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Reasons To Go Punting- Gardian Article

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes

Interesting read, some remarkable quotes:

-Research published in 2005 found that the numbers of men who pay for sex had doubled in a decade.

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-I interviewed 12 of the men, and found it a fascinating experience. One told me about his experience of childhood cruelty and neglect and linked this to his inability to form close ­relationships with anyone, particularly women. Alex admitted sex with ­prostitutes made him feel empty, but he had no idea how to get to know women "through the usual routes". When I asked him about his feelings ­towards the women he buys he said that on the one hand, he wants ­prostitutes to get to know and like him and, on the other, he is "not under ­delusions" that the encounters are anything like a real relationship.

"I want my ideal prostitute not to behave like one," he said, "to role-play to be a pretend girlfriend, a casual date, not business-like or mechanical. To a third person it looks like we're in love."

I felt compassion for Alex. No one had shown him how to form a bond with another human being and he was searching for something that commercial sex was never going to provide.

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Darren was young, good-looking and bright; I asked him how often he thought the women he paid enjoyed the sex. "I don't want them to get any pleasure," he told me. "I am paying for it and it is her job to give me pleasure. If she enjoys it I would feel cheated." I asked if he felt prostitutes were different to other women. "The fact that they're prepared to do that job where others won't, even when they're skint, means there's some capability inside them that permits them to do it and not be disgusted," he said. He seemed full of a festering, potentially explosive misogyny.

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One of the most interesting findings was that many believed men would "need" to rape if they could not pay for sex on demand. One told me, "Sometimes you might rape someone: you can go to a prostitute instead." Another put it like this: "A desperate man who wants sex so bad, he needs sex to be relieved. He might rape." I concluded from this that it's not feminists such as Andrea Dworkin and myself who are responsible for the idea that all men are potential rapists – it's sometimes men themselves. (I don't understand this at all, why in god's name would you rape a girl?! Or even have the idea in mind?

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Almost half said that they first paid for sex when they were below the age of 21. "Dad took me and my older brother," said David. "He paid. Maybe he wanted to make sure we weren't gay. We went to a brothel. Dad didn't do it, and I don't think he told my mum."

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"Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with."

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Although some of the men said they thought the women they bought ­enjoyed the sex, many others admitted that they thought the women would be feeling "disgusted", "miserable", "dirty" and "scared". Ahmed said he thought the woman might feel "relief that I'm not going to kill her".

Did some of these quotes surprise you?

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No surprise at all for me.

Where are all the guys who say good stuff about paying women for sex?

Of course they will not bother to print what the chaps say if it is positive comments.

I would say it is a load of tosh.....

Lucy :)

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"the women he buys"

Last time I checked, it was more a rental than a sale.

Edited by Curious Rose

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Lol, well said Rose. I'm not for sale, but very short term rental arrangements are available......

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Did some of these quotes surprise you?

No. I just assume she got her interviewees from UKP.

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"The fact that they're prepared to do that job where others won't, even when they're skint, means there's some capability inside them that permits them to do it and not be disgusted,"

I am inclined to agree with that statement, but not in a derogatory sense. I view it in much the same way as how certain people can work in, say, the fire service and not be affected by the sights they are faced with at a bad road accident.

Edited by SpoksEyebrows

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Did some of these quotes surprise you?

No.Look who wrote the article. Julie Bindels views on men are displayed regularly in the Guardian.

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