AsgardsSon

Sticky Situations

37 posts in this topic

Good morning everybody.

I wondered if anyone has any anecdotes of awkward situations directly caused by this thing we do?

A parking ticket or speeding fine in an otherwise unexplainable location, being seen in the wrong part of town, awkward credit card statements or other paperwork, inexplicable fragrances on clothing, missing a flight and being stuck in a place one ought not to be. I leave out things like being mugged or being in an RTA in the wrong place as these are more serious.

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Good morning everybody.

I wondered if anyone has any anecdotes of awkward situations directly caused by this thing we do?

A parking ticket or speeding fine in an otherwise unexplainable location, being seen in the wrong part of town, awkward credit card statements or other paperwork, inexplicable fragrances on clothing, missing a flight and being stuck in a place one ought not to be. I leave out things like being mugged or being in an RTA in the wrong place as these are more serious.

Literally a sticky situation for a punter mate was his wife noticing a bit of glitter on his back which hadnt washed off despite him having a shower. He was caught bang to rights. I see less WGs using glitter nowadays but many used to use it.

Not quite a sticky situation but a pain in the arse at the time. I was early at a punt as i usually am as i allow for traffic so went and parked up a short drive from the WGs premises. I turned the engine off and had the fan and radio on. When it was time to make a move to her place i found i had stupidly drained the battery. I rang her and said i was on my way on foot, i had never seen her before but she was a member on here. What i found was it was a lot further on foot than i thought so i stopped a passing car offered him £20 to give me a lift, he was understandably suspicious but i convinced him and made the punt just in time. Rang the AA in the break, had a great punt and got a cab back to my car where it started first time.

The WG then became a regular and my getting to her following the above turned out to be a wise move rather than cancelling the punt, she wouldnt of been able to fit me in later the same day and who knows if i would of tried again another day. :)

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Catching a train out of London only to find the return services cancelled due to line problems! A bit late home that evening.

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Leaving a flat onto a busy street. The wg suggested it was more discreet if I use the back door and shin over the wall into the supermarket car park. I refused on the grounds it was a daft idea. Walked out onto the street, tripped over a paving slab and fell flat on my face. Chortles from behind the closing door as concerned passers by flocked to help me

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Thanks so far chaps. I only ask because firstly, I've been summoned to my grandmother to explain why I've overspent my allowance by 30% this year (it's actually closer to to 50 but I'm not telling her that!), and secondly because I thought it would be quite nice to have a light-hearted thread...

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While undressing for bed one night following a punt I found bits of very bright pink towel fluff all over me. The beautiful fluffy new towels that the WG had provided were shedding fibres. Luckily I was in the bathroom on my own at the time, but when I first saw bright red dots in my white underwear I was rather concerned to say the least...

Mark

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Thanks so far chaps. I only ask because firstly, I've been summoned to my grandmother to explain why I've overspent my allowance by 30% this year (it's actually closer to to 50 but I'm not telling her that!), and secondly because I thought it would be quite nice to have a light-hearted thread...

Your granny gives you a punting allowance?!

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Hmm. Ha ha. No. Perish the thought. It's an overall allowance. I'm quite sure she would think punting was something she might have done in Cambridge 80 years ago.

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Hmm. Ha ha. No. Perish the thought. It's an overall allowance. I'm quite sure she would think punting was something she might have done in Cambridge 80 years ago.

You can still punt in Cambridge now! The on the river sort! Tell her you gave some of the cash to a charity for fallen women!

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A long forgotten email to AEL found on my yahoo account by the mother of my 3 children

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Thanks so far chaps. I only ask because firstly, I've been summoned to my grandmother to explain why I've overspent my allowance by 30% this year (it's actually closer to to 50 but I'm not telling her that!), and secondly because I thought it would be quite nice to have a light-hearted thread...

You're my hero AsgardsSon.

I have a lovely mental image of you coming from 'old money', public schools, Oxbridge, shooting parties, Aspen, butlers and mad cousins no one talks about. I would like to think you have a driver taking you to your punts and that wear a smoking jacket during your visits.

Tell me I am right ?

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Hang about! His old gran might be giving him £1.50 a week for cleaning her windows!!!!!!!!!!!! (laughing)

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Not punting but a sticky situation all the same and one to think about.

A married friend went on a lads golfing trip to Portugal. Met a lovely Welsh girl from the Valleys whilst there. Upon returning to the UK, wife and kids he decided to swing a day to Wales for a bit of extra marital. Gets into bed with said Welsh lass, next thing he remembers is waking up in intensive care in Cardiff hospital having a suffered a stroke.

He made a full recovery, but his marriage did not. Try explaining to wife in Bedford why you have not been home for 4 days and that you are now in intensive care in Cardiff.

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Oh dear, the Cardiff story makes me cringe. You never know what's round the corner.

I could tell you some stories to expand upon your mental image but at risk of decaying the anonymity that is so important here. You are not a million miles off, but I utterly despise skiing and have never been to Aspen. Aviemore once and never ever again. Why would anyone pay for the privilege of being cold all day, falling down every five minutes and having wet socks.

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Oh dear, the Cardiff story makes me cringe. You never know what's round the corner.

I could tell you some stories to expand upon your mental image but at risk of decaying the anonymity that is so important here. You are not a million miles off, but I utterly despise skiing and have never been to Aspen. Aviemore once and never ever again. Why would anyone pay for the privilege of being cold all day, falling down every five minutes and having wet socks.

Will you marry me?

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It sounds glib I know but it's not a life one would necessarily choose.

Besides, my best friend and ex (incidentally also a former WG) arrives back in the UK in less than 3 weeks, and as long as the family powers-that-be are happy, I fully intend to ask the big question in the new year (hence the imminent retirement from this thing we do).

Now, wasn't this thread originally about something a lot more light-hearted than my restrictive lifestyle? ... ;)

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........ I utterly despise skiing and have never been to Aspen. Aviemore once and never ever again. Why would anyone pay for the privilege of being cold all day, falling down every five minutes and having wet socks.

Sealskinz my friend, they're really rather good.

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That's a no then?!

I'm not sure if this is true or not- it came from a friend of a friend type thing- A gent who had visited a rather glamorous WG a couple of days later heard his wife screaming- she had come across a big spider in their bedroom and was hiding in the bathroom. The brave gent went to investigate only to find it was a false eyelash, he could only assume had come from the WG and stuck to his clothing somehow. He then had to do the charade of getting a tissue, catching the 'spider' and releasing in outside! For the first time, he was grateful his wife had a phobia, how on earth would a random eyelash in their bedroom be explained away?!

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Tell her you gave some of the cash to a charity for fallen women!

The Howard League isn't it? (Google says not!)

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This could be true.A woman browsing a pet shop saw a lovely parrot for £50.

Thinking there was somthing wrong with it at that price,she asked the owner.

He said theres nothing wrong,but it had spent all its life in the local massage parlour and could be a bit rude when it talked.

The woman thought could be a bit of a laugh with her mates so she bought him took him home and waited for him to say somthing.

When her two daughters came in the parrot said"New house ,new madam,sexy new girls"They thought it was hilarious.

Later her husband came in,the parrot looked at him and said"...........HI KEITH!

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About 6 years ago, leaving an apartment in Brum City Centre after a particularly enjoyable punt, I reached the ground floor to be confronted by a number of what appeared to be exit doors. Off I go via one, only to find that as it slams shut behind me , I am in a private car park surrounded by walls and a steel gate, each of which are 4-5 metres high. Now..the seemple thing to do would have been call the girl I had just left and ask her to let me back in? Then I remembered, first visit - I had only taken the cash... and my phone was safely in the boot of my car!.I then think I can be Daniel Craig and pull a wheelie bin over with a view to scaling the wall. In truth I end up more like Mr. Bean as my bottle goes as I try to scramble onto the wall. I have visions of at the very least nasty injuries and a ruined suit to explain. I even contemplate staying there until someone enters or exits. Finally, I decided to ask a passer by to help. 2 chinese ladies passed the gate and although they appeared unsure about my request that they ring the buzzer of flat so & so and tell them I was stuck in the car park, they did it and the receptionist came to my rescue. I made my escape back onto the street with much laughter and not little relief!!

Go on admit it...has something similar happened to other punters?

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That's a no then?!

I'm not sure if this is true or not- it came from a friend of a friend type thing- A gent who had visited a rather glamorous WG a couple of days later heard his wife screaming- she had come across a big spider in their bedroom and was hiding in the bathroom. The brave gent went to investigate only to find it was a false eyelash, he could only assume had come from the WG and stuck to his clothing somehow. He then had to do the charade of getting a tissue, catching the 'spider' and releasing in outside! For the first time, he was grateful his wife had a phobia, how on earth would a random eyelash in their bedroom be explained away?!

I've heard that one before Lydia, I think it's a punting urban myth :)

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A long forgotten email to AEL found on my yahoo account by the mother of my 3 children

That is awful. Feel bad for both of you.

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Hmm. Ha ha. No. Perish the thought. It's an overall allowance. I'm quite sure she would think punting was something she might have done in Cambridge 80 years ago.

Hmmmmmm

so what style do you go for? The ones with the bib and braces or the full sleeved ones?

:P

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You're my hero AsgardsSon.

I have a lovely mental image of you coming from 'old money', public schools, Oxbridge, shooting parties, Aspen, butlers and mad cousins no one talks about. I would like to think you have a driver taking you to your punts and that wear a smoking jacket during your visits.

Tell me I am right ?

He's Bertie Wooster!

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