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Lighter

Spanking With Paddles And Domination

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Hi,

Hope this is the best play to ask these questions.

Basically I'm hoping to have a one off punt soon. It's been a while since I've had one to to lack of money.

Anyway apart from the usual stuff, I also want to be dominated for a bit by her too if she is willing to do that for me. If she is, then I hope she enjoys delivering it too! I am a little bit submissive naturally anyway and enjoy being bossed about by women, so I guess that helps.

To this end, I bought a couple of spanking paddles, one of which is studded, and a ball gag recently to try a bit of self spanking with them to get used to them. I'll be taking these all toys with me when I can finally arrange the time for the punt. I've given them a test run and have enjoyed the pleasantly sore burning redness. However, I'm just wondering if there are any DO's and DON'T's that I should be aware of just in case when it comes to spanking with paddles and also wearing ball gags for that matter?

Also on a related not, although I've never done it before, I've long thought about having a woman use a 'Strap-On' on me but have always been to scared to try it previously! However I was very tempted to buy one the other day in preparation to take it on my punt, but decided not to. Maybe in the future when I have more money to spend. Anyway, again are there any DO's and DON'T's that I should be aware of when it comes to having a 'Strap-On' used on me? Do I need to prepare my asshole in anyway first? Also using a decent lubricant is a must goes without saying I guess lol

Anyway, thanks in advance for any replies, much appreciated!

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Hi,

Hope this is the best play to ask these questions.

Basically I'm hoping to have a one off punt soon. It's been a while since I've had one to to lack of money.

Anyway apart from the usual stuff, I also want to be dominated for a bit by her too if she is willing to do that for me. If she is, then I hope she enjoys delivering it too! I am a little bit submissive naturally anyway and enjoy being bossed about by women, so I guess that helps.

To this end, I bought a couple of spanking paddles, one of which is studded, and a ball gag recently to try a bit of self spanking with them to get used to them. I'll be taking these all toys with me when I can finally arrange the time for the punt. I've given them a test run and have enjoyed the pleasantly sore burning redness. However, I'm just wondering if there are any DO's and DON'T's that I should be aware of just in case when it comes to spanking with paddles and also wearing ball gags for that matter?

Also on a related not, although I've never done it before, I've long thought about having a woman use a 'Strap-On' on me but have always been to scared to try it previously! However I was very tempted to buy one the other day in preparation to take it on my punt, but decided not to. Maybe in the future when I have more money to spend. Anyway, again are there any DO's and DON'T's that I should be aware of when it comes to having a 'Strap-On' used on me? Do I need to prepare my asshole in anyway first? Also using a decent lubricant is a must goes without saying I guess lol

Anyway, thanks in advance for any replies, much appreciated!

As regards strap-ons the WG usually prefers to bring her own in my experience. The dos and donts are use plenty of lube and take it gently, not being gay i am not used to being anally penetrated so my arse is quite tight and forceful thrusting is very painful. :)

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You don't say where you are, but there are plenty of ladies offering Tie and Tease. That's the best service to look for as a beginner. Once you have found that you enjoy the submissive side of things you may want to "graduate" to a Domme.

The main things to be aware of in making your choice are that she will expect you to be frank about your levels of experience and pain. Always insist on having, and using, a safe word. Be wary of getting gagged and then left alone. A coughing fit could see you choke. Never allow yourself to be left alone in such circumstances.

Of course, tell whoever you meet that you will be bringing your own paddles. That's just polite.

Edited by porker paul

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Think the tie n tease suggestion was a good one- seeing a girl who offers this service, or one who is happy to do anal play might be a good starting point. A full on domme might be a bit scary, although to be fair a good one will go at your pace. Also bear in mind a lot of dommes don't offer a sex, so ensure you find someone who does all what you want before you arrive on her doorstep!

Have it clear in your mind what you want so you can communicate this to her, there is a vast difference between having a bossy assertive girl and a full on domme experience.

Do your research, the guys here might be able to help with recommendations, talk to the girl before you book to really ensure she feels right for you and have a list of questions prepared of your wants so you cover everything. This is particularly sensible if money is tight, you don't want a disaster and not get what you want.

With regards to prep, try and have a big pooh before hand and a clean bottom! Tip- use wipes rather than toilet tissue or pop in the shower after poo!- I often get men who have very kindly vigorously scrubbed with loo paper and their bottom is covered in bits of paper!

The girl will probably have lots of lube.

With strap on- you may want to start with fingers or beads or a small butt plug if your strap on dildo is on the larger side- well, that's certainly how I start with a guy who has not used one. Be honest- if you're not comfortable, tell her, don't be embarrassed or think she'll think you a wuss. I don't think many men can go from nothing to a full on hard anal fucking! In my experience also, men new to something up their bum find it a bit weird- good weird, but for most takes a bit of getting used to even if they like it! Oh and get her to put a condom on the strap on if she doesn't offer!

Hope that helps a little bit! x

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All very good advice Lydia. The most important aspect of these sessions is communication, both before and during. Don't be afraid to call a halt if you are unhappy. It must be a pleasurable experience for both of you.

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I'd definitely recommend not going for a full on domme experience first time around with all the attendant paraphenalia. It's easy to get caught up in the fantasy beforehand and although many dommes are good, in reality it often takes a bit of rapport to develop between you and the domme first to get a good session going. A large part of the attraction of sub-dom interactions is the pyschological element and my early experience was that a session can end up being quite disappointing if you are expecting to be quite passive and the lady to do all the work. It takes a bit of time to develop this rapport.

The advice above about gags is sensible and the same applies to hoods and forms of restraint.

Choose your domme carefully, some are quite prepared for nervous beginners but others are either geared up for heavier action or worse, they aren't competent using the equipment. If someone is administering CP on you and accidentally hits your kidney for example, that can be very painful and cause harm.

Edited by pvcman

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Strap-on

Personally I would be very careful who you book for your first time with this as a lot of damage can be done and not all wg's actually have the relevant experience despite having the expensive shiney tools for the job.

Firstly an experienced wg will talk you through the process first and start off using fingers, small toy's and then move up in size to see if you are actually able to accomodate a strap-on, she will let you know each time she moves up a notch and she will listen to you and definatley use a light touch and lots of lube. Any of this missing and I suggest you dont go through with things as it could either hurt you or put you off what could possibly become something very enjoyable to add to your punting pleasures.

Paddles

Again, experience will talk to you, start of gently, work her way up and listen to you and your reactions, grab-the-cash will not! You should never ever be spanked on any bony areas, only the buttock's or thigh's in my opinion, flogging is different and can be used on other areas by someone experienced.

Hard paddling should not be launched into ever and you should take an aspirin an hour or so before so long as you are not allergic as it helps reduce bruising a little. Spanked muscles should be massaged between short bout's to help with the bruising and to relax the muscle again.

Ball gag.

Buy one with air holes...just in case ;)

I can give you a recommendation but you will have to pm me.x

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With regards to prep, try and have a big pooh before hand and a clean bottom! Tip- use wipes rather than toilet tissue or pop in the shower after poo!- I often get men who have very kindly vigorously scrubbed with loo paper and their bottom is covered in bits of paper!

Try and have a douche beforehand using something like a bulb douche. You can buy them for about £15-20. It's not quite like having a full enema but will get you very clean inside.

The last lady I saw for anal play said my bottom was immaculate! :D

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my bottom was immaculate! :D

and there's nothing quite like an immaculate bottom!

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Hey, always nice to welcome a fellow fetishist to the forum. In addition to the excellent advice given by previous contributors and judging by your opening post I suspect that you might be more interested in the CP/spanking elements of BDSM. I also think that a WG would be preferable to a pro-domme especially if what you want is more of a sensual domination experience. One word of warning, a spiked or studded paddle will act like a meat tenderiser so unless you want your arse to look like a raw burger maybe stick to the paddle/spanker/tawse type of tool which is much less likely to draw blood. Another tip is to have a brief synopsis of the kind of scene you would like, not six pages of A4 but perhaps several bullet points of different activities you might wish to try: foot worship, spanking, whipping, rimming, humiliation, anal - or whatever. It's just a guide and will help inform the lady as to what kind of scenario you would like her to deliver. Good luck and have fun.

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dont forget a safe word.x

It's gonna be difficult if he's wearing his ball gag. "Uhuhuhu oooooh" it'll all sound the same.

Anyway, safe words are for pussies. Real men don't flinch.

<swaggers out of thread in a display of pure braggadocio>

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Anyway, safe words are for pussies.

<swaggers out of thread in a display of pure braggadocio>

Safe words work both ways. They are a vital element of every good BDSM session in my view.

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It is vital to have a safe word, or I guess a safe sign if the sub is unable to speak. A client of mine used to wiggle his right foot out to the right. It was my responsibility to watch out for this sign, not his to ensure I saw it. He had a ball gag..with air holes i might add.x

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I think a safe word is very important, especially if you are a beginner. One thing a lot of dommes mention is how they like to explore and push your boundaries such as in terms of pain thresholds. It's important as a sub that you clearly state beforehand what your boundaries are and a safe word is a good way to ensure the session keeps the right side of it.

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Hi,

Hope this is the best play to ask these questions.

Basically I'm hoping to have a one off punt soon. It's been a while since I've had one to to lack of money.

Anyway apart from the usual stuff, I also want to be dominated for a bit by her too if she is willing to do that for me. If she is, then I hope she enjoys delivering it too! I am a little bit submissive naturally anyway and enjoy being bossed about by women, so I guess that helps.

To this end, I bought a couple of spanking paddles, one of which is studded, and a ball gag recently to try a bit of self spanking with them to get used to them. I'll be taking these all toys with me when I can finally arrange the time for the punt. I've given them a test run and have enjoyed the pleasantly sore burning redness. However, I'm just wondering if there are any DO's and DON'T's that I should be aware of just in case when it comes to spanking with paddles and also wearing ball gags for that matter?

Also on a related not, although I've never done it before, I've long thought about having a woman use a 'Strap-On' on me but have always been to scared to try it previously! However I was very tempted to buy one the other day in preparation to take it on my punt, but decided not to. Maybe in the future when I have more money to spend. Anyway, again are there any DO's and DON'T's that I should be aware of when it comes to having a 'Strap-On' used on me? Do I need to prepare my asshole in anyway first? Also using a decent lubricant is a must goes without saying I guess lol

Anyway, thanks in advance for any replies, much appreciated!

Where are you based and what sort of woman are you looking for? Maybe we can recommend some ladies for you to consider?

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Thanks for all the replies. All very welcome!

Sorry for my late reply, I haven't really been online much since I made my initial post.

Will definitely be taking things slowly and not rushing into anything after reading the above. It's something I hope to try one day, but finding the right experienced woman and chemistry is more important :)

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Where are you based and what sort of woman are you looking for? Maybe we can recommend some ladies for you to consider?

Thanks.

I'm in London :)

As for what sort of woman? If I was totally honest, I do love the 'nice girl next door' look ;)

Edited by Lighter

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Thanks.

I'm in London :)

As for what sort of woman? IF I was totally honest, I do love the 'nice girl next door' look ;)

Plenty of choice then. Have you considered looking at the serious mistresses site. There are some who will welcome newcomers. Feel free to ask for advice once you have started making your choice.

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I'd avoid Serious Mistresses if you're looking the girl next door type.

Edited by WhilstNeroplays

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I'd avoid Serious Mistresses if you're looking the girl next door type.

A good many Dominant women are stunning and once you get to know a good one your relationship can enter new territory.

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Yeah, I know fuck all about domination. You're obviously the expert.

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Thanks.

I'm in London :)

As for what sort of woman? If I was totally honest, I do love the 'nice girl next door' look ;)

Try the London Retreat - it's been mentioned on these boards many times. The ladies cater for a wide spectrum of domination and are good looking. I haven't been for a long time but it still gets many good FRs. It's not cheap however.

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