Jonnybgood

Intimidation.

59 posts in this topic

Yesterday I got a PM asking for some advice. The thing is he could quite easily have posted on here and recieved advice from a lot more people. Why didnt he ?, because he has only made one post, asking for advice, he hasnt made any posts since. He was shouted down by a lot of people, mostly saying, why have you brought that up, that question has been answered loads of times, are you stupid why didnt you do a search. I hope you O so superior souls are proud.

Starting to punt is a very big thing for lots of people, very nerve wracking. For me posting on here for the first time was a similar experience but once you start, for me, it can be very satisfying, because, again for me, its the only place you can talk about your hobby and ask for advice.

Please, think before you slag the next new starter off, just give him or her some slack. Pun intended.

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Yesterday I got a PM asking for some advice. The thing is he could quite easily have posted on here and recieved advice from a lot more people. Why didnt he ?, because he has only made one post, asking for advice, he hasnt made any posts since. He was shouted down by a lot of people, mostly saying, why have you brought that up, that question has been answered loads of times, are you stupid why didnt you do a search. I hope you O so superior souls are proud. Starting to punt is a very big thing for lots of people, very nerve wracking. For me posting on here for the first time was a similar experience but once you start, for me, it can be very satisfying, because, again for me, its the only place you can talk about your hobby and ask for advice. Please, think before you slag the next new starter off, just give him or her some slack. Pun intended.

Excellent post. I did a similar recent thread about patience with new posters and had received a PM from a punter in the same fashion. It certainly can be intimidating posting on here and i hope we all want to encourage and help new posters. :)

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I think there's a way of saying to someone new 'hey dude, you might like to read a few of the comments on this thread (insert link), but best of luck and get back to us if you need to' rather than 'oh for christ's sake, go look for some threads for yourself, there's been loads of stuff on this, do your research before speaking'.

I have found some on here to be rather impatient and assuming to say the least...tell the newbie to ignore the ignorant assholes who were rude.

Bastard

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I think there's a way of saying to someone new 'hey dude, you might like to read a few of the comments on this thread (insert link), but best of luck and get back to us if you need to' rather than 'oh for christ's sake, go look for some threads for yourself, there's been loads of stuff on this, do your research before speaking'.

I have found some on here to be rather impatient and assuming to say the least...tell the newbie to ignore the ignorant assholes who were rude.

Bastard

There is never a need to be rude or to shout, we were all newbies once. :)

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Excellent post. I did a similar recent thread about patience with new posters and had received a PM from a punter in the same fashion. It certainly can be intimidating posting on here and i hope we all want to encourage and help new posters. :)

I agree fully with this and do indeed remember you posting your own thread on this very subject. :) Mind you pm'img someone for advice isnt the ' be all and end all' either, as I have found out unfortunately myself recently. :mellow:

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It's not just 'newbies' that find themselves on the receiving end of people who have a rather inflated sense of self-importance on these forums, as I have discovered today...

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Not sure who you mean Jonny, it does not matter though.

I had a PM off a new bloke too yesterday, he had done 3 posts then.

The thing is with any forum is that you have to suss it out in one way before you start posting really.

I joined this one about 32 months ago and ran away scared pretty darn quick.

Some bloke seemed to take a pop at me every time I typed a post.

I was not sex site forum savvy then.

There is an etiquette I feel to posting on forums though in one way, stuff that is not written in rules.

I have decided never to take offence at anything typed back at me in a smart alec way, and I hope no one takes offence at me either.

Tell the bloke to just get stuck in and ignore the posts and posters that he does not like, I do it daily ;)

Lucy :)

Edited by Lucy7

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I find that checking what you've just typed is something you'd be prepared to say to someone's face before you click the Post button is a good rule of thumb :)

On the internet in general, the combination of no personal contact with the audience and a user name, giving anonymity, does seem to turn some ordinarily very nice people into rather rude and inconsiderate posters.

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Sadly its nothing new but hopefully has got better with time.... I personally think we are lot more friendly to a newbie than we used to be.

I got pretty much ripped to shreds for my first few weeks of becoming a poster.

Made the mistake of calling WG a courtesan, tons of jibs and bull PMs.

Having trouble find a girl in MK who provided DFK, tons of jibs and bull PMs...

Youd be surpised who some of these posters turned out to be .... some of them still post of here. (I still have those PMs BTW....)

The whole point of a forum is freedom of information... even more when its a "grey" area that is punting...

If someones being a twat then show them up as a twat. Its a problem they have not a newbies.......

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There's a good example of how to respond to a newbie requesting info that has been covered on multiple threads, on the RFI board query about Charly of Nottingham, where a poster called Cooltiger has collected the relevant threads and posted links to them.

It's tricky because it is a bit irritating to see a post by a newbie along the lines of "This area is crap for punting, why is it so rubbish, anyone seen any girls that are decent..." etc when (a) there are several posts on the area that he obviously hasn't even bothered to look at and (B) it's an area you know well and you know there are plenty of great girls to see. But I agree 100% with the OP that flaming the newbie is wrong, much better to respond positively and encourage them to contribute info of their own, so we all win.

Personally I was flamed by an established poster soon after I started posting on here. It was nice that a couple of other posters came to my defence, and I pointed out that he had simply not read my original post properly. Although it was a little disconcerting to find out he was one of the moderators...

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There's a certain etiquette involved in using any forum - and it's a good idea to lurk (if possible) before joining any, to find out what is acceptable. New posters can find it an intimidating process (I do!), and I think that perhaps this forum could be more intimidating than most simply because of the intensely personal things that are often being discussed. A bit of research on the part of the poster, and some tolerance from the long term members can make a big difference.

We won't all agree all of the time - that's part of what I find interesting about an internet forum, as you get to find out how many different people think, and come across a much wider range of opinions and people than you'd ever have the chance in a conversation in real life.

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i fully agree with this thread.

Whilst i agree that there are certain ettiquettes to posting here, the newbie wont actually know those ettiquettes yet. So its a cach 22.

Mistakes that seem cringeworthy like asking for discounts, asking for info that is widely available, coming accross the wrong way etc, seem obvious but to someone totally new to punting it might not be. So a bit of patience, good manners, explaining things and not assuming anything is obvious is a good attitude.

Also coming to a newbies defence when s/he's attacked will go a long way. Also, not having suspicions of people being undercover trolls, sock puppets, people from "the sisterhood" (i still dont fully know what all thats about) etc is good, unless they are clearly aggressive and dont listen to advice, in which case thats a different kettle of fish.

Noone wants to be blasted and im sure the newbies will become active contributors in no time

im glad many of u have noticed this, it can only be a good things and shud make pnet more welcoming and stronger community

lets try to act upon this and not just notice it and then go back to before. Especially defending newbies, i think this is really important and also taking time to explain things nicely and properly

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Any lurkers are welcome, i try and help if i can.

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dont forget that even if u go back in time and step on a butterfly, the whole future can change (the butterfly effect).

Imo, there is a case of the butterfly effect here. If newbies are welcomed and become part of the community, the power and influence of the community increases in many ways.

1 more people who will be educated on isses surrounding prostitution and can dispel myths and support the legalisation of brothels, which in turn wud allow a better organised industry. Every newbie can potentially be convincing others that prostitution shud be legalised so ur effectively contributing to the legalisation of prostitution as ud see a snowball effect as more newbies are welcomed and join in

2 more pressure on parlours. I said before, lets boycott parlours who do bait n swtich, and other irritating issues that parlours and sites are guilty of. The response is that a boycott is not realistic due to the pnet community being small compared to the punting comminity. So the more numbers we have, the more influence we have in warning against bad establishments and supporting those who tirelessly get new pics up of new wgs and really make the effort to ensure WE have a good experience, such as mke. Bear in mind, most newbies are nervous and will be reassured by us, and will go where we suggest, so its great that we can direct newbis ti the establishments who deserve business ans away from those who dont deserve business. There is one parlour in sheffield with loads of thais on the site and inside its full of ee's, this makes me so angry. It will also ensure better safety for punters.

Remember this is a snowball effect so as it grows, its growth increases and more people come, bring others, attend the better establishments, scammers make less money so are discouraged from this and encouraged to engage the punting community and make imrpovements to their services.

This site is an asset to us all so lets build on it

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dont forget that even if u go back in time and step on a butterfly, the whole future can change (the butterfly effect). Imo, there is a case of the butterfly effect here. If newbies are welcomed and become part of the community, the power and influence of the community increases in many ways. 1 more people who will be educated on isses surrounding prostitution and can dispel myths and support the legalisation of brothels, which in turn wud allow a better organised industry. Every newbie can potentially be convincing others that prostitution shud be legalised so ur effectively contributing to the legalisation of prostitution as ud see a snowball effect as more newbies are welcomed and join in 2 more pressure on parlours. I said before, lets boycott parlours who do bait n swtich, and other irritating issues that parlours and sites are guilty of. The response is that a boycott is not realistic due to the pnet community being small compared to the punting comminity. So the more numbers we have, the more influence we have in warning against bad establishments and supporting those who tirelessly get new pics up of new wgs and really make the effort to ensure WE have a good experience, such as mke. Bear in mind, most newbies are nervous and will be reassured by us, and will go where we suggest, so its great that we can direct newbis ti the establishments who deserve business ans away from those who dont deserve business. There is one parlour in sheffield with loads of thais on the site and inside its full of ee's, this makes me so angry. It will also ensure better safety for punters. Remember this is a snowball effect so as it grows, its growth increases and more people come, bring others, attend the better establishments, scammers make less money so are discouraged from this and encouraged to engage the punting community and make imrpovements to their services. This site is an asset to us all so lets build on it

I know many punters and meet many others at parties, most have no interest in telling others they punt, its a secret pastime that they keep to themselves so i very much doubt there is much spreading the word going on.

Its good to be an idealist, age and experience has made me a realist, nothing will change in punting until and unless the feminazis who much of the media are shit scared of are taken on and their stereotyping challenged enmasse in my view. Many more Dr Magnantis are required in my opinion.

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To be honest you really, if we are honest here, have to take into consideration exactly how the request for information was worded. Some newbies come on here and are polite and i am happy to put my 2p worth of advice in for what its worth. I have seen though newbies coming on here and assuming that they can be very rude about the escorts, why on earth would I be nice to someone like that just because they are new.

I agree though there can be an element of "yawwn just read the old threads" sometimes and yes it can be scary when you first post on here, I remember.

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but chloe, what if they didnt mean to be rude or didnt realise it? Wudnt the newbie at least deserve some advice first so s/he has the opportunity to apologise and learn from mistakes? I think its good to have a forgiving attitude towards people. We've all made mistakes and none of us are perfect

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but chloe, what if they didnt mean to be rude or didnt realise it? Wudnt the newbie at least deserve some advice first so s/he has the opportunity to apologise and learn from mistakes? I think its good to have a forgiving attitude towards people. We've all made mistakes and none of us are perfect

I mean the ones who displayed an obvious attitude that wgs are low and should do anything a guy wants because he is paying, sorry, I should be polite to someone who is extremely disrespectful to escorts just because he is new when he wasnt disrespectful about the punters? That doesnt wash.

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I mean the ones who displayed an obvious attitude that wgs are low and should do anything a guy wants because he is paying, sorry, I should be polite to someone who is extremely disrespectful to escorts just because he is new when he wasnt disrespectful about the punters? That doesnt wash.

it depends on the context. If he's clearly being rude and there is no excuse you can make for him then no u dont need to be patient with that, if he talks about wgs like they are lower then dirt. Im more talking about if he accidentally put his foot in it and it came out wrong. Mouthy chavs who come in to your establishment f ing and blinding and ordering wgs about using derogatory and vulgar terms then this is an obvious line thats been crossed and its not just a slip of the tongue. Im sure u understand what i mean about sometimes we simply put out foot in it by accident and other times people are plain outright rude

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if someone is being rude intentionally then its likely that even after u advise them they will still continue anyway so at least we cant say we didnt warn them after that and everyone will give him a hard time and he'll soon leave the forum. If its in real life, u shud just ban him from the premises. Noone wants riff raff like that in the parlours anyway

Edited by jon izanbiyeva

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back t original topic, if a newbie is asking a question on a subject, why not post showing him there is the search facility (its top right) and that doing some searching may get the info quicker. Even post a link to threads helps.

they are NEWBIES, ffs, we should be nice to them, not all high and mighty.

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at work i have had people who write stroppy emails but in person they are nice as pie.

with blogs and emails we dont see the posters face so his expression, which may change the nuance of what he is saying, is lost.

and some people write stroppy prose unintentionally.

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Excellent post. I did a similar recent thread about patience with new posters and had received a PM from a punter in the same fashion. It certainly can be intimidating posting on here and i hope we all want to encourage and help new posters. :)

Tsk it was not that long ago when you told a newbie:

"At least get the basics right before posting such utter shit on a punting forum. Off street punting with a WG doing it freely and without coercion is perfectly legal, at present."

My other half thought what I was doing was illegal 6 years into me doing this with him lol..............the media gets it wrong all the time, easy mistake for others to make also. ;)

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The problem is when you find a place like this for the first time, you may well have a lot of pent up emotions, things you are desperate to ask, to understand and it's a whole new world of discovery. So where logic says to sit back, read the boards, read the rules and break yourself in gently the reality is that you can't wait to get posting and get asking.

I personally went for the 'bull in a china shop' method myself and boy did I get blown down a peg or two, but... there were some lovely people who picked me up, sat me down and showed me the error of my ways. Some times it takes time to adjust and I don't just mean for the newbie, as the reg has to adjust to the new energy that has just entered the building too and may not automatically trust it. Perhaps there is an element of 'wait and see' that needs to be adopted by both sides before going in for the kill?

Edited by kissxkate

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it depends on the context. If he's clearly being rude and there is no excuse you can make for him then no u dont need to be patient with that, if he talks about wgs like they are lower then dirt. Im more talking about if he accidentally put his foot in it and it came out wrong. Mouthy chavs who come in to your establishment f ing and blinding and ordering wgs about using derogatory and vulgar terms then this is an obvious line thats been crossed and its not just a slip of the tongue. Im sure u understand what i mean about sometimes we simply put out foot in it by accident and other times people are plain outright rude

I was talking about the plain outright rude.

if someone is being rude intentionally then its likely that even after u advise them they will still continue anyway so at least we cant say we didnt warn them after that and everyone will give him a hard time and he'll soon leave the forum. If its in real life, u shud just ban him from the premises. Noone wants riff raff like that in the parlours anyway

We are not talking about my parlour and in fact I was referring to that which the OP had originally started this thread about..ie newbies not being treated too gently on here sometimes.xx

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