Sarah Summers

Mind Games

20 posts in this topic

When I get an email from a guy wanting to see me for the first time, I am always uncomfortable for lots of reasons.

I don't want this to sound like a 'sour grapes' post because it is not meant to be so, but way back when I had a rough patch ( got outed by fellow working girls) I was wary of seeing new guys in case they were friends of friends etc etc............

People judge a working girl when they hear tittle tattle, and mud sticks. I was told by one guy that another working girl had encouraged him to see me so he could report back to her 'what I was really like'.

Another time a guy wrote to me displaying his punter 'handle' on his email. I thought I recognised the name and took a peek on here, saw he wrote reviews, and freaked out. I told a WG friend, who instantly told me not to see him. I replied thanking him for his email ( which was perfectly nice) and told him I was uncomfortable about seeing some people, and that I would rather decline. He was very patient with me, and wrote back saying there was no agenda, and that he genuinely wanted to see me. Eventually he did, and he was a really nice person.

I got him completely wrong. He had displayed his handle to put me at ease............

I get nervous if a reviewer of ladies wants to see me, because I feel there is some kind of performance mark, and that they do not base their opinions of the lady or the quality of the punt, but compare punt for punt using other ladies as yardsticks to compare............. which is daft I know :)

I am my own worst enemy. I cut my nose off to spite my face at times, I supose because I was bitten hard by some folks, and it is hard to shake that train of thought off.

So my question here is.......... to the guys first. Would a large number ( or no number at all ) of reviews put you off seeing a lady? Do you use the review system as an important part of your search criteria when making a decision who to see ( or not to) and would it make any difference to you if you had heard something negative by another service provider - would it put you off wanting to see her?

And to the ladies...... does it put you off seeing a guy if you feel you are going to be instantly judged (marks out of ten for looks/clothing/performance etc etc) the moment your guy walks through the door because you know he writes lots of reviews?

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When I get an email from a guy wanting to see me for the first time, I am always uncomfortable for lots of reasons.

I don't want this to sound like a 'sour grapes' post because it is not meant to be so, but way back when I had a rough patch ( got outed by fellow working girls) I was wary of seeing new guys in case they were friends of friends etc etc............

People judge a working girl when they hear tittle tattle, and mud sticks. I was told by one guy that another working girl had encouraged him to see me so he could report back to her 'what I was really like'.

Another time a guy wrote to me displaying his punter 'handle' on his email. I thought I recognised the name and took a peek on here, saw he wrote reviews, and freaked out. I told a WG friend, who instantly told me not to see him. I replied thanking him for his email ( which was perfectly nice) and told him I was uncomfortable about seeing some people, and that I would rather decline. He was very patient with me, and wrote back saying there was no agenda, and that he genuinely wanted to see me. Eventually he did, and he was a really nice person.

I got him completely wrong. He had displayed his handle to put me at ease............

I get nervous if a reviewer of ladies wants to see me, because I feel there is some kind of performance mark, and that they do not base their opinions of the lady or the quality of the punt, but compare punt for punt using other ladies as yardsticks to compare............. which is daft I know :)

I am my own worst enemy. I cut my nose off to spite my face at times, I supose because I was bitten hard by some folks, and it is hard to shake that train of thought off.

So my question here is.......... to the guys first. Would a large number ( or no number at all ) of reviews put you off seeing a lady? Do you use the review system as an important part of your search criteria when making a decision who to see ( or not to) and would it make any difference to you if you had heard something negative by another service provider - would it put you off wanting to see her?

And to the ladies...... does it put you off seeing a guy if you feel you are going to be instantly judged (marks out of ten for looks/clothing/performance etc etc) the moment your guy walks through the door because you know he writes lots of reviews?

Whether the lady had 100s of field reports or none at all, makes no difference to me. I like to speak to her on the phone and decide for myself whether she is right for me. Anyway, a large number of FRs are fake or not completely truthful, so the system cannot be trusted.

Likewise, if I had heard something negative about a WG from one of her colleagues or another SP, I would (and have done) speak to the WG about this (without revealing who gave me the negative remarks) and ask her to clear things up. I think you will find that there are often a lot of sour grapes between WGs and you can't really rely on hearsay, especially if it comes from 1) another SP or 2) a punter.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with a punter asking another punter about "what she is really like" - but I do find it quite disturbing that another SP would ask a punter to book you and report back to her - how stupid of the punter to even consider booking for this purpose.

Sarah, I can see why meeting a punter that writes lots of reviews would make you nervous, but the answer is quite simple, why worry if you're good at what you do? I know it is easier said than done, but this is one of the reasons I stopped doing FRs a long time ago (before my retirement from paying for sexual services). Getting too involved with PN and the characters on PN causes problems, for me anyway. I'd rather stay in my isolated state and see, or not see, who I choose without getting involved in the politics on here.

Edited by ClarenceNightingale

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So my question here is.......... to the guys first. Would a large number ( or no number at all ) of reviews put you off seeing a lady? Do you use the review system as an important part of your search criteria when making a decision who to see ( or not to) and would it make any difference to you if you had heard something negative by another service provider - would it put you off wanting to see her?

If a girl is established I would expect to find FRs and if the majority were favourable it might influence me. However, if a girl is new and doesn't have any reviews then it would not put me off if I could speak to, or email her to assess her compatibility. There's a level of honesty operating within the FR system and the occasional bad FR among a sea of otherwise complimentary reviews would usually be discounted by most punters. As for listening to other punters, well that's something I take with a pinch of salt too. If a girl is being slated by simply everyone then I would take notice, but the occasional criticism from a cranky individual I would ignore. Most of us can separate the well-intentioned from the wilfully unpleasant.

If you're offering a good service you have nothing to worry about. To get an unfavourable review it really has to be either an outstandingly poor experience or the harsh words of a miserable wingnut who probably doesn't have a good word to say about anyone. We know the difference.

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It's easier to think about this if you transpose it to another line of business. If you were a hairdresser would you be nervous of new customers in case they wrote something bad on the internet? Restaurants live and die by reviews, and yes they do get malicious reviews written by rivals. Whatever you do you should treat customers as though the word of what you will do will spread. Hey, sometimes word of mouth is the most powerful advertising.

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I find positive FRs to be helpful in my decision process. Sarah, if you're as lovely in person (which i'm sure you are) as on the forum then you have nothing to worry about at all. I tend to write FRs for a really good 1st experience with someone and if they're new to help them meet more people. The only negative FRs i've ever wrote have come from rip offs from the Amsterdam RLD. So, touch wood, hopefully i'll never have to write a bad FR for anyone ever again.

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Oh honey!! The first time I saw a guy who revealed himself to be a regular on this forum I got freaked out- it reminded me of my days in hotel/restaurant management when we figured out someone was a mystery shopper. It made me nervous and try too hard and I probably wasn't at my best due to this! No report has appeared yet, so totally get how you feel! So yeah, whilst I want to increase my profile by being on here and I know a good FR helps a girl get new clients I am a bit scared one day someone will write something not very complimentary about me on here!

I too was outed in the worst most public way you could imagine so am full of paranoia sometimes! I feel ya girl!

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i treat all my clients the same, obviously if its someone you have met before and are familiar with then its far easier as you are more relaxed

personally i prefer not to know if someone writes reviews,good or bad ones, that way i dont feel under any pressure from them, also some reviewers especially in Ireland do tend to assume that because they write review they should get preferential treatment over non reviewers and this can cause problems

i also think it depends on what the reviews are like as well, if it seem that they are all malicious, spiteful and mainly negative then then maybe your right to avoid that person

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When I get an email from a guy wanting to see me for the first time, I am always uncomfortable for lots of reasons.

I don't want this to sound like a 'sour grapes' post because it is not meant to be so, but way back when I had a rough patch ( got outed by fellow working girls) I was wary of seeing new guys in case they were friends of friends etc etc............

People judge a working girl when they hear tittle tattle, and mud sticks. I was told by one guy that another working girl had encouraged him to see me so he could report back to her 'what I was really like'.

Another time a guy wrote to me displaying his punter 'handle' on his email. I thought I recognised the name and took a peek on here, saw he wrote reviews, and freaked out. I told a WG friend, who instantly told me not to see him. I replied thanking him for his email ( which was perfectly nice) and told him I was uncomfortable about seeing some people, and that I would rather decline. He was very patient with me, and wrote back saying there was no agenda, and that he genuinely wanted to see me. Eventually he did, and he was a really nice person.

I got him completely wrong. He had displayed his handle to put me at ease............

I get nervous if a reviewer of ladies wants to see me, because I feel there is some kind of performance mark, and that they do not base their opinions of the lady or the quality of the punt, but compare punt for punt using other ladies as yardsticks to compare............. which is daft I know :)

I am my own worst enemy. I cut my nose off to spite my face at times, I supose because I was bitten hard by some folks, and it is hard to shake that train of thought off.

So my question here is.......... to the guys first. Would a large number ( or no number at all ) of reviews put you off seeing a lady? Do you use the review system as an important part of your search criteria when making a decision who to see ( or not to) and would it make any difference to you if you had heard something negative by another service provider - would it put you off wanting to see her?

And to the ladies...... does it put you off seeing a guy if you feel you are going to be instantly judged (marks out of ten for looks/clothing/performance etc etc) the moment your guy walks through the door because you know he writes lots of reviews?

Personal recommendations by punters i know or trust are the very best thing to get in my experience, that works in warning me off certain WGs as well, in fact this scenario occured recently so as i trust that punter i didnt make a booking that i was going to.

A large number of reviews and/or feedback on here thats recent and by reviewers with a track record that i think or know are genuine is the next best thing to go by. I look for specific things in reviews and feedback, something about the WGs friendliness and/or enthusiasm, confimation of her pictures being at least reasonably accurate and she actually offers the services i require.

I regularly punt with WGs with zero or little feedback off the purple site, i dont trust any feedback on their anyway as the system has more holes in it than a string vest in my opinion of using it for many years. I go on initial contact and my instincts always only wanting to speak on the phone with newbies to me, only by text or email is not acceptable to me. Punting has no guarantees so i accept punting for variety means i will have bad punts at some time, been a long time since i have though fortunately.

In my experiences especially in group flats and parlours but also with a small number of Indies, some slag their colleagues/other WGs off which i always take with a pinch of salt as i automatically assume its to retain my business exclusively. Whats been striking is the number of WGs in these environments that have really got annoyed when i have punted with their colleague/s rather than sticking with them. I punt as suits me, variety is my spice of life along with great reliable regulars. Since i have been a member here i have punted with 14 past or present WG members, a couple i didnt even know they were members as they didnt post often and all punts were good or better. I decided some time ago not to punt with any in future.:)

Edited by smiths

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Yes definitely FRs are an important source of information, and I take especial notice if they are well written e.g. Mr Bloom, I like his style. And a negative FR certainly puts me off, why risk it when there is so much choice?

If you feel you have had an unfair report then write a rebuttal, but take your time, write it well with a clear head...

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I think as a WG you live and die by your reputation just like any other business. Obviously the more information to hand, the easier it is to make an informed choice. I prefer it if there are at least a couple of FRs plus some positive comments made on these boards. I hardly ever see a WG who hasn't had some sort of feedback in one of these two ways.

I would take any comments made by another SP about a WG with a pinch of salt, they may not be particularly impartial, they could even be competitors.

I do think that word of mouth and good FRs are powerful in marketing terms for WGs. Sometimes I've had up to 20 guys contact me by PM about a WG I may have referred to in a post.

Although it has its flaws, I think the FR system is a broadly positive force. I always ask the lady if I can write a FR - sometimes they say yes and a significant number of times they ask me not to. I do note though that when I have submitted a good FR, the lady has treated me very well on following visits. :)

Edited by pvcman

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I hadn't thought of it before but I guess all of who write FR's are "mystery shoppers". As in any service industry, the workers should remember that bad publicity travels faster than good and they should treat all clients with decency and respect. (The same goes for clients treating the workers the same way).

I have never hidden the fact that I write reports and don't believe a WG has ever refused to meet me on those grounds.

I also like to have short chat on the phone as part of the booking process. Tomorrow I am breaking that rule so we shall see if my usual procedure is due for a change.

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I hadn't thought of it before but I guess all of who write FR's are "mystery shoppers". As in any service industry, the workers should remember that bad publicity travels faster than good and they should treat all clients with decency and respect. (The same goes for clients treating the workers the same way).

I have never hidden the fact that I write reports and don't believe a WG has ever refused to meet me on those grounds.

I also like to have short chat on the phone as part of the booking process. Tomorrow I am breaking that rule so we shall see if my usual procedure is due for a change.

Absolutely, all customers whether of a restaurant, shop or WG should be treated the same and in the right way regardless of who they are or when they visit- a good girl won't have anything to worry about but as I said before if I knew a chap was into writing reports it would make me a little nervous!

Do report back on your rule changing visit!

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Absolutely, all customers whether of a restaurant, shop or WG should be treated the same and in the right way regardless of who they are or when they visit- a good girl won't have anything to worry about but as I said before if I knew a chap was into writing reports it would make me a little nervous!

Do report back on your rule changing visit!

Can't understand why this should be.If your attitude, and attention to good service etc is good you need have nothing to fear, and may even gain more admirers via a good FR or two.

Will let you know how tomorrow goes.

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For me I always prefer reviews from trusted punters, however that said I'm also not afraid to see a girls with 0 reviews. What I won't do is see a girls if she has ever has a bad review. To be honest after you have had some experience at this game you can usually work out who the good providers are and who to avoid and then if you get it wrong with the research, I can normally tell in the first few mins of the meeting by her attitude.

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Can't understand why this should be.If your attitude, and attention to good service etc is good you need have nothing to fear, and may even gain more admirers via a good FR or two.

Will let you know how tomorrow goes.

Because it's human nature- if your boss or someone in control of your payrise stood over you at work watching and assessing you'd probably feel conscious or nervous- well a lot of people would!

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Because it's human nature- if your boss or someone in control of your payrise stood over you at work watching and assessing you'd probably feel conscious or nervous- well a lot of people would!

The client is in charge of your pay rate. Poor performance will result in fewer return bookings.

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If I opt to book a female poster on these boards, I always let them know who I am in advance. I have never been turned down yet, but would understand it if they didn't want to accept the booking knowing I may write a review or mention the booking on the boards (I rarely do the latter btw, unless it's in direct reply to an RFI). In the main, I have found those punts where we partially know each other from here a lot more fun than many "start from scratch" bookings. This is partly due to a superficial shared interest but probably more down to the fact that if I choose a lady from on here, it's because I like their personality and suspect we'd get on for an hour or two. Usually I am right.

I don't play mind games with it at all, but I understand that some punters and WGs can. I guess we all work off our own personal warning radar and if yours is telling you that something about the booking is uncomfortable, it's best not to go ahead with it. Being nervous because someone may write a review on you is only natural.

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In my experiences especially in group flats and parlours but also with a small number of Indies, some slag their colleagues/other WGs off which i always take with a pinch of salt as i automatically assume its to retain my business exclusively. Whats been striking is the number of WGs in these environments that have really got annoyed when i have punted with their colleague/s rather than sticking with them. I punt as suits me, variety is my spice of life along with great reliable regulars. ....

God yes. Downright treacherous. The gossip they can circulate about punters can be equally upsetting if you're the subject. I'd never encountered such a bitchfest, apart from senior NHS management who should be consigned to their own special circle of hell. It says a lot about my naivety.

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The client is in charge of your pay rate. Poor performance will result in fewer return bookings.

Exactly- I was making an analogy to explain why a WG might get nervous at the prospect of seeing a guy who reviews her.

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I don't mind if I know a client is a poster, or reviewer or not at all. What I don't like are those who play games, or think they might get a better time by promising an FR. I have been in a situation with a guy who after behaving quite oddly when placing his booking, edging on appearing to be a TW then said a few things which heavily implied he was a known member of a particular forum. Funnily enough stuff started appearing on that forum which backed this suspicion up, but didn't quite match with other things. All this did was make me extremely wary wondering what on earth was going on. Result was that it merely made it difficult for me to relax during the build up, and even during the date itself - which was a great pity for all concerned and I just couldn't see the point of creating that situation in the first place.

Apart from that it's no odds if someone is Mr Punternet, or simply someone who found my website elsewhere although I will admit to feeling a little under the eye at times!

Edited by Strawberry

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