pvcman

Violence Against Wgs Offering Submissive Services

39 posts in this topic

For the first few years when I started punting in the 90s, I was very much into S&M as a submissive. Recently I have been wanting to explore my dominant side and I had a session with a lady offering submissive services. It was a very good session which I enjoyed although I was rather alarmed when the lady confessed that two of the punters who had seen her that day had hit her (as opposed to consensually adminstering corporal punishment etc.)

I must admit in my years of participating in the online BDSM community this was not someting I had ever come across. The lady in question was working out of a hotel on her own so I guess was more at risk whereas most ladies I've seen offering submissive services have someone present in another room.

Has anyone ever come across this or suffered it themselves?

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I've not come across it as its not my cup of tea (I'd rather have a Dominant lady anyway) but it shows why I think a lady operating alone advertising submissive servies is inviting trouble.

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I've not come across it as its not my cup of tea (I'd rather have a Dominant lady anyway) but it shows why I think a lady operating alone advertising submissive servies is inviting trouble.

This lady is putting herself in a very dangerous situation. If I were a Dom guy I would think long and hard before making such a booking. If I were a Dom I would try to book subs with a more secure working environment. clearly an accident waiting to happen.

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A woman offering submissive services working on her own is putting herself under an enormous amount of risk. How is she going to defend herself or act upon any harmful situation once restrained?

:blink:

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I am sub in my personal life but would not in a million years offer any kind of sub services to a client. Whilst what happened to this lady is wrong and despicable I have to question why anyone would offer this kind of service by herself.

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Exactly. I may be submissive at times but would never advertise that. I've heard a few too many stories of people taking it too far. You dont know what kind of woman-hating weirdo you're going to get on a booking...

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I enjoy being a dom and have seen lots of WG's offering sub services on their own. Not once have I done anything that is not consensual and I have good feedback from the girls I have seen on the other site.

Why is it that just because a man is Dom he is suddenly more of a risk? Some men who abuse women enjoy dressing up as a woman and being sub but suddenly turn on their partner. You take a risk as a WG no matter who you see. If a guy is dom and understands consensual fantasy roleplay, I would say he is far safer than a man who is sub and doesn't understand the same.

I think what happened to the lady that the op saw is reprehensible. Nevertheless, I don't think there has ever been a study to show that just because someone is dom or sub in fantasy they are more likely to abuse their partner.

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I don't think there has ever been a study to show that just because someone is dom or sub in fantasy they are more likely to abuse their partner.

A guy with sadistic tendencies who pays a women to beat her is no fantasy: It's very real. And this type of service attracts guys who enjoy a little bit too much inflicting pain on women and giving them a hard time. So the answer is yes: A sadist is more of a risk. And it's veeeeeeery easy for things to go apeshit and get out of hand.I used to work as a receptionist/phone person for a very popular dominatrix for some years and I know what I'm talking about. This stuff you gotta be careful cause there's nice doms out there who will respect safe words and boundaries but there's a lot of ass#@les who won't.

Edited by californiamassage

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A guy with sadistic tendencies who pays a women to beat her is no fantasy: It's very real. And this type of service attracts guys who enjoy a little bit too much inflicting pain on women and giving them a hard time. So the answer is yes: A sadist is more of a risk. And it's veeeeeeery easy for things to go apeshit and get out of hand.I used to work as a receptionist/phone person for a very popular dominatrix for some years and I know what I'm talking about. This stuff you gotta be careful.

Its wholly wrong to do anything thats not consentual in any circumstances apart from in self defence. I have zero interest in smacking women about myself but have met WGs who have asked me hurt them, one asking me to beat her up which i refused and advised her to seek help. As ever what others do thats been agreed is their business but hurting women whether they like it or not does nothing for me.

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I couldn't be a sub, even for a million. I wonder why any man feels the need to want such? Well, I don't wonder...

My meetings are mostly mutual or/and I'm slightly bossy. I think it stems from my early bf's. I have always looked young for my age, and had to stand up for myself with male colleagues at work too.

So there you go.

I do worry for girls who addy as such. I just know that they are going to attract unsavouries. Prob more than they bargained for. It's a worry, so I have mailed a few in the past. One or two listened, and changed their offers. Relief...

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Just to clarify my OP slightly, one of the incidents was a guy who hit her on the face with a strap. I wasn't 100% sure if it was deliberate violence or he got the technique wrong and just missed another part of her body.

This to me highlights one of the other risks of being on her own i.e. inexperienced guys who don't really understand the scene or the equipment and proper safe techniques. Used incorrectly, some equipment can cause extreme harm.

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I couldn't be a sub, even for a million. I wonder why any man feels the need to want such? Well, I don't wonder...

My meetings are mostly mutual or/and I'm slightly bossy. I think it stems from my early bf's. I have always looked young for my age, and had to stand up for myself with male colleagues at work too.

So there you go.

I do worry for girls who addy as such. I just know that they are going to attract unsavouries. Prob more than they bargained for. It's a worry, so I have mailed a few in the past. One or two listened, and changed their offers. Relief...

I think whether one is a sub or dom or male/female, a large part of the attraction is the pyschological edge, it's not about violence. Obviously, different people get turned on by different levels of pain. Some subs like it very light, others like it very extreme.

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There was a time when not too long ago when many people considered most gay men to be predatory pedophiles. Think that stereotype has been broken down somewhat now but I believe the argument that most male doms are into harming women comes from the same place.

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A sadist is someone who gets turn on by causing pain on another. A dom is someone who gets turned on by controlling or making someone serve him/her. Although 2 different terms, the first definately belongs to the second cathegory. There's a lot of nice "doms" out there willing to respect boundaries and safe words but there's a lot a of a@#$les who won't.

Also, like the OP said not everybody is an experienced dom. Causing injuries and leaving the person bad marks out of ignorance is very common. Hitting places that shouldn't be hit (like the face with a strap. that's just crazy), tying up very strongly certain limbs of the body with ropes can cause fainting etc.... There's a lot of S/M play that requires experience and knowledge of the human body/anatomy. Professional dommes know this,and have safety /rules precautions but Joe public who comes to try out his sadistic fantasies with someone who he's never met before -and doesn't care about- is not.

I've (personally) seen subs fainting on several occasions. In one case it was a newbie dominatrix who tied a dog collar (a little bit too tight) around the guy's neck.Another time we had to call the paramedics cause the guy had turned blue and was not responding. Having to answer the questions to the police when they arrived was not fun. Why would a sub work by herself I don't get.

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A sadist is someone who gets turn on by causing pain on another. A dom is someone who gets turned on by controlling or making someone serve him/her. Although 2 different terms, the first definately belongs to the second cathegory. There's a lot of nice "doms" out there willing to respect boundaries and safe words but there's a lot a of a@#$les who won't.

Also, like the OP said not everybody is an experienced dom. Causing injuries and leaving the person bad marks out of ignorance is very common. Hitting places that shouldn't be hit (like the face with a strap. that's just crazy), tying up very strongly certain limbs of the body with ropes can cause fainting etc.... There's a lot of S/M play that requires experience and knowledge of the human body/anatomy. Professional dommes know this,and have safety /rules precautions but Joe public who comes to try out his sadistic fantasies with someone who he's never met before -and doesn't care about- is not.

I've (personally) seen subs fainting on several occasions. In one case it was a newbie dominatrix who tied a dog collar (a little bit too tight) around the guy's neck.Another time we had to call the paramedics cause the guy had turned blue and was not responding. Having to answer the questions to the police when they arrived was not fun. Why would a sub work by herself I don't get.

If causing injuries and leaving bad marks is very common those WGs that offer such services should be taking a step back and considering whether its worth offering such a service in my opinion. Guys arent going to change and all suddenly be nice so knowing its common to be on the receiving end of violence would certainly make me re-evaluate. Is money more important than having common violence inflicted on you is the ultimate question.

Its potentially a very dangerous service to offer and those that do so should certainly do so in safety, if they dont they are clearly not very smart.

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I adore women,and it makes me angry and feel sick to hear of a man hurting a lady in any walk of life.

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Exactly. I may be submissive at times but would never advertise that. I've heard a few too many stories of people taking it too far. You dont know what kind of woman-hating weirdo you're going to get on a booking...

You have just told us all! Isn't that a bit like advertising it?

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The major thing about BDSM is the psychological effect. It's not the pain (whether given or received) but the power. I have dabbled in the scene from time to time but have never let things get out of hand. As for the guy using a strap on a girls face, that is totally out of order and it can't have been an accident. This WG needs help.

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You have just told us all! Isn't that a bit like advertising it?

What I should have said was I don't offer it! It's something between me and my partner.

God, I didn't even say that and I'm defending myself!!! I only admitted to having a sub side in my personal life! Am loopy today! Apologies for hijacking!

Edited by EnglishLondonGirl

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You have just told us all! Isn't that a bit like advertising it?

Just as EnglishLondonGirl said above, i worded it incorrectly! I would never offer it as a service purely for reasons already stated. Too many crazies out there...

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There's a lot of nice "doms" out there willing to respect boundaries and safe words but there's a lot a of a@#$les who won't.

As I understand it WG's try to suss out nice punters from asshole punters all the time. Some of the asshole punters may not tell the WG that they are into Sadism and then attempt to abuse the WG when they meet her. Isn't the punter who is comfortable enough with their own sexuality to admit that they are into consensual domination going to be a lower risk to a WG than a punter who does not say what they are into? Surely the latter may be a sadist but the WG does not know it.

Also, like the OP said not everybody is an experienced dom. Causing injuries and leaving the person bad marks out of ignorance is very common. Hitting places that shouldn't be hit (like the face with a strap. that's just crazy), tying up very strongly certain limbs of the body with ropes can cause fainting etc.... There's a lot of S/M play that requires experience and knowledge of the human body/anatomy. Professional dommes know this,and have safety /rules precautions but Joe public who comes to try out his sadistic fantasies with someone who he's never met before -and doesn't care about- is not.

I've (personally) seen subs fainting on several occasions. In one case it was a newbie dominatrix who tied a dog collar (a little bit too tight) around the guy's neck.Another time we had to call the paramedics cause the guy had turned blue and was not responding. Having to answer the questions to the police when they arrived was not fun. Why would a sub work by herself I don't get.

What you are talking about above is the risks involved with BDSM per se (particularly amongst those who may not be experienced) whether that be between loving partners or WG and putner. I guess it is up to individuals to judge what risks they are prepared to take.

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I had a shitty one tonight so can safely say it's not limited to girls who advertise as being submissive. Am ok though, don't worry!

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There used to be a girl on the other site - submissive billie from Bristol who was very very sub and used to actively encourage guys to go for it.

She had photos of herself on the profile covered in brusing etc from punters....

She's since disappeared off the site....

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I don't and never would advertise sub services, not because I think Doms are inherently violent but because men who are inherently violent may feel they could tie me up and beat the crap out of me with impunity under the guise of being a Dom.

I have indulged in this sort of play with clients I know and trust, but advertising as a professional sub I think is very risky indeed.

Of course, as people have pointed out, we are always assessing risk when we accept bookings, but submission requires the handing over of control to the client, whereas in an ordinary booking we retain the control (unless something goes wrong of course).

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There used to be a girl on the other site - submissive billie from Bristol who was very very sub and used to actively encourage guys to go for it.

She had photos of herself on the profile covered in brusing etc from punters....

She's since disappeared off the site....

Go for it being beat her up, in my view a WG with problems and when i met such a woman i advised her to get help and left. She may well enjoy being beaten for all i know but it sickens me so a total turn-off. :)

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