Guest Xenia

Things You Never Thought Client Would Say

46 posts in this topic

Following from the topic: Things You Never Thought Youd Here A Girl Say ... But this time shoe is on anoter foot.

Here is a few recent of mine, but I am sure I will remember some more later.

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1 I've brought with me dowsing rod to establish when you will get wet.

2. Do you have red or at least brown shoe polish before I leave?

3 Never cried since I was 11.

4 I've just bought galia melon from Morrison before I came to you.. Lets swap my melon from Morison to yours galia melon from the market.

5 Who the fuck is Vasnetcov and why did you hanged this awful picture here? (after looking at this painting)

6 You are wasting money for the stuff you don't really need. I can see you shoes cost at least £400 alone! (they were: £34.99)

7 Your pussy smells of peaches (Strange that, because we just used strawberry flavoured condom).

8 Do you have a pork pie or vanilla slice by any chance in your bag?

9 Why you never ever sweat, not even under your armpits?

10 Yes, I did bought this flowers from the Tesco petrol station.

You turn now, girls! :-)

Edited by Xenia

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At 3.03 in the morning a nice girl should either be asleep, or crying for the motherland - not dreaming of being a melon trader.

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5 Who the fuck is Vasnetcov and why did you hanged this awful picture here? (after looking at this painting)

He had a point.

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He had a point.

I like it. Russian revivalist art is little known in the West. It should be more widely appreciated I think.

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hilarious comments! :D

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I like it. Russian revivalist art is little known in the West. It should be more widely appreciated I think.

Thank you, Rimalot. (love the nick, BTW :-)).

It was not pleasant at all at the time, when some pleb of the client was commenting on my distaste in the above painting. I just did not expected that some would agree with him and then post about it here.

Edited by Xenia

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Thank you, Rimalot. (love the nick, BTW :-)).

It was not pleasant at all at the time, when some pleb of the client was commenting on my distaste in the above painting. I just did not expected that some would agree with him and then post about it here.

I like the painting, thanks for the artist, I will google him to death. It does add to your mystique to think of thse paintings hanging all over your mansion!

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I like it. Russian revivalist art is little known in the West. It should be more widely appreciated I think.

Looks like someone knows how to use wikipedia.

Thank you, Rimalot. (love the nick, BTW :-)).

It was not pleasant at all at the time, when some pleb of the client was commenting on my distaste in the above painting. I just did not expected that some would agree with him and then post about it here.

Just because someone doesn't share your taste in art, doesn't make them a pleb.

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Him "What the fkkk is that noise under the bed?" !!!!

Me "Er... I didn't know he was there..... it's the cat coughing up a furrball"

Oh the shame :o

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He doesn't swallow then.

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He doesn't swallow then.

How do you know it's a 'he' :rolleyes:

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The worst thing I've heard was in e-mail. A guy basicaly said he could huck me up with guys and he would pay me in coke! I really hope it was a joke!

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How do you know it's a 'he' :rolleyes:

Adele posted so ;)

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How do you know it's a 'he' :rolleyes:

...... because he has a little cat willy of course

:rolleyes::blink:

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...... because he has a little cat willy of course

:rolleyes::blink:

Doh............I need new glasses.

Mind you, I've never looked close enough to see if a cat had a willy or not. :rolleyes::P

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Doh............I need new glasses.

Mind you, I've never looked close enough to see if a cat had a willy or not. :rolleyes::P

:):rolleyes:

Just remembered a good one.

Me "Er I think you forgot to put your boxers back on"

Him "No, just put them in the bin, I can't wear them again after I have been to see an escort"

:blink: Lovely

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:):rolleyes:

Just remembered a good one.

Me "Er I think you forgot to put your boxers back on"

Him "No, just put them in the bin, I can't wear them again after I have been to see an escort"

:blink: Lovely

You should have told him you'd keep them with your pussy under the bed :)

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You should have told him you'd keep them with your pussy under the bed :)

I should have rammed them up his backside.

He also told me he never sees the same girl twice. Then attempted

to book me again 2 weeks later.

I was busy of course...... :rolleyes:

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On my last punt I said to the lady in question that I was doing a lot of work on getting my head sorted out (counselling) at the moment and that the punt had probably been the last ever as it had been sufficient to put me off the whole idea. What I meant was that I was not getting anything from punting emotionally and so it seemed a bit of a waste of time and money, although the sex itself had been very enjoyable. She did not quite take it like that and quite a long discussion ensued.....................

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I can tell you what I am sick of hearing (and I have only been escorting for three months) 'What is a nice, intelligent girl like you doing in this line of work?' (or variations thereof). F**K. RIGHT. OFF. :angry: Perhaps I shouldn't swear in my first post.

Leoh xx :P

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On my last punt I said to the lady in question that I was doing a lot of work on getting my head sorted out (counselling) at the moment and that the punt had probably been the last ever as it had been sufficient to put me off the whole idea. What I meant was that I was not getting anything from punting emotionally and so it seemed a bit of a waste of time and money, although the sex itself had been very enjoyable. She did not quite take it like that and quite a long discussion ensued.....................

...............and if that comes as any kind of a surprise, you really do need counselling! ;)

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Thank you, Rimalot. (love the nick, BTW :-)).

It was not pleasant at all at the time, when some pleb of the client was commenting on my distaste in the above painting. I just did not expected that some would agree with him and then post about it here.

Well, I quite like the picture and anyway: your place, your rules, your decor.

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Looks like someone knows how to use wikipedia.

I do, but I also trained in art history.

So ya boo sucks to you, you snarky snivelling snot head!

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Told a guy via e-mail that I wasn't able to meet him at the time he sugested because I was organising a funeral. Got this in return:

"Keep smiling it makes you feel better... mind you a suppose a couple of good meetings with big men keeps you smiling anyway ??? lol"

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At 3.03 in the morning a nice girl should either be asleep, or crying for the motherland - not dreaming of being a melon trader.

Remembering the sacrifices of Mother Russia during the great patriotic war is a reason to cry.... never forget that it was Russia who freed Europe from the Nazis.

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