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Helen Jones

Following On From The Retirement Thread..

16 posts in this topic

When I do retire, ( I have no immediate plans), I know I can walk away from escorting in general without looking back, without a guilt trip or regrets,

My only reservations is how I am going to handle the question of 'demobbing' the friends I have made while escorting. I have a handful of people I have met while escorting that I can genuinely call real friends. I doubt whether I could walk away from them as easily as I could the business. When I do retire I want to leave everything behind, yet I'm not too sure its possible.? A bit of a conundrum that will have to be dealt with one day.

Obviously there can't be any retired girls looking in who have completely walked away, so if you were an escorts bestest real friend ( as against a valued client!) how did you feel being unceromoniously cut off by her when she stepped back into her old shoes?

How best do we cut ties from one world to another without making friends feel unwanted and appearing uncaring. Its a difficult choice I'm not looking forward to making.

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Hmm interesting... I think maybe even though you think you want to leave everything behind there may well be people who enhance your life in some way and you find that you can't drop them and they would be worth keeping in your life. I think you'll just 'know' when the time comes. Surely as much as you are not defined only as an escort these friends aren't *just* defined by their role in your escorting world in that they make you happy/give good advice etc etc.

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I think I would be ok with my regular quitting the biz if she gave me plenty of notice, I would hate to go looking for her online one day and find she'd vanished without a trace. And if she wanted to give me her msn address or personal mobile number I would probably say hi every now and again to see how life is treating her.

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I think I would be ok with my regular quitting the biz if she gave me plenty of notice, I would hate to go looking for her online one day and find she'd vanished without a trace. And if she wanted to give me her msn address or personal mobile number I would probably say hi every now and again to see how life is treating her.

Many regulars over the years have just disappeared out of the blue in my experience without a word, some i had thought i had been quite friendly with. :)

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Many regulars over the years have just disappeared out of the blue in my experience without a word, some i had thought i had been quite friendly with. :)

It is odd when punters or providers disappear into the ether. It's the up and downside of attending this perpetual masked ball.

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It is odd when punters or providers disappear into the ether. It's the up and downside of attending this perpetual masked ball.

Many years ago i was concerned when a WG disappeared thinking perhaps something had happened to her only to discover she was working still in another area. I have learnt to accept it happens and move on mentally wishing her the best and that its obviously her way of starting afresh. :)

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Helen, it's an extremely difficult situation and somewhat determined by where your new life is taking you. In my situation I lost touch with a few very dear friends. I do think about them and wonder how they are. It really is sad sometimes. I still have a memory box with cards, poems, clippings and such like that I pull out occasionally and reminisce. There will always be fondness and emotion involved but little we can do to maintain connections with friends who were also our sex partners. That's not always easy or appropriate.

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When I do retire, ( I have no immediate plans), I know I can walk away from escorting in general without looking back, without a guilt trip or regrets,

My only reservations is how I am going to handle the question of 'demobbing' the friends I have made while escorting. I have a handful of people I have met while escorting that I can genuinely call real friends. I doubt whether I could walk away from them as easily as I could the business. When I do retire I want to leave everything behind, yet I'm not too sure its possible.? A bit of a conundrum that will have to be dealt with one day.

Obviously there can't be any retired girls looking in who have completely walked away, so if you were an escorts bestest real friend ( as against a valued client!) how did you feel being unceromoniously cut off by her when she stepped back into her old shoes?

How best do we cut ties from one world to another without making friends feel unwanted and appearing uncaring. Its a difficult choice I'm not looking forward to making.

Without wishing to blow your own trumpet for you, this is probably what makes you so good at what you do (at least by all accounts as we have not met). These forums (fora?) are filled with warnings against punters forming 'friendships' with working girls on the basis that the girls are probably just leading them up the garden path. Those working girls who can honestly admit to having feelings other than sexual for some of their clients are more likely to deliver much more in terms of the quality of services that they offer (outside of a straightforward sexual encounter). Bit more of a courtesan - or is that the ointment for itchy skin?

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- or is that the ointment for itchy skin?

Lest we go the way of Queen Hatshepsut we take great care as to how we salve ourselves.

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When I do retire, ( I have no immediate plans), I know I can walk away from escorting in general without looking back, without a guilt trip or regrets,

My only reservations is how I am going to handle the question of 'demobbing' the friends I have made while escorting. I have a handful of people I have met while escorting that I can genuinely call real friends. I doubt whether I could walk away from them as easily as I could the business. When I do retire I want to leave everything behind, yet I'm not too sure its possible.? A bit of a conundrum that will have to be dealt with one day.

Obviously there can't be any retired girls looking in who have completely walked away, so if you were an escorts bestest real friend ( as against a valued client!) how did you feel being unceromoniously cut off by her when she stepped back into her old shoes?

How best do we cut ties from one world to another without making friends feel unwanted and appearing uncaring. Its a difficult choice I'm not looking forward to making.

Are these friends friends of Helen Jones or friends of the real you? If the former and you really expect to walk away from your past then surely they have to go to? ‘Wanting to leave everything behind’ as you say, but maintaining some friendships is surely a contradiction.

Mind you, seeing CSM suddenly posting again after all these years is a bit alarming and demonstrates how difficult ‘not looking back’ is!

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Mind you, seeing CSM suddenly posting again after all these years is a bit alarming and demonstrates how difficult ‘not looking back’ is!

Just a demonstration of how we remember certain people form our past, business connections but at the same times friends, I've enjoyed some good memories today just provoked by CSMs' posts, I hope we don't have to wait several more years before we see more, she was always one of the more interesting ones.

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I suppose it is like that in any job. I am being threatened with redundancy and I know that within a week of leaving, no one will remember me at work or cross the street to hold a conversation. It was ever thus.

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I suppose it is like that in any job. I am being threatened with redundancy and I know that within a week of leaving, no one will remember me at work or cross the street to hold a conversation. It was ever thus.

I was made redundant many years ago and i had made very good friends there who i kept in contact with and still see a few of them to this day. :)

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Without wishing to blow your own trumpet for you, this is probably what makes you so good at what you do (at least by all accounts as we have not met). These forums (fora?) are filled with warnings against punters forming 'friendships' with working girls on the basis that the girls are probably just leading them up the garden path. Those working girls who can honestly admit to having feelings other than sexual for some of their clients are more likely to deliver much more in terms of the quality of services that they offer (outside of a straightforward sexual encounter). Bit more of a courtesan - or is that the ointment for itchy skin?

I think this works both ways. I pseudo-retired when I returned to the US, and I've tried to maintain friendships with a handful of regulars I had a connection with. I've found that many have difficulty with the transition. It's part meeting you in a stigmatized context, part having had sex, part recognizing that I'm a bit different from who I am as an escort. Men also just aren't good at re-coding.

But...it's a really valuable connection, and it's worth the effort if they're up for it. What I did was create a new email address and send a note to everyone I saw regularly, stating that I've retired but that I'd love to stay in touch, and to meet up for lunch/dinner if they pass through town. I think the best way to think about it, while fully transitioning out, is to just mental-recode and imagine you met the client/escort on a plane...lol. White wash out the sex bits in your mind, and the relationship is really similar to that with a stranger you just happened to sit with and have a really good conversation with on a flight.

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Lest we go the way of Queen Hatshepsut we take great care as to how we salve ourselves.

Would love to help in your salvation Helen.

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Helen, it's an extremely difficult situation and somewhat determined by where your new life is taking you. In my situation I lost touch with a few very dear friends. I do think about them and wonder how they are. It really is sad sometimes. I still have a memory box with cards, poems, clippings and such like that I pull out occasionally and reminisce. There will always be fondness and emotion involved but little we can do to maintain connections with friends who were also our sex partners. That's not always easy or appropriate.

Holy returnee Batman! There is a recent thread about old board members, have you visited it??

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