jaycloth

And The Lived Happily Ever After - Maybe.

64 posts in this topic

Following a long sob story in this thread:

http://punternet.com/forum/index.php?/topic/16770-morals/page__view__findpost__p__286810

Well, to quote Elton John, it's a little bit funny.

But things changed.

We had the mother of all rows after I got fed up with the usual rejections. I told her how I felt, and she cried a lot, and still didn't understand. So I left it, and things went back to normal.

The next week was our wedding anniversary. I knew she had been after this pair of sunglasses (Tom Ford Whitneys, if that means anything), so I went out and got them for her. She (as usual) hadn't got me anything - but for some strange reason, the sunglasses sent her a bit crazy. They're by no means the most expensive thing I've ever got her, but she just started to go on and on about how they were too expensive, and she insisted we take them back then and there. (I was - WTF? I thought you wanted them) - and frankly I was shocked - I was thinking, "not only do you reject me, but you even reject presents too, now". I was just quiet for a few hours - but something must have clicked inside her, because she told me later that she wasn't going to be like that to me any more, and she'd treat me better.

I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but the next evening, for the first time ever, she gave me a blowjob without me having to *literally* beg her. For the last week, she's come to bed with only her knickers on (which is like a 400% improvement) and has had a naturally wet pussy for the first time in years.

Maybe it will last - maybe it won't. I'm not even quite sure what has happened. But for the first time in maybe a decade I'm happy. She even said if I wanted to I could cum on her pussy or belly. When it came to it - I actually didn't feel the need.

So that's it. Maybe all you need to do is buy sunglasses.

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Or maybe she has read your posts on here?

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If it keeps going will you stop punting?

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Ahh, we do like a happy ending.

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That is seriously good news. I'm literally welling up here. Let's hope it lasts, you have the patience of a saint.

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That is seriously good news. I'm literally welling up here. Let's hope it lasts, you have the patience of a saint.

Excellent news, I hope it goes well too.

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Or maybe she has read your posts on here?

I think if she did that, it's more likely that she would have done away with me by some means.

If it keeps going will you stop punting?

Yup. In fact, I've already stopped. I haven't had FS for about 6 months now. I'll give it a few weeks, and if it keeps up I'll see my regular masseuse for one last time (with an unhappy ending methinks) give her a tip and ask her not to take my calls anymore.

That is seriously good news. I'm literally welling up here. Let's hope it lasts, you have the patience of a saint.

Excellent news, I hope it goes well too.

You're both too kind. Thanks. We're like one big family.

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Post Script:

Got a refund for the sunglasses, too! So it all worked out!

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Ah that's so lovely to hear :D so many of my clients say that they just wouldn't do this if only their wives would make love to them again. Good luck and long may it continue xx

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She even said if I wanted to I could cum on her pussy or belly. When it came to it - I actually didn't feel the need.

I don't get this bit :blink:

Please don't take offence but there is a very realistic possibility that you might just be doing this poor woman's head in (and I ain't a marriage guidance counsellor !).

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I have never experienced being in a relationship with a woman who doesn't want sex. This is probably because I have never been married and none of my relationships have been that long. For that reason I am always curious as to what is going wrong with relationships where the woman no longer wants sex.

I can think of 4 reason why a woman would stop having sex:

1. She never liked sex in the first place, probably due to some sort of psychological problem connected to sex/physical intimacy, and simply put up with it to get a man and/or have children. Once she has what she wants she gives up something she has always found distasteful.

2. Some sort of physiological change, due either to childbirth or menopause, or maybe to another physical cause, which has made sex not pleasurable any more.

3. She doesn't love the man, or love him enough, to have sex with him any more. That may be due to his infidelity, selfishness, taking her for granted, boring her, treating her unkindly, or just a natural parting of souls.

4. The man has always been such a bad lover that she can no longer take his useless technique in bed any more.

Given that all people, however good or bad, nice or nasty, are designed by nature to have and enjoy sex, then something must be wrong, other than the woman being some sort of bitch and withholding sex for fun, or to be cruel.

I wonder how frankly most couples talk about this problem. Probably many women feel that turning the conversation to matters sexual is an attempt to pressure her into sex indirectly. If I was ever in this position I would certainly ask if she no longer loved me enough to have sex with me, and whether she no longer fancied me in the way that I did her. I would want to know which of these 4 things it was (or maybe another I haven't thought of) and wouldn't rest until she told me the true reason sex was no longer on the menu, or given begrudgingly.

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I don't get this bit :blink:

You remember Alien and Aliens with Sigourney Weaver? You know how the aliens had blood that was concentrated acid that would burn right through your flesh? That's what my wife used to think semen would do to her skin if it touched her. (Although funnily enough, not from the inside).

Please don't take offence but there is a very realistic possibility that you might just be doing this poor woman's head in (and I ain't a marriage guidance counsellor !).

Anything's possible. I think that I had gone out of my way over the years to make her happy, though. And my sexual "demands" were not what I would think the average person would deem to be onerous. This is obviously completely the wrong forum to ask - but do you think a blanket ban on blowjobs is unreasonable?

I have never experienced being in a relationship with a woman who doesn't want sex. This is probably because I have never been married and none of my relationships have been that long. For that reason I am always curious as to what is going wrong with relationships where the woman no longer wants sex. I can think of 4 reason why a woman would stop having sex:1. She never liked sex in the first place, probably due to some sort of psychological problem connected to sex/physical intimacy, and simply put up with it to get a man and/or have children. Once she has what she wants she gives up something she has always found distasteful.2. Some sort of physiological change, due either to childbirth or menopause, or maybe to another physical cause, which has made sex not pleasurable any more.3. She doesn't love the man, or love him enough, to have sex with him any more. That may be due to his infidelity, selfishness, taking her for granted, boring her, treating her unkindly, or just a natural parting of souls.4. The man has always been such a bad lover that she can no longer take his useless technique in bed any more.Given that all people, however good or bad, nice or nasty, are designed by nature to have and enjoy sex, then something must be wrong, other than the woman being some sort of bitch and withholding sex for fun, or to be cruel. I wonder how frankly most couples talk about this problem. Probably many women feel that turning the conversation to matters sexual is an attempt to pressure her into sex indirectly. If I was ever in this position I would certainly ask if she no longer loved me enough to have sex with me, and whether she no longer fancied me in the way that I did her. I would want to know which of these 4 things it was (or maybe another I haven't thought of) and wouldn't rest until she told me the true reason sex was no longer on the menu, or given begrudgingly.

I think the confusion set in for me when there was a combination of problems. When early on in your relationship things are fine, but they tail of gradually until you are not really doing much of anything - it's so incremental that you don't notice until one morning you find you're really fed up. One common theme that I find a lot of blokes have agreed with me on is that the men will do whatever the wives want and give them whatever they want - as to refuse to do so would be unreasonable. However, the wives feel no obligation whatsoever to reciprocate, and then muddy the waters by agreeing to do things as "rewards".

There's one of the big problems. If you have an intimacy issue which means you don't want to give or receive oral sex - that's one thing. The big questions are: (1) is it really so terrible that you can't do it to make your husband happy? and (2) why are you willing to do it in return for something that you want - a new car, a new kitchen, a holiday?

Now that I'm having an (albeit embryonic)sex renaissance with my wife, I'm happy to shut up and enjoy it. There are big questions that have occurred to me, but I won't go there with her -like why is she willing to do these things all of a sudden, if they were so distasteful previously? What has changed?

Edited by jaycloth

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I have to admit Jaycloth that the cynic in me says that she's having an affair and that this is her way of making it up to you.

However it may well be that you've finally got through to her with that last row and that she has realised what it means to you.

I truly hope it's the latter. Best of luck - it sounds like you deserve it.

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I have to admit Jaycloth that the cynic in me says that she's having an affair and that this is her way of making it up to you.

Like I say - anything's possible - but given how she's been for years - I doubt it. And if she is having an affair - who am I to grumble? Look what I've been doing.

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You remember Alien and Aliens with Sigourney Weaver? You know how the aliens had blood that was concentrated acid that would burn right through your flesh? That's what my wife used to think semen would do to her skin if it touched her. (Although funnily enough, not from the inside).

Anything's possible. I think that I had gone out of my way over the years to make her happy, though. And my sexual "demands" were not what I would think the average person would deem to be onerous. This is obviously completely the wrong forum to ask - but do you think a blanket ban on blowjobs is unreasonable?

I think the confusion set in for me when there was a combination of problems. When early on in your relationship things are fine, but they tail of gradually until you are not really doing much of anything - it's so incremental that you don't notice until one morning you find you're really fed up. One common theme that I find a lot of blokes have agreed with me on is that the men will do whatever the wives want and give them whatever they want - as to refuse to do so would be unreasonable. However, the wives feel no obligation whatsoever to reciprocate, and then muddy the waters by agreeing to do things as "rewards".

There's one of the big problems. If you have an intimacy issue which means you don't want to give or receive oral sex - that's one thing. The big questions are: (1) is it really so terrible that you can't do it to make your husband happy? and (2) why are you willing to do it in return for something that you want - a new car, a new kitchen, a holiday?

Now that I'm having an (albeit embryonic)sex renaissance with my wife, I'm happy to shut up and enjoy it. There are big questions that have occurred to me, but I won't go there with her -like why is she willing to do these things all of a sudden, if they were so distasteful previously? What has changed?

Have to say I agree with your POV wholeheartedly

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Ok, boys and girls.

I've filed my last FR. I've thrown away my punting SIM. I've thrown away all my numbers. If I had a pair of punting trousers, I'd throw them away too.

It's been great fun, and I I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy almost all of it. This place has been great too - especially the antics of the nutters like JRC and Mrs. Smith.

This is my last post, so let me leave you with this:

1. Smiths, Steve2 and Zzorro are like London Punting Jedi-masters. Listen to them and respect their powers.

2. Please stop the food-related jokes on the massage forum. It's getting old.

3. Fluffies - it doesn't work.

4. All those of you that have contacted me saying how your married lives are a bit like mine - keep your peckers up. I'll still answer PMs if you want to talk. Just believe that you can change things, but don't get taken for a mug.

5. Girls - sterling work and respect to you all. Three words: Real Proper Stockings. From hosiery brands, not sex-wear brands. Punters can tell the difference.

Bye!

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Ok, boys and girls.

I've filed my last FR. I've thrown away my punting SIM. I've thrown away all my numbers. If I had a pair of punting trousers, I'd throw them away too.

It's been great fun, and I I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy almost all of it. This place has been great too - especially the antics of the nutters like JRC and Mrs. Smith.

This is my last post, so let me leave you with this:

1. Smiths, Steve2 and Zzorro are like London Punting Jedi-masters. Listen to them and respect their powers.

2. Please stop the food-related jokes on the massage forum. It's getting old.

3. Fluffies - it doesn't work.

4. All those of you that have contacted me saying how your married lives are a bit like mine - keep your peckers up. I'll still answer PMs if you want to talk. Just believe that you can change things, but don't get taken for a mug.

5. Girls - sterling work and respect to you all. Three words: Real Proper Stockings. From hosiery brands, not sex-wear brands. Punters can tell the difference.

Bye!

Best of luck jaycloth,and thanks for sharing

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It looks like my advice to Jaycloth's wife worked well.

I always knew when Jaycloth was with his favourite masseuse, I saw his car outside, so I popped round to his place to educate his wife.

The things some of us have to do to make couples happy. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

Seriously JC, if you are still reading this forum, I hope it all works out for you, and all the money you save on no more punting and no more buying expensive sun glasses will buy you lots of romantic holidays for 2 with her indoors.

Keep us informed on any developments, and don't let her take you on a second honeymoon to South Africa.

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I'd just like to add a post script to this:

End of the year. My wife's metamorphosis didn't last. After a couple of months she went back to her old ways. Basically, I think she just felt guilty over a particular incident at the time. The blowjobs went back to a rate of about 1 per week (which isn't bad, I suppose), she's wearing a t-shirt and cardigan for sex again, and her pussy is generally as dry as Jack Dee performing live in Basra.

I didn't go back to punting, though. Not sure why.

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Sorry to hear about that :)

Only 1 answer im afraid

(null)

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Sorry posting on iPhone

That smiley should have been a frown :(

(null)

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I'm sorry to say that I'm not that surprised; once the passion has gone I can't see that any amount of "talking it through" is going to get it back - probably quite the opposite.

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JC sorry to hear about your situation. Roles reversed its similar to mine. Found out that my husband punted huge argument as one can imagine. Pleaded for forgiveness said he wouldn't do it again etc, etc. We had loads of sex but now things are back to the way they used to be. I never with held on the sex front, infact would have it everyday if I could. This now makes me think that he is back to punting. Perhaps like some on here he just wants variety.

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Buddy, she's just not that into you. Sounds like the time has come to take action:

(1) weigh up what's most important in your life

(2) take steps to ensure you can hold onto it

(3) ditch everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING

(4) live happily ever after

It's a painful process but the result is to die a free man rather than live on your knees..

PM me for more details / my story if you're interested.

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Having read jaycloth's Epistle to the Hooker in the other thread (was away from UK when first posted), his situation is like so many blokes, but you cant help but empathise. It's a really awful situation, and I suspect, he sticks it out because he'd be so financially worse off if they split. It's a mirror situation for thousands of blokes - we love out wives, want rampant horny sex but never get a sniff, but divorce is a non-starter.

We'll never understand the pschye of women. I bought mine a new(er) car, paid off all the debts, had the house painted, took her to Venice for a romantic weekend, etc, etc, and being honest, had more chance of fucking the chambermaid than Mrs T in Venice.

Not only that, sex happens only when SHE wants it to, so in the same way I've had refusals when I've needed it, now she gets refusals from me, and she doesn't understand it. :D Not only that, on Christmas Eve, because our kids were around, she suggested we went to the garden shed for a quick fuck!!!! I mean WTF? I was shocked and rather offended that we had to act like a couple of teenagers, and again refused, because we've had opportunities, but 'she had other things to do'.

And I've decided to continue to refuse until she consents to start by giving me a BJ - something she always did, then stopped for reasons still unclear. Considering sex has been so infrequent - I've had more fucks with WGs this year than Mrs T - I feel it's time I was in the driving seat. The worm is turning.........In discussion, she says she'll try and make an effort, but never does. So no BJs, no sexy undies, no proper sex - bet this sounds familiar. No wonder we see WGs. I've also refused to undertake any DIY jobs in retalliation.

I am becoming convinced this is a purely a power/control thing many married women want to exert on men.

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