Samwise

Putting The Genie Back In The Bottle?

19 posts in this topic

Hi,

I am in my early forties. I started punting in my late 20's and had fun for a few years (mainly at parlours) until I met a nice civvie girl and gave up for five years in which time we set up home together and had a couple of kids.

After they arrived my wife went off sex completely so, after 18 months of celibacy and some arguments, I started punting again to ease my frustrations. This worked well as I was very discreet, spent modestly and became far more relaxed due to getting my fix regularly.

In the time that I abstained the scene had changed - fewer parlours and more indies - and I found myself favouring a couple of regulars rather than a new girl every time. This led to the quality of the sex improving as we became more familiar and I also tried A and a couple of two girl sessions.

Just recently my wife has shown some signs of her libido returning - we have sex about once a fortnight but it is very limited - missionary or spoons - and tends to be over in minutes. I enjoy it but am a bit frustrated that she is so limited in what she is willing to do - no oral, doggy etc. which we used to do when we first met. I guess that she is less confident about her body and I have tried reassuring her, taking her away for the odd weekend etc. but it is still fairly restrained. I plan to persevere and have cut back on the punting over the past couple of months but am finding it difficult to stop completely (I have got used to gorgeous young things swapping positions and sucking enthusiastically!)

Has anyone else gone through this and, if so, did you give up punting or carry on?

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Hi, I am in my early forties. I started punting in my late 20's and had fun for a few years (mainly at parlours) until I met a nice civvie girl and gave up for five years in which time we set up home together and had a couple of kids. After they arrived my wife went off sex completely so, after 18 months of celibacy and some arguments, I started punting again to ease my frustrations. This worked well as I was very discreet, spent modestly and became far more relaxed due to getting my fix regularly. In the time that I abstained the scene had changed - fewer parlours and more indies - and I found myself favouring a couple of regulars rather than a new girl every time. This led to the quality of the sex improving as we became more familiar and I also tried A and a couple of two girl sessions. Just recently my wife has shown some signs of her libido returning - we have sex about once a fortnight but it is very limited - missionary or spoons - and tends to be over in minutes. I enjoy it but am a bit frustrated that she is so limited in what she is willing to do - no oral, doggy etc. which we used to do when we first met. I guess that she is less confident about her body and I have tried reassuring her, taking her away for the odd weekend etc. but it is still fairly restrained. I plan to persevere and have cut back on the punting over the past couple of months but am finding it difficult to stop completely (I have got used to gorgeous young things swapping positions and sucking enthusiastically!) Has anyone else gone through this and, if so, did you give up punting or carry on?

I havent as fortunately i have always had a good home sex life but desire variety, am selfish and punting is my preferred option over having an affair. I have always punted since i was 19, i am now 47 through all my relationships. All i can advise is do what makes you happy, hopefully others who have been through similar will be of help. Good luck whatever you decide. :)

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Have you told her how you feel? Do you pay her compliments? Don't assume she knows.

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Have you told her how you feel? Do you pay her compliments? Don't assume she knows.

Is it the norm these days for a man to pay compliments to his wife before she grants him what he desires in bed?

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Is it the norm these days for a man to pay compliments to his wife before she grants him what he desires in bed?

Even as a complete stranger to norms, I would say before, during, and after, to be on the safe side.

Costs you nothing, unlike this hobby.

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Is it the norm these days for a man to pay compliments to his wife before she grants him what he desires in bed?

"Well, if she calls, just be gentle. Like you're happy to hear from her. You know, like you really miss her.

Women love that shit."

(Thelma and Louise)

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"Well, if she calls, just be gentle. Like you're happy to hear from her. You know, like you really miss her.

Women love that shit."

(Thelma and Louise)

ah, yes. Good Memories that movie.

as for the "genie back in the bottle" : prolly cant.

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Hi,

I am in my early forties. I started punting in my late 20's and had fun for a few years (mainly at parlours) until I met a nice civvie girl and gave up for five years in which time we set up home together and had a couple of kids.

After they arrived my wife went off sex completely so, after 18 months of celibacy and some arguments, I started punting again to ease my frustrations. This worked well as I was very discreet, spent modestly and became far more relaxed due to getting my fix regularly.

In the time that I abstained the scene had changed - fewer parlours and more indies - and I found myself favouring a couple of regulars rather than a new girl every time. This led to the quality of the sex improving as we became more familiar and I also tried A and a couple of two girl sessions.

Just recently my wife has shown some signs of her libido returning - we have sex about once a fortnight but it is very limited - missionary or spoons - and tends to be over in minutes. I enjoy it but am a bit frustrated that she is so limited in what she is willing to do - no oral, doggy etc. which we used to do when we first met. I guess that she is less confident about her body and I have tried reassuring her, taking her away for the odd weekend etc. but it is still fairly restrained. I plan to persevere and have cut back on the punting over the past couple of months but am finding it difficult to stop completely (I have got used to gorgeous young things swapping positions and sucking enthusiastically!)

Has anyone else gone through this and, if so, did you give up punting or carry on?

I can relate to some parts of your life .

In my case , gave up sex with the wife . Carried on punting . A lot easier .

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Have you told her how you feel? Do you pay her compliments? Don't assume she knows.

My God, I'm trying to imagine how I'd feel after 40 or so years of having to do that to the same woman. It doesn't bare thinkng about. :eek:

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Whoa!

My comment was based on her lack of body confidence & him clearly fancying her. How is she meant to know if he never tells her?

As a girl who grew up on RomComs and Mills & Boons, I find guys my age act like Poker Players. They don't pay anyone any compliments, are silent when they cum & don't buy chocolates.

My clients are different, even the young ones. I don't even think they realise they're paying me compliments.

Sometimes I think men act better with escorts.

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This thread comes up in different guises from time to time, and the posts follow a predictable pattern. Frequently the fall in libido is hormonal, and no amount of wooing will make a blind bit of difference, but that's not to say that there's no point therefore in making any effort.

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The odd compliment and the odd weekend away often isn't enough, just as missionary/spoons isn't enough for most men.

It is amazing the amout of power we wield as men to boost women. I love all that shit the smallest thing to a women can have gargantuan meaning, they're amazing like that.. but every now and then isn't enough or so i have been told.

It depends how commited you are to the premise, giving up anything is hard.. It's like a drug, a beautiful drug with one hell of a comedown.

The times when i've stopped i've felt relief, maybe you should try cold turkey and see whats left of you after that?

The genie can go back in, not willingly, it's more a battle of the wills

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In my case, I always have to initiate, it takes ages to get her going, once going it is reasonable, but quite frankly not really worth the effort.

A bit like driving a Skoda or hiring an Aston Martin.

We cannot afford to drive an Aston all the time, but when you just want to drive something special, it is worth the hire charge.

The Skoda is fine for shopping, the school run, and commuting, but really quite boring to drive quickly down a fast windy road.

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Same for me, once the little one had come along the wife has completely gone off, I find myself more and more looking at the various sites tempting me to drag me back into my old ways. Haven't been pulled back yet but almost

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Thanks for the responses everyone. I have abstained from punting for just over a month now. Sex with the missus is around once a week and still limited but enough to take the edge off the urge to punt. Will make a concerted effort to build her confidence with compliments etc.

However I have just seen that one of my favourite girls has a special discount offer at the moment - tempted - must keep off the purple site!

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In my case, I always have to initiate, it takes ages to get her going, once going it is reasonable, but quite frankly not really worth the effort.

I think I've reached that point too - I'm just not that bothered. Mind you I've not punted for over two months either so maybe my libido has just crashed.

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In my case, I always have to initiate, it takes ages to get her going, once going it is reasonable, but quite frankly not really worth the effort.

The last time Mrs. Bloom and I had a go - ten years ago, was it? - we both realised halfway through we weren't really feeling much involvement in it, and decided to abandon shag. We never tried again.

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After years of negativity, putting up barriers, and obvious raised-eyes chore-like compliance from her, I gave up trying, took up punting, and never looked back

So because I am not trying the contrarian in her is wondering why and is talking about trying again but it's too late. I have lost that feeling for her.

I am sure that if she had not been as she was, we would not be where we are now, and I think that if civilian women could really understand how completely fucking crucial sexual intimacy is for men, there would be far fewer broken marriages.

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(I have got used to gorgeous young things swapping positions and sucking enthusiastically!)

Maybe she senses that the above quote is at least partly how you feel, women tend to have a good intuition on matters like that. I once had a partner who reassured me til the cows came home but for some reason (maybe comments he made when he though I wasn't really listening) I could still sense that he wasn't that 'into' me sexually, and would have preferred someone else being there physically. Turned out I was too old for him (this was when I was 22!) - he was 25 but preferred 17-20 y.o ladies.

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