venturer

Girls, How Do You Do It?

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Following on from the discussion on the 'Guys, if you were female, would you be an Escort?' thread, I would sincerely like to know how you do it???

I genuinely don't understand how you girls can have sex with someone you don't find attractive, maybe even physically repulsive, let alone appear to enjoy it, someone please please explain it to me!!! :blink: I just couldn't get aroused with someone I wasn't attracted to. I suppose for a girl, arousal isn't absolutely necessary to have sex as lube can make up for any deficiency there.

As punters we can be quite fussy as to who we see, but you girls almost have to take who ever comes through the door and make the best of it, my hat goes off to you!! So many girls would never be able to do what you do, without getting to know the guy a bit first and finding him attractive.

Of course I'm so happy that there are so many of you that can do this, I do try my hardest to make the experience as easy as possible for the girls I see by being squeaky clean, groomed, polite, interestingly conversational, respectful and hopefully not too unattractive. I've been rewarded with so many delightful experiences, which I hope were equally pleasant for the girl involved, but there's no way I could do it for all the money in the world!!

So what enables you to do it?? Here are some of my ideas, shoot them down in flames if you like:

Do you just think about the money and that overrides any other consideration??

You are wired differently to other girls in that you can sleep with a complete stranger without compunction irrespective of whether you find them attractive or not?

Do you compress the 'getting to know a guy' bit into a really short space of time and quickly move on to the next stage?

Do you enter another 'zone' while you're working and separate it out mentally??

Do you find something about the client that you do find attractive and focus in on that??

Do you just love all men and can find any male attractive??

Do you enjoy using your femine attributes to arouse any man and see him climax as a result of your attentions?

Is there some traumatic experience in your past that has altered your view of things sexual?? (delicate subject I know)

Please help me out with this one as I'm really struggling with it. I've often wanted to ask a girl during a chat within a punt, but have thought it would be prying too much and probably kill the atmosphere if I probed to deeply.

Any thoughts welcome. :)

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Following on from the discussion on the 'Guys, if you were female, would you be an Escort?' thread, I would sincerely like to know how you do it???

I genuinely don't understand how you girls can have sex with someone you don't find attractive, maybe even physically repulsive, let alone appear to enjoy it, someone please please explain it to me!!! :blink: I just couldn't get aroused with someone I wasn't attracted to. I suppose for a girl, arousal isn't absolutely necessary to have sex as lube can make up for any deficiency there.

As punters we can be quite fussy as to who we see, but you girls almost have to take who ever comes through the door and make the best of it, my hat goes off to you!! So many girls would never be able to do what you do, without getting to know the guy a bit first and finding him attractive.

Of course I'm so happy that there are so many of you that can do this, I do try my hardest to make the experience as easy as possible for the girls I see by being squeaky clean, groomed, polite, interestingly conversational, respectful and hopefully not too unattractive. I've been rewarded with so many delightful experiences, which I hope were equally pleasant for the girl involved, but there's no way I could do it for all the money in the world!!

So what enables you to do it?? Here are some of my ideas, shoot them down in flames if you like:

Do you just think about the money and that overrides any other consideration??

You are wired differently to other girls in that you can sleep with a complete stranger without compunction irrespective of whether you find them attractive or not?

Do you compress the 'getting to know a guy' bit into a really short space of time and quickly move on to the next stage?

Do you enter another 'zone' while you're working and separate it out mentally??

Do you find something about the client that you do find attractive and focus in on that??

Do you just love all men and can find any male attractive??

Do you enjoy using your femine attributes to arouse any man and see him climax as a result of your attentions?

Is there some traumatic experience in your past that has altered your view of things sexual?? (delicate subject I know)

Please help me out with this one as I'm really struggling with it. I've often wanted to ask a girl during a chat within a punt, but have thought it would be prying too much and probably kill the atmosphere if I probed to deeply.

Any thoughts welcome. :)

Do you actually expect to get a straight and honest answer to this question?

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Do you actually expect to get a straight and honest answer to this question?

I know it's a difficult soul-searching question, but I was hoping the anonymity here might allow for a truthful response.

Have I really asked a question that's impossible to answer honestly?? :(

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This is something that has always intrigued me Venturer. I know it is a job I could never do myself (unless I was able to hand pick my clients!) It is why escorts and working girls have my utmost respect.

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Mmm...I think women are quite a bit different from men sexually. Generally, we're quite a bit less shallow.

Mmm...I think it's easy to find something attractive in almost anyone who's kind.

Maybe I took my mother's dictum "Love everybody who loves you" a bit too seriously...lol.

No - Maybe it's because I have moved around quite a bit and am used to getting to know people quickly? Maybe it's because I do tons of interviews for my day job and thus am fascinated by/have a genuine interest in getting to know people/know how to talk and get to know people quickly/know how to read people? So the whole "speed up the get-to-know-you" bit might be there.

I also act...

Otherwise, I like sex. I think I have sex only when I feel it's worthwhile. You never know if sex is going to be great or sucky with a stranger, so hard to tell, but obviously, a week's rent is worthwhile. And everything else (normally there's a lot else) is just an awesome bonus.

I think (maybe it's the same for men) sex is a lot more about how someone touches you and thrusts and how their skin and hair feels and how they smell and what their penis looks like and feeling in control and feeling valued and not taken advantage of and feeling like it's completely safe (IE, that they're not going to beat you up/pressure you to have sex without a condom/do something you don't want to do/tell all their friends that you've slept with them).

So...the money means that you're not being taken advantage of and that you're valued. When it's straightforward (you know you're going to have sex and aren't drunk) it's a lot easier to be in control (ie, condom use is taken for granted; and what other situation can you explicitly state in a friendly way 'I don't do anal or hard submission. Otherwise, what do you have in mind for this encounter? you also know when it's going to end, and the whole brief chat-sex-brief chat thing adds to that comfort.

So maybe...I think good sex for a woman is about conditions in which you feel comfortable with being warm and open and receptive and sexual, rather than damn-he's-so-fine. And being paid for being sexual and everything being straightforward really does that.

I also find that sort of kind/shy/awkwardness that a lot of new clients have really endearing/sweet/adorable, and I find assholes who get off on being a prick sort of funny. Across the board, it's this really weird sort of maternal/girly/caring thing: if they're nice, it's like, aww, I want to make you happy. If they're not, it's sort of bemusement...

"tsk tsk naughty boy okaaaay, I'm doing this, but you do know it's just because you're paying me--why do you think that it's okay to say/do x/y/z?" running on through my head. They normally end up nice by the end, though, which is endearing too. And sometimes there's chemistry-- regulars are just lovely. They're like good friends that you can talk to and have sex with and be a little bit more open with, but I guess the context and the money lets that happen?

I only get annoyed when they're someone who doesn't want to pay full-price or doesn't have all of the money or who I think is trying to cheat me. Because then it's like, why was I so nice to you?

Does that help?

So maybe - I'm a sweet person, I like to make people happy and entertain people.

I've also only ever done escort work, and I've been extremely lucky with my clients. I totally couldn't do this with drunk/smelly/rude people.

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I guess it's like: I like almost anyone (platonically) who likes me. If they think spending an hour with me is worth shelling out a huge wad of cash, it's very flattering; and the money, plus the fact that I'm very flattered, pretty much removes all of the mental barriers to having sex.

Plus, I don't want to hurt someone's feelings! If someone thinks sleeping with me is worth $350, then gosh, I'm going to do everything I can to transform that platonic like into something sexual!

And then other things turn me on -- hotel sheets, the naughtiness of being a hooker, the way someone touches me, sort of imagining watching myself...part of it is sort of imagining watching myself and touching myself...it's pretty narcissistic.

It's sort of a blend of narcissism, this submissive thing I have, a knack for connecting with people which produces this sort of distanced endearment to/fascination by a client that makes doing it really enjoyable, and fun and pretty joyful.

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I also think if all women thought like you, there'd only be survival prostitutes out there! So unless you get a "pimped/trafficked/beaten/drug-addict" vibe, I really wouldn't spend too much time thinking about it! (If you do get that vibe, please do something. I'm not a UK-er; there's that hot line. Not sure what else I'd recommend.)

Re traumatic...my parents were divorced. I was/am quite close with my father, but he's a bit of an arrogant/always-right prick. I wasn't very close with my mom growing up. My mom, like me, is a total people pleaser (she's a consultant, and is soooo great at making her clients feel special and happy! At the back of my mind I sorta think she'd have been a terrific escort. Lol. So maybe it's genetic. My grandmother, like me, is really good at reading people/pragmatic/good at charming and talking to people; she worked in commission retail in the mens department at a high-end department store... so maybe that's there too).

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Following on from the discussion on the 'Guys, if you were female, would you be an Escort?' thread, I would sincerely like to know how you do it???

I genuinely don't understand how you girls can have sex with someone you don't find attractive, maybe even physically repulsive, let alone appear to enjoy it, someone please please explain it to me!!! :blink: I just couldn't get aroused with someone I wasn't attracted to. I suppose for a girl, arousal isn't absolutely necessary to have sex as lube can make up for any deficiency there.

As punters we can be quite fussy as to who we see, but you girls almost have to take who ever comes through the door and make the best of it, my hat goes off to you!! So many girls would never be able to do what you do, without getting to know the guy a bit first and finding him attractive.

Of course I'm so happy that there are so many of you that can do this, I do try my hardest to make the experience as easy as possible for the girls I see by being squeaky clean, groomed, polite, interestingly conversational, respectful and hopefully not too unattractive. I've been rewarded with so many delightful experiences, which I hope were equally pleasant for the girl involved, but there's no way I could do it for all the money in the world!!

So what enables you to do it?? Here are some of my ideas, shoot them down in flames if you like:

Do you just think about the money and that overrides any other consideration??

You are wired differently to other girls in that you can sleep with a complete stranger without compunction irrespective of whether you find them attractive or not?

Do you compress the 'getting to know a guy' bit into a really short space of time and quickly move on to the next stage?

Do you enter another 'zone' while you're working and separate it out mentally??

Do you find something about the client that you do find attractive and focus in on that??

Do you just love all men and can find any male attractive??

Do you enjoy using your femine attributes to arouse any man and see him climax as a result of your attentions?

Is there some traumatic experience in your past that has altered your view of things sexual?? (delicate subject I know)

Please help me out with this one as I'm really struggling with it. I've often wanted to ask a girl during a chat within a punt, but have thought it would be prying too much and probably kill the atmosphere if I probed to deeply.

Any thoughts welcome. :)

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you :P

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It's a great feeling knowing that you are the reason for someones hard dick :)

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I only get annoyed when they're someone who doesn't want to pay full-price

I'm a sweet person, I like to make people happy and entertain people.

Thanks for your reply, Margaret, I think I understand your motivation, the money means you feel valued and then you feel able to give of yourself sexually to bring pleasure to a client who values you. You do sound a lovely giving caring person, you can even turn complete 'pricks' around in the short time you are with them, that's awesome!

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I really wouldn't spend too much time thinking about it!

I'm hoping that if I get some satisfying answers here, I can put it to rest.

It's a great feeling knowing that you are the reason for someones hard dick :)

I can understand that being the cause of someone's arousal could make you feel utterly empowered as a woman. It works the other way for me, I feel so powerfully masculine when a girl responds with obvious enjoyment, but I think I still would have to be physically attracted to her first.

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I'm hoping that if I get some satisfying answers here, I can put it to rest.

I can understand that being the cause of someone's arousal could make you feel utterly empowered as a woman. It works the other way for me, I feel so powerfully masculine when a girl responds with obvious enjoyment, but I think I still would have to be physically attracted to her first.

It's a purely sexual physical thing. It's why I do this - the buzz the turn on, the fun, the exitement, the will to please and be pleased - all of that and more - whatever is going on on my head at the time adds to the frisson.

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It's a purely sexual physical thing. It's why I do this - the buzz the turn on, the fun, the exitement, the will to please and be pleased - all of that and more - whatever is going on on my head at the time adds to the frisson.

In your words from another thread...Sarah you rude lady! :):D

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MargaretF - what a really great and considered response!

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Yes a lot of Margaret's answer rings very true for me too.

I think to be a happy successful escort you have to have a certain mindset and not equate sex with love etc!

I get off on sex with strangers and it really doesn't matter what a man looks like as long as he is clean and non smelly! I also get off on seeing a man turned on by me or in awe of my boobs so that helps, little show off I am!

I am very lucky, most my clients are spotless and sweet nice people. OK, some men I don't click with so an element of acting may come into it, and sometimes I do have to count the minutes and think of the money in my head, but more often than not I enjoy the encounter whether because he's a nice/funny/bright guy and/or he's turning me on with his moves!

As I said an escort must have a certain mindset else it would be a thoroughly miserable job!

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In my case I'm not an escort just an erotic masseuse. But I loooooooooooove men. Sometimes when I'm massaging a handsome cool guy I think to myself gOSH! I can't believe I'm getting payed to DO THIS!!! He should be paying me!!". Getting payed in exchange of sexual services (and I do believe that a happy ending massage is a sexual service) is my perfect excuse to sexually interact with a lot of men without having to entangle myself emotionally with them (that would be exausting!) So erotic massage lets me do that (grope men with the excuse of a massage lol). If I were not a sex worker I would be the neighbourhood slut, bedding all the men around me and having lotsa one night stands.So it's good i managed to channelize my raging hormones in a productive (profitable) way. On the other hand the fact that I like to grope them doesn't mean I would like to fuck them and that's why I chose massage.

I've always noticed that sex workers tend to have a very high libido (sex drive) and this job somehow lets them channelize it. Problem is the dangerous mixture of high libido with a low selfsteem ( that's another story). :unsure:

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I genuinely don't understand how you girls can have sex with someone you don't find attractive, maybe even physically repulsive,

I like to think a wg would walk rather than 'force' herself to go through something.

I think my mental health would suffer if I had to sleep with someone I found repulsive.

The thing is, while a person may not be all that in the looks dept, there may be other characteristics that are a huge turn on i.e personality, sexual chemistry, intelligence or whatever turns the individual wg on really.

You can usually find something attractive in a person...

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I like to think a wg would walk rather than 'force' herself to go through something.

I think my mental health would suffer if I had to sleep with someone I found repulsive.

The thing is, while a person may not be all that in the looks dept, there may be other characteristics that are a huge turn on i.e personality, sexual chemistry, intelligence or whatever turns the individual wg on really.

You can usually find something attractive in a person...

Excellent post. Sums it up for me too x

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Mmm...I think women are quite a bit different from men sexually. Generally, we're quite a bit less shallow.

Mmm...I think it's easy to find something attractive in almost anyone who's kind.

Maybe I took my mother's dictum "Love everybody who loves you" a bit too seriously...lol.

No - Maybe it's because I have moved around quite a bit and am used to getting to know people quickly? Maybe it's because I do tons of interviews for my day job and thus am fascinated by/have a genuine interest in getting to know people/know how to talk and get to know people quickly/know how to read people? So the whole "speed up the get-to-know-you" bit might be there.

I also act...

Otherwise, I like sex. I think I have sex only when I feel it's worthwhile. You never know if sex is going to be great or sucky with a stranger, so hard to tell, but obviously, a week's rent is worthwhile. And everything else (normally there's a lot else) is just an awesome bonus.

I think (maybe it's the same for men) sex is a lot more about how someone touches you and thrusts and how their skin and hair feels and how they smell and what their penis looks like and feeling in control and feeling valued and not taken advantage of and feeling like it's completely safe (IE, that they're not going to beat you up/pressure you to have sex without a condom/do something you don't want to do/tell all their friends that you've slept with them).

So...the money means that you're not being taken advantage of and that you're valued. When it's straightforward (you know you're going to have sex and aren't drunk) it's a lot easier to be in control (ie, condom use is taken for granted; and what other situation can you explicitly state in a friendly way 'I don't do anal or hard submission. Otherwise, what do you have in mind for this encounter? you also know when it's going to end, and the whole brief chat-sex-brief chat thing adds to that comfort.

So maybe...I think good sex for a woman is about conditions in which you feel comfortable with being warm and open and receptive and sexual, rather than damn-he's-so-fine. And being paid for being sexual and everything being straightforward really does that.

I also find that sort of kind/shy/awkwardness that a lot of new clients have really endearing/sweet/adorable, and I find assholes who get off on being a prick sort of funny. Across the board, it's this really weird sort of maternal/girly/caring thing: if they're nice, it's like, aww, I want to make you happy. If they're not, it's sort of bemusement...

"tsk tsk naughty boy okaaaay, I'm doing this, but you do know it's just because you're paying me--why do you think that it's okay to say/do x/y/z?" running on through my head. They normally end up nice by the end, though, which is endearing too. And sometimes there's chemistry-- regulars are just lovely. They're like good friends that you can talk to and have sex with and be a little bit more open with, but I guess the context and the money lets that happen?

I only get annoyed when they're someone who doesn't want to pay full-price or doesn't have all of the money or who I think is trying to cheat me. Because then it's like, why was I so nice to you?

Does that help?

So maybe - I'm a sweet person, I like to make people happy and entertain people.

I've also only ever done escort work, and I've been extremely lucky with my clients. I totally couldn't do this with drunk/smelly/rude people.

What you describe above (appart from the sex part) is typical of any interpersonal business transaction at Waitrose or the BP garage etc. There are those who show very little interest and just get on with it, whereas at the other end of the spectrum there are those who genuinely relish the social stimulation, always doing what they can to help by adding their own personal touch. It all comes down to how one views their occupation and the degree of sociability they possess.

But, as you well know, or perhaps it seems you don't, when it comes to getting sexually physical with someone, it shifts to a whole different level. Dealing with sexually unatractive people when at the checkout or whilst selling them insurance is perfectly okay, but when it comes to having sex with someone like this, well, not so easy.

Attempting to describe what makes you tick when in fact you do not really know yourself, is a tricky task.

Therefore, I would say, asking the WGs such a question is not a good starting point if one is looking for any meaningful insights. We would need to know about your chilhood, you previous relationships, your financial status, your current mental state, your level of education etc.

Edited by SpoksEyebrows

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Therefore, I would say, asking the WGs such a question is not a good starting point if one is looking for any meaningful insights. We would need to know about your chilhood, you previous relationships, your financial status, your current mental state, your level of education etc.

Sorry but that sounds pretty condescending. If you don't like the answers you hear that's fine, but let me remind you that the question of the OP was formulated to WG's (are you one of them?) It's the equivalent of someone highjacking that "Why do you punt?" thread and stating that asking punters this question is "a no good starting point for any meaningful insights as we don't know anything about their childhoods and past personal relationships, current mental state and education".

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I also suspect the answers here come from a certain type of girl, ones doing it for themselves and with a high sex drive and not out of desperation. Ask a whole range of working girls and you'd probably get different answers. A girl forced into it by a pimp or to feed a drug habit probably do switch off and think of their next hit or that they can pay the rent or whatever. Having read stuff from girls who hated doing it they often learn to block it out and let the men get on with it. They suffer terribly emotionally which is something I suspect a huge percentage of girls on here do not.

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I like to think a wg would walk rather than 'force' herself to go through something.

I think my mental health would suffer if I had to sleep with someone I found repulsive.

The thing is, while a person may not be all that in the looks dept, there may be other characteristics that are a huge turn on i.e personality, sexual chemistry, intelligence or whatever turns the individual wg on really.

You can usually find something attractive in a person...

Me three :)

I can remember two occasions (out of god only knows how many!) when I found the person repulsive. In both cases it was due to lack of personal hygiene and in both cases I refunded the money and showed them the door.

There are so many different things that can make a person attractive, apart from the obvious. Intelligence is a biggie. Ditto attitude. A man who is average-looking can have more charisma and/or personality and/or wit in his little finger than the one who looks like Brad Pitt. I know which one I'd rather be sleeping with.

I have a regular client who, I have to admit, I wouldn't notice if he walked past me in the street. He's a fair bit older than me and not classically good looking. But in the bedroom - phew! And you'd never dream it to look at him.

That's one good thing about this job. When you become a hooker, all your pre-conceived ideas about what constitutes attractiveness and sex appeal goes out the window. In my youth, I wouldn't look at a man who didn't fit certain physical criteria. Now, thankfully, I am not so narrow-minded.

In response to the OP, at least us ladies don't have to worry about getting a stiffy. There is always lube to help things along. But of course it's much more fun to be actually enjoying it, which is when an open-minded attitude helps immensely.

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Following on from the discussion on the 'Guys, if you were female, would you be an Escort?' thread, I would sincerely like to know how you do it???

I genuinely don't understand how you girls can have sex with someone you don't find attractive, maybe even physically repulsive, let alone appear to enjoy it, someone please please explain it to me!!! :blink: I just couldn't get aroused with someone I wasn't attracted to. I suppose for a girl, arousal isn't absolutely necessary to have sex as lube can make up for any deficiency there.

As punters we can be quite fussy as to who we see, but you girls almost have to take who ever comes through the door and make the best of it, my hat goes off to you!! So many girls would never be able to do what you do, without getting to know the guy a bit first and finding him attractive.

Of course I'm so happy that there are so many of you that can do this, I do try my hardest to make the experience as easy as possible for the girls I see by being squeaky clean, groomed, polite, interestingly conversational, respectful and hopefully not too unattractive. I've been rewarded with so many delightful experiences, which I hope were equally pleasant for the girl involved, but there's no way I could do it for all the money in the world!!

So what enables you to do it?? Here are some of my ideas, shoot them down in flames if you like:

Do you just think about the money and that overrides any other consideration??

You are wired differently to other girls in that you can sleep with a complete stranger without compunction irrespective of whether you find them attractive or not?

Do you compress the 'getting to know a guy' bit into a really short space of time and quickly move on to the next stage?

Do you enter another 'zone' while you're working and separate it out mentally??

Do you find something about the client that you do find attractive and focus in on that??

Do you just love all men and can find any male attractive??

Do you enjoy using your femine attributes to arouse any man and see him climax as a result of your attentions?

Is there some traumatic experience in your past that has altered your view of things sexual?? (delicate subject I know)

Please help me out with this one as I'm really struggling with it. I've often wanted to ask a girl during a chat within a punt, but have thought it would be prying too much and probably kill the atmosphere if I probed to deeply.

Any thoughts welcome. :)

I have often wanted to ask this question of a lady I have visited but haven't done so in case it sounded intrusive. I consider the comments by you ladies to be fascinating (especially those by Margaret). I have visited quite a few of the ladies on this forum and found them all to be very intelligent, which to me makes the sex side of things all the more enjoyable. Having sex with an intelligent lady is to my mind far more enjoyable than having sex with a lady who isn't. I don't know why this is, perhaps it's an ago thing.

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Me three :)

I can remember two occasions (out of god only knows how many!) when I found the person repulsive. In both cases it was due to lack of personal hygiene and in both cases I refunded the money and showed them the door.

There are so many different things that can make a person attractive, apart from the obvious. Intelligence is a biggie. Ditto attitude. A man who is average-looking can have more charisma and/or personality and/or wit in his little finger than the one who looks like Brad Pitt. I know which one I'd rather be sleeping with.

I have a regular client who, I have to admit, I wouldn't notice if he walked past me in the street. He's a fair bit older than me and not classically good looking. But in the bedroom - phew! And you'd never dream it to look at him.

That's one good thing about this job. When you become a hooker, all your pre-conceived ideas about what constitutes attractiveness and sex appeal goes out the window. In my youth, I wouldn't look at a man who didn't fit certain physical criteria. Now, thankfully, I am not so narrow-minded.

In response to the OP, at least us ladies don't have to worry about getting a stiffy. There is always lube to help things along. But of course it's much more fun to be actually enjoying it, which is when an open-minded attitude helps immensely.

Exactly! I was rather shallow in my youth and always dated the lookers. Escorting has certainly changed me [for the better I believe]

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Exactly! I was rather shallow in my youth and always dated the lookers. Escorting has certainly changed me [for the better I believe]

I dated the lookers but always had a thing for the 'geeks' - the type who you knew would never pass their degree in some sort of scientific discipline should you get chance to lead them astray, so avoided you like the plague :D

Many years ago, and about 10yrs after leaving 6th form I bumped into someone of the geeky variety whom I'd had a crush on. Having a couple of bevvies of the alcoholic variety I proceeded to tell him of the aforementioned crush. He had heard and at the time thought I was taking the Michael. I told him it was true. By that time he had become a top civil servant and passed his degree and I'll just have to wonder ... though he did ask if I'd like to come back his for coffee and I declined. :D

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