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uncle travelling matt

Shock Of My "punting" Life.

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As I'm out and about this week I've just recently visited a parlor as I had a window in my schedule and I just just passed one. So I'm with the girl and this bell rings, for about 3 seconds. She's into it and does not react right away, then on hearing voices downstairs she tells me to be quiet. Few more voices and footsteps coming up the stairs.

She then says "quick get dressed, we were only having a massage right?!"

At this point I'm thinking "oh fuck I'm in a raid" and there was no way I was going to get dressed fast enough. :o

The footsteps reach the top floor and a woman called out "It's alright". My girl who has less to get dressed back into, left the room and chatted to the woman. She came back and said it's OK now. I tried to finish the punt but I could only get a semi with shock I'd just had. Fair play to the girl she worked with it and did manage HR in the end.

As I left I found out it was a false alarm and one girl just arriving said to thew maid "the cops are outside". Translation: A cop car just drove past. Dozy fucking bint :angry:

Anyway, that's another story for the books. :lol:

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hahaha this really made me laugh. All i could imagine was Steve Coogan's character from parole officer being in that situation :lol:

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My state of rapid partial redressing was a condom half pulled off, my trousers mostly on and my underwear stuffed in my pocket. :lol:

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My state of rapid partial redressing was a condom half pulled off, my trousers mostly on and my underwear stuffed in my pocket. :lol:

Sounds familiar. A number of times over the years i have had to dress in a great hurry due to a disturbance, another punter continually banging on the WGs door putting me right off or a loud flatmate returning home. Once this has occured it spoils my vibe so i just leave. The feeling of panic ensures i cant relax again.

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Reminds me of a situation I was in some years ago. Visted an indie working from home. A few little things didn't add up but I didn't twig and we got down to it when suddenly her phone rang and she shrieked "it's my boyfriend - he's outside the front door". While I'm running round the room getting dressedlike a thing demented, she's telling him she's down the shops and will meet him there in 5 minutes.

I think you can probably see where this is going... whilst I'm thinking, so this is how it's all going to end, never mind, I've had a good innings, she's pushing me out of the door once "the coast is clear" and once I get back to my car and have chance to calm down I realise I've been in there 10 mins tops and another well - rehearsed scam has been succesfully completed.

It was a house on a council estate south of Brum, about 10 years ago,if anyone else fell for it!

:angry:

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Sounds familiar. A number of times over the years i have had to dress in a great hurry due to a disturbance, another punter continually banging on the WGs door putting me right off or a loud flatmate returning home. Once this has occured it spoils my vibe so i just leave. The feeling of panic ensures i cant relax again.

Blimey Smiths, I'd got you down as the "so laid back as to be horizontal" types... or am I getting confused with your favorite position for shenanigans?

Most unpleasant shock I've had was on a punt a couple of months ago when I finally got hard enough to get the condom on comfortably. Now I was going through a period where this was a major cause for celebration... so normally I'd have been "in like Flynn before you could say Jack Robinson".

But I'm easily distracted... and fortunately (this was indeed lucky) the lady had superb breasts... so I ended up pumping away between the twin towers. With the inevitable result... except I became aware that I'd coated the lady's hooters with the expected white fluid. Yep.. the condom had burst... I was mortified, thinking what might have been... and what the lady might well think about me. Her reaction... her trust that it was indeed an accident... went a long way to making me feel a bit better about the incident.

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Reminds me of a situation I was in some years ago. Visted an indie working from home. A few little things didn't add up but I didn't twig and we got down to it when suddenly her phone rang and she shrieked "it's my boyfriend - he's outside the front door". While I'm running round the room getting dressedlike a thing demented, she's telling him she's down the shops and will meet him there in 5 minutes.

I think you can probably see where this is going... whilst I'm thinking, so this is how it's all going to end, never mind, I've had a good innings, she's pushing me out of the door once "the coast is clear" and once I get back to my car and have chance to calm down I realise I've been in there 10 mins tops and another well - rehearsed scam has been succesfully completed.

It was a house on a council estate south of Brum, about 10 years ago,if anyone else fell for it!

:angry:

Oh the old 'my bf's at the door routine' It's never happened to me, but I'd be In two minds to ring him back and tell him I'm screwing his gf and could he come back In 30mins, or ask for my money back.

If the wg didn't give back your money, and you know dam well It's a scam, do you think It would be fair to smash the flat to bits, or Is that OTT?

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To be honest if you we're caught in a scam it would be best to cut your losses and bail out. Bad punts make you appreciate the good ones even more. Don't be complacent in thinking that all your research is infallible.

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Fortunately the odd "scam" or really rip - off encounters have been few and far between, considering nearly 24 years not out punting regularly. Whilst I didn't on this occasion, I have been known to exact my own brand of retribution - taxis, pizzas, takeaways phoned for - even a mail drop to neighbours in the dead of night - never felt the need to smash anything up.Revenge is a dish.........

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Blimey Smiths, I'd got you down as the "so laid back as to be horizontal" types... or am I getting confused with your favorite position for shenanigans?

Most unpleasant shock I've had was on a punt a couple of months ago when I finally got hard enough to get the condom on comfortably. Now I was going through a period where this was a major cause for celebration... so normally I'd have been "in like Flynn before you could say Jack Robinson".

But I'm easily distracted... and fortunately (this was indeed lucky) the lady had superb breasts... so I ended up pumping away between the twin towers. With the inevitable result... except I became aware that I'd coated the lady's hooters with the expected white fluid. Yep.. the condom had burst... I was mortified, thinking what might have been... and what the lady might well think about me. Her reaction... her trust that it was indeed an accident... went a long way to making me feel a bit better about the incident.

Laid back but on my guard if the WG is a newbie to me and i hear other people, if i have punted with her before i am more relaxed.

Me being horizontal is the ideal as much as possible Jackdaw, i dont want to overdo things, although after leaving some punts i am completely cream crackered, but feeling good. :D

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Fortunately the odd "scam" or really rip - off encounters have been few and far between, considering nearly 24 years not out punting regularly. Whilst I didn't on this occasion, I have been known to exact my own brand of retribution - taxis, pizzas, takeaways phoned for - even a mail drop to neighbours in the dead of night - never felt the need to smash anything up.Revenge is a dish.........

So you think it's right that you bring in third parties for your personal disputes, wasting other peoples time for you own ends, remember the taxi, pizza and takaway are only trying to make there living as well.

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Holy crap, another reason for me to stay away from parlours!

I did have a similar surprise when I forgot to put on the 'do not disturb' sign in a posh hotel and the chamber maid walked in to turn my bed down just as I was giving my 'secretary' some 'dicktation' over the leather desk... :unsure:

It could have been something out of a Robin Askwith film, but she just screamed a bit and ran out rather than joining in! :P

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I just think it's appalling that someone might walk in on you!! Although I suppose it's different at a Parlour I guess when there are other people around.

I'm an Indie and never ever have anyone else in my Flat with me when I'm seeing a Client...mind you, since I live in a Studio Flat the other person would have to be under the Bed or something in order to hide!! :lol::lol::lol:

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Got scammed years ago in north shields the boyfriend actually walked in whilst i was in a state of undress in spare bedroom . I shite myself (should of wiped it on beige floor ) i appeared minus my work boots and she made some excuse i was friend of her dads that had come to see about some tv ?? Cut my losses and ran . Phoned her back and she apologised but still think it was a scam . Pity she was gorge and may have made alot of money off me in future visits

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I just think it's appalling that someone might walk in on you!! Although I suppose it's different at a Parlour I guess when there are other people around.

I'm an Indie and never ever have anyone else in my Flat with me when I'm seeing a Client...mind you, since I live in a Studio Flat the other person would have to be under the Bed or something in order to hide!! :lol::lol::lol:

Some WGs havent a clue and dont consider that people coming and going might put punters off. Most do it innocently but if they are a newbie to me it is always a concern. At Parlours or Parties unless its a raid of course i know punters will be coming and going so it isnt a problem. :)

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Oh the old 'my bf's at the door routine' It's never happened to me, but I'd be In two minds to ring him back and tell him I'm screwing his gf and could he come back In 30mins, or ask for my money back.

If the wg didn't give back your money, and you know dam well It's a scam, do you think It would be fair to smash the flat to bits, or Is that OTT?

I think it would be rather over the top, and whilst you were venting she would be dialing 999 and putting the whole episode on loudspeaker. I dont agree with scams but niether do I agree with violence.x

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I think it would be rather over the top, and whilst you were venting she would be dialing 999 and putting the whole episode on loudspeaker. I dont agree with scams but niether do I agree with violence.x

Ok but can I send the Jerhovah Witnesses around? :)

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Ok but can I send the Jerhovah Witnesses around? :)

You could pop some jerboa witnesses through the letterbox :P

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I had a punt recently where the WG warned me beforehand she was expecting a delivery. About 20 minutes in she was riding me cowgirl style clad only in her fishnet stockings. The doorbell went, she hopped off, put on a satin dressing gown then went down and signed for the delivery.

Luckily it as fairly early into the intercourse part of the punt so I was not near coming - if it had been five minutes later and I had been about to come I would have been really p*ssed off. To be fair to the girl she gave me some great oral on her return to get me hard again and was ok when the punt ran ten minutes over the scheduled time.

I am not sure what the delivery guy thought though seeing her dressed like that (the dressing gown barely reached below her bum).

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To be honest if you we're caught in a scam it would be best to cut your losses and bail out. Bad punts make you appreciate the good ones even more. Don't be complacent in thinking that all your research is infallible.

Scams are one of the risks of the hobby.

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