Orblover

Thumb up the bum - no harm done?

74 posts in this topic

Sorry for the graphic heading, but I just wanted some feedback on a particular issue - in particular I would love to hear the views of ladies on this subject, which is: during 'the act' (both paid for and not) I find it a big turn on to gently slip a finger or thumb into a lady's bottom. I have had various responses from 'Excuse me, but will you kindly remove that' to 'Oh, God yes! YES! Y-E-S!'

As with all things sexual in my case, it only works as a turn on if the other person is really into it - or at the very least doesn't mind it. I am not into the idea of someone suffering in silence if it's not her cup of tea.

So my question is: is it really not the done thing to do such a thing without asking first? Obviously I wouldn't in a million years consider trying to slip anything larger (and say penis shaped) into an intimate place without securing prior permission. But I kind of had the view that, when it comes to fingers (and tongues I suppose), it comes more under the description of general foreplay.

Am I way off the mark here ladies? As always, I'm keen to do the right thing.

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Sorry for the graphic heading, but I just wanted some feedback on a particular issue - in particular I would love to hear the views of ladies on this subject, which is: during 'the act' (both paid for and not) I find it a big turn on to gently slip a finger or thumb into a lady's bottom. I have had various responses from 'Excuse me, but will you kindly remove that' to 'Oh, God yes! YES! Y-E-S!'

As with all things sexual in my case, it only works as a turn on if the other person is really into it - or at the very least doesn't mind it. I am not into the idea of someone suffering in silence if it's not her cup of tea.

So my question is: is it really not the done thing to do such a thing without asking first? Obviously I wouldn't in a million years consider trying to slip anything larger (and say penis shaped) into an intimate place without securing prior permission. But I kind of had the view that, when it comes to fingers (and tongues I suppose), it comes more under the description of general foreplay.

Am I way off the mark here ladies? As always, I'm keen to do the right thing.

I very much enjoy a tounge or a finger being gentley slipped into me but i have to be in the mood and some times if its done sharply i mite scream!!:D

im willing to try any thing once or twice heehee

xxx

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Could you explain what the appeal is Candy? With men there is the prostate up there, which is very sensitive, but what might a woman get out of it? :D

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Could you explain what the appeal is Candy? With men there is the prostate up there, which is very sensitive, but what might a woman get out of it? :D

I dont know babes....its just nice. I dont like full anal but am a big fan of rimming :D

xxx

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So my question is: is it really not the done thing to do such a thing without asking first? Obviously I wouldn't in a million years consider trying to slip anything larger (and say penis shaped) into an intimate place without securing prior permission. But I kind of had the view that, when it comes to fingers (and tongues I suppose), it comes more under the description of general foreplay.

Am I way off the mark here ladies? As always, I'm keen to do the right thing.

No, it is not the done thing without asking first.. If a girl is not used to having anything up there it is very painful and many girls simply do not like it due to the whole nature of that particular entry (or exit I should say!!.) I personally do not like anything up there.

I do prostrate massage sometimes on men and it is never possible to just put a finger in there instantly. You need lube and a very gently touch to start with so not your average foreplay at all.

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Mr jones summed it all up perfecty, 'they don't like it up'm'.

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When anyone asks me what I offer I always specify that anything in my bum does not turn me on. 90% of the time guys will say "Oh, I'm not into that". I say it upfront because it can offend and spoil the moment if/when a guy does try it.

:D

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If a lady offers A, its usually ok, but you have to go steady ahead, helps if you suck your thumb first.

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No, it is not the done thing without asking first.. If a girl is not used to having anything up there it is very painful and many girls simply do not like it due to the whole nature of that particular entry (or exit I should say!!.) I personally do not like anything up there.

I do prostrate massage sometimes on men and it is never possible to just put a finger in there instantly. You need lube and a very gently touch to start with so not your average foreplay at all.

Absolutely agree, Pia.

Of course it depends how its done, but then its can be applied to anything.

Unfortunately many guys just stuck finger or a few of them in, without any warning or "preparation".

Foreplay? WTF? Spent an hour or so rimming it first, then I might consider its as "foreplay" lol. It does hurts like hell at the worst, or extremely unpleasant.. at the best.

As Pia said: even the guys who ask for a prostate massage or to play with theirs bums with toys, would not like a sudden, or almost sudden insertion, and they are the ones who suppose to love it and have an anuses trained for it.

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If a lady offers A, its usually ok, but you have to go steady ahead, helps if you suck your thumb first.

But not after?:D

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But not after?:D

there is no general rule, every instance should be considered on its own merit, taking into consideration the heat of the moment, etc.

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I bow to your superier knowledge sir.

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If a lady offers A, its usually ok, but you have to go steady ahead, helps if you suck your thumb first.

LOL!

Seriously though: by the same logic, if the lady accepting penetrative sex, then why not go ahead and ram the fingers inside the vagina? Same applies to oral: if she takes cock in the mouth, might as well put some fingers if not a whole fist in her mouth also?

Fingers are not a boneless penis, and I am not just talking about long dirty nails, knuckles and sovereign rings, not that its usually covered with rubber either.

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Did i not say you have to go steady ahead, an old naval expression for making progress carefully ?

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Did i not say you have to go steady ahead, an old naval expression for making progress carefully ?

Of course: Hood was making progress carefully while chasing Bismarck, still bloody sunk. :D

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ok so are you reminding me that it is a good idea to clearly signal your intentions in advance of action ? probably very sound advice, but you'll agree sometimes the surprise factor adds a lot to the event, after all it is possible to slip your thumb into a ladies bum in a caring, loving manner? it doesnt have to be as you describe.

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ok so are you reminding me that it is a good idea to clearly signal your intentions in advance of action ? probably very sound advice, but you'll agree sometimes the surprise factor adds a lot to the event, after all it is possible to slip your thumb into a ladies bum in a caring, loving manner? it doesnt have to be as you describe.

Indeed, so does the surprise punch you will get when you do that!! :D

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Sorry for the graphic heading, but I just wanted some feedback on a particular issue - in particular I would love to hear the views of ladies on this subject, which is: during 'the act' (both paid for and not) I find it a big turn on to gently slip a finger or thumb into a lady's bottom. I have had various responses from 'Excuse me, but will you kindly remove that' to 'Oh, God yes! YES! Y-E-S!'

As with all things sexual in my case, it only works as a turn on if the other person is really into it - or at the very least doesn't mind it. I am not into the idea of someone suffering in silence if it's not her cup of tea.

So my question is: is it really not the done thing to do such a thing without asking first? Obviously I wouldn't in a million years consider trying to slip anything larger (and say penis shaped) into an intimate place without securing prior permission. But I kind of had the view that, when it comes to fingers (and tongues I suppose), it comes more under the description of general foreplay.

Am I way off the mark here ladies? As always, I'm keen to do the right thing.

No- there is no harm done as such, but everyone is different and have different preferences for what they like/dislike.

A guy sticking his fingers in from arse to pussy (sorry, no other way to put)

would be "cross transferring" - which basically means you can pick up a bacteria infection, leading to cystitis etc,. Ok, this is not what your asking, I know- but being a hygiene freak that I am, things like that do concern me, especially when you get a client that is a little bit toooo hyper/ott with the finger movements.

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So my question is: is it really not the done thing to do such a thing without asking first? Obviously I wouldn't in a million years consider trying to slip anything larger (and say penis shaped) into an intimate place without securing prior permission. But I kind of had the view that, when it comes to fingers (and tongues I suppose), it comes more under the description of general foreplay.

Am I way off the mark here ladies? As always, I'm keen to do the right thing.

I don't care what category it comes under I don't like it, and most men I've been with wouldn't dream of doing it unless I'd mentioned I like it first. Generally, during the preliminary chat with a new client, I ask if there's anything they wouldn't want me to do, and when asked the same question I mention that I don't like being licked (except during oral) or having anything up my bum. However, if you want to keep things more exploratory I'd suggest just putting a finger on the outside first to gauge reaction; if she moves away it's a no-no, but if she moves onto you it could be a yes.

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I don't care what category it comes under I don't like it, and most men I've been with wouldn't dream of doing it unless I'd mentioned I like it first. Generally, during the preliminary chat with a new client, I ask if there's anything they wouldn't want me to do, and when asked the same question I mention that I don't like being licked (except during oral) or having anything up my bum. However, if you want to keep things more exploratory I'd suggest just putting a finger on the outside first to gauge reaction; if she moves away it's a no-no, but if she moves onto you it could be a yes.

That's about right. Its good to be able to explore the other person gently, and personally I don't really like the idea that I've got to check everything off before any action starts. I will tend to start with gving some oral (after due introductions, lol, and then at some point I will usually flick my tongue over the anal area very lightly. If some fingers dont find their way down to gently move me away, I will proably lick some more, and later, very gently, play around the anus with one finger. If that is accepted I will probably ease a finger in, but ther whole process will take time as I don't go for quickies - on a half an hour punt its goiong to be a quick lick......

The anal area is sensitive and usually receptive to touching. I guess some girls might worry that one thing will lead to another, so put a stop to touching there when really they might allow it.

Something you can never get right all the time, anyway

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It can also cause a thrush attack since the very organisms which cause thrush are naturally in the bum area. It's the reason why girls are told to wipe from front-to-back.

Little known by men especially since a lot of porn shows penis swapping from A to the V.

:D

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It can also cause a thrush attack since the very organisms which cause thrush are naturally in the bum area. It's the reason why girls are told to wipe from front-to-back.

Little known by men especially since a lot of porn shows penis swapping from A to the V.

:D

I am surprised to hear of such a level of ignorance among men. I myself am highly aware of such matters - and indeed all the other issues raised by posters, such as the need to avoid long dirty finger nails, the importance of being extremely gentle at first, and of concentrating on external areas before even considering anything internal etc etc.

The original question was asked on the assumption that all of these were givens - I am slightly shocked that on a forum such as this (where people are obviously sexually active and, presumably, experienced) these kinds of things to do with basic hygiene and sexual health need to be pointed out.

You live and learn.

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no no thumbs up the bum thats very nasty i think:mad:

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It can also cause a thrush attack since the very organisms which cause thrush are naturally in the bum area. It's the reason why girls are told to wipe from front-to-back.

Little known by men especially since a lot of porn shows penis swapping from A to the V.

:D

I've never thought of that I'm a back wiper but always tend to wash that area anyway. You learn something everyday.

When I've got permission to put a finger up a girls botty I always have the urge to have a sniff must be a bit of a sicko!

:D

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Little known by men especially since a lot of porn shows penis swapping from A to the V.:D

Not so i think, i read it is considered very bad form in pornworld to do A before V, somewhat worse than using the wrong spoon for soup at dinner.

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