jackdaw

Reviving Tradition: The Punternet Retirement Thread

42 posts in this topic

One of the great traditions of punternet is geezers announcing their retirement from the great art of punting. I can remember the heyday of the great Nic, who used to announce his retirement weekly or monthly (depending on results of latest escapade). Always a fun feature, nearly always accompanied by sympathetic messages from his colleagues such as “you'll be back”, “don't let the door hit you on the way out”, “thank goodness” (copyright Chloe??), etc. It seems like a long time since we had one of those... surely somebody can announce he's packing it all in, so we can all have a bit of fun??

And, of course, its always customary on these retirement threads to offer some excuse for calling it a day... favorites being lack of funds, disenchantment with the scene, sudden love, sudden appearance of ability to seduce women without need for cash (always suspected that particular one was a load of cobblers), etc.

The only thing that always puzzled me is that nobody ever offered (as a reason for packing in) the biggest single factor that will probably lead to me calling it a day: “punting terrain”. My punting terrain is basically a desert, so a frolic involves travel to some distant utopia such as Manchester, Milton Keynes, or London. It all takes a long time, and as I don't enjoy travel (except for walking)... it means I spend a fair amount of time per punt doing something that I find boring.

For now I'll carry on (I can think of a couple of wheezes to make travelling more fun, and to increase punts per mile journied)... but yes think its the hostile terrain that will do for me in the end.

Anyway enough waffle from me. But thought it was high time we revived “retirement threads” to punternet, and I'm interested in others best guesses as to why they will probably retire (if ever??).

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Southern Man wishes to announce his retirement from punting with immediate and permanent effect. The missus has found me out........ :(

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Southern Man wishes to announce his retirement from punting with immediate and permanent effect. The missus has found me out........ :(

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Is anyone else having problems with jackdaw's inclusion of Manchester as a punting Utopia?

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Having a truly bad back day and just canceled a meeting with a good looking lady.

Akan is now retiring (full of Ibuprofen) to lie on the floor for a while

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One of the great traditions of punternet is geezers announcing their retirement from the great art of punting. I can remember the heyday of the great Nic, who used to announce his retirement weekly or monthly (depending on results of latest escapade). Always a fun feature, nearly always accompanied by sympathetic messages from his colleagues such as “you'll be back”, “don't let the door hit you on the way out”, “thank goodness” (copyright Chloe??), etc. It seems like a long time since we had one of those... surely somebody can announce he's packing it all in, so we can all have a bit of fun??

And, of course, its always customary on these retirement threads to offer some excuse for calling it a day... favorites being lack of funds, disenchantment with the scene, sudden love, sudden appearance of ability to seduce women without need for cash (always suspected that particular one was a load of cobblers), etc.

The only thing that always puzzled me is that nobody ever offered (as a reason for packing in) the biggest single factor that will probably lead to me calling it a day: “punting terrain”. My punting terrain is basically a desert, so a frolic involves travel to some distant utopia such as Manchester, Milton Keynes, or London. It all takes a long time, and as I don't enjoy travel (except for walking)... it means I spend a fair amount of time per punt doing something that I find boring.

For now I'll carry on (I can think of a couple of wheezes to make travelling more fun, and to increase punts per mile journied)... but yes think its the hostile terrain that will do for me in the end.

Anyway enough waffle from me. But thought it was high time we revived “retirement threads” to punternet, and I'm interested in others best guesses as to why they will probably retire (if ever??).

Due to disenchantment, illness, lack of suitable WGs, not being able to muster up the required enthusiasm, fear of getting nicked, feeling queasy at the sight of the naked female form, fear of my car being stolen while punting in a dodgy area, lack of funds, finding my soulmate and now finding women literally throwing themselves at me i announce my immediate punting retirement. I think its a disgusting pastime and should be illegal and with my new found zest i will alligning myself with Julie Burchill and her group of femi-lovelies. :D:D:D

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Having a truly bad back day and just canceled a meeting with a good looking lady.

Akan is now retiring (full of Ibuprofen) to lie on the floor for a while

This sounds like a good reason to have a massage ;)

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Trying to retire but as I am a loyal one WG punter I find this very difficult - at the heart if it perhaps as mentioned many times before is the temptation to become 'attached' or thinking that the lady perhaps could feel the same way - I try and avoid reading her sometimes graphic FR's and realise as it hits me, as being the harsh reality of this 'game' that she is a very good actress'/ role player - whu. Fortunately I now work abroad in the main but I am sure many sensible mature punters may feel the same way - try to avoid South London on Wednesdays and Sundays on the way to and from Gatwick !!!

Edited by romeo017

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I have retired from punting before for at least errmmmm 2 years!! was in a relationship at the time!!

BVK

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Is anyone else having problems with jackdaw's inclusion of Manchester as a punting Utopia?

Be born in the frozen north. Attend a single sex (unfortunately male) punishment academy in one's formative years. Then eventually move to a village where any visit to any place with more than 1000 souls is regarded as utter madness, and needs to be endlessly explained to uncomprehending friends and neighbours. Then the attractions of Manchester wax strong from time to time... (Seriously I love the mancunian sense of humour among other things)

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I started punting in Jan 2009 and have kept a diary, so can reel off stats, no problem;

2009: Punts 28

2010: Punts 18

2011: Punts 4

The main reason for so few punts this year, is lack of availability of my type of girl, in the areas I am willing to travel to. Mid-East Anglia is slow too!

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only thinking of reducing my punting activity when i actually retire and have less disposable cash.so at least another 10 years of chasing ladies :)

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only thinking of reducing my punting activity when i actually retire and have less disposable cash.so at least another 10 years of chasing ladies :)

I reduced mine long ago

to many cars $ boats to keep up

"chasing ladies "

Is not something as yet I have fond to stresing might be I have been lucky paying them seams to stop them running to fast

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I hereby announce my retirement. I've just started seeing a new lady and i already am struggling to keep up with her sexually. Talk about voracious and demanding. If I don't pack it all in now, it'll simply be a race to see which gives up the ghost first - my heart or my bank balance.

Just one more appointment with her next Wed and then I'm out of here ;) .

:D :D :D

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I hereby announce my retirement. I've just started seeing a new lady and i already am struggling to keep up with her sexually. Talk about voracious and demanding. If I don't pack it all in now, it'll simply be a race to see which gives up the ghost first - my heart or my bank balance.

Just one more appointment with her next Wed and then I'm out of here ;) .

:D :D :D

That's the spirit... though you might just find you need just one more after Wednesday to check the last one was really as good as you thought it was??

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On a practical level, I suppose I would retire when the body wasn't so capable. I have a vision of myself in a few decades time when I'm 80 with my arthritis and a zimmer frame trying to keep up with a gorgeous lady in her late 20s :D

I've always liked the novelty of punting and trying new sexual experiences but I wonder if there would come a time when I don't find it so thrilling and I just suddenly decide to do something else for my kicks. I would imagine that would still be when I'm 60 plus...

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This sounds like a good reason to have a massage ;)

I did ask if the lady in question was a physio in the day job; she wasn't.

I do not wish to fill the comic character stretchered away after getting stuck on the job!

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Southern Man wishes to announce his retirement from punting with immediate and permanent effect. The missus has found me out........ :(

Now that is a mercifully rare occurrence it would seem. So sorry to hear :(

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I just can't be bothered. Have lost the excitement factor, but it's nice to know I can if I want to. Can you have too much of a good thing ?

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I just can't be bothered. Have lost the excitement factor, but it's nice to know I can if I want to. Can you have too much of a good thing ?

Yes in my experience but its great getting to that position.

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That's the spirit... though you might just find you need just one more after Wednesday to check the last one was really as good as you thought it was??

Ah, you've spotted the fatal flaw in my plan. I rather expect hope you are right :D .

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Now that is a mercifully rare occurrence it would seem. So sorry to hear :(

Vin -

Just joking, mate - I had a really good punt this afternoon with DirtyPrettyThing (v. appropriate name as it goes) RO, rimming, anal play, OWO, anal....... proper old fashioned stockings... lovely!

It'll be a cold day in Hell, as the saying goes..... ;)

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Is anyone else having problems with jackdaw's inclusion of Manchester as a punting Utopia?

I'd have a problem if it wasn't on the list! I'm always trying to find an excuse for a business trip involving an overnight stay even though I work in London and live near Milton Keynes!

Manchester offers something for every punter from streetgirls via several classes of parlour to escort agencies and amazing independents. I'm an impoverished cheapskate so I tend to indulge in eg Arabesque.

I think although a poor relation, MC is the nearest city to Prague we have in the UK!

Daffon

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I'd have a problem if it wasn't on the list! I'm always trying to find an excuse for a business trip involving an overnight stay even though I work in London and live near Milton Keynes!

Manchester offers something for every punter from streetgirls via several classes of parlour to escort agencies and amazing independents. I'm an impoverished cheapskate so I tend to indulge in eg Arabesque.

I think although a poor relation, MC is the nearest city to Prague we have in the UK!

Daffon

Not challenging you, but just curious why you think MK compares to Prague - I've done both (one has a lot of European girls and the other one is Prague).

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Not challenging you, but just curious why you think MK compares to Prague - I've done both (one has a lot of European girls and the other one is Prague).

And of course I'm sure Manchester has amazing churches, bridges, markets, squares, concerts etc, but that wasn't what I had in mind. :rolleyes:

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