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Ed And Punting - Advise & Etiquette

6 posts in this topic

HI,

There are thousands of men out there who suffer from Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and who cannot get an erection. Although some can be helped by drugs, such as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis, there are many who aren't that lucky. Some may also have other types of disability, physical and or mental that prevent them having an erection. I have seen figures that give the number of men who suffer from non medically treatable ED to between 5% to 15% of the male population.

Should these men, who may still have sexual urges be denied the physical connection with a women because of the lack of their ability to have penetrative sexual intercourse or providing a hard penis for fellatio. These guys also need a good kiss and cuddle and sexual release.

These men can (or can be taught) how to give a woman good oral sex including giving good vaginal/clitoral finger stimulation that could lead to the woman having some great orgasms. The woman could good give the man a good blowjob that should lead to ejaculation. This would resolve the issue for most of these men. However as penetrative sex is something that is almost a must for woman (even if they have great orgasms from oral or finger stimulation) they may not want to be with men with this limitation.

I feel that there are many woman out there who would be prepared to have intimate times with these men who have ED and cannot get an erection. As I am one of these unfortunate men I would like to hear from some of the woman members, especially the WGs out there or ED men who have had success with woman without needing the erection.

The following are some of the questions I have. I am sure that there are other issues that arise and I hope will be brought up by others. I hope that this topic may assist these men to get some kiss, cuddle and sex and will list some etiquette tips when approaching a wg or other woman and give some suggestions for making the women happy as well as satisfied.

1. Should a man who wants to make an appointment with a wg tell her of his ED problem? What detail should be given in the initial contact?

2. If a bloke is hitting it off with a women and knows/thinks that the woman would be willing to have sex with him - should he tell her of the situation or hope for the best in the bedroom. (Possibly getting his cunnilingus and fingering done before revealing that he can't get an erection)

3. Would the use of a dildo by the man for vaginal penetration be a possible solution for the woman's need for penetration. The man would control the 'action' of the dildo using body or verbal signals from the woman as to the speed, depth, force etc of the dildo. I think that the couple could even try different positions.

4. Do you think that a strap on dildo may be a better alternative or an additional aid. (The issue here may be that if the man provides the dildo it may not be to woman's liking or may not be a good size).

5. Would a disability such as a heliocele (a 'hernia' or hole between the stomach and the scrotum, that causes the bag around one of the balls to be swollen) be an additional set back. This condition is not infectious and in most cases can be resolved by an operation. However the operation is not advisable or possible in all cases,

Lets get rolling. I am particularly interested in hearing from wgs as I would like to go this route to get some experience and confidence before going with 'girlfriends'

Everybody deserves to have their sexual drive satisfied, even with a physical disability.

Keep cumming,

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I would guess that the best course would be to contact a good parlour, to be open about this with the receptionist, and to be matched with someone who would be sympathetic and also up for the challenge.

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I see a lovely gentleman at least twice a month for a dinner date and some wonderful intimtate time who has ED due to the medicine he is on. We have no problem at all satisfying each other, he was honest with me from the first appointment and we work around it. On the other hand I dated a gent who had ED a few years ago but it wasn't the same at all, he wasn't open about it and left me feeling like I had a problem, he made very little effort to please me and wasn't willing to discuss it. If the two gents had appeared in my life the other way around things would have been very different!

Should these men, who may still have sexual urges be denied the physical connection with a women because of the lack of their ability to have penetrative sexual intercourse or providing a hard penis for fellatio? No! Why should they?

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Hmmm

ED can be caused by underlying medical problems. Stress, cardio-vascular problems and low testosterone can cause this. Dont just live with it, visit your GP and get checked out. Not only may he fix the ED he may also find something serious that needs fixing and save your life!

And testosterone is available on the NHS...

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I have no problem with seeing men with ED. I have far less penetrative sex than I thought I would, as an escort. Trust me, I cope!

My clients with ED & I do what feels right, as I do with my clients without ED.

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@DianaMurphy and @Lara: Thanks for your responses.

As I have not found this issue discussed elsewhere (including TLC) I would appreciate some further input regarding any 'special things' that you do or have done to you that can make the experience more pleasing for both parties.

I have been given to understand that many (subjective observation) do not let the man penetrate with his fingers. I can understand this if the man has long or dirty fingernails. However I fail to see what the objection is about if the man's nails are well trimmed back and clean. From pre-ED encounters many of partners enjoyed the pussy fingering more than the penetration - the consensus being that the fingers were more versatile and hit and kept stimulating the right spots better than a cock. I also found that I could get almost all of the girls to squirt using my fingers, but not with a cock unless the penetration followed almost immediately on finger squirt or two.

Any takes on using a dildo for woman who 'need' penetration as part of the sex session.

Lara do you agree that the punter should be upfront about his ED - i.e. give the WG a chance to say no if she is real into being fucked? Also any suggestions for handling the issue with a non-wg?

@Coventrypunter - Your point is well taken. Any guy not going for a proper check up if he experiences ED is endangering his general health. However not all cases of ED can be helped by medication. It is for these cases that I am trying to find 'politically (sexually/relationship) correct' way of dealing with the issue. We know that with woman 80+% of the sexual pleasure is generated by the mind and only a the rest by the stimulation. If you do not warm (most) woman up properly with foreplay (including pre-cuddling foreplay) her and your experience is not going to be great. This is why I am trying to find the keys that will minimise the woman's need for penetration. These 'keys' could then be using in the 'courting' (pick-up stage) and the actual foreplay stage of the sex session to let her enjoy the non penis penetration orgasms that the ED partner can help bring about.

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