Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
jackmanc

Artemis Berlin

7 posts in this topic

Artemis is a well-known "megabrothel", so well-known it's even advertised on the side of some of the Berlin trams. Getting to it is easy. Just take the S-Bahn to the Westkreuz station (get a day pass for 6.30 euros). There's only one station exit, and this takes you out to a parking area, then across a bridge over the railway lines. Then you get to a busy main road, and turn left. You can't actually see Artemis from here, but don't panic, it's the first building you come to on the left. It's only a few hundred metres from the station, in fact. There's a large parking area in front if you have a car. The train back to the centre runs very late too, apparently, so you needn't worry about transport and can save on taxis.

The entrance hall is on the ground floor, and you pay 80 euros entrance fee. You get a key attached to a wristband and this opens a clothes locker and a small locker for valuables which is overlooked by the reception so seems completely safe. You then get a dressing gown and plastic slippers, and can shower in a large and well-equipped changing room. Ok, now you're ready to go.

Downstairs there's a gym (quite well-equipped but I never saw anyone using it), a small porn cinema, and some rooms where you can go with the girls. In another part of the downstairs, there's a pool plus two saunas of different temperatures, and a "hamman". There's also another bar, with tv. On the ground floor, there's a bar-lounge area, and another porn cinema, plus a cafe. Upstairs there are the rooms where you go with the girls, and you can only go up there accompanied.

Non-alcoholic drinks are free, as is food (chili con carne recommended), and you can buy alcoholic drinks too, although I didn't.

There are girls everywhere, usually in tiny bikinis but sometimes with less, or nothing if they're on their way to the showers (they have separate ones, alas). Most are mid-20s or younger, with hardly any who are less than attractive, and some stunners (at least half, I'd say). Almost all would be regarded as very good to exceptional lookers in well-known UK parlours like Sandys.

Some reports of the girls in places like this suggest that they're very pushy, but I didn't find that in general. In the porn cinema I was approached by a persistent Hungarian blonde who was probably the least attractive girl in the place, so I declined and went off somewhere else. Now and again a girl would ask you if you wanted company, but mostly they seemed happy to let you make the approach.

There were maybe 30 men of various nationalities, ages, shapes, and sizes in the place, and at least that many girls, sitting around chatting (to men and to each other). The atmosphere was very relaxed, with quite a lot of men just sitting around by the pool (where you could watch the masseur giving oil massages to one girl after another....a horrible job, I imagine...), or having drinks.

Sex takes place in the rooms or in the porno cinemas, where they have things like huge sofas/beds, easily big enough for you and your companion. If you have sex in the porno cinemas other people can wander in and watch, but no-one seems to mind or think there's anything unusual about this.

Out of the dozens of women available I picked a petite dark-haired Polish 30-ish woman, with a fantastic figure and a lovely face. Her English was pretty good, certainly sufficient for the task in hand. I'd seen her writhing around in the porno cinema with a guy earlier (very erotic). 60 euros gets you 30 minutes of OWO + protected sex, with kissing, RO, generally a sort of sexy GFE of the sort that the better UK parlours provide. There was no time pressure. She performed a long OWO session, followed by doggy sex, all unrushed and very friendly. An excellent punt.

I had some food, and watched a bit of Champion's League on the tv, then decided to try another girl. I'd been talking to another Polish girl earlier, whose English seemed nearly perfect, so I picked her. Thanks to Cialis I was ok to go again after an hour or so, but wondered whether I could come. We decided on sex in the porno cinema. Again, OWO, sex in various positions, and then my companion, who said that she was determined to make me come a second time, brought me off by hand. Wonderful. Another friendly and unrushed service. I only had a 50 and 20 euro note with me, so we walked back through the lounge to get change. The girl didn't bother putting her clothes back on, so I walked back with this babe nude apart from her high heels. Very sexy indeed, almost the sexiest thing that happened, certainly the thing that sticks most in the mind. I got my change and a peck on the cheek and she went off for a shower.

Artemis only has two problems. One, you have to pace youself. If you've just paid 80 euros for entry you don't want to be out after half an hour 140 euros light in total, so potential visitors should think about how they're going to handle this. It's open from 11 in the morning until (I think) 3 am, and you can stay all day if you want. The more girls you see the relatively better value it gets but obviously there are limits to what people can do (even with some chemical assistance) and afford. The second problem is that I imagine you could get addicted to Artemis very quickly if you lived in Berlin.

My three/four hours in Artemis cost 200 euros in all. Had the exchange rate been better it would have been a real bargain, and as it was it was fair value for money, with 2 excellent punts with lovely-looking and friendly girls, plus food and drink, lounging around, sauna, football on tv, etc. in a place with a nice relaxed atmosphere. If you're in Berlin and fancy spending the money, don't hesitate.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good review- and I agree- if you have all day to spend, and a budget on 200 Euro plus, then yeah, its fantastic.

It is so well known, too, that they work hard to maintain a good reputation.

I had one lady come up to me and chat, which was nice, but then she said "so, lets go to the room?" I said "not right now," and she was quite moody.

Perhaps the ettiquette is not to chat to anyone unless you intend to make a deal, but I dunno, I just didn't quite get it right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good report Jackmanc, if I was ever to go to that part of Germany it would get a visit, it sounds a nice well run place.

I had one lady come up to me and chat, which was nice, but then she said "so, lets go to the room?" I said "not right now," and she was quite moody.

Perhaps the ettiquette is not to chat to anyone unless you intend to make a deal, but I dunno, I just didn't quite get it right.

I think the general ettiquette is if you start kissing/fondling you go to the room. If a girl starts getting cozy and I'm not interested or just chilling out I say no thanks or maybe later.

I cant understand why the girls get moody if you say no thanks. It may be that you have just had a session and are recovering. If they get moody, there is no way you would session with them later. Some do, most just accept it no problem. My last visit to an FKK I was walking to the pool and a girl came up to me and said hi and wanted a chat. I just said hi back and carried on walking by. I dont know what she said or did behind my back but a couple of blokes watching burst out laughing. Maybe I should have stopped for a quick chat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes good first report there Jackmanc, I've yet to visit Berlin, but when I do Artemis Is a place I will visit.

It's just a surprise that It's one of the only fkk clubs In Berlin, maybe one reason why the entry Is €80, many In NRW and Hessen are €50-€60, and the price structure Is higher too, many other clubs It's €50 for 1/2hr,

Usually the girls In clubs who are very pushy are the crap ones to steer clear off, they have to rely on newcomers because the regs won't touch them, that's why they can be moody If you don't agree to go room after 5.65sec. :D

Here Is a guided walk from the S-bahn station,

http://youtu.be/gJpSSkkucDM

And a look round the club with the boss.

http://youtu.be/wd4X-fF-h0Q

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For anyone going to Berlin, a quick update on Artemis. It's still there, it's still great ! And very much as the first poster described. Went recently and as described, for most of the time, there were as many girls as there were guys. Wednesday is 'dessous day', which means that a lot of the girls are dressed in lingerie : and given, that they are all also wearing killer high heels and platforms, I can assure you that this makes for quite a mind boggling sight.

It's a bit like being at a nightclub, where not only are all the girls dressed like porn stars, but also a high percentage of them are really stunning, and just to top it off, a lot of them are hitting on you. Though I think half the fun is to decide who it is that you want to go for and then work out some kind of strategy to go and get them. It adds an element of chase into the proceedings.

I saw a girl standing at the bar who to be honest I thought was just impossibly beautifal, but as noone else was going to do it, I thought I'd have a go ( if it didn't work, no problem, nothing ventured nothing gained and if it did work, I get to have sex with her). We had a chat, I think she was quite amused at my cheekiness, I thought she might be a bit aloof, but we agree to go upstairs anyway : without going into the specifics, she turns out to be as horny as a rabbit (it involved a lot of saliva). So I spent an hour with her :). Her name was Coco and she is half Greek and half Albanian (and absolutely gorgeous).

But as the guy before said, half the deal is to pace yourself, so there followed a couple of hours of showering and resting and fighting off the advances of various beautifal girls, and thinking who an earth is going to be able to follow Princess Coco, when I get hit upon by two girls asking me if I'd like to go with both of them. There's always one I prefer to the other, so I go with Michelle, another flawless beauty, half German and half Colombian ( :) you get the picture). Without going into the specifics, she is also beautifally spontaneous and imaginative and having such a long legged lithe bikini wearing beauty in high heels draped all over you, makes me want to stay with her for an hour as well, which eventually blows another gasket. And like Coco, Michelle is also actually a really nice person and fun to hang out with and to chat to.

And that was enough for me : this time it was very much quality over quantity and I had a great time, especially with two girls that I could never even dream of being with in normal life : and the fact that they were both hot as hell was the real icing on the proverbial cake. So, anyone going to Berlin ......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nice report. I was punting regularly at the Artemis about 5 years ago but since 2009 I've been snubbing Berlin for Frankfurt. May be its time I rediscovered Berlin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And then I went back to Artemis for what was perhaps one of the most memorable nights of my life. I'm glad I don't live in Berlin, otherwise I think I'd spend far too much money there. One of the images that sticks in my mind is the scene of pure decadence in the bar area late on a Wednesday night, just sat there observing all that was going on, with a host of gorgeous young women all in various states of undress, just sitting around, chatting and cavorting, and intermittently trying to hit on the various male dressing gowned men, all set to a beat of pounding techno disco in a blue haze of cigarette smoke. To be honest, I was a pig in shit, l love it ! There's something about it that makes me think they've been doing this stuff in Berlin for years, there's something about the city that is just made for it.

And somehow I seem to have managed to find a way of operating within this scenario, as I contrived to 'go upstairs' with three absolutely gorgeous women, Anika (from Stuttgart), Jane (from Hamburg), and Katerina (from Berlin) : and I was kind of relieved that they were all German girls and they seemed to be there because they enjoyed it and were not there just because of the economic imbalance between the west and the rest.

Tattoos don't normally do it for me, but Anika was just very cool, with an ornate paisley pattern down the length of her back and a large framed portrait of a kneeling naked lady on one thigh, and a rich clear cut voice and fine cheek bones, a bit like a Dutch girl. Jane was a sweet looking blonde girl with a long slender body. We spent half the time messing around with me trying to converse in pidgen German, which was quite a laugh. And I'd seen Katerina seated at the bar earlier, looking rather out of my league, with her statuesque body, improbable bust and cleopatra fringe but then I got Jane to introduce me to her, saying that I wanted to learn some German, so I ended up with her as well. :)

Anyway, I haven't told anyone else about all of this, so I thought I might share it with the anonymous domain of the Punternet board, not that all that many people seem to read stuff about the rest of the world. The bit that I haven't mentioned, is that although all three girls were genuinely stunning, they were also each very liberated in the boudoir department. I had a ball. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0