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Trying To Make A Discreet Purchase

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Having some fairly specific tastes I always take some underwear (for her, not me!) along on a punt.

This week I had a punt booked on Monday afternoon but on Saturday realised that I didn't have any tights (yes I know, tights! - but let's not get into that now).

I decided not to go shopping on a busy Saturday morning lest I run into a friend and having to explain myself whilst picking a packet of 15 denier off the shelf.

So, instead I went on Monday morning, bumped into nobody I knew, entered an almost empty shop, picked the tights off the rack then duly presented them at the counter - whereupon the lady at the till said "Hello Alex!".

It was a friend of mine and I had completely forgotten that she worked there.

Oops!

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I know, you like shagging virgins............................

A very old joke from a Private Eye record from the 70's

Astonished punter to working girl "Oooh, Aaah, Oooh - I've never made love to a virgin before"

Bemused working girl "Oh, I knew I should have taken my tights off....................."

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To make a discrete purchase?

Be confident and brazen!

People trying to be a little sneaky always stand out a mile ;-)

Sorry, stand out a kilometre (it is the age of metrication).

Edited by Corus Boy

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I know, you like shagging virgins............................

A very old joke from a Private Eye record from the 70's

Astonished punter to working girl "Oooh, Aaah, Oooh - I've never made love to a virgin before"

Bemused working girl "Oh, I knew I should have taken my tights off....................."

or doctor, doctor my girlfriends toes keep curling up and un curling during sex.

doctor -try taking her tights off first.

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I used to see a girl who loved a particular type of chocolate. Part of my pre meeting ritual would be to buy the choccies and wander off in a fantasy.

I could only get them at one shop in my home town and the shop assistants came to recognise me.

My wife likes the same place..........different choccies..........luckily they haven't said 'hello there' :o

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Having some fairly specific tastes I always take some underwear (for her, not me!) along on a punt.

This week I had a punt booked on Monday afternoon but on Saturday realised that I didn't have any tights (yes I know, tights! - but let's not get into that now).

I decided not to go shopping on a busy Saturday morning lest I run into a friend and having to explain myself whilst picking a packet of 15 denier off the shelf.

So, instead I went on Monday morning, bumped into nobody I knew, entered an almost empty shop, picked the tights off the rack then duly presented them at the counter - whereupon the lady at the till said "Hello Alex!".

It was a friend of mine and I had completely forgotten that she worked there.

Oops!

Tell her you are planning a bank robbery with a friend, and it was cheaper to buy a pair of tights and cut them into two, than buying a pair of sheer black silk seemed stockings, which would make you look kinky.

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Tell her you are planning a bank robbery with a friend, and it was cheaper to buy a pair of tights and cut them into two, than buying a pair of sheer black silk seemed stockings, which would make you look kinky.

Or tell her your tin of "Gloss White" has gone lumpy.

Or tell her the truth ,she wont believe you.

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Tell her you are dressing up for an Eddy Izzard tribute show, or if the tights were a bit spangly, the Rocky Horror Show.

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as Jones the Butcher says - tell her your off for a shagfest with a really fit hooker and you want her to wear them...... now way on earth she'll believe you (or she'll flash you her Bridget Joneses and make the punt even more special .....)

Edited by HungDong

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