself during oral sex, but as soon as I penetrate I lose all control and pop almost immediately

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No replys so far ? does this mean many men have the problem of PE , or that it's been covered in previous threads ?

Fortunatly I have never had this problem< and as a young man I could last for up to 2 hours if I wanted. Now as I get older I can't control myself as I could before. I think it is all in the mind. Even putting up this post will not help you as you are worrying about it before you have started.

Try this. Pace yourself . Think first what you are going to do on the punt and how you want to finish. e.g. going for a bit of O and onto mish and a little doggy, but you are going to cum in the doggy position. Concentrate all the time that you are going to come in the Doggy position. With calm practice, you then save that position untill last, as you are only going to come in doggy, right ?

This is how I could hold out and come when I am ready for it. Sorry ,I may not be much help with what is a great problem to you.

I do believe it's all in the mind and sqeezing the base of the penis, and trying to think of a game of cricket may distract you but ultimatly it's sexual confidence that you need to develop. I sympathise, as you will be frustrated and missing out on some lomg drawn out orgasms. Good luck,

I am struggling to describe the sensation the OP is asking about WP. Like you i have never had this problem and completely agree much is in the mind as i am able to control my ejaculations and come multiple times although with diminishing returns.

All i can advise is to see a specialist in this area who may be able to help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WarmOil,

if you can control yourself during oral, then you've already felt the same sensations as the men that last longer during sex. I'm sure you've had a wank and found it hard to come right?

Like you I used to suffer badly with PE, especially when punting. I remember one girl putting the condom on me and asking me to 'pound her hard', and me thinking I wish I could, but with my hair trigger... I did find that a single alcoholic drink would take the edge off. I also found that a hard abdominal workout the night before could really help, the post workout pain would slow things down quite a bit.

Eventually I did learn to control it more without any help. The problem was, if I held off too long, the sensations went away and I started to go flaccid. It was a difficult balancing act and something I didn't enjoy.

I now accept that I simply don't like long drawn out sex sessions. I'd rather have lots of foreplay with oral both ways and some frantic sex at the end.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately I suffer from the opposite affliction, retarded ejaculation. I find it difficult to reach a climax even when very aroused. Sometimes sex can last for many hours until soreness sets in. As you can imagine it makes a punt a very unpredictable affair. Mind you, my previous girlfriends have never complained.

I'd pay good money to suffer with premature ejaculation!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was young I used to cum very quickly within a minute or so but then I was able to cum 3 times in 90 minutes lasting up to 40 minutes the last time, so when visiting escorts would wank in the toilet before 5 minutes before seeing her. If you are a repeater then try that. If not, well the pussy is designed to make us cum, if there was any doubt about it the human race would die out. Also your cock is independent to "you" and has figured out for itself that pussy=cuming (clever thing).

Thrusting is what makes him cum, thrusting is not what makes women cum (little or no clitoral stimulation) so look up CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) or it used to be called something else hmmm escapes me, but I discovered it for myself by accident trying to ovoid cumming long ago. Basically you grind your pubic mound against her clit, the grinding movement is too little to make you cum but will really stimulate her. If you get too close to cumming reduce the movements and increase the pressure, if you find you are losing your erection increase the movement so that you are thrusting a little as well as grinding. This technique works so well many women who can't cum during intercourse will cum is you grind away with enough pressure. Even if you do cum quickly you can easily last for 30 minutes by grinding not thrusting and that is long enough for the woman to cum too.

Also do your PC muscle exercises and practice clamping down to stop orgasm. Main thing RELAX, tension will precipitate orgasm so think of it as massaging her clit with your pubic mound concentrate on your mound not your penis, certainly remove all thought of cumming from your mind.

The grinding helps to reduce the hardness of your cock too which also reduces the chance of cumming.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it just the first time that you ejaculate prematurely?

The first time, i usually come within about 5 minutes of intercourse. But the second time, i seem to be able to go on and on. I end up trying to force it, before time runs out!

So try getting your first orgasm out of the way, then see if you last longer the second time, after you recover.

If you can 'recover' within your appointment time, then you should hopefully last longer the second time, if not then have a wank about an hour before hand. see if that helps. If not, try viagra

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, honesty time guys, how long can you usually run for first time?

I prefer not to to think of something that takes my mind off what I'm doing, since I go to enjoy what (who) I'm doing!

Never tried viagra, but my local chinese (not take-away) provides something that guarantees hardness, when aroused. My view is that it's much easier to last longer if you are hard than semi-hard - and it feels a bloody site better as well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sex life has always been adversely affected by premature ejaculation. I have read the books, researched the issues and read the posts on this forum.

For me, within a minute or so of penetration I feel the sap rising; I am unable to thrust hard and despite my best efforts to control myself I end up coming.

My question is to you lucky gentlemen out there who don't suffer from PE. What are the sensations you feel and how do you overcome the urge to ejaculate.

I must confess that I am envious of men who can fuck hard, and yet remain in control until the lady is satisfied.

As far as our genes are concerned guys who PE actually have a better survival advantage in nature. But this obviously has little use in the cosmetic world and is more of a sexual impediment in the bedroom. However, it really boils down to nothing more than over excitement and can be controlled with the mind and practice. No need to resort to expensive drugs or potions just get into the zone and focus my friend.

Good luck.

Spok.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sex life has always been adversely affected by premature ejaculation. I have read the books, researched the issues and read the posts on this forum.

For me, within a minute or so of penetration I feel the sap rising; I am unable to thrust hard and despite my best efforts to control myself I end up coming.

My question is to you lucky gentlemen out there who don't suffer from PE. What are the sensations you feel and how do you overcome the urge to ejaculate.

I must confess that I am envious of men who can fuck hard, and yet remain in control until the lady is satisfied.

Your PE could be a combination of psychological and physical/biological factors ?

I can offer some advice on the purely physical side of climax control and that is masturbation

Pleasuring yourself while using videos/magazines/your imagination or whatever does it for you, and when you feel the moment of truth arriving, stop, allow the sensations to subside for a little while and then start again, delaying orgasm, repeating this process at least 3 or 4 times, at least a few times a week if possible

Eventually you should start to attain a greater degree of control over your orgasms.

This stop-start technique certainly helped me delay and control orgasm while with a woman, heightening the pleasure for both myself and my partner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you gentlemen for the advice and the sensetivity you have shown for my problem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In line with all the advice above, I've cracked the conundrum of lasting long enough to pleasure my long term partner.

Where I have a problem is when seeing a wg - young, attractive and for the first (and usually last) time - and I want to last long enough to maximise my pleasure, it all goes pear-shaped for the usual reasons - over-excitement, nerves, etc.

I'm coming (very quickly :P ) to the conclusion that sensual massage and HR is the happy compromise that I'll have to accept.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sex life has always been adversely affected by premature ejaculation. I have read the books, researched the issues and read the posts on this forum.

For me, within a minute or so of penetration I feel the sap rising; I am unable to thrust hard and despite my best efforts to control myself I end up coming.

My question is to you lucky gentlemen out there who don't suffer from PE. What are the sensations you feel and how do you overcome the urge to ejaculate.

I must confess that I am envious of men who can fuck hard, and yet remain in control until the lady is satisfied.

Don't worry WarmOil. Most of the guys have that problem but they just won't admit it. I wouldn't either if you would actually know me :-D.

Anyway, on-topic, if I am drunk and really turned on, I ll let my girlfriend stay on top. It helps you keep it on for at least half hour.

Hope that will help you.

Cheers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations on your nom de plume, its been many years since I have heard the name kropotkin, a college friend was an admirer. As to the prob of premature ejaculation, I cannot help there, but good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I suffered from PE for years, but only rarely have the problem now. What helped me the most was Prozac. Google SSRIs and PE & you'll find some info. IMO, it's all about anxiety and tension, and though I didn't feel anxious in general, I was certainly anxious about sexual performance. Seeing escorts can also help - there's less pressure to perform, and an understanding escort can really help your confidence. Finally, viagra or cialis will keep you hard whilst being relaxed, which is a good step towards staying longer. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a very individual thing warmoil. I sometimes cum virtually immediately when entering the vagina, other times i feel like a sex god and can go the whole hour, probaly more, without cumming. However, it is the latter which is more interesting fromn a discussion point of view, as although i feel like a sex god, it will get to the point where suddenely, when she asks me to cum (normally because time is up) even though i am very aroused and hard, i cannot cum on command, and have to withdraw and wank myself to completion, which for me kind of defeats the object, i could have done that in the bathroom!!!

So my basic point is, having great control may not be the best thing if it means you pass the point of cumming when time is running out, so don't get yourself all hung up ove PE. I personally think PE is great if you can then wack another condom on and bang away again, you are bound to last longer after each ejaculation, it's natural. Obviously the only issue for a guy like you really is the dreaded 'cum only once' service, prevalant in half hour bookings. But i would urge you to always ask prior to a booking if it is a cum once service, if so , steer well clear for two reasons:

1) You will feel under pressure and probably explode after 2 minutes, thus resulting in an expensive 2 minutes;

2) More importantly, girls who offer a cum only once service are a waste of time anyway as they are not really interested in your satisfaction, so even if you could control yourself, the chances are your appointment would not be as fulfilling as with some of the really good escorts.

Basically, don't worry about PE, better to PE than struggle to cum, so enjoy your high sex drive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately I suffer from the opposite affliction, retarded ejaculation. I find it difficult to reach a climax even when very aroused. Sometimes sex can last for many hours until soreness sets in. As you can imagine it makes a punt a very unpredictable affair. Mind you, my previous girlfriends have never complained.

I'd pay good money to suffer with premature ejaculation!

My problem too. I am VERY envious of the guys who suffer from P.E. Mind you, I am an old guy so perhaps that is part of the problem. It is still very frustrating though especially if the girl is doing a good job. Are there any other guys out there with the same problem? Have any of you been able to overcome the problem and, if so, how??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In Boots today buying some supplies and I noticed a device that is supposed to help with PE - just over £30, so maybe worth a punt (well, you know what I mean).

Quote from website:

"Boots Pharmaceuticals Delay Device, in conjunction with the Stop, Start and Squeeze (squeezing around the glands of the penis) technique, delays ejaculation and may help to treat premature ejaculation. This is achieved by stimulation of the most sensitive part of the penis, reducing over-sensitivity through a process known as desensitisation.

Has anybody tried one of these (I have a friend who suffers!).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In Boots today buying some supplies and I noticed a device that is supposed to help with PE - just over £30, so maybe worth a punt (well, you know what I mean).

Quote from website:

"Boots Pharmaceuticals Delay Device, in conjunction with the Stop, Start and Squeeze (squeezing around the glands of the penis) technique, delays ejaculation and may help to treat premature ejaculation. This is achieved by stimulation of the most sensitive part of the penis, reducing over-sensitivity through a process known as desensitisation.

Has anybody tried one of these (I have a friend who suffers!).

A couple of possibly pointless contributions to this thread but, I thought, interesting.

First, in terms of evolution/natural selection, what we call premature ejaculation is actually a sign of fitness-for-the-purpose. Historically, when early life was a fight for survival (literally), the ability to plant your seed and move on very quickly before danger arose ensured the survival of your gene pool. Admittedly, the modern man rutting in a parlour isn't likely to be threatened by an oncoming dinosaur (certain maids excepted), but anyway, there is a point -- for what it's worth!

Second, reading the medical literature, it would appear that the premature ejaculation scale runs from 0 minutes (extreme PE is ejaculating prior to insertion or in the first 60 seconds afterwards) up to 7 minutes (with the distribution appearing to be something like a standard bell curve (no irony intended.)) Therefore, if you last 8 minutes then you don't suffer from PE, and the mean PE sufferer lasts around 3 and a half minutes. Around 30% to 33% of the male population apparently suffer from PE (i.e. under 7 minutes).

What I can't help wondering is this: For the other 60% (who don't suffer from PE, and last >7 minutes), what is the average time lasted from the point of insertion? Couldn't readily find anything on this in the literature (not that I looked exhaustively.) Anyone on here want to offer their typical (all things being equal) timespan? My other wonder is that speaking entirely anecdotally to escort friends, they tell me that very, very few of their customers are repeaters, and most last for considerably less time than you'd think looking at porn or Punternet. Anyway, would be interesting to have a sense of what fast, average, and long really were.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's very interesting, thank you.

I find that, the harder I am, the longer I last so, for me at least, if I take something that makes me harder for longer, then I also last much longer, and it's infinitely more enjoyable. The same applies whether it's a blowjob or fcuk.

With a limp dick that doesn't really get that hard, I will struggle to last a few minutes but with my chinese medicine induced supercock, I can switch between the two and last an hour, in fact cum at will (no jokes about Will please), which I naturally try to coincide with the end of my booking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I used to suffer from retarded/delayed ejaculation too. In other words, every time I had sex I was unable to ejaculate. The reason why I've punted so much is because I wanted to cure myself of it and be able to cum during sex, so I kept shagging and shagging till eventually I did. And it's a lot easier to buy sex than get it for free (well for myself anyway).

As for what it feels like when I can't cum, my dick feels numb, I don't feel sexually excited, and I feel nervous. Mainly I'm nervous about whether I'm going to cum or not. It's a bit of a vicious cycle you see, once the pressure is off then all of a sudden I can feel the sexual excitement.

To answer you Trolley, according to wikipedia the average time is 2-4 minutes!! :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some great advice on this thread

But.....forget about lotions and potions and delaying sprays and stuff

1) Viagra and other erectile drugs seem to delay ejaculation ( Old threads on this show many ladies don't like this too much - they say you get guys banging on for yonks)

2) Kegel exercises ...........an absolute must for PE

http://uk.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60/67_love_tip.html]

Good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now