Jennifer

Understanding The Difference Between Business/social.

14 posts in this topic

So, I've been an escort for nearly 3 months now and the only thing I don't like is when clients don't understand the difference between work and friends.

I'm myself when working, I'm quite genuine and honest so clients get to know me as a person as well as an escort.

I'll call the guy 'k'. K started seeing me about 2 months ago on a regular basis, and he also did escorting himself (but being a guy didn't get many bookings). After a few meetings he told me that he had made many friends from this profession and that he had also met a girlfriend through it. It was all well and good and he was a lovely guy.

After a few more meetings, K started asking me to see him outside of work as friends, I politely declined he's invitation. Then he kept on asking over and over again which then resulted in me getting mixed up in whether he wanted to either book me or just see me as a friend. With every meeting after that I made sure which he meant and said I couldn't see him as a friend as this was work.

I also had an email a while back saying...

'm a nice geeza...u luk yung n nice, see my FB...i ent met nyone on this u seem normalish, so u dont meet / make normal nice ppl friends or woteva lol u just a prostitute and nothin else get me ?'

Nevermind that guy having no grammar or any idea how to spell but what he's saying is that you're just a prostitute if you don't make friends :S

I've definitely made a close friend while doing this, who I do care about quite a bit. He was my first client and he made me so relaxed and comfortable. It was him that actually gave me the confidence to continue with escorting :)

It interests me as to whether you can actually make friends or even a relationship in this profession. Repeatedly seeing the same person over and over again kinda does make you feel emotionally tied to them if you let it, and if they share their secrets and personal stories you may feel something. But do you know where the line is between work and friends?

Jen :) xx

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I think the whole confusion over a good regular client and a friend is something most girls go through when they start out.

I think it is worth gaining a cynical side. There are plenty of men out there who will play the 'but we're mates' card to get freebies and extra time. I know sometimes it is difficult when you're genuinely enjoying a guys time to run over, but they will often then expect extras for nothing. Saying that I have a few regulars who run over occasionally, but it is my call not theirs and they are the respectful ones who don't expect it and will say things like 'are you sure you're OK for time'.

Be wary of those that go on and on about being friends or are texting/ calling a lot for a chat, the ones that touch on the pesty side tend to be the ones who turn into nuisances and misread the situation.

I have a couple of guys who are ex clients who I consider good genuine friends and the fact we are no longer shagging makes it a genuine friendship. if you want a fuck buddy then fine, but consider if you fall into this too many times you will not be making any money!

Also bear in mind that even though they are sharing secrets and stories with you, that is part of the service so to speak in my eyes. WG's are not just about sex, guys like to tell us stuff because we are separate to the rest of their lives, won't gossip and are often open minded caring people, I think some men see us as therapists.

Apart from anything there is a danger of someone who knows too much about you who may try to expose you if they feel spurned. You really have to get a hard head to this and be very very careful who you trust. Saying that, you are right about some level of emotional attachment when you see someone a lot (In the 'real' world, I equate this with work colleagues, you like them, feel fond of them, but when they leave you very quickly drift apart). A fondness for someone is OK, we are human after all, but you do have to keep that line in place.

And as for that email. Eewww! I hope you didn't dignify it with a response!

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So, I've been an escort for nearly 3 months now and the only thing I don't like is when clients don't understand the difference between work and friends.

I'm myself when working, I'm quite genuine and honest so clients get to know me as a person as well as an escort.

I'll call the guy 'k'. K started seeing me about 2 months ago on a regular basis, and he also did escorting himself (but being a guy didn't get many bookings). After a few meetings he told me that he had made many friends from this profession and that he had also met a girlfriend through it. It was all well and good and he was a lovely guy.

After a few more meetings, K started asking me to see him outside of work as friends, I politely declined he's invitation. Then he kept on asking over and over again which then resulted in me getting mixed up in whether he wanted to either book me or just see me as a friend. With every meeting after that I made sure which he meant and said I couldn't see him as a friend as this was work.

I also had an email a while back saying...

'm a nice geeza...u luk yung n nice, see my FB...i ent met nyone on this u seem normalish, so u dont meet / make normal nice ppl friends or woteva lol u just a prostitute and nothin else get me ?'

Nevermind that guy having no grammar or any idea how to spell but what he's saying is that you're just a prostitute if you don't make friends :S

I've definitely made a close friend while doing this, who I do care about quite a bit. He was my first client and he made me so relaxed and comfortable. It was him that actually gave me the confidence to continue with escorting :)

It interests me as to whether you can actually make friends or even a relationship in this profession. Repeatedly seeing the same person over and over again kinda does make you feel emotionally tied to them if you let it, and if they share their secrets and personal stories you may feel something. But do you know where the line is between work and friends?

Jen :) xx

Interesting post Jen because it comes from the other side. There have been a number of threads on PN which cover clients falling for WGs and being exploited. As Lydia says, this can work the other way as well.

If you are dealing with a seasoned punter then the chances are he has got his mind around the relationship and can handle some form of social interaction and 'sharing secrets'. The newbie is more likely to misunderstand the situation. Personally I do like to establish some rapport with any WG who I visit. However if ever this led to meeting outside of the boudoir then any such 'frienship' would only really work if the sex was excluded. If you were a plumber and I paid for your services and then when we met socially I wanted you to coninually check my ballcocks, I would consider that an abuse of the friendship. Now that's not to say mixing business with pleasure never works, I just think it's extremely difficult as so many issues can get blurred.

You were lucky to have had a good first experience to ease you in. I met a lady recently who had an awful first punt and was sobbing all the way home - and she was reasonably hard-nosed about her attitudes to work. Perhaps meeting such a genuine guy up front made you trust us all too much!

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Yes, some men do think we do this because we are lonely, and/or can't make our own friends. I have an active, busy life away from my Escort bookings, and have plenty of friends and associates both in the industry, and out of it. The only reason I would become friends outside of work would be because our lives cross in other ways, ie legitimate reasons!

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It can work as long as both parties know where the boundaries are. I was seeing a woman for a long time and we became good friends.

She asked me to be her friend on Facebook which I did. I felt honoured that she trusted me enough to do this as it's not a thing that any WG can do with any client. I always paid her the correct fee for her time and never expected free time although there were times when she gave me extra time. I used to give her extra money for her birthday and Christmas.

Sometimes we would just kiss, cuddle and chat about what was going on in our lives. She did have boyfriends whilst I was seeing her but I was never jealous. I wanted her to meet a decent guy who would treat her right but her relationships didn't last long.

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i find this really difficult

I do try to keep it separate but what do you do when a lady blogs about some difficulty she is having? is it overstepping the mark to email or text her to wish her well or should i ignore her between bookings?

I see no reason why I should not be friendly to any human being i do business with be it the owner of the caff where i buy coffee, or a lady I buy sex from.

But there again the relationship between punter and wg is a little more intense than that between an americano drinker and a barista.

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i find this really difficult

I do try to keep it separate but what do you do when a lady blogs about some difficulty she is having? is it overstepping the mark to email or text her to wish her well or should i ignore her between bookings?

I see no reason why I should not be friendly to any human being i do business with be it the owner of the caff where i buy coffee, or a lady I buy sex from.

But there again the relationship between punter and wg is a little more intense than that between an americano drinker and a barista.

You are right, it is difficult and there are no hard and fast rules. As with any relationship, everything is easy until either money or sex is involved.

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i find this really difficult

I do try to keep it separate but what do you do when a lady blogs about some difficulty she is having? is it overstepping the mark to email or text her to wish her well or should i ignore her between bookings?

I see no reason why I should not be friendly to any human being i do business with be it the owner of the caff where i buy coffee, or a lady I buy sex from.

But there again the relationship between punter and wg is a little more intense than that between an americano drinker and a barista.

I'd say the best you can do is simply be understanding, if she wishes to discuss/broach anything with you she will do. It can be quite touching when someone you know as a client does show concern, but it can also be overwhelming at times too.

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Don't most adults sooner or later end up in a situation that one or the other gets the wrong idea? Why should this be any different?

Guys can be dumb and sooner or later we prove it. But even women make the rare mistake.

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Thanks for the responses guys.

Yea, it's very difficult to know the unwritten rules.

I think giving a client my facebook is a step too far, would be scary them knowing personal stuff :/ but yea, I love making friends but it's work at the end of the day and I don't wanna get stuck in an awkward situation with someone and end up losing bookings and that friendship.

My first client is definitely a close friend and we often text and tell each other what's going on, which I'm cool about and enjoy (: He even said we can meet up as friends and there would be nothing sexual.

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Always a grey area - need to look at keeping the business from the social - is he after getting something from you for free companionship and all that? what is he offering back friendship needs to meet requirements on both side of the table. if you dont play how will he take it? what if he doesnt take the hint and keep on going then it becomes a bit of an issue for both. Can remember using an outcall to my place and then a few months later she turned up at the door I was mortified. totally. An I had not been friends only had bought the services a couple of times. So an unexpected turn up at the door could have been an issue. Sometimes best to keep the profession and private lifes separate. I only visit now never ever bring anyone back to the flat as that is way too involved.

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Be very careful when exchanging real-life IDs.

You dont know how the next 5 or 10 years develop. But your facebook-wall may stil be there.

(I'm in this hobby from... well.. 2005)

I've been quite good chums with some ladies, some of them agents even, and been on a few social events.

But on some rare occasions the relationship turned sour very quickly, for whatever real or imagined reason. Sometimes by meddling from funny board-posters (not on here, no worries) or from gossip by (local) competitors.

So be Bloody Careful. Things can change very quickly.

On the good side: I am stil in touch with some reguars from waaaay back, and still on good terms.

(and I'm fairly sure they know relatively little of me, unless they deliberately probed)

I feel relatively lucky to have escaped most nastyness, and learned a lesson: better safe than sorry.

Y'all take care now, and Have Fun.

Edited by ptrleeds

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So, I've been an escort for nearly 3 months now and the only thing I don't like is when clients don't understand the difference between work and friends. I'm myself when working, I'm quite genuine and honest so clients get to know me as a person as well as an escort. I'll call the guy 'k'. K started seeing me about 2 months ago on a regular basis, and he also did escorting himself (but being a guy didn't get many bookings). After a few meetings he told me that he had made many friends from this profession and that he had also met a girlfriend through it. It was all well and good and he was a lovely guy. After a few more meetings, K started asking me to see him outside of work as friends, I politely declined he's invitation. Then he kept on asking over and over again which then resulted in me getting mixed up in whether he wanted to either book me or just see me as a friend. With every meeting after that I made sure which he meant and said I couldn't see him as a friend as this was work. I also had an email a while back saying... 'm a nice geeza...u luk yung n nice, see my FB...i ent met nyone on this u seem normalish, so u dont meet / make normal nice ppl friends or woteva lol u just a prostitute and nothin else get me ?' Nevermind that guy having no grammar or any idea how to spell but what he's saying is that you're just a prostitute if you don't make friends :S I've definitely made a close friend while doing this, who I do care about quite a bit. He was my first client and he made me so relaxed and comfortable. It was him that actually gave me the confidence to continue with escorting :) It interests me as to whether you can actually make friends or even a relationship in this profession. Repeatedly seeing the same person over and over again kinda does make you feel emotionally tied to them if you let it, and if they share their secrets and personal stories you may feel something. But do you know where the line is between work and friends? Jen :) xx

Unless its a mutual thing and the WG is happy for things to develop set very clear boundaries right from the start and ensure the punter knows its only ever going to be paid sex. This will leave the deluded and lovestruck who think its dating not punting but you cant legislate for these people, just deal with them if and when they pop up.

You can certainly be friends but i would very strongly advise not to exchange things like Facebook accounts and other personal information unless you are as certain as you can be that the other is trustworthy. The problem is things can change and fall outs occur so as PtrLeeds says be very careful.

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you dont want to give out anything that can come back and bite you in the ass at a later point facebook i think is the devils spawn and its so easy for it to be manipulated

do you really want someone you know nothing about apart from the size of his cock knowing everthing about you , your friends , family and personal stuff its a licence to be a stalker or at the very best untold grief from friends and family when he /client then asks to befriend your friend and family with face book you can only control what you do not what other do

Ive been lucky to escape anything really bad/ stalkerish but thats mostly down to a healthly self preservation and slighly cynical line of thought, i never meet up with other escorts in personal and dont do the girly chats or get togethers if im in the same town as other escorts that i know off nor do i meet up with clients outside of work

sometime after a client has left , and i realise that he might be going to the train station or something that on my way home , im often tempted to offer them a lift and i have done this twice but one guy was going back to australia and the other is a genuine client from here so i didnt mind but i stop myself because i think it crosses the line of work and friends

Edited by Bristol Ebony Escort

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