Anna2

What to do about nasty man?

21 posts in this topic

I used to see a lot of polite and respectful business men but due to the recession there seem to be a lot more abusive and hard core strange abusive men. Has anybody else noticed this?

There was also a man who I've seen a few times and every time I told him I don't do OWO but he keeps on, and the last time he told me that if I don't do it with CIM then he will cause a scene outside so I felt forced to do it. Then afterwards he went on about how he was paying so I should do what he wants. I'm worried he might contact me again. If I ask the phone company to block his number, then I'm worried he might try to call on another number and get nasty, so I'm not sure what to do. If I give his name, I'm worried he might find out that it's me and be nasty about that too.

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Block his number. Post details on warning board, join SAAFE. This kind of harrasment is NOT acceptable and if he continues to threaten you then contact the police. I have had abusive threats, emails, calls and txts the police were very, very helpful and not at all judgemental. Just because you are a prostitute does not mean you can be subject to such behaviour. If you need support then just ask. Stick to your guns and NEVER let anyone coerce you into doing services you are not confident with or happy to do xxx Oh and this man is a COCK! You do get idiots from time to time but generally they are in the minority x

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If I post his number though, he might find out and be even more nasty.

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If I post his number though, he might find out and be even more nasty.

Don't post all the digits, use * for some. Does he use this forum or message boards?? He may being a danger to other girls as well.

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He's very strange. I don't want to be disrespectful towards gay men, but he's very camp sounding and acting and I was surprised he was straight. He kept asking for a discount, then expecting me to do more and more that I said I don't do. He kept asking for strange role plays, that would be in reality be nasty, such as pretending he was a neighbour who was angry about what I do. The first time scared me, as he started acting all angry because I wouldn't let him hold me down. I wish I hadn't seen him again, as I knew he was nasty, but all the time he's being nasty he still talks in a calm voice. I think he's a psychopath.

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the last time he told me that if I don't do it with CIM then he will cause a scene outside so I felt forced to do it.

This is almost like a rape. Certainly blackmail. You should not have to put up with this from a total wanker. Get the police involved.

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This is almost like a rape. Certainly blackmail. You should not have to put up with this from a total wanker. Get the police involved.

I agree! Also up your security so you can see who is at the door!

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I don't really want the police to know what I do. After my horrible experience with my husband I'm trying to improve my life by doing a law degree and don't really want to ruin my reputation by people knowing what I do. Do the police put it on record with your address and everything?

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Do not be afraid. The Police are bound by the Human Rights Act to protect your privacy and most forces now have special units created to handle stalkers, hate crimes, etc, in a sensitive manner.

Read the website of your local Police Service so you know which station to visit and which department to ask for.

Make use of the buddy system offered by Saafe.

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Anna contact Penny via Saafe about the buddy system as soon as you can. You need to be in constant contact with another sex worker and also need further advice on how to stay safe.

I know you don't want to go to the police but it might help to know that they are normally very sensitive when it comes to dealing with issues like this and remember that this guy could become a danger to other girls too if not delt with.

I wish you luck with it.

xx

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Too much good information on here from totally reliable women to ignore, Anna2.

They know the situation and know their advice is the only way forward and are confident you won't be compromised by making the contacts suggested.

The alternative is continuing worry with no support so I urge you to follow their advice and perhaps also contact these women by private message (you may need to post a few more messages first to achieve full member status for that or perhaps a moderator may see this thread and allow you to do so).

In a private message exchange you could feel able to be more detailed and get more detailed advice.

Best wishes

VLM

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I concur with Olivia and the others. Saafe is an invaluable resource, open 24/7. Even if you just feel a rant will help you feel better.

This bloke you talk about sounds like a total cock-head! But through using Saafe, it may help you see that he probably doesnt limit his bad behaviour just to yourself and is probably used to ladies giving him the cold shoulder. So why the hell should you put up with it, when there are v.lovely respectful punters around?

Kick him to the kerb and google saafe.

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Above all, remember that you are doing nothing illegal. Society may frown at you, but the law is on your side.

At all times you have the right to say NO and stick to it, and never give a blackmailer an inch because they'll take a mile.

Store this man's number in your phone as 'DNA' (do not answer) and then stick to that decision.

Unfortunately he is preying on your weakness, and you must not let this continue.

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Borrow a large dog for a couple of weeks, or have it available when he makes appointment. They do work well

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One other thing, with any and all cases like this, it is best to keep a diary and to note any and all things that he does that affects you.

This will be very useful if you need to prove a history of harassment and stalking etc but can also be used in a number of ways legally and persuasively.

It works, believe me, I have advised people on similar situations.

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This is almost like a rape. Certainly blackmail. You should not have to put up with this from a total wanker. Get the police involved.

Yes, it is indeed very like a (new style New Labour) rape under s.1 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003:

1 Rape

(1) A person (A) commits an offence if

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Aside from semantics of whether this technically warrants rape etc, you should really follow the advice given by Olivia and others to safeguard yourself. You do need to establish a way of protecting your boundaries so you don't find yourself in a similar or worse situation. Sadly, guys like these do try and target ladies that they perceive as pushovers or an easy target. What next - someone will try and give you less money or force you to do anal if you don't offer it etc or try and enforce BB. I appreciate that in some cases, it is a good idea to placate and defuse a situation but in future I would avoid giving in to threats of causing a scene etc as it will damage you physically and emotionally more than a guy ranting outside your place. While this can be a great job for us ladies - you do need to be assertive enough and look after your own interests. Perhaps you could check out escortbuddys to find someone to support you if you feel isolated.

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Oh dear. Issuing threats on a public board is unwise.

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Don't let him get away with it as you may not be the only one he is doing this to. Let us all know who he is as he will come unstuck against us all :D

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He's very strange. I don't want to be disrespectful towards gay men, but he's very camp sounding and acting and I was surprised he was straight. He kept asking for a discount, then expecting me to do more and more that I said I don't do. He kept asking for strange role plays, that would be in reality be nasty, such as pretending he was a neighbour who was angry about what I do. The first time scared me, as he started acting all angry because I wouldn't let him hold me down. I wish I hadn't seen him again, as I knew he was nasty, but all the time he's being nasty he still talks in a calm voice. I think he's a psychopath.

lol!

contact the police, this guy sounds like a real piece of work, don't see him again..

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Mmmmh, I feel bad for any lady that encounters a horrible client and experiences an awful incident. But I am also puzzled how little some ladies research and prepare themselves before embarking on this new career. Unfortunately, a lot of ladies assume it is enough to get some photos done and get a website up and running thus switching on some virtual red light and start. Sadly so not all look for proper advice on all aspects of this job and thus fall prey to the chancers. Most gents we encounter are decent but there are unfortunately those that deliberately target what they perceive as new ladies with whom they think they can push boundaries.

But I also noticed that some ladies have either a conscious or subconscious penchant for attracting 'protectors' and perpetuate the damsel in distress scenario. Totally understandable and often quite a noble reflex to want to jump to the defence of a lady being abused. But it would be better if an escort who works independent actually deploys common sense and takes control of bookings. I don't want to scare ladies off from posting about a terrible incident and importantly warn others about this. But surely some sense of self preservation and basic logic should tell a lady if a client persistently tries to overstep boundaries in a visit, then you should not arrange subsequent bookings! I tend to shake my head in disbelief when I read that ladies bemoan how a guy tries to push them into a number of services and acts they don't offer, tries to haggle and then they allow these guys to come back time after time! What does he need to do to eventually block his number? At what point would you stop taking bookings from Attila the Hun when after the first visit he treats you with utter disrespect, pushes your door in, throws you over his shoulders and drags you into the boudoir and then wipes his manhood on your curtains. Do you just have pound signs flash in your eyes that you risk him looting and pillaging your street on subsequent visits? So ladies stop being meek, weak soppy pushovers and take control over situations, you are running a business, so take charge and do not put money above your health and safety!

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