Helen Jones

Orgasmic Maneuvers In The Dark.

30 posts in this topic

Some men like the light on, and I'd guess although I can't be sure, I'd guess most Women - including myself, prefer the lights off ! No distractions, smudged make-up and disheveled hair don't matter and no fear of frightening your victim by coming up from the sheets looking like Ronald McDonald after a happy slapping. (and that's even when with the partner of choice so its not an aesthetic issue ! :rolleyes:)

Now I think about it I'm not sure Ive ever reached a crescendo of pleasure in a floodlit environment!

Doe's not turning the light off stoke an already fertile sexual imagination for a chap and enhance the occasion?

Lots of men tell me they like something left to the imagination eye candy wise, including lingerie pictures rather than full nudity and many say just a flash of stocking top as a lady enters or leaves a car is more erotic than the sight of a naked woman doing the same. Yet so many want to see what they're doing in full lux glory.

So why is it so many men seem to want the lights on? Are they scared of being in the dark with a fully grown woman :P or do they have a hard wired need to see they're pleasing their female?

Edited by Helen Jones

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some men like the light on, and I'd guess although I can't be sure, I'd guess most Women - including myself, prefer the lights off ! No distractions, smudged make-up and disheveled hair don't matter and no fear of frightening your victim by coming up from the sheets looking like Ronald McDonald after a happy slapping. (and that's even when with the partner of choice so its not an aesthetic issue ! :rolleyes:)

Now I think about it I'm not sure Ive ever reached a crescendo of pleasure in a floodlit environment!

Doe's not turning the light off stoke an already fertile sexual imagination for a chap and enhance the occasion?

Lots of men tell me they like something left to the imagination eye candy wise, including lingerie pictures rather than full nudity and many say just a flash of stocking top as a lady enters or leaves a car is more erotic than the sight of a naked woman doing the same. Yet so many want to see what they're doing in full lux glory.

So why is it so many men seem to want the lights on? Are they scared of being in the dark with a fully grown woman :P or do they have a hard wired need to see they're pleasing their female?

Tremendous thread title Helen! And I enjoyed your analogy of Ronald McDonald too. If Jeremy Clarkson reads this board he should be worried about staying the master of the metaphor.

On to your question: As has been said many, many times before, men really appreciate the visual sense, which is why we enjoy porn so much, and (personally) enjoy watching ourselves going in and out during doggy style, for example. This is why women spend so much time and effort and money making themselves look good for us. We also later indulge our visual senses by reliving our experiences and remembering every detail, and what we saw. This doesn't mean that there's no place for foreplay. As you correctly mentioned, those teasing things, like the "flash of stockings", are a very important part of heightening our anticipation.

I know that we aren't all the same, for example I know that Smiths loves to have a woman naked as soon as possible, whereas I would personally rather have clothes on for longer, and removed layer by layer as part of foreplay. For example I enjoy having knickers kept on, but teasingly pulled aside during foreplay and sex. I think it reminds me of my early experiences of heavy petting as a teenager, and that evokes some awesome and strong feelings for me.

Personally I get nothing out of having sex in the dark.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally prefer a little light just simply so i can see what i'm doing . My wife prefers complete darkness she 'claims' i've a silly fuck face ??yet i also think its lack of confidence in her own body. Non of which i'd change .Also yes a flash of stocking top or a nice cleavage switches the sexual brain into over drive .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So why is it so many men seem to want the lights on? Are they scared of being in the dark with a fully grown woman :P or do they have a hard wired need to see they're pleasing their female?

I have a theory about this. I think they are visual creatures as already said, but I also think they find us attractive in disarray! Especially if they are doing the disarraying! GuYS are not nearly as bothered about hair etc, as we are.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tremendous thread title Helen! And I enjoyed your analogy of Ronald McDonald too. If Jeremy Clarkson reads this board he should be worried about staying the master of the metaphor.

On to your question: As has been said many, many times before, men really appreciate the visual sense, which is why we enjoy porn so much, and (personally) enjoy watching ourselves going in and out during doggy style, for example. This is why women spend so much time and effort and money making themselves look good for us. We also later indulge our visual senses by reliving our experiences and remembering every detail, and what we saw. This doesn't mean that there's no place for foreplay. As you correctly mentioned, those teasing things, like the "flash of stockings", are a very important part of heightening our anticipation.

I know that we aren't all the same, for example I know that Smiths loves to have a woman naked as soon as possible, whereas I would personally rather have clothes on for longer, and removed layer by layer as part of foreplay. For example I enjoy having knickers kept on, but teasingly pulled aside during foreplay and sex. I think it reminds me of my early experiences of heavy petting as a teenager, and that evokes some awesome and strong feelings for me.

Personally I get nothing out of having sex in the dark.

I never have sex in the dark nowadays, for me there is no point to it, i want to admire the ladies naked form and like eye contact when possible. A 40 watt table lamp type of light is ideal, not really bright but enough to be able to see her clearly.

I wouldnt punt in the dark and apart from when the electrics went at a party once i very rarely have in recent years. The visual element is absolutely essential for me to enjoy the experience. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never have sex in the dark nowadays, for me there is no point to it, i want to admire the ladies naked form and like eye contact when possible. A 40 watt table lamp type of light is ideal, not really bright but enough to be able to see her clearly.

I wouldnt punt in the dark and apart from when the electrics went at a party once i very rarely have in recent years. The visual element is absolutely essential for me to enjoy the experience. :)

Hi all, new to the board (but not to the site), please be gentle with me :)

I agree the visual element is essential. Soft light (not glaring fluourescent) or candlelight is my favourite, but I love to see what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with! When having sex at home with the wife (pretty seldom hence my entrance into this delightful hobby!), yes it's in the dark, which is purely to do with body confidence on her part (I'd prefer it on as I still find her very attractive). But what's the point in booking a gorgeous escort and turning the lights off?? :confused:

I had my 5th and best punt with a fantastic, gorgeous young girl the other day (first field report awaiting approval) - I can't imagine anyone not wanting to look at her during the whole experience...

Perhaps another aspect is familiarity? Even if Mrs Velcro and I had the lights on, neither would see anything new and with the lights off we know exactly what we're doing and how each other behaves in bed, etc. With a new partner (including escorts) I'd wager it's not that easy to do any sort of sexual activity in the dark when you know nothing about the person you're with. All sorts of awkward fumbling would ensue I'm sure! lol. For example, whilst giving a girl oral for the first time surely the best way to see if she's enjoying it is looking at her face (although I conceed noises can give a good idea). I stand to be corrected though, as thinking about it I've never tried sex in the dark with a new partner! I've only ever had lights out sex with the wife. Thoughts, anyone?

Just as an aside, as I said in the newbies thread, it's thanks to this site that I discovered this hobby and all have my heartfelt thanks (especially Galahad). I am sure to become a more regular punter if I keep having experiences like my 2 or 3 recent ones... :)

VelcroHead

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I suppose it's in a similar vein to punts generally taking place on top of, rather than under, the covers. I can only remember one punt that was under the covers and that was when the heating was broken. Mind you that was kind of erotic in it's own sort of way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sex with the wife, lights off now, helps me imagine I'm with someone else. Sex with a WG, well I only ever punt in the day. I do want to see what I've paid for, that includes not going under a duvet unless it's cold.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lights on every time - always want to be able to see the lovely lady I'm with

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, a bit of light is important as I like to see whoever I am with, and to enjoy the sight of her body. It doesn't have to be broad daylight but certainly light enough to see what is occurring, so a muted bedside light under a chair or downlighters right down low on the dimmer, or even a few candles. Some women are like this to and have background light in their boudoir - one lady in the Borough springs to mind and another in Sevenoaks - provided very artily via various media.

I have to admit though, that I am quite happy having no light on if my wife is the other person involved since, as has been said,`a little fantasy goes a long way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all, new to the board (but not to the site), please be gentle with me :)

I agree the visual element is essential. Soft light (not glaring fluourescent) or candlelight is my favourite, but I love to see what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with! When having sex at home with the wife (pretty seldom hence my entrance into this delightful hobby!), yes it's in the dark, which is purely to do with body confidence on her part (I'd prefer it on as I still find her very attractive). But what's the point in booking a gorgeous escort and turning the lights off?? :confused:

I had my 5th and best punt with a fantastic, gorgeous young girl the other day (first field report awaiting approval) - I can't imagine anyone not wanting to look at her during the whole experience...

Perhaps another aspect is familiarity? Even if Mrs Velcro and I had the lights on, neither would see anything new and with the lights off we know exactly what we're doing and how each other behaves in bed, etc. With a new partner (including escorts) I'd wager it's not that easy to do any sort of sexual activity in the dark when you know nothing about the person you're with. All sorts of awkward fumbling would ensue I'm sure! lol. For example, whilst giving a girl oral for the first time surely the best way to see if she's enjoying it is looking at her face (although I conceed noises can give a good idea). I stand to be corrected though, as thinking about it I've never tried sex in the dark with a new partner! I've only ever had lights out sex with the wife. Thoughts, anyone?

Just as an aside, as I said in the newbies thread, it's thanks to this site that I discovered this hobby and all have my heartfelt thanks (especially Galahad). I am sure to become a more regular punter if I keep having experiences like my 2 or 3 recent ones... :)

VelcroHead

Welcome to the board. :) Interesting post, i wouldnt bother if it was lights out, a wank on my own would be more fun but i understand some guys have partners who insist on it. Good luck with your future punting exploits VelcroHead. :)

Edited by smiths

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the board. :) Interesting post, i wouldnt bother if it was lights out, a wank on my own would be more fun but i understand some guys have partners who insist on it. Good luck with your future punting exploits VelcroHead. :)

Thank you smiths. An honour to be welcomed by such a veteran of the board, and of the hobby. :D

Not sure I agree with a wank being better - I'll take a shag in the dark anyday over my hand!

Sex with the wife, lights off now, helps me imagine I'm with someone else.

I have to admit though, that I am quite happy having no light on if my wife is the other person involved since, as has been said,`a little fantasy goes a long way.

I must admit I don't generally fantasize about others when having sex with the wife (maybe occasionally, but not generally as I still fancy the wife), but these comments to lead me to consider that maybe SHE DOES!! :eek: Hence her always wanting the lights out as it makes it easier for her to imagine Tom Cruise... :mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a theory about this. I think they are visual creatures as already said, but I also think they find us attractive in disarray! Especially if they are doing the disarraying! GuYS are not nearly as bothered about hair etc, as we are.

Very astute Kizzie! I certainly LIKE a bit of dishevelled look about a woman's hair in particular. It's wild and sexy. And I'm not sure perfectly applied make up does that much, so having slightly smudged make up isn't a big deal. Although I do have a clown phobia, so anyone genuinely looking like Ronald McDonald I'd have to politely walk away from before handing over any cash.

Welcome to VelcroHead! I'm with you, I like a bit of soft mood lighting the best, the winters dark evenings are perfect for setting the mood with some candles. I can't punt late enough to get that effect in the summer :(

Edited by tomdavies

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always like the light on. The reason? When my wife let me have sex (a long time ago!!) she ALWAYS insisted it took place in the dark. Hence now I am paying for sex I like the light on. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some men like the light on, and I'd guess although I can't be sure, I'd guess most Women - including myself, prefer the lights off ! ......................................

Now I think about it I'm not sure Ive ever reached a crescendo of pleasure in a floodlit environment!

All my punts take place during the hours of daylight. Sure, some ladies have dark curtains in their boudoirs, but often not in my experience.

Spent a pleasant few hours with a lady today with the blind up looking out over rolling countryside and the sun blazing in - and there was certainly a crescendo! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(Sorry, couldn't resist. Banging tune.)

B

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a theory about this. I think they are visual creatures as already said, but I also think they find us attractive in disarray! Especially if they are doing the disarraying! GuYS are not nearly as bothered about hair etc, as we are.

Yes I agree you are certainly right in my case, it doesn't matter and indeed can be very sexy in it's own way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lights down for me, makes it more intimate, but its not a deal breaker, have had girls who wanted the lights off, and others wanted the lights on. I agree with the poster who referred to erotic memories of teenage years, probably the most common triggger in most blokes sexuality. Perhaps this, has already been discussed, but what is everyones preference. Eyes open, or eyes closed. I prefer them open for a bit, if they are closed resolutely, I suspect she is thinking of someone else, THE ENTIRE TIME, most of us dip into the filing cabiner a little.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a theory about this. I think they are visual creatures as already said, but I also think they find us attractive in disarray! Especially if they are doing the disarraying! GuYS are not nearly as bothered about hair etc, as we are.

That is it precisely. What turns me on is taking a nice respectable, girl-next-door type, or an elegant, well dressed lady, and watching her turn her into a dirty slut; to see her reveal her inner whore. When I fuck a woman I want her to look like she's been fucked, to see that animal sexuality behind the social façade.

With the light on I can see every delightful sordid detail of her 'degradation' as I ravish her. I love to see her perfect hair dishevelled and her pristine make-up smudged from kissing my lips or sucking my cock. I love seeing her clothes in disarray as I grab her for a quickie up against the wall, over the arm of the sofa, or across the kitchen table. I love to see lipstick stains on my cock. I love to see the sweat on her body as we fuck hard; to see how wet her pussy is before I go down on her. I love to see her face as she responds to my touch, and especially when she cums; to see her tits jiggle and sway as we thrust together; to see her cute little arsehole winking at me as I go down to rim her; to see my cock sliding in and out of her pussy; to see her pussy juice glistening on my cock as I fuck her in doggy; to see my spunk on her tits, or dripping down her pretty face, or streaked in her once perfect hair.

The single most important reason to have the lights on is so that I can make intense eye contact with her, especially when I cum. Nothing is more erotic than that connection you get staring deep into her eyes, as you thrust harder and harder to orgasm; or when she looks up at you with a loving gaze with your cock between her lips as you cum in her mouth. That combination of the visual and the emotional, that deep connection you get with intense eye contact, is what makes sex so amazing. And for me that is also incredibly romantic, albeit in an extremely X rated way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate having sex in the dark. Utterly pointless.

(Ok I'm probably demonstrating that I don't have much imagination)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I suspect that if a lady insisted on the lights being off the guy would be more likely to think it was because she didn't want to have to see him rather than not wanting to be seen herself and so take it as a bit of a blow.

I don't like bright light but I do like some light so I can see the lady.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I suspect that if a lady insisted on the lights being off the guy would be more likely to think it was because she didn't want to have to see him rather than not wanting to be seen herself and so take it as a bit of a blow.

I don't like bright light but I do like some light so I can see the lady.

I wouldnt take it as a blow myself but would think it might be because she didnt want to see me, and it would be punt over for me if she insisted on lights off, it would be a complete turn-off. This has never happened that i can recall so a rare scenario. I assume some WGs havent wanted to see me with the lights on but were able to convince me that it wasnt a problem which is all i ask, either genuinely be into it or a good actress. The visual stimulus is as essential to me as the physical, its both or nothing for me. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like to be able to see what I'm doing! Dimmed lights work well for me. I don't like it so much under the duvet in the dark.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can get under the duvet/in the dark sex at home for free (upon occasion :rolleyes: ). The last thing I want to start doing is repeating that in my paid encounters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is it precisely. What turns me on is taking a nice respectable, girl-next-door type, or an elegant, well dressed lady, and watching her turn her into a dirty slut; to see her reveal her inner whore. When I fuck a woman I want her to look like she's been fucked, to see that animal sexuality behind the social façade.

With the light on I can see every delightful sordid detail of her 'degradation' as I ravish her. I love to see her perfect hair dishevelled and her pristine make-up smudged from kissing my lips or sucking my cock. I love seeing her clothes in disarray as I grab her for a quickie up against the wall, over the arm of the sofa, or across the kitchen table. I love to see lipstick stains on my cock. I love to see the sweat on her body as we fuck hard; to see how wet her pussy is before I go down on her. I love to see her face as she responds to my touch, and especially when she cums; to see her tits jiggle and sway as we thrust together; to see her cute little arsehole winking at me as I go down to rim her; to see my cock sliding in and out of her pussy; to see her pussy juice glistening on my cock as I fuck her in doggy; to see my spunk on her tits, or dripping down her pretty face, or streaked in her once perfect hair.

The single most important reason to have the lights on is so that I can make intense eye contact with her, especially when I cum. Nothing is more erotic than that connection you get staring deep into her eyes, as you thrust harder and harder to orgasm; or when she looks up at you with a loving gaze with your cock between her lips as you cum in her mouth. That combination of the visual and the emotional, that deep connection you get with intense eye contact, is what makes sex so amazing. And for me that is also incredibly romantic, albeit in an extremely X rated way.

Apart from the words 'degradation', 'sordid', 'dirty slut' and 'inner whore', (as I dont equate great, passionate, uninhibited, unhinged and frantic sex as sordid, dirty or degrading, nor do I view women who indulge in and enjoy this as sluttish, whorish, dirty or degraded), I agree with the rest of what you say almost totally

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now