Student S

One For The Ladies-has This Affected How You View Men In Civvie Life?

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Hallo!

There are a few threads on here saying that perhaps punting makes men think of women differently in "normal" life.

Does this make you view men differently?

It certainly does for me, only in the sense that I know that a lot of men lie to their wives etc and if I have a relationship, would that be the same to me? Most women think "my husband wouldnt do that." But then we have seen a lot that do...

I don't know whether that's a bonus or not, to know the "truth."

Also, a arge percentage of men who punt are men you would never think of in reality doing it so I do wonder if the bank manager is at it.

BUT a caveat - I have met some wonderful people I would never have met otherwise so in a way I am pleased.

I have learnt a lot of myself and life through conversations I have had (just chit chat) but otherwise wouldn't have been on offer to me.

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My brother is a total player. I think I meet more shy, sensitive men who could be monogamous, or who would at least feel guilty if they weren't at work.

Or maybe, I just ignore the guys who would forego the sun & the moon & the stars for me, because they seem boring.

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It's made me realise just how important sex is to men, and the lengths they will go to for it. It's also made me quite sure that, on average, women and men do not have the same kind of sex drive. I would love to believe that women and men need sex equally, but a glimpse into the sex industry really hammers home that it's just not true.

I have been surprised by the genuine sexual generosity of men (talking to a civvie friend last night who knows I'm a WG: she couldn't believe that 95% of the men who are paying to have sex with me really want to spend time eating me out, stimulating me, making me orgasm. She seemed to think that men only do so out of a sense of duty. I happily set her straight!)

I feel much more confident now with the civvie men that I sleep with than I did before. I don't know if that's to do with feeling differently about them (feeling I have a good grasp on male sexuality and that it's not something to be wary of) or about myself (confidence and technique!). ;)

Edited by Curious Rose

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I don't look at guys now and think they are out of my league. I'm more confident in my sexuality and sense of my own desirability. I had a pretty good grasp (pardon the pun) on male sexuality anyway, having always had lots of very good male friends who told me secrets and talked to me about their relationships.

But this has refined that even further. It appears to have increased my sex drive, which was bloody bad enough anyway!

I have been surprised by the genuine sexual generosity of men (talking to a civvie friend last night who knows I'm a WG: she couldn't believe that 95% of the men who are paying to have sex with me really want to spend time eating me out, stimulating me, making me orgasm.

Yes Rose, me too. Sweethearts. I struggle not to feel a bit guilty, it sort of feels like it should be all about them, but a lot of guys seem to get off on making you feel good so genuinely. And I can understand that in a way, because it's one of the things I get off on, knowing you are making someone feel good.

Just surprised to find it so common in clients.

I've known a lot of friends who have punted, usually Amsterdam, Germany whilst in the forces, Thailand. And these are nice, good looking guys, so I never had the stereotype in my head that most guys wouldn't. I've always gone along with the idea that given the right timing and circumstances, most guys WOULD. And I dont think badly of them for that. So it hasn't really changed how I see men, but it has changed some of my own perceptions about myself.

So, if there is any difference in how I see men, it's with a clearer idea of my own desirability to them.

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It certainly does for me, only in the sense that I know that a lot of men lie to their wives etc and if I have a relationship, would that be the same to me? Most women think "my husband wouldnt do that." But then we have seen a lot that do...

I don't know whether that's a bonus or not, to know the "truth."

Also, a arge percentage of men who punt are men you would never think of in reality doing it so I do wonder if the bank manager is at it.

Whilst a few men are married and betraying their wives, a recent thread clearly showed that many of us are looking forlornly for Ms Right and would cease visiting escorts if we could meet anyone decent and trustworthy with realistic and sensible aspirations for a decent life, rather than the image-obsessive WAG lifestyle.

I have been surprised by the genuine sexual generosity of men (talking to a civvie friend last night who knows I'm a WG: she couldn't believe that 95% of the men who are paying to have sex with me really want to spend time eating me out, stimulating me, making me orgasm. She seemed to think that men only do so out of a sense of duty. I happily set her straight!)

You really find it surprising that most men want to treat a lady well, spoil her, make her feel special and then express affection for her during intimacy? Perhaps of women weren't obsessed with image, looks and the lifestyles that only wealth can provide then they'd meet in civilian life more of the men you appear to be meeting professionally.

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You really find it surprising that most men want to treat a lady well, spoil her, make her feel special and then express affection for her during intimacy? Perhaps of women weren't obsessed with image, looks and the lifestyles that only wealth can provide then they'd meet in civilian life more of the men you appear to be meeting professionally.

No, we were expressing a bit of surprise that paying clients are so sweet and generous to us. You sound so bitter, and quite mysoginistic. I am sure you have your reasons, and I do know some women can be like that, but it bothers me when people talk about women as if we are all cloned from some mother hive, in the same way it bothers me when women pull the 'all men are bastards' thing.

I'm not obsessed with image, looks and money. You may not believe that, but (and I don't mean to be rude or offend you), you need to be careful that you are not painting yourself into a corner with that approach. That it doesn't become a self fulfilling prophecy that we are all image obsessed gold diggers.

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No, we were expressing a bit of surprise that paying clients are so sweet and generous to us. You sound so bitter, and quite mysoginistic. I am sure you have your reasons, and I do know some women can be like that, but it bothers me when people talk about women as if we are all cloned from some mother hive, in the same way it bothers me when women pull the 'all men are bastards' thing.

I'm not obsessed with image, looks and money. You may not believe that, but (and I don't mean to be rude or offend you), you need to be careful that you are not painting yourself into a corner with that approach. That it doesn't become a self fulfilling prophecy that we are all image obsessed gold diggers.

I have many female friends and love female company, and wouldn't dream of visiting escorts if there was a trustworthy, intelligent, generous and loving woman in my life. I confess I am a little bitter, but not for the reason(s) you may speculate. I want a family, adore children, I know I'd make a first class father and husband. If women wanyed hard-working, generous, honest, faithful, caring and loving men with a quirky sense of humour, I'd not be worrying about looking forward to a life on my own sharing all I have to offer with no-one.

Society says it's ok for a woman to start a family without a 'useless man'. Even gay couples now find starting families fashionable and adoption agencies bend over backwards to meet 'diversity targets'. However, me, working all hours god sends, how would I qualify? And lets not forget, as I'm a white, English, heterosexual male, I'm obviously a potential paedophile because I want children.

Edited by Mr Bastard

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I have many female friends and love female company, and wouldn't dream of visiting escorts if there was a trustworthy, intelligent, generous and loving woman in my life. I confess I am a little bitter, but not for the reason(s) you may speculate. I want a family, adore children, I know I'd make a first class father and husband. If women wanyed hard-working, generous, honest, faithful, caring and loving men with a quirky sense of humour, I'd not be worrying about looking forward to a life on my own sharing all I have to offer with no-one.

Society says it's ok for a woman to start a family without a 'useless man'. Even gay couples now find starting families fashionable and adoption agencies bend over backwards to meet 'diversity targets'. However, me, working all hours god sends, how would I qualify? And lets not forget, as I'm a white, English, heterosexual male, I'm obviously a potential paedophile because I want children.

Well. Lots of points to pick up on there. I do think men are penalised and discriminated against in many ways. I know that isn't a fashionable point of view, but yes, they are. Especially in situations regarding children as you mention.

Now, I'll share my own experience with you. I spent most of my life being in 'the friend zone' with men. Always the friend, never the girlfriend. I listened to them talk about the problems they had with gf's, how difficult their women were, how many hoops they had to jump through to make it work.

I was a bright, quirky, clever girl with a heart of gold. Some of them would even say to me 'Oh you are different, wish other women were like you.' Lol, without a trace of irony. I used to see them getting treated like shit by women, and I used to wonder what, exactly was wrong with me.

But I took it on the chin, had just about enough self confidence not to let it really get me down, and lo and behold, now I am a bit older I get lots of attention.

In CBT, they describe something called 'catastrophic predicting'. When several bad things happen to you, you begin to expect more bad things. Unfortunately that can close you off to potentially good things that may come along.

You never know what is round the corner. Keep an open mind.

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You never know what is round the corner. Keep an open mind.

I appreciate the sentiment. From what you say, we sound alike in some respects.

I'm glad someone with a genuine good nature is enjoying life.

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For goodness sake, Ms Lovelyslut, you're normally so wise, dont give Mr Bastard any sympathy and encourage him I've never heard so much mysoginistic, sexist, and now racist and homophobic claptrap. The sole reason for political correctness and positive discrimination is to correct chronic imbalances and give (almost) equal opportunities and rights to everyone. It may irritate many and seem heavyhanded at first but thats how we've seen such great progress in equal rights for women, gays and ethnic minorities. I'm sure it's a price worth paying. Remember, its still a lot easier to get by, get a job and earn good money if you're a white male

One minute he says every woman is a wannabe made up wag, pissed up at Wetherspoons, demanding a man on £100k+ and the next he's got lots of caring women friends and understanding WGs, Then he's off to parties/threesomes, full of self loathing for his punting habits but is sure he'll be a loving husband and a great father! Life's just not that simple, it rarely turns out the way you want or expect. Its a series of compromises

Punting is an enjoyable pastime. We all do it for a variety of reasons - some blokes are shits and lie, some have understandable reasons, some just enjoy it gulit free (me and Smiths). Some women have been crushed wives, some have been neglectful and thoughtless themselves or had other things on their mind. But all men and all women are'nt the same which always seems to be Mr Bastard's initial premise

Not sure where that came from or where its going...but I've said it

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Thanks for all the insights....you articulate in a better way what I think.

Yes, I agree that men do want to "give" more than receive (or both at the same time!) which is something I have learnt. In fact, probably more than in normal casual meet ups (although I don't do that anymore!!)

Mr Bastard...I don't think I can listen to many more of your posts, and this is why I get annoyed with this forum....I do understand that everyone has their point of view, but when it is so blatantly wrong and ridiculous then I really do think you are what they say "trolling." If not, then I pity you (as I presume you must pity women like me).

You seem to really hate punting and the ladies you see.

WE ARE NOT ALL IMAGE OBSESSED MONEY GRABBING WHORES (well maybe the whore bit for me).....

I quite frankly am quite gutted that I haven't met some of the men I have seen professionally in a normal context. For reasons discussed a thousand times, I don't think it wise to start a relationship with someone I have done that with as the scene is already set.

And I disagree that men see escorts because they are married and bored or can't get a woman. Some do it because it's easier and hassle free and all sorts of other reasons. That has been discussed elsewhere so don't want to get into now.

Who on earth said that all white hetereosexual men liked little children???!!!! WHAT??????????!!! You seem to have this self-perpetuating self-image that to be honest is not attractive and if you hang on to this view of women, no you won't meet a nice one.

How does being obsessed with wealth mean that we wont mean the men we see professionally in normal life? I don't get your point. I am single, and would quite like to meet a nice man. But it's not because I think all men are bastards (namesake) or ugly or whatever, it's because I haven't met the right one. And before you start, no, it's not because I am doing this...I do have a normal life too.

It's just opportunity and some of the men I see I would never come across normally. And no, that's not because I am in Wetherspoons (I keep saying that but nothing wrong with that pub!!) or doing my nails waiting for a footballer.

I think you need to read Mr Southern boys' post - it makes sense. Bitterness ain't attractive.

I am glad we have never met as to be frank, I probably wouldn't get on with you very well, and believe it or not, I do say no if they are unpleasant.

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Well, several points Mr Bastard raised really struck a chord with me Southernboy. The bitterness seeps through, and it's hard not to feel a bit of compassion.

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Perhaps I would feel more compassion if I could see any warmth coming out. But when ladies try and state the opposite case, some people argue that we are lying and find some sort of empirical evidence (i.e. some women are WAGS I agree) to say otherwise.

I shouldn't get as annoyed as I do and chill out!

You are lovelier than me (hence the namesake!)

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For goodness sake, Ms Lovelyslut, you're normally so wise, dont give Mr Bastard any sympathy and encourage him I've never heard so much mysoginistic, sexist, and now racist and homophobic claptrap. The sole reason for political correctness and positive discrimination is to correct chronic imbalances and give (almost) equal opportunities and rights to everyone. It may irritate many and seem heavyhanded at first but thats how we've seen such great progress in equal rights for women, gays and ethnic minorities. I'm sure it's a price worth paying. Remember, its still a lot easier to get by, get a job and earn good money if you're a white male

One minute he says every woman is a wannabe made up wag, pissed up at Wetherspoons, demanding a man on £100k+ and the next he's got lots of caring women friends and understanding WGs, Then he's off to parties/threesomes, full of self loathing for his punting habits but is sure he'll be a loving husband and a great father! Life's just not that simple, it rarely turns out the way you want or expect. Its a series of compromises

Punting is an enjoyable pastime. We all do it for a variety of reasons - some blokes are shits and lie, some have understandable reasons, some just enjoy it gulit free (me and Smiths). Some women have been crushed wives, some have been neglectful and thoughtless themselves or had other things on their mind. But all men and all women are'nt the same which always seems to be Mr Bastard's initial premise

Not sure where that came from or where its going...but I've said it

Firstly, I have said nothing mysoginistic, sexist, racist or homophobic. Disagree with me by all means, but I find those that resort to slander have already lost the debate.

I'm betting what I've highlighted in italics you have no understanding of whatsoever. How can any discrimination be 'positive'? People should earn and be rewarded on merit, and merit alone.

I rarely, if ever, use the word 'every'. Please quote a post where I use that word to describe any group of people.

I have never been to a (sex) party.

Whilst I find my personal situation depressing, I'd hardly call myself 'self loathing'. I have many qualities and have stated many times the reasons I visit escorts.

Your last comment in bold I think I've already adequately disputed.

Bit of advice young man. Before attacking - especially personally - someone else, do your research and make sure your argument is airtight, don't try and put words into others mouths and try not to resort to insults.

Lest one risk appearing to be lacking in intellect and maturity.

Edited by Mr Bastard

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Men are men in all areas of life, and so are women.

I am too long in the tooth and worldly wise to not know that men and women both lie to each other.

I feel I am the same in the paid sex world as I am in the normal world......I hate even dividing the two but you know what I mean.

The guys I meet are just the same I think as well.

My attitude towards men in this world is just the same as towards men in the normal world, I like some well most really, and a few I do not!

Lucy :)

Edited by Lucy7

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I'll concede one point Mr Bastard: maybe you havent been to sex parties but I did get that impression from an earlier post of yours about parties in Stoke and brum.My apologies for any offence. But thats the only one

I'm confident my argument is sound and stand by my comments. The self loathing refers to your punting activities not your wider life. And dont call me a young man: I'm sure I'm much older than you (50s)but if not.....

Discrimination can be positive if it helps a party which, as a member of a wider group has been negatively discriminated against eg women, gays etc, gains an equal footing. Choose on merit only if all parties are treated equally - hopefully we are getting there. Positive discrimination is not an oxymoron or self contradictory - just as criticism (literally, an opinion) can be poisitive or negative

And finally if you found my comments defamatory in any way they are libel not slander ie written words not spoken. Trust me Mr Bastard, its my job!

Lets just leave it at that

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I'm confident my argument is sound and stand by my comments. The self loathing refers to your punting activities not your wider life. And dont call me a young man: I'm sure I'm much older than you (50s)but if not.....

Discrimination can be positive if it helps a party which, as a member of a wider group has been negatively discriminated against eg women, gays etc, gains an equal footing. Choose on merit only if all parties are treated equally - hopefully we are getting there. Positive discrimination is not an oxymoron or self contradictory - just as criticism (literally, an opinion) can be poisitive or negative

And finally if you found my comments defamatory in any way they are libel not slander ie written words not spoken. Trust me Mr Bastard, its my job!

Lets just leave it at that

Er, no, lets not just 'leave it at that' shall we...

Firstly, how are all parties treated equally if there is any discrimination. You contradict yourself.

Indeed, libel is written comment as opposed to slander; however, although the comments on forums are 'written', in the legal sense, I use the word slander as the post of yours I refer to was not in the style of a written article or critique, more of a spoken outburst. Yet, I concede the legal technicality. Which makes me think you may be a parasite solicitor, just like the majority of those corrupt, amoral, philandering legal professionals that fill parliament.

And finally, if you want to be taken seriously as an adult and not mistaken as a nineteen-year-old, start conversing like one.

Lets just leave it at that, shall we...

Edited by Mr Bastard

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Positive discrimination means that the negatively perceived party is brought up to equal terms to the perceived superior party at which point a rational decision can be made on merit alone. No contradiction there: its a notion well understood in the US Supreme Court and, indeed, our House Of Lords as well as the European Court of Human Rights. It's not a contradiction as you suggest but you have, of course, every right to disagree with it - i just happen to think personally it is heplful to achieve a more equitable society

But I concede I may be conversing as 19 yr old and couldnt care less if i'm taken seriously or not.

I'm boring myself now. Anyway, whats your preference big boobs or little ones? I dont care as long as they're not engineered. i like a big bum though

Cheers, I'm off to an urban grime gig with the kidz

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Anyway, whats your preference big boobs or little ones? I dont care as long as they're not engineered. i like a big bum though

Haha! We have something in common! I adore a huge ass on a girl...Paige Turnah of porn and Elite TV fame has a slim frame, pretty face, but massive rear. Outstanding.

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At heart, most of us men naturally want to be givers, it is when men are devalued, receive no affection or gratitude by most (but not all) civvie women in general who unfortunately take many things men do for granted (with us men simply having no worthy / appreciative women in our lives to indulge our giving nature to) that really vexes us into bitterness / indifference.

It is interesting that Ladies here realise that male sexuality, despite being vilified to high heaven by misandrist society as something deviant / weird / creepy / perverted (or merely selfish) is really much about us men deriving pleasure from giving (be it oral, sex, compliments, etc) as it is about us receiving pleasure in return by women.

To the Ladies, what else have you learnt about Men since becoming WGs that you did not know previously?

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To the Ladies, what else have you learnt about Men since becoming WGs that you did not know previously?

Yes, the fact that cocks come in all shapes and sizes ;)

Lucy :)

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I have been surprised by the genuine sexual generosity of men (talking to a civvie friend last night who knows I'm a WG: she couldn't believe that 95% of the men who are paying to have sex with me really want to spend time eating me out, stimulating me, making me orgasm. She seemed to think that men only do so out of a sense of duty. I happily set her straight!)

Some studies show that around 30% of women rarely or never experience orgasm:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/17/science/17orga.html?pagewanted=all

So when us guys find a girl that responds so readily to our touch, it's like a revelation to us.

It may not be a totally altruistic gesture because it makes a man (well. me anyway) feel so utterly masculine to have helped a woman to that point of complete sexual abandon. So many reward circuits light up in my brain that I sometimes lose sight of my own pleasure! :huh:

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Hallo!

There are a few threads on here saying that perhaps punting makes men think of women differently in "normal" life.

Does this make you view men differently?

It certainly does for me, only in the sense that I know that a lot of men lie to their wives etc and if I have a relationship, would that be the same to me? Most women think "my husband wouldnt do that." But then we have seen a lot that do...

I don't know whether that's a bonus or not, to know the "truth."

Also, a arge percentage of men who punt are men you would never think of in reality doing it so I do wonder if the bank manager is at it.

BUT a caveat - I have met some wonderful people I would never have met otherwise so in a way I am pleased.

I have learnt a lot of myself and life through conversations I have had (just chit chat) but otherwise wouldn't have been on offer to me.

Hi SS,

Do I view men differently ?? No would be the answer honi. This is only one aspect of a man (sex).

I usually take a person as an individual and men are very different and varied in most things just like woman!! :-)

xxx

Edited by MissCupcakesx

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Men are men in all areas of life, and so are women.

I am too long in the tooth and worldly wise to not know that men and women both lie to each other.

I feel I am the same in the paid sex world as I am in the normal world......I hate even dividing the two but you know what I mean.

The guys I meet are just the same I think as well.

My attitude towards men in this world is just the same as towards men in the normal world, I like some well most really, and a few I do not!

Lucy :)

Totally agree Lucy spot on :)

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Hallo!

There are a few threads on here saying that perhaps punting makes men think of women differently in "normal" life.

Does this make you view men differently?

It certainly does for me, only in the sense that I know that a lot of men lie to their wives etc and if I have a relationship, would that be the same to me? Most women think "my husband wouldnt do that." But then we have seen a lot that do...

I don't know whether that's a bonus or not, to know the "truth."

Also, a arge percentage of men who punt are men you would never think of in reality doing it so I do wonder if the bank manager is at it.

BUT a caveat - I have met some wonderful people I would never have met otherwise so in a way I am pleased.

I have learnt a lot of myself and life through conversations I have had (just chit chat) but otherwise wouldn't have been on offer to me.

i could have written this literally word for word

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