Uncle Pokey

Music To Avoid When Punting

387 posts in this topic

Some months ago I happened to mention to one of my favourite ladies (who shares with me a common interest in matters musical) that I was becoming increasingly interested in and enjoying Schubert both keyboard and strings.

We've had threads on this Board over many, many years about what is good music to have on in the background whilst a-shagging. I now bring to your attention a 'satisfaction warning'.

My aforesaid favorite lady had listened to what I said and had gone out of her way, bless her, and purchased a recording of Schubert's C Major Quintet. "You'll love this" she said. And indeed so I did until the 2nd movement - the Adagio. After a few moments I was completely distracted, and frankly peeps, was weeping so heart wrenching is that piece.

It's a movement that should be played in every confessional just to provoke full confession. It touches every part of the cerebral cortex.

More pertinantly, it induces an instant flacidity in one's apparatus. This was a failed punt in every respect. Poor girl. She was beside herself with apology. I said 'none required'. She'd opened my mind to yet further dimensions of musical 'reach'.

Apart from more crude dittys, what other musical stuff would punters advise against as 'music to which to punt'.

Uncle Pokey

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Doubt that the St Matthew Passion would be a good choice for background music.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At Uni halls of residence we used to put on the fast bit of the William Tell overture very loudly

durum durum durum-tum-tum

durum durum durum-tum-tum

durum durum durum-tum-tum

duruuuuuuum durum-tum-tum

If we felt a neighour was at it, probably out of good natured jealousy. Whatever your preferred speed This is absolutely bound to spoil your rhythm if you can't ignore it....

Occasionally we would climb out of the window, shimmy along the ledge and knock on the window next door. This was on the 6th floor of a block in South Kensington! Unbelievably dangerous really!

Being of a certain age (Stones, Pink Floyd, Yes, Genesis) I find a lot of parlour muzak very irritating and have been known to change channel to classic fm when the girl is out of the room...

Daffon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IF ANY . . Anything played should be played very quietly and should be easy listening . Nothing worse than loud music being played during a punt . . Totally off putting in my opinion

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ideally i prefer no music but at parties its usually on which i cant do anything about, the WGs generally prefer music i have found.

I dont like heavy metal or drum and base.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

'here comes the bride' LOL Ok I only ever have ibiza smooth. Its easy going :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sorry, couldn't resist :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted Today, 13:18

IF ANY . . Anything played should be played very quietly and should be easy listening . Nothing worse than loud music being played during a punt . . Totally off putting in my opinion

IF ANY . . Anything played should be played very quietly and should be easy listening . Nothing worse than loud music being played during a punt . . Totally off putting in my opinion

We heard you the first time.... sorry, couldn't resist again! :unsure:

Edited by LouisaPSUk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did once see a girl who had a CD of Michael Bolton's greatest hits on repeat. Had I known before hand I would have found some excuse not to go but it actually wasn't as awful as it sounds. I doubt I will see her again but not for that reason.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

some wg's and myself have to put music or radio on while working if neighbours are in.(block of flats) as some punters speak too LOUD :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ideally i prefer no music but at parties its usually on which i cant do anything about, the WGs generally prefer music i have found.

I dont like heavy metal or drum and base.

I think I'm going to take along my iPod dock to LMP next time I go just in case the CD player in the swing room is still skipping. Now a stuck CD really puts you off your stroke!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I'm going to take along my iPod dock to LMP next time I go just in case the CD player in the swing room is still skipping. Now a stuck CD really puts you off your stroke!

Indeed, very true, it used to stick a lot. Some punters did put there own CDs together after asking others what songs they liked, some of the WGs didnt much like some of the songs chosen though. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whats really off putting tho is when a wg keeps her headphones in during a punt . Ha ha . Sorry if my posts appear twice i thought a mod would pick up on it .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My aforesaid favorite lady had listened to what I said and had gone out of her way, bless her, and purchased a recording of Schubert's C Major Quintet. "You'll love this" she said. And indeed so I did until the 2nd movement - the Adagio. After a few moments I was completely distracted, and frankly peeps, was weeping so heart wrenching is that piece.

It's a movement that should be played in every confessional just to provoke full confession. It touches every part of the cerebral cortex.

More pertinantly, it induces an instant flacidity in one's apparatus. This was a failed punt in every respect. Poor girl. She was beside herself with apology. I said 'none required'. She'd opened my mind to yet further dimensions of musical 'reach'.

Apart from more crude dittys, what other musical stuff would punters advise against as 'music to which to punt'.

Uncle Pokey

I do sympathise Uncle - now let's see:-

Mahler - instant end to punt - just couldn't cope with that - I would just have to stop and just listen.

Wagner - could be VERY interesting!!

Schubert - as you say some of this is heart-wrenching.

Bach - again, I would just have to listen.

But I have played Korngold and Schumann very quietly in the background to good effect.

Interesting thread.................

SM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Punting to the sound of Shostakovitch's 11th. Symphony, "In the year 1905", would be interesting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"She's got the jack" AC/DC

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hokey Pokey?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do sympathise Uncle - now let's see:-

Mahler - instant end to punt - just couldn't cope with that - I would just have to stop and just listen.

Interesting thread.................

SM

Are you mad! What about The Resurrection! Natural climax material.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Apart from more crude dittys, what other musical stuff would punters advise against as 'music to which to punt'.

Uncle Pokey

Well The Minute Waltz or Ravel's Bolero spring to mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Back in 2009 or so, I remember a WG poster on here declaring fiercely that there was NEVER an occasion where Hawkwind where appropriate to play in the boudoir :D .

I also remember a young WG I used to see complaining about another client bringing round his Pink Floyd CDs to play during a punt :P .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some months ago I happened to mention to one of my favourite ladies (who shares with me a common interest in matters musical) that I was becoming increasingly interested in and enjoying Schubert both keyboard and strings.

We've had threads on this Board over many, many years about what is good music to have on in the background whilst a-shagging. I now bring to your attention a 'satisfaction warning'.

My aforesaid favorite lady had listened to what I said and had gone out of her way, bless her, and purchased a recording of Schubert's C Major Quintet. "You'll love this" she said. And indeed so I did until the 2nd movement - the Adagio. After a few moments I was completely distracted, and frankly peeps, was weeping so heart wrenching is that piece.

It's a movement that should be played in every confessional just to provoke full confession. It touches every part of the cerebral cortex.

More pertinantly, it induces an instant flacidity in one's apparatus. This was a failed punt in every respect. Poor girl. She was beside herself with apology. I said 'none required'. She'd opened my mind to yet further dimensions of musical 'reach'.

Apart from more crude dittys, what other musical stuff would punters advise against as 'music to which to punt'.

Uncle Pokey

I have to say that Elgar’s Cello Concerto brings me to tears – I certainly couldn’t f**k to it! - and there are many bits of music, such as Vaughan Williams ‘Lark Ascending’ which I just have to sit quietly (and flaccidly) and listen to.

Mind you, you can be turned. Many years ago – and long before I started punting – Albinoni’s Adagio in G Minor fell into the ‘tears’ category, but then in the late 1970s I saw ‘The Story of Joanna’ – a porn masterpiece containing (almost) every perversion under the sun (in its day) – and that included the said Adagio as an accompaniment to some of the more esoteric scenes. To this day, whenever I hear it I have full recall of those scenes (and no flaccidity there!!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Back in 2009 or so, I remember a WG poster on here declaring fiercely that there was NEVER an occasion where Hawkwind where appropriate to play in the boudoir :D .

I also remember a young WG I used to see complaining about another client bringing round his Pink Floyd CDs to play during a punt :P .

Dark Side of the Moon is good when your shagging till the clocks make you jump out your skin. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to say that Elgar’s Cello Concerto brings me to tears – I certainly couldn’t f**k to it! - and there are many bits of music, such as Vaughan Williams ‘Lark Ascending’ which I just have to sit quietly (and flaccidly) and listen to.

Mind you, you can be turned. Many years ago – and long before I started punting – Albinoni’s Adagio in G Minor fell into the ‘tears’ category, but then in the late 1970s I saw ‘The Story of Joanna’ – a porn masterpiece containing (almost) every perversion under the sun (in its day) – and that included the said Adagio as an accompaniment to some of the more esoteric scenes. To this day, whenever I hear it I have full recall of those scenes (and no flaccidity there!!)

I could not have sex if there was any of the late Beethoven Piano Sonatas playing in the background.

Mind you I could grind all day to French harspichord music of the 17/18th century. That music sounds so erotic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

St Winifreds School Choir - Grandma must be the ultimate show stopper

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it's good, or appeals to you, you'll listen to it.

If it's mediocre, it makes no difference.

If it's complete crap, it will be a turn-off.

Worst of all is a radio station with a DJ popping up every few minutes. Another voice in the room is very distracting (except at threesomes or parties, of course) :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now