blkcountry

Embarrassing, Funny Or Mood Killing Situations?

38 posts in this topic

The topic came up whilst I was down the pub the other week about embarrassing or mood killing things that happen whist ‘on the job’. Friends being friends reminded me of the time they screwed me over on holiday. Not in a bad way, just in a funny way.

Whilst on a lad’s holiday I managed to persuade this girl back to my room for a spot of holiday fun. I told my mates to get lost and go into the next room which fair play to them they did.

They also took the ipod with them and as payback dangled the speakers over the wall and played the shittiest music at full volume the whole time.

Having sex to the 1960’s batman theme, airwolf theme, we are sailing, playing with the boys from Top Gun and loads of others made it really hard to concentrate on the job at hand. Not to mention what she thought about my taste in music, ha!

Everyone else got any funny/embarrassing tales to tell?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The topic came up whilst I was down the pub the other week about embarrassing or mood killing things that happen whist ‘on the job’. Friends being friends reminded me of the time they screwed me over on holiday. Not in a bad way, just in a funny way.

Whilst on a lad’s holiday I managed to persuade this girl back to my room for a spot of holiday fun. I told my mates to get lost and go into the next room which fair play to them they did.

They also took the ipod with them and as payback dangled the speakers over the wall and played the shittiest music at full volume the whole time.

Having sex to the 1960’s batman theme, airwolf theme, we are sailing, playing with the boys from Top Gun and loads of others made it really hard to concentrate on the job at hand. Not to mention what she thought about my taste in music, ha!

Everyone else got any funny/embarrassing tales to tell?

are you joking? the soundtracks you mentioned are top notch, although admittedly not good for having sex with a woman. Needs more pornographic music there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah they are good, thats why they were on the ipod. But defo not good for love making, lol!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

are you joking? the soundtracks you mentioned are top notch, although admittedly not good for having sex with a woman. Needs more pornographic music there.

Would anyone care to define "Pornographic music"?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would anyone care to define "Pornographic music"?

Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg - Je T'Aime...Moi Non Plus ... that must come pretty close

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would anyone care to define "Pornographic music"?

Any music you can play on a pornograph.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg - Je T'Aime...Moi Non Plus ... that must come pretty close

I brought this years ago,definately good for sex,trouble is its on a little 45rpm and i can't play it anymore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Porno music?

How about

It's from the (mostly very depressing) computer game, Heavy Rain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was once with this guy, he wasn't a client, this was in the old days when I was still trying to be a good girl. So, he was lying on his back, I was down the bottom of the bed with my head between his legs giving him a rather enthusiastic blowjob. ( Yeah, okay, not THAT good a girl ) Anyway, the point is, my arse was MILES away from him.

So, down there, bobbing up and down, and I suddenly did a little fart. I mean a teeny one, it wasn't some huge explosion or anything. I giggled, and looked up at him thinking he would be finding it as amusing as me, and the look on his face! Was obviously horrified. I said "Ooops!" or something along those lines, but honestly the moment was lost. I mean, I finished what I started, but I thought less of him for it. Made me feel all self conscious, whilst at the same time I was thinking, "Wow, imagine being that freaked out about THAT?" Be different if we had been doing a 69, lol. Sorry if that's too much of an image over the cornflakes guys. Anyway we weren't, and it was embarrassing (for him), funny (for me), and a mood killer (for him).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The bed breaking, not that unusual but still a major laugh or cry moment :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was once with this guy, he wasn't a client, this was in the old days when I was still trying to be a good girl. So, he was lying on his back, I was down the bottom of the bed with my head between his legs giving him a rather enthusiastic blowjob. ( Yeah, okay, not THAT good a girl ) Anyway, the point is, my arse was MILES away from him.

So, down there, bobbing up and down, and I suddenly did a little fart. I mean a teeny one, it wasn't some huge explosion or anything. I giggled, and looked up at him thinking he would be finding it as amusing as me, and the look on his face! Was obviously horrified. I said "Ooops!" or something along those lines, but honestly the moment was lost. I mean, I finished what I started, but I thought less of him for it. Made me feel all self conscious, whilst at the same time I was thinking, "Wow, imagine being that freaked out about THAT?" Be different if we had been doing a 69, lol. Sorry if that's too much of an image over the cornflakes guys. Anyway we weren't, and it was embarrassing (for him), funny (for me), and a mood killer (for him).

That’s hilarious :)

You should have told them that some men will pay good money for a farting experience, lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was having sex we were at her place going full steam ahead, when workman decided to start work outside, with contiuous thumps and a five second gap in between right outisde the window, it kind of put me off my rhythm as was always waiting for the next thump

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry if this sounds childish and there might be a better name for it but the first time i heard a fanny fart was a bit of a shocker. I dont want to sound as sensitive as Lovelysluts beau but it was incredibly loud, more thunderous than a parp. It kinda of killed the mood but only because i was concerned she might have followed through then it was just funny. Fart noises at any time usually raise a smile from me, i am part of the "Bottom" generation.

Bed breaking as someone else has mentioned...makes you think maybe that doughnut for lunch was a bridge too far.

If you're talking pornomusic surely somebody should have mentioned Barry White?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got caught out by my sister when she walked into the front room whilst me and an ex were doing it. Major mood killer. :o:lol: :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was once with this guy, he wasn't a client, this was in the old days when I was still trying to be a good girl. So, he was lying on his back, I was down the bottom of the bed with my head between his legs giving him a rather enthusiastic blowjob. ( Yeah, okay, not THAT good a girl ) Anyway, the point is, my arse was MILES away from him.

So, down there, bobbing up and down, and I suddenly did a little fart. I mean a teeny one, it wasn't some huge explosion or anything. I giggled, and looked up at him thinking he would be finding it as amusing as me, and the look on his face! Was obviously horrified. I said "Ooops!" or something along those lines, but honestly the moment was lost. I mean, I finished what I started, but I thought less of him for it. Made me feel all self conscious, whilst at the same time I was thinking, "Wow, imagine being that freaked out about THAT?" Be different if we had been doing a 69, lol. Sorry if that's too much of an image over the cornflakes guys. Anyway we weren't, and it was embarrassing (for him), funny (for me), and a mood killer (for him).

LS; I have a a recent semi regular (met him 5 times during last 6 months or so). He always makes this little farts. Not exactly loud, kind of Pffrtttt, ( bit like horse sneezing). Never any smell (not of one those silent and deadly). I've never took notice of it on previous meeting, but on the last meeting, when I felt we established some closeness between each other, I did mentioned it. I just told him, if he want to really Rip it, he might as well! Then he said: ok I am going to do it, I put the candle beside his bum. I thought he going to ignite it even more with CO2, but paradoxically the fire is disappeared. We still cant find explanation to it, lol

Ok, I did breached the subject in the light hearted manner, and we had a good laugh about it. I also fibbed to him about my farting, to make him feel more on the level with me. The truth is, I probabaly farted not much more then 6-7 times during the last 20 years, and even then it was when I was giving the birth. My partner always says to me: its just not normal, and you going to explode one day!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry if this sounds childish and there might be a better name for it but the first time i heard a fanny fart was a bit of a shocker. I dont want to sound as sensitive as Lovelysluts beau but it was incredibly loud, more thunderous than a parp. It kinda of killed the mood but only because i was concerned she might have followed through then it was just funny. Fart noises at any time usually raise a smile from me, i am part of the "Bottom" generation.

Bed breaking as someone else has mentioned...makes you think maybe that doughnut for lunch was a bridge too far.

If you're talking pornomusic surely somebody should have mentioned Barry White?

I don’t know what’s funnier, the sound of a fanny fart or the look of sheer horror & embarrassment on the face of the girl when it happens!

And I don’t know whether the fits of laughter I’m in helps or not :)

O & isn’t the technical term for a fanny fart a queef? Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol @ 'queef'. First heard that on an episode of South Park devoted to the subject.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had 2 with the same girl, one I used to see every time I went up to a certain Northern City on business.

I was lucky enough to always be put up in a 4 or 5 * hotel, and on her first visit I forgot to put the do not disturb sign on the door and the maid walked in to turn the bed down and put a chocolate on my pillow. You've never seen a girl disappear behind a bed so fast!

After a few visits I got the hang of how to push her buttons and when she got going she was LOUD, and used to give you the head squeeze as she was getting close. So there I was going down on her and she was shrieking and wailing and swearing blue murder. I got her to the finish line, came up for air and heard a persistent knocking at the door. Turns out the night manager had been rapping his knuckles for 5 minutes - he'd had 4 separate complaints about the noise!

Sadly I din't travel up that way any more, but I still look at her profile with a smile and a giggle...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would anyone care to define "Pornographic music"?

bolero by Ravel..

(movie: Ten)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will only ever own divan beds after wrecking a bed! the headboard came loose, looser, a little more looser, then the whole thing collapsed!!! This was pre-WG status I'll hasten to add!

As for fanny farts, I laugh them off but as already mentioned some guys just don't understand! Pump a pussy with air and what do you expect?

Bottom farts - If I have a really good strong orgasm then yes that comes out as well! Maybe I should start making more noise to cover up the noise...? LOL!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a situation that, at the time, wasn't funny at all but looking back now I see it was funny.

A few years ago on a business trip to the US I was stuck in a boring city in a boring hotel with lots of free time. I started to browse the net to see if I could find a local lady who could come to my hotel for an hour of fun. I kept seeing ads saying 'Greek available' but had no clue what it meant so I did a bit of research and found out it was a euphemism for anal. Anal was something I had rarely tried back then so this then got me in the mood for some anal fun and I started to look specifically for a lady who offered it. I found one lady who, from the photos, looked very hot so contacted her via email and arranged for her to come over.

The agreed meeting time comes and goes and there's no sign of her, no call, text or anything. After about 30 mins I call to see if she's coming or not and she makes a few excuses and says she'll be there in another 30 minutes. Again, that time comes and goes. At this point I give up and text her to say not to bother coming. I got a call back and she says she's had things to do but will definitely be there in 40 minutes. Being that I'm bored out of my skull, I agree. The 40 minutes come and go. Then I get a text to say she's 10 minutes away, she got lost. I say OK. 10 minutes come and go. I get another text to say she had to make a stop, she'll be 15 minutes. I have nothing better to do, the hotel is drab and dull, the city is drab and dull, I now wanna fuck, so I say OK.

Finally, there's a knock on my door, she's arrived at my hotel room. I open the door to see the lady in the photos but she's a good 10 - 15 years older than the photos suggest (looking back now I guess the dated decor in the background should have been a clue). She's put on weight and the tight curvy bits that look so very lovely in the photos have gone very south. She is also dazed, blurry eyed, and clearly on something. She comes in a sits on the bed and starts to remove her boots, and begins to explain why she's so late. However, whatever she's on makes her incoherent, she's slurring her words and I can't understand her, and I'm also in shock at the state she's in and that I invited some druggy to my hotel. All my dirty fantasies about what was to be were ruined. She then starts to talk about some guy she saw earlier whose eyes she nearly scratched out over an under payment, I remember her saying 'I may be small but I don't give a fuck, no ones going to fool me'. Great, a psycho, Oh God, please get her to leave. But, she's taking her clothes off. And I've been wanting anal sex A LOT for the past 2 hours, ever since the booking was made, I've got myself in a sexual tizzy over the thought of it. One half of me is thinking 'Get her out, she's on drugs', the other is saying 'Go on, fuck her ass then get her out'. I actually want her to leave but, and this is the honest truth, I was in a city I'd never been to before, it's the US and we all know guns are freely available in the US, I was in a hotel with other guests, she's already started to talk about fighting people and I kept imagining that if I told her to leave, in the state she's in, after all the text messages and calls about if she is and isn't coming over and when, if she's already had fights, if I even attempt to ask her to leave she will throw one major hissy fit, she'll scream the walls down, the other guest at the hotel will know what I've been up to, there'll be drama, embarrassment, Christ she might even pull a gun! Just let her stay, get it over with, get her out.

I make an excuse about needing to be somewhere else so we don't have much time now she's late so let's get it over with (yeah, sexy I know). So she grabs a condom and gives it to me but the problem is I'm really struggling to get hard, any sexual desires have long since gone, and I just can't get hard. So I ask her to wank me off a little, but the thought of her hands on my pecker just make things worse, I've honestly never felt so ashamed of myself and the situation. I tell her I just want greek fun so get some lube out. She's so out of it though she passes me a pack of cigarettes, she's just not focused at all. I have to ask her again for lube and finally she just chucks her bag at me. I find the lube, put the condom on my 1/3rd hard dick, lube her and me up and try to attempt anal. I'm so disinterested, I'm so ashamed, she's disinterested, so after about 3 thrusts I fake an orgasm - me, the man, fakes cumming - so I can just claim I'm satisfied and get her out. I don't think she gives a shit because she's up and out that door in a flash and I spent the rest of the night in the faetal position disgusted and ashamed.

That was an embarrassing, funny, mood killing situation all in one. Put me off punting for a very long time too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Peterbry, that is an AWESOME story. It's got everything....sex, drugs, a strange city, the potential for violence, lust, fear, longing, regret, remorse. I'm typing it up and sending a pitch to Quentin Tarantino. Will cut you in when he uses it sweetie, okay?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My old business partner was seeing a lady who had a couple of small kids, he came in one morning and said your not going to believe what happened to me last night... He starts by saying the kids were upstairs in bed and we both started kissing, one thing led to another and we were soon on her living room floor having sex, when all of a sudden this squeaking noise starts up and gets quicker (i was expecting x walked in etc) he then said he looked beside him and a hamster in a ball was trundling past.

To bizarre to make up and he was a rather honest type of chap...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now