ynothgnis

New To Punting, Why Can't I "release"?

73 posts in this topic

Dear all

Up until five days ago I was a 31 year old virgin who had never even kissed a woman. I'm pretty happy with my life, have a job I love and a lovely small group of friends both male and female. I'm a *very* shy guy, very overweight (17.5 stones now though I've used to be 22 stones a few years back) and hairy which is why I've never had the confidence to seek physical or romantic companionship.

Long story cut short is I finally built up the guts to see an escort to loose my virginity with after many years of thinking about it. Met a lovely young woman through the 'purple site' with good reviews and she seemed happy to help me out. Had a lovely time, started with a massage before getting more intimate but for some reason I couldn't orgasm.

I can usually orgasm within three minutes on my own so I'm sure why this is happening? I couldn't really "feel" anything during the hand job or oral. Worse still, when we had sex in various positions I still couldn't feel much sensation in my penis and never even came close to an orgasm. I asked if I could kiss her (it was stated on her profile as something she offered) and she did -- best feeling ever, my first kiss! I don't think she was into it however as it was only a few pecks on the lips before she carried on with sex though when I asked again later on she obliged but I decided to stop the kissing as I really got the feeling she didn't like it too much (probably my fault as I've never kissed anyone before)

I thought maybe it was first time nerves that I couldn't 'release' and so saw a second escort two days later for a body-to-body oil massage (advertised as a nuru massage but she said she didn't have the oil but was very upfront about it over the phone - I just liked how at ease her manner was). This was by far the most erotic thing that has ever happened to me and I have never felt so aroused, she really knew what she was doing. However, when I turned over and she started hand relief I still didn't feel much. She tried oral with the same result. She then offered to let me masturbate over her which I thought was a very kind gesture on her part but even then I just couldn't release! :(

Both ladies were very understanding and did everything in their power to make me feel at ease. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, any advice? I feel a bit like a failure but apart from the 'sex' parts I really did enjoy myself.

Many thanks in advance for your time,

Tony

P.S, Although I've now penetrated a woman I did not orgasm -- am I still a virgin in that case?

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Perhaps you have become too accustomed to 'releasing' by yourself and there could be some sort of psychological block preventing you from doing so with someone else present. Were you perhaps a little anxious about the experience?

In all likelihood there's probably nothing wrong with you physically, I have heard of several other cases of people having similar problems. Since I'm yet to have a punt myself it is something I often wonder about though.

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Welcome to the board! Very upfront and honest post, hopefully you'll find some answers on here.

In my experience, not being able to orgasm could be down to a number of factors. One of the biggest ones is mental pressure that I can sometimes put on myself; if I think about the act of orgasm too much then it actually makes it more difficult. Maybe try and relax more if you can?

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punting is quite stresful, esp for newbies.

as you do more you will relax more and things will get better,i'm sure.

enjoy your new hobby.

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No idea at what point you go from being a virgin to not. I always thought it was penetration, regardless of whether or not an orgasm takes place for either person? *shrug*

I was also a very late starter by most modern standards, and couldn't orgasm during my first time (not with a WG). I didn't get much sensation either, but also.. I wasn't really that attracted to her. Sex isn't like wanking. I can knock one out in a couple of minutes on my own, but there's a lot more involved when there's other participants. You have to be really into her, for starters (or able to pretend she's someone else).

I enjoy kissing too (a lot!), and if you have to keep asking for it every 2 minutes, it's going to get a bit tedious after a while. Once I start, I like to continue - sometimes pretty much continuously up to the point of orgasm - assuming the position allows and my mouth (or hers) isn't busy in other areas ;)

Proper french kissing is so much better than pecks. You'll see.

Oh and I've had a failure-to-complete problem with other women too on/off. From my own research, it's normally down to either rubbish condoms (incredibly thick or tight), or a mental problem. If you're thinking too much or worrying too much, you won't enjoy it, no matter how skilled the lady is. First time I paid a lady for full sex, I couldn't sustain an erection because I was worrying so much about whether or not it was 'the right thing to be doing', and whether or not I was going to accidentally do something on her dislikes list, or whatever. Keep at it - it'll get better.

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You'll have the girls on here queuing up to take on your challenge.

If you're having a drop of dutch courage before hand, don't! or perhaps vice versa.

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Dear all Up until five days ago I was a 31 year old virgin who had never even kissed a woman. I'm pretty happy with my life, have a job I love and a lovely small group of friends both male and female. I'm a *very* shy guy, very overweight (17.5 stones now though I've used to be 22 stones a few years back) and hairy which is why I've never had the confidence to seek physical or romantic companionship. Long story cut short is I finally built up the guts to see an escort to loose my virginity with after many years of thinking about it. Met a lovely young woman through the 'purple site' with good reviews and she seemed happy to help me out. Had a lovely time, started with a massage before getting more intimate but for some reason I couldn't orgasm. I can usually orgasm within three minutes on my own so I'm sure why this is happening? I couldn't really "feel" anything during the hand job or oral. Worse still, when we had sex in various positions I still couldn't feel much sensation in my penis and never even came close to an orgasm. I asked if I could kiss her (it was stated on her profile as something she offered) and she did -- best feeling ever, my first kiss! I don't think she was into it however as it was only a few pecks on the lips before she carried on with sex though when I asked again later on she obliged but I decided to stop the kissing as I really got the feeling she didn't like it too much (probably my fault as I've never kissed anyone before) I thought maybe it was first time nerves that I couldn't 'release' and so saw a second escort two days later for a body-to-body oil massage (advertised as a nuru massage but she said she didn't have the oil but was very upfront about it over the phone - I just liked how at ease her manner was). This was by far the most erotic thing that has ever happened to me and I have never felt so aroused, she really knew what she was doing. However, when I turned over and she started hand relief I still didn't feel much. She tried oral with the same result. She then offered to let me masturbate over her which I thought was a very kind gesture on her part but even then I just couldn't release! :( Both ladies were very understanding and did everything in their power to make me feel at ease. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, any advice? I feel a bit like a failure but apart from the 'sex' parts I really did enjoy myself. Many thanks in advance for your time, Tony P.S, Although I've now penetrated a woman I did not orgasm -- am I still a virgin in that case?

Hi Tony. :) It sounds like its just a question of needing to relax going on similar posts i have read on here over the years. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy yourself and that will hopefully help. Its a case of practice makes perfect in my experience.

If you have penetrated you arent a virgin in my view whether you came or not but my advice is dont worry about that, take it at your own pace and i wish you all the best. :)

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Welcome from a relative newbie, both to the forum and the hobby.

Your description of yourself reminds me a lot of myself (although I lost my virginity at 18, that relationship didn't last long, and there hasn't been one since) as I'm just a bit older than you, also very shy, much the same weight, and unless I do something about it (see some of my other posts here) resemble a gorilla!

As has been said above, you have to relax. For my first visit to an escort I was extremely nervous, probably visibly shaking, but she was great and allowed me to talk through everything first - and eventually I relaxed enough to be able to enjoy myself. On her part she put no pressure on me whatsoever, and seemed to be genuinely concerned with helping me to be able to get as much as possible out of my time with her. I also learnt then that the release isn't everything - a lot of fun can still be had on way :)

I've been back to her several times since, and I've found things much easier since we've got to know each other a bit. I've seen a couple of other escorts since - going for those where feedback suggests they are relaxed and friendly, and it's helped to build up my confidence a great deal. For me there's no point thinking about a 'quickie' or even booking an hour - I've found that 2 hours is what I need, as I then don't feel rushed.

So my advice, stop thinking about the 'release' and try to relax and enjoy the experience (I know, easier said than done), take the time that you need, don't feel any pressure - and remember that others have been there too!

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Thank you all kindly for the responses, it's actually kind of comforting to get other people's thoughts on this question. :)

Perhaps you have become too accustomed to 'releasing' by yourself and there could be some sort of psychological block preventing you from doing so with someone else present. Were you perhaps a little anxious about the experience?

I often masturbate several times a week (with a condom on because I find it less messy though I'm not a neat freak) and usually need a tight grip and a need to play with my balls. I didn't masturbate for 6 days before seeing the first escort which is the longest I've gone without for nearly 10 years. The two women I've seen use much softer grips and didn't concentrate on the balls much though I did ask (I'm completely shaved on shaft and balls) though to be fair the Nuru Masseuse did some great ball play with her mouth. I had some anxiety to start with but each time they disappeared once the ladies starting chatting with me. My only worry during the session was that I would go over time without realising (I don't want to be *that* guy who takes advantage and so kept an eye on the clock and made sure I was out the door a few minutes before the time was up).

Welcome to the board! Very upfront and honest post, hopefully you'll find some answers on here.

In my experience, not being able to orgasm could be down to a number of factors. One of the biggest ones is mental pressure that I can sometimes put on myself; if I think about the act of orgasm too much then it actually makes it more difficult. Maybe try and relax more if you can?

Cheers mate. Due to this all being anonymous I feel I can be completely honest on here (which is quite a freeing feeling). I only started to think about the act of orgasm when I realised that whilst I was really enjoying what was happening there was no build-up of tension that normally precedes it. Both women were really nice about the whole situation in their respective sessions. I just said "sorry, I don't think it's going to happen" as I didn't know what else to say. I'm not sure how I could relax more to be honest as during the massage phases (especially the nuru one) I had never felt so relaxed in my entire life.

punting is quite stresful, esp for newbies. as you do more you will relax more and things will get better,i'm sure. enjoy your new hobby.

Thanks and I am enjoying myself thus far my friend. Everything leading up to the part where I'm told by the escort I can "release" if I like is just mind blowing to me. I'm thinking of doing this on a weekly or bi-weekly basis.

I was also a very late starter by most modern standards, and couldn't orgasm during my first time (not with a WG). I didn't get much sensation either, but also.. I wasn't really that attracted to her. Sex isn't like wanking. I can knock one out in a couple of minutes on my own, but there's a lot more involved when there's other participants. You have to be really into her, for starters (or able to pretend she's someone else).

I enjoy kissing too (a lot!), and if you have to keep asking for it every 2 minutes, it's going to get a bit tedious after a while. Once I start, I like to continue - sometimes pretty much continuously up to the point of orgasm - assuming the position allows and my mouth (or hers) isn't busy in other areas ;)

Proper french kissing is so much better than pecks. You'll see.

Oh and I've had a failure-to-complete problem with other women too on/off. From my own research, it's normally down to either rubbish condoms (incredibly thick or tight), or a mental problem. If you're thinking too much or worrying too much, you won't enjoy it, no matter how skilled the lady is. First time I paid a lady for full sex, I couldn't sustain an erection because I was worrying so much about whether or not it was 'the right thing to be doing', and whether or not I was going to accidentally do something on her dislikes list, or whatever. Keep at it - it'll get better.

You know, I hadn't actually considered thinking/pretending she's someone else but that's a really good idea which I'll try this Friday (same lady I saw the first time). How long did it take until you started getting more sensation? Now that I've tried it I love kissing. I really hope I find someone who will allow me to indulge in that activity (I have fresh breath and am clean shaved but I know I'm not good looking so I can't really blame them). When I was received oral with a condom (my request) with the first escort and without a condom (wasn't offered an option) with the second, in both cases it felt almost the same with just a bit more feeling without. I memorised the dislikes list because like you I didn't want to accidently do anything to offend, and even with her likes list I asked first (including if I could look at her during oral) because again I didn't want to offend.

Relax ??!! :lol:

During both sessions I have never been more relaxed in my entire life once the massage was underway.

You'll have the girls on here queuing up to take on your challenge. If you're having a drop of dutch courage before hand, don't! or perhaps vice versa.

lol, as soon as I find a women I can orgasm with I will become a regular for sure! I don't drink, and actually on the day only have a light breakfast of fruit and fibre, and water throughout the day before visiting the lady in the evening.

Hi Tony. :) It sounds like its just a question of needing to relax going on similar posts i have read on here over the years. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy yourself and that will hopefully help. Its a case of practice makes perfect in my experience.

If you have penetrated you arent a virgin in my view whether you came or not but my advice is dont worry about that, take it at your own pace and i wish you all the best. :)

Thanks. I intend to see mostly different escorts on a weekly/bi-weekly basis so should get a lot of practice in (I'm based in Central London so there's a lot of ladies around I can travel to directly after work). I've just looked up the virginity question and your quite right, turns out I'm not a virgin any more in the technical sense which is kind of cool. Funny, I always thought loosing my virginity would make me feel different but not thus far, still feel the same if not a bit more confident.

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I was in a similar position last year (26 and never even kissed a girl properly, let alone had sex) and went to see an escort. The thing I was worried about was cumming too quickly, but it wasn't an issue and hasn't been on my 2 subsequent punts either. Like you, I don't have any difficulty on my own and can get there very quickly if needs be :D But with the escort it's taken much longer for me to orgasm.

I think we're just so used to doing it on our own, same specific technique for all those years, that it can take a bit of time if you're trying something new. How long was your first booking? Mine was an hour and I ran out of time before I had cum, but thankfully I managed to add on some more time to the end of the booking and got there in the end. :D Perhaps a longer booking for you would be better - you won't be worrying about running out of time, so you'll be able to relax.

As for oral - was it with a condom? If not, then maybe the escort just isn't great at giving oral, or at least not in the way you'd like it - maybe try mentioning how you like it - firmer, faster, more hand action or whatever. Communication is vital I guess. For me, the oral has been fantastic, I was lucky to find an escort who really seems to do it perfectly for me. I do agree with you about the actual sex though - but there's always going to be reduced sensation when using a condom I suppose. Also, if you masturbate a lot, perhaps try going a few days without it before your next punt, then when you're with the lady you'll be ready to pop :lol:

Like others have said, you just have to try and relax, lie back and enjoy things. The less you worry about it, the easier it'll be, so just try to forget what's happened before and enjoy your next time.

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Welcome from a relative newbie, both to the forum and the hobby.

Your description of yourself reminds me a lot of myself (although I lost my virginity at 18, that relationship didn't last long, and there hasn't been one since) as I'm just a bit older than you, also very shy, much the same weight, and unless I do something about it (see some of my other posts here) resemble a gorilla!

As has been said above, you have to relax. For my first visit to an escort I was extremely nervous, probably visibly shaking, but she was great and allowed me to talk through everything first - and eventually I relaxed enough to be able to enjoy myself. On her part she put no pressure on me whatsoever, and seemed to be genuinely concerned with helping me to be able to get as much as possible out of my time with her. I also learnt then that the release isn't everything - a lot of fun can still be had on way :)

I've been back to her several times since, and I've found things much easier since we've got to know each other a bit. I've seen a couple of other escorts since - going for those where feedback suggests they are relaxed and friendly, and it's helped to build up my confidence a great deal. For me there's no point thinking about a 'quickie' or even booking an hour - I've found that 2 hours is what I need, as I then don't feel rushed.

So my advice, stop thinking about the 'release' and try to relax and enjoy the experience (I know, easier said than done), take the time that you need, don't feel any pressure - and remember that others have been there too!

Nice to meet you mate and nice to know there's other people like me out there :D The biggest surprise for me thus far has been how unfazed both escorts were with me being fat and hairy (both said they had seen bigger and hairier which in a strange way was really comforting even if it wasn't true). I read feedback extensively as well as blogs to try and figure out what the lady's personality is like and what they write to put newbies like me at ease (I submitted a field report to punternet but it never showed up; I've put in on the 'pink site' too so others can benefit the way I did, like the idea of contributing back). I've done 90 minutes sessions but get the feeling the lady would get very bored/tied after two hours and that would make me feel awkward. You're right about trying to just enjoy the experience because that's what I'm doing regardless of the releasing part (though obviously I'd still like that to happen). Cheers!

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I was in a similar position last year (26 and never even kissed a girl properly, let alone had sex) and went to see an escort. The thing I was worried about was cumming too quickly, but it wasn't an issue and hasn't been on my 2 subsequent punts either. Like you, I don't have any difficulty on my own and can get there very quickly if needs be :D But with the escort it's taken much longer for me to orgasm.

I think we're just so used to doing it on our own, same specific technique for all those years, that it can take a bit of time if you're trying something new. How long was your first booking? Mine was an hour and I ran out of time before I had cum, but thankfully I managed to add on some more time to the end of the booking and got there in the end. :D Perhaps a longer booking for you would be better - you won't be worrying about running out of time, so you'll be able to relax.

As for oral - was it with a condom? If not, then maybe the escort just isn't great at giving oral, or at least not in the way you'd like it - maybe try mentioning how you like it - firmer, faster, more hand action or whatever. Communication is vital I guess. For me, the oral has been fantastic, I was lucky to find an escort who really seems to do it perfectly for me. I do agree with you about the actual sex though - but there's always going to be reduced sensation when using a condom I suppose. Also, if you masturbate a lot, perhaps try going a few days without it before your next punt, then when you're with the lady you'll be ready to pop :lol:

Like others have said, you just have to try and relax, lie back and enjoy things. The less you worry about it, the easier it'll be, so just try to forget what's happened before and enjoy your next time.

I think you're right about communication being the key here, telling the lady what I like. I'm the kind of guy who hates confrontation and avoids arguments but given the amount of money being exchanged (£120 for 1 hour FS, and then on the second occasion with the Nuru lady £240 for 90 mins) I guess I'm just going to have to do my best to very politely ask for a firmer grip etc. Feels odd as I don't want to offend but I will give this a go this Friday (i did makes some very polite requests in the first session but it was only follower for 20secs before she reverted back so I'll try and be more assertive). Apart for the orgasm part I really am having the most awesome time during the sensual bits.

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NOTE: You don't have to read this post! I know it's long, basically a blog entry for my first escort experience so everyone knows where I'm coming from :)

I know links to other sites aren't allowed and so I thought that if I copy/pasted my field report from the other website so you could see where I'm coming from (hope this is OK, changed ladies name to WG to hopefully still stay within rules):

Context: Not only was this my first booking ever with an adult service provider, I was also a 31 year old virgin, very overweight, hairy (trimmed), and extremely shy. I've never even had a massage before, or even kissed a woman. I just thought I'd give it a go.

Making the booking: I sent WG an email introducing myself and asking for a booking the following day, requesting that she take the lead during the session due to my nerves. She replied very quickly and reassured me that there was no need to be nervous. She asked that I phone her to confirm. She was very polite and easy-going over the phone. Communication was very good and friendly. She then texted me the details for the hotel.

Arriving at the hotel: It was 60 seconds from Aldgate East tube station. Instructions were to phone her when I reached the outside of the hotel. Unfortunately when I did her phone was busy. She sent a txt message reading "1 min pls". Appointment was for 5pm and I was there at 4:56pm so that was fine and I'm assuming she was finishing off with another client (I don't know, just guessing). At 5:05pm she sent me a missed call so I phoned her back and she gave me instructions on how to get to the lifts, and which floor and room number she was in. I misheard her at first and so had to ring back to confirm the floor and room number (entirely my fault).

Arriving at the room: Very easy to find. WG is absolutely stunning, couldn't believe how good she looked, but more than than she had a very friendly smile which I've always found to be the best thing about people personally.She welcomed me in and asked to take my coat to hang up. I tried to be smooth and hand over the payment (in an unsealed envelope) but given my nerves I gave her the piece of paper with the map to the hotel on it instead! I was so embarrassed! Luckily she laughed it off as a simple mistake which made me feel at ease. I then got the envelope out from the correct pocket this time and asked her to count it to make sure it was correct (to be honest, I mainly requested she count it so she wouldn't think I was ripping her off or anything given that I had just tried to give her a piece of paper by mistake!). See asked if I would like to take a shower or if I was OK but I requested the shower.

Shower: Clean, functional, comfortable, with body gell on the side for cleaning. Clean towel, very nice space.

Session: I came out of the shower with WG on the bed wearing her rather seductive combination of bra, panties and stockings. She was surprised that after having the shower I had put my clothes back on (I had no idea I was suppose to walk back into the room naked as I've never read that before in any of my research when trying to figure out how to behave with an escort but at least I know now lol!). Again she laughed it off as a simple mistake which again made me feel at ease. I then took off all my clothes (I asked her if I should completely naked and she said yes to all clothes coming off) and said we can start with her giving me a massage (she said she would use only a little oil which was nice).

I lay down on my front (towel underneath me). WG was very chatty and told me a bit about herself and I did likewise which I found made me feel less nervous. Massage was pleasant and covered by back, bottom and thighs. I really enjoyed this. She asked me to turn over and if I wanted oral with or without a condom. As this was my first time I asked for with a condom. I asked if I could look at her while she did oral and she was happy to let me and even looked me in the eyes at times which I found simultaneously both erotic and nerve-racking. I think she noticed that and so only did that every once in a while but was very playful with me. She also did this cool thing where when I was on my back the side of her leg was against my sides which was quite thrilling and then when I turned over she straddled my left leg which was just a mind-blowing sensation to me. I don't know if this is usual but I couldn't really feel anything with the condom for much of the time even though WG did so some pretty cool stuff with her tongue. I think I might try oral without a condom at some point just to feel the difference. The best parts were when she played with my balls, such a great sensation, wish I had asked for more of that as it was such a turn on in combination with a hand job.

She then asked if I would like sex and I said yes (she had taken her clothes off and was naked). She took off the condom and replaced it with a new one (for a moment there I got very scared as I misread the situation when she took the condom off after asking if I'd like to have sex but again she laughed off my embarrassment and happily assured me that she was only removing it to put a new one on! I can't tell you how happy I am that WG is very understanding and easy-going when fools like me suddenly freeze trying to figure out what's about to happen!).

She then got on top for sex and said I could touch her, even directing me to her breasts when I was initially shy. I asked if I could kiss her and she said yes and actually she bent down to kiss me on my lips and it was rather nice, my first kiss ever. We kissed several times while touching her. She was very energetic which rather impressed me.

I could tell she was get tired from being on top (anyone would after a long period of time) and asked if I'd like to change positions. My mind went blank at this point as I couldn't think of what other positions there were but again WG came to the rescue and suggested either missionary or doggy. I choose doggy and again was embarrassed because I didn't know how to get enter her but WG was good enough to guide me with her hand. I had no idea how exhausting this position could be! I kept slipping out and she, without any problem, inserted me in (I have no idea how guys know how to do this kind of stuff?!). I had the most amazing view of her back and bum. Again I couldn't really feel anything with the condom on but that's just something I'm going to have to get used to because there's no way I would every have sex without one. I think people just adjust to the lack of feeling I guess? The only comparison I have is my hand.

As I had gotten tired after a short time from doggy, we tried missionary. I liked this because I got to be close to WG and feel her, but again I don't know what's wrong with me but I couldn't feel anything much 'down there' and had to admit it probably wasn't going to happen. WG then gave me a hand job but (no condom) but still I couldn't cum and decided it just wasn't going to happen. WG was very good about this and asked if I'd like to take a shower before I left but as there was still about 5 minutes left I asked if we could cuddle and she happily agreed and we ended the time with a few minutes of cuddling, kissing and fondling. (NOTE: WG did not clock watch and I actually asked her to let me know when there were only 5 minutes left in the session). As the TV was tuned to a radio station with the time it was easy for me to make sure I didn't go over (I really didn't want to be someone who takes advantage especially given the intimate nature of the session).

I got dressed and WG handed over my coat. I wasn't sure how to end and was about to move forward to give a handshake and then she moved slightly forward with what looked like a hug and so I changed midstream and we ended with a hug (which was a nice gesture I thought as I wasn't sure what the etiquette for saying good bye was). She walked me over to the door and helped me open it as I couldn't figure it out (turns out it just needs a strong pull).

And that's my review! I put in a lot of information just incase anyone else who's new reads it can get a good idea of what occurs. WG was a delight and i would happily see her again, and probably will. I really enjoyed her massage. I think I might try a few body-to-body massages I've seen on this website but will vist WG again at some point. Maybe when I'm more used to sex with a condom I will enjoy it more as finally have an orgasm with a woman (I'm still not sure if I'm a virgin because I didn't orgasm but I'm pretty sure that at least in the technical sense I'm no longer one).

Either way I still had a fantastic time. I don't know if WG genuinely enjoyed herself but she never let on that she didn't and also at no point made me feel like I was ugly or untouchable which meant more to me than anything else during our time and for that I will be forever grateful. I know it sounds sad but even though I didn't orgasm I still "feel" like maybe I'm not a complete disaster if someone as attractive as WG can at the very least pretend to enjoy my company :)

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Well I was a virgin on my first punt, when I told the WG and warned her I was probably gonna cum rediculously fast she actually told me in her experience it very often works the other way entirely. I only came in the last few minutes of the booking and the poor girls arm was about to fall off I think!

2nd punt I found a lovely indie and felt more relaxed and had an incredible time and came pretty much when I decided I wanted to. Might take you a couple more before you relax about it if your particularly shy/nervous. Try and just stick with 1 position, something like cowgirl where you don't have to necessarily keep up a rythym yourself you can just chill and enjoy her riding you.

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Perhaps you have become too accustomed to 'releasing' by yourself and there could be some sort of psychological block preventing you from doing so with someone else present.

That is actually a medical condition you know, not sure if it has a name though.

Before I married Mr.Lucy he had just used his hand for many a year.

It had got to the stage that to cum he had to finish himself off, he is past that stage now though I am pleased to say.

You guys are complex creatures you know.

When you think about stuff too much it will effect you.

You are over the first hurdle now though.

Relax, chill out and just go with the flow.

My suggestion is to pick a lovely lady and book her for about an hour and a half to two hours, that is plenty of time to let things happen naturally and nature should take its course.

Tell the lady as well a bit about yourself and your situation.

When you both allow it to flow I am sure you will flow, if you get my meaning Sir ;)

Cumming is not the be all and end all of a good meeting, but I do realise that for you it is important.

You are now not a virgin by the way!

Lucy :)

Edited by Lucy7

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Well I was a virgin on my first punt, when I told the WG and warned her I was probably gonna cum rediculously fast she actually told me in her experience it very often works the other way entirely. I only came in the last few minutes of the booking and the poor girls arm was about to fall off I think!

2nd punt I found a lovely indie and felt more relaxed and had an incredible time and came pretty much when I decided I wanted to. Might take you a couple more before you relax about it if your particularly shy/nervous. Try and just stick with 1 position, something like cowgirl where you don't have to necessarily keep up a rythym yourself you can just chill and enjoy her riding you.

Couldn't feel much during any of cowgirl / doggy (which BTW was sooooooooo exhausting!) / missionary. It seems it just takes a few punts to get into the rhythm of things so I'm going to aim for that. It really is rather comforting that this happens to other people (when I first went I thought I would orgasm within a few minutes so was very surprised when it didn't and actually began to think I must be really good in terms of self control because I hadn't released until I realised that I couldn't release at all!).

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Some good advice here. Take heed of it.

Suggest you find a classsy mature indie - they have much experience - and talk to her beforehand being quite open with her. If she doesn't sound sympathetic, look for another. When you visit take great care over your personal hygiene (not that I am suggesting etc. etc.) and appearance. Treat the lady well and concentrate upon her pleasure as well as your own. (They are not lifeless 'sex machines' you know.) If you get on well, visit her a few more times and build up confidence.

Also, condoms, in my experience, reduce sensitivity so you may want to wank over her to finish. (Lots of women have told me how the sight of a man wanking ios a big turn on for them and how they like having cum over them.)

And, of course, you are no longer a virgin.

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Around a third of my punts have ended without 'release', it's frustrating & baffling to me as in my civilian LTRs I've not had a problem and bizarrely I've always cum at the 6 Lady Marmalade parties I've attended where there can be up to 12 people in the room, also on my 10-15min. Soho 'quickie' punts.

I put it down to a combination of factors, each coming into play in different measures on different punts: the numbing effect of the condom, the 'countdown' effect toward the end of a timed session, the unfamiliarity/strange noises of the venue, the unattractiveness/lack of enthusiasm of the girl, concentrating on stimulating conversation instead of the action, failure to relax as I put pressure on myself to impress a very attractive girl, spending too long giving the girl pleasure that it leaves too little time, not 'saving up' for long enough.......and probably over-analysing!!!! :lol:

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[...]

My suggestion is to pick a lovely lady and book her for about an hour and a half to two hours, that is plenty of time to let things happen naturally and nature should take its course.

Tell the lady as well a bit about yourself and your situation.

When you both allow it to flow I am sure you will flow, if you get my meaning Sir ;)

[...]

You are now not a virgin by the way!

Lucy :)

Thanks :) I think this idea of doing longer sessions may be the way forward because otherwise I become somewhat paranoid that I'm going to go overtime and have the lady secretly resent me (I dislike meetings which go over time in my professional life and so would feel awful doing that to an escort). In my first session it was easy for me to self-monitor because the tv showed the time and I made sure I was out the door a few minutes early. In the second session, this time with a masseuse, there was no way for me to know but luckily the masseuse seemed to manage the time well and I was out the door 10 minutes early.

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Suggest you find a classsy mature indie - they have much experience - and talk to her beforehand being quite open with her. If she doesn't sound sympathetic, look for another. When you visit take great care over your personal hygiene (not that I am suggesting etc. etc.) and appearance. Treat the lady well and concentrate upon her pleasure as well as your own. (They are not lifeless 'sex machines' you know.) If you get on well, visit her a few more times and build up confidence.

To be honest, I didn't think about concentrating upon giving the lady pleasure because (1) I really have *no* idea how I would do that and (2) I sort of assumed that escorts probably don't really want me concentrating on them? When I tried the kissing thing (I was very gentle) I got the impression she didn't like it and so I stopped. I agree with your personal hygiene / appearance comment and always make sure I'm the best I can be (I found that this gives me confidence and reduces my initial nerves) :)

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It may be a case of nerves, first time pressure, etc.

But if you say that there is little sensation in the penis, it could be something deeper. I'm curious to ask if you watch alot of porn?

There are theories that suggest that modern porn is some kind of hyper-simulant that keeps young guys hooked like an addictive drug, to which real life experiences just can't compete.

Then again I'm probably barking up the wrong tree. I'm sure you will figure out what you need.

Learning to relax and not fixate on any preconceptions sounds like good advice.

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Around a third of my punts have ended without 'release', it's frustrating & baffling to me as in my civilian LTRs I've not had a problem and bizarrely I've always cum at the 6 Lady Marmalade parties I've attended where there can be up to 12 people in the room, also on my 10-15min. Soho 'quickie' punts.

I put it down to a combination of factors, each coming into play in different measures on different punts: the numbing effect of the condom, the 'countdown' effect toward the end of a timed session, the unfamiliarity/strange noises of the venue, the unattractiveness/lack of enthusiasm of the girl, concentrating on stimulating conversation instead of the action, failure to relax as I put pressure on myself to impress a very attractive girl, spending too long giving the girl pleasure that it leaves too little time, not 'saving up' for long enough.......and probably over-analysing!!!! :lol:

I found from the start that the additional visual stimulation of multiple women at parties ensured i popped more than at most 121 punts. I have experienced problems with popping though on occassions and its usually been down to putting pressure on myself when in reality there wasnt any pressure. ;)

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I do sympathise with the OP, I'm in exactly the same position. I did have a very long abstinence (30+ years) So thought I would come in seconds on my first visit to a WG.

That I didn't, left me bewildered at best, as like the OP, I can come within a couple of minutes on my own. Whether its due to relying on visual stimulus for decades or just plain nerves, I don't know.

I have tried bookings from 1 hour to an entire weekend without success, if using the criteria of coming as the goal. Of course I enjoyed the closeness and the bookings as a whole. I do think there is an added pressure in paid for pleasure in that you are seeing a professional and you do feel a certain amount of guilt if you don't produce 'the goods'

I'm afraid I don't have an answer. And as much as we all say its the journey and not and the arrival that matters, The desolate feeling that you have let your chosen partner down, by not reaching the ultimate goal will just not go away.

My financial circumstances are about to change, which will call a halt to my exploration. I shall go to my grave wondering what that mutual pleasure most people experience without thought or effort is all about.

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I'm curious to ask if you watch alot of porn?

I think I do watch a lot of porn (anything between 5 minutes to an hour a day at times) but have found that most of it bores me (though have no problem cumming to the boring stuff). I find I get most turned on by either the really sensual material or the really submissive but loving partner material. I really do hope I haven't 'ruined' myself due to this activity.

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