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Carl90

Did I Actually Lose It ?

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Hi guys newbie here,

Well I'm 20 years old and at the start of the year I decided I wanted to lose my virginity, being quite shy and low in confidence however meant doing it the ‘normal way’ wasn’t an option so I went down the escort route but checking all the sites to get info first.

After narrowing down the choices and quite a lot of procrastination I eventually plucked up the courage to make the call, it was very simple and she seemed fine with everything I said, virginity and all lol.

I did find it very hard to eat and also couldn’t get much sleep only about 6 hours in the two nights before the meeting but decided to proceed none the less.

I got to the apartment on time, reached the door and was greeted by a half-naked girl in just bra and knickers which was a bit of a shock lol; pulled out the envelope straight away then went straight in the shower.

We sat next to eachother talking about rubbish, just saying how nervous I was and stuff, which then led to really nice gentle kissing and cuddling which was AMAZING. Decided to try out RO as I really wanted to please her and at least it seemed to go positively.

Well now is where the problem began, she went down on me but the little fella seemed to not be cooperating, she kept going though and eventually felt there was enough to stick the condom on but after a few strokes with her on top he went dead. I suggested trying 69 for a bit as doing RO on her might take my mind off the main goal, and this did work quite well to get me to around 75-80% strength at which we tried mish, and for a good 2-3 minutes I was doing it but she had to apply some lube, stopping flow did reduce me slightly and a last attempt at doggy didn’t really start. She was very nice about it all just saying it would be helpful for the next time and I definitely agree with that although having not actually climaxed myself was basically confused as to whether or not I had lost it.

Of course I would love to go see another girl but I don’t want to potentially fork out more money and not perform again, so really I’d just like to know if anyone else has had this happen on their first time and if the nerves lessened on further attempts. Also any tips on improving the ability to sustain an erection/preventing nerves would be appreciated; I think it’s primarily a mental block.

Thanks for reading,

Carl.

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Hi guys newbie here,

Well I'm 20 years old and at the start of the year I decided I wanted to lose my virginity, being quite shy and low in confidence however meant doing it the ‘normal way’ wasn’t an option so I went down the escort route but checking all the sites to get info first.

After narrowing down the choices and quite a lot of procrastination I eventually plucked up the courage to make the call, it was very simple and she seemed fine with everything I said, virginity and all lol.

I did find it very hard to eat and also couldn’t get much sleep only about 6 hours in the two nights before the meeting but decided to proceed none the less.

I got to the apartment on time, reached the door and was greeted by a half-naked girl in just bra and knickers which was a bit of a shock lol; pulled out the envelope straight away then went straight in the shower.

We sat next to eachother talking about rubbish, just saying how nervous I was and stuff, which then led to really nice gentle kissing and cuddling which was AMAZING. Decided to try out RO as I really wanted to please her and at least it seemed to go positively.

Well now is where the problem began, she went down on me but the little fella seemed to not be cooperating, she kept going though and eventually felt there was enough to stick the condom on but after a few strokes with her on top he went dead. I suggested trying 69 for a bit as doing RO on her might take my mind off the main goal, and this did work quite well to get me to around 75-80% strength at which we tried mish, and for a good 2-3 minutes I was doing it but she had to apply some lube, stopping flow did reduce me slightly and a last attempt at doggy didn’t really start. She was very nice about it all just saying it would be helpful for the next time and I definitely agree with that although having not actually climaxed myself was basically confused as to whether or not I had lost it.

Of course I would love to go see another girl but I don’t want to potentially fork out more money and not perform again, so really I’d just like to know if anyone else has had this happen on their first time and if the nerves lessened on further attempts. Also any tips on improving the ability to sustain an erection/preventing nerves would be appreciated; I think it’s primarily a mental block.

Thanks for reading,

Carl.

Welcome to the board Carl. :) My advice is try to relax, take some deep breaths and remember its about having fun, being confident helps.

Unless you have a medical problem its likely the lack of a hard-on was due to nerves which is quite understandable. The more you punt the more you will build your confidence hopefully. I wish you luck. :)

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A lot of penises are a bit 'condom-shy'. Of course, condoms are an absolute necessity so you can't compromise on that. I can only suggest time and experience as the answer. Apart from condom-shyness, the rest is indeed probably nerves. You need to find a lady who you are completely comfortable with and maybe try and take charge a bit so things move at the right pace for you. You'll be alright in the end but it might take a few attempts.

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Yes, you've lost it, Carl! Well done! If you had come then it would have been the crowning glory, but if you were having penetrative sex for a few minutes, then it's fine to say you've lost it.

I imagine your problems are down to nerves. Just relax and you should be ok. Try and consider, realistically, what the worst outcome could be in the situation. It won't be as bad as you're paranoia makes you think it will be.

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Hi Carl, welcome to the boards.

And yes, if you had your cock in a womans pussy "for a good 2 or 3 minutes", you have definitely lost it.

Shame about the anticlimax, but that's life. Just goes to show that him up there has a good sense of humour eh?

If you are going to try again, you might want to consider a massage with a Happy Ending instead. Less pressure to perform and it might help get you used to being next to a gorgeous half naked girl without feeling nervous about it. It also is a little cheaper way to practise as well.

Up to you and don't feel any pressure to continue. It's an expensive hobby and can be quite addictive. If you've acheived your goal already, don't be afraid to quit. If your goal however is to acheive orgasm with someone else, best of luck in your quest. I am sure it will work out.

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Well done, you did it. It will get a lot easier and alot better. Peformance anxiety can be a killer to blood flow, so if you do decide to try again heres a tip. At your age, you can, if relaxed get hard again in no time, so you could try getting the girl to wank you, then suggest taking a shower with her. Worked for me once years ago, it was with someone I really liked but in the bedroom , it was useless. However, after I got her to give me HR , we took a shower and by the time I felt little harry brushing against her thigh I was ready to go again.I still sometimes find I get a better boner second time round now, esp. during a nervy punt.I'm not sure if its mental thing or whether the blood flow just works better as you have recently excersised the area so you are more receptive. Most of all, see if you can find a nice friendly girl, a good GFE provider who will provide kissing and cuddling as this can all help you to relax, or maybe that can start you off with a massage.

Good luck.

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If you are inexperianced... for the first few times with an escort consider a sensual massage with HR at the end, takes the pressure of you to perform and you will relax more. The rest will come naturally as you get more comfortable in that sort of environment.

JDM

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Like many have said already then if you penetrated her for a couple of minutes it's safe to say you're no longer a virgin. Sadly not all 'first times' are mind blowing orgasmic affairs - but now you've 'broken your duck' I hope that you will be able to relax more and get more out of future sessions.

You will soon come to appreciate that there's nothing more pleasurable than a really great shag where everything just clicks - the more comfortable you become, the better it will be!

I see sex very much like any other nerve wracking activity -the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the better you become at it! I'm thecsane with presentations : first time I had to get up and present to 200 people I was a nervous wreck and it was a nightmare - now it's second nature to me, I can do it quite well and get lots of positive feedback!

Good luck going forward - I'm a little jealous of you as you still have that journey of sexual discovery ahead of you - enjoy!

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In my experience, the girl going on top,at the beginning, can quickly destroy a fragile erection, and many wgs often do this, to show that they know their stuff. Stick to missionary until you are well hard, and then try doggy,shoot on sight as it were, leave the refined stuff until later bookings. If you have enough money, keep at it. But this hobby is as expensive as crack cocaine, or so they tell me

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Of course I would love to go see another girl but I don’t want to potentially fork out more money and not perform again, so really I’d just like to know if anyone else has had this happen on their first time and if the nerves lessened on further attempts. Also any tips on improving the ability to sustain an erection/preventing nerves would be appreciated; I think it’s primarily a mental block.

Thanks for reading,

Carl.

I had a problem my first time with a WG - I could not get it up, and came while she tried to get me hard by hand and mouth - she was a lovely girl, and I still remember her fondly even tho that went a bit wrong. We still carried on cuddling and chatting for a while.

Since then, in something like 300 punts I have only had a problem twice on the first round - once when I got hard but could not come, and once recently when I lost it half-way through - and I blame that on the girl's incompetence.

I suggest you use FRs to find a girl who will be responsive to your needs - some (hardened or inexperienced) WGs just go through their standard routine which will probably not help you. And don't worry about satisfying her - she will be happy that she has earned her fee and made you a happy customer.

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If you are inexperianced... for the first few times with an escort consider a sensual massage with HR at the end, takes the pressure of you to perform and you will relax more. The rest will come naturally as you get more comfortable in that sort of environment.

JDM

TBH the OP's experience doesn't sound ideal. I guess in many ways there is rarely an ideal 'first time'. However, JDM advice, having read and thought about it, seems excellent and is something I shall follow.

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Thanks for all the responses,

I've heard about the deep breaths thing which I will probably look into more as natural cures like that are probably best.

On the condom thing I have a Fleshlight and have been trying it out regulary with protection to at least get an idea of how it might feel and it has always went quite well, at first it's a little numb but soon improves and I'm able to climax so I don't think it's a condom problem.

On the massage with Happy Ending I wasn't too sure about this as the girl I was with did offer to give me a short massage to try and relax me which I accepted but if I'm honest I soon realised it was quite annoying facing away and just sort of lying there especialy after we had started with so much touchy-feely stuff. However I'm sure if it a more professional masuesse it would feel great but the idea that I wasn't allowed to kiss or cuddle would probably send me crazy lol. One thing I was thinking (which I didn't suggest on the first booking due to slight embarresment I guess, stupid I know) was for her to give me HR while we cuddle and kiss, as the idea of a girl just doing that sat infront of me with no interaction (a la massage with happy ending) seems a little clinical and too goal orientated whereas if I'm distracted with other stuff it might allow me to lose myself more which I fear I couldn't quite do last time.

In terms of the actual sex all I want to aim for is her on top leaning down with all kissing and stuff, missionary for me just seems like too much hard work lol and kind of uncomfortable for her. But I guess overall I would just LOVE to come too quickly, even 30 secs - minute, the idea of not even being able to get a proper hard on is so much worse.

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The massage idea is good. HR is more focused on your cock and un-interrupted. Try shifting your focus onto the the girl and away from your cock (that is not getting hard) Focusing on your cock will not get it hard. If you focus on what you like about the girl your cock can then do its thing. Also make sure you select a girl that your cock likes.

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One thing I was thinking (which I didn't suggest on the first booking due to slight embarresment I guess, stupid I know) was for her to give me HR while we cuddle and kiss, as the idea of a girl just doing that sat infront of me with no interaction (a la massage with happy ending) seems a little clinical and too goal orientated whereas if I'm distracted with other stuff it might allow me to lose myself more which I fear I couldn't quite do last time.

I just love HR combined with DFK. Many of my round 2s consist solely of this as I know it would take too long for me to come again via full sex. Do not be embarrassed at asking for it. The girls in this game are pretty much unshockable and this will be a common request for them. Enjoy!

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I know I didn't have an ideal first time, I doubt if many people do, far too nerve racking!

But, congratulations, yes you have definitely entered non virgin territory.

As a girl I'm not sure if I am really qualified to comment but I do find that the more pressure that I put myself under to cum the less likely it is to happen.

Also, if I am tired and haven't slept properly and/or have not had some form of carbohydrate (hard I know when you are too nervous to eat/sleep!) I am less likely to cum. I always try to sleep well and favour soup as a nutritious and blood sugar raising food before I meet some one.

Equally, in the past if I have being giving a blow job and have been very focused on giving my lover an orgasm the less likely it is to happen. These days I go with the flow and more often than not I am rewarded for my 'efforts'.

Finding a girl who loves kissing, cuddling and massage might be the way to go, kissing and hand relief mmm and then, who knows what might 'pop' up.

As with anything in life and presentations are a good example (they really used to make me ill) practise makes perfect and forgiving yourself when things don't quite go to plan is probably the best way forward.

Good luck and have fun! :D

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How about a round of allpause for the working girl?

Sounds like she tried to make it special and did not add any more pressure. In the real world when my first time ended in Mr Flabby taking a bow the (non professional) girl just laughed!

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I had a similar scenario to the OP's on my first occasion, although I could maintain erection but I didn't climax...

It took me til my third visit to a wg for that to happen. Found that if I just relaxed and went with the flow then it was more likely to occur.

I've read on some places that the definition of one losing their virginity is actually subjective.. some say as long as the man's had his cock inside the woman for a couple of mins then he'll have lost his virginity... others say it doesn't count unless the male climaxes... personally I agree with former (and therefore the earlier replies), and so I'd also say the OP is no longer a virgin too, and that he shouldn't stress about it too much. Just my 2p.

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Yes. And it gets better. It's one of those strange thing that the less you think about it the better it is. It sounds like an ok first time to me. Onwards and upwards.

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Yep the not thinking about it was a problem, but when you're lying on your back with a hot girl using all the 'skills' to try and arouse a fairly limp penis all you can think about is GET HARD you git! However of course that never works and instead you just stay flacid....

I'm currently considering who to see next but whoever I do see will definitely take the HR and FK strategy, just thinking about it makes me hard so surely doing it should have some effect lol. Also I'm gonna give it a week at least before seeing anyone as that will probably mean I'm liturally dying to go.

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I'm currently considering who to see next but whoever I do see will definitely take the HR and FK strategy, just thinking about it makes me hard so surely doing it should have some effect lol. Also I'm gonna give it a week at least before seeing anyone as that will probably mean I'm liturally dying to go.

Good plan.

If you find that the old John Thomas doesn't rise to the occasion despite all of the girls efforts, don't be afraid to try a bit of "self help" to hurry the erection along. You will know your willy a lot better than she will, so you might well have better luck at getting him to stand to attention. Once he is awake, let the girl take over and Bob's your uncle.

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Good plan.

If you find that the old John Thomas doesn't rise to the occasion despite all of the girls efforts, don't be afraid to try a bit of "self help" to hurry the erection along. You will know your willy a lot better than she will, so you might well have better luck at getting him to stand to attention. Once he is awake, let the girl take over and Bob's your uncle.

Yeah that's defo a good idea but it kinda falls into the embaressment catorgory (stupid I know :( ) and the 'I've got a beautiful girl sat next to me why would I even think about NOT letting her do it' area, but yep as a last resort I'll do it.

Also I've finally plucked up the courage to make another call and I've arranged a meeting on Wednesday so just gotta hope all this advice pays off as well as having fingers, toes and everything else firmly crossed lol

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yea mate, don't sweat it at all! It's not a big deal in the slightest. Focusing on it will cause the opposite effect imo. 100% focus on her and get deeply in to the kissing, DATY, cuddling, whatever it is, it will happen. You'll be fine! B)

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Yeah that's defo a good idea but it kinda falls into the embarassment catorgory (stupid I know :( ) and the 'I've got a beautiful girl sat next to me why would I even think about NOT letting her do it' area, but yep as a last resort I'll do it.

I totally understand the embarrassment factor but it's a mental barrier you'll learn to cross sooner rather than later. WGs are pretty unshockable, so there is absolutely nothing to worry about in asking to do things your way during the punt (provided it's respectful and doesn't cross any boundaries the girl defines).

Both the WG you have booked and yourself will have a much better experience if your friend down below can be encouraged to perform (I am pretty sure you'll be fine by the way). Does it matter who does what to whom as long as the end result is good ?

Let us know how you get on.

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I remember my first time with a WG staying hard wasn't the problem,but i couldn't cum.The second time the same problem.The third time we were only about 15mins in and were having a really good snog while she was fondling me very slowly,and i wasn't even thinking of cumming and it just suddenly happened.She said sorry but i was over the moon!!From then on it was no problem.So it really is all in the mind as most things in life are.

Even now i find the kissing and fondling method brings me off very quickly,and have to get the lady to stop if we are only a few mins in.So don't worry it will be fine,like falling off a log,or the bed in my case once LOL.couldn't stop laughing.

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