Mr Bastard

Time To Stop...

58 posts in this topic

Decided I've been looking for the wrong things in the wrong places for way too long.

I have been foolishly attempting to fill the void of having no GF for so long by visiting escorts and parlours. I have been overly generous to several ladies; lingerie, flowers, perfume and even expensive dresses. I feel like a fool as it has taken me so long to realise the obvious - that the kind of generosity I've been exhibiting should be reserved for a lady who wants to reciprocate, not a professional engaging in a business transaction.

I'm seeing my favourite girl for what could be the last time on Friday evening, the last hotel booking in any case. Which brings me to my point. I'll still consider seeing her at the parlour she works from time to time - maybe as little as once a month - until I meet someone who is interested in me as much as me them. In the meantime, was wondering what folk thought was the best plan - reducing my exposure and weaning myself off gradually, or going cold turkey and being rather miserable in the short-term, especially on weekends.

Thought...comments...suggestions...

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Going cold turkey is not easy, reduce your exposure if you can. Find another hoby that is not cheap so your money goes elsewhere. Punting is addicitve!

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Funnel your punting budget into helping you achieve your goal.

E.g Spend the cash on kitting yourself out with a new wardrobe, or use it to take dates to better restaurants etc etc.

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Get a dating agency, or a Matchmaker to find you someone.

Reduce your exposure.

When I decide I don't want something any more, cold turkey is easy.

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Have to get the dates first! My wardrobe is ok, I've a pretty relaxed style, it's just getting into social situations where thirty-something single women will be mingling...

I've tried internet dating and unless your pics make you look like a movie star, women just aren't interested.

Think I'll just see my regular once a month or less, and limit the generosity; certainly no more dresses or perfume!

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go spend a bit of time abroad where women are more relaxed and open. it is the hardest trying to find a woman when u looking.

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go spend a bit of time abroad where women are more relaxed and open. it is the hardest trying to find a woman when u looking.

Saudi Arabia or the Yemen, which did you have in mind?

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Saudi Arabia or the Yemen, which did you have in mind?

with that sense of humour i hope u are very rich.

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Decided I've been looking for the wrong things in the wrong places for way too long.

I have been foolishly attempting to fill the void of having no GF for so long by visiting escorts and parlours. I have been overly generous to several ladies; lingerie, flowers, perfume and even expensive dresses. I feel like a fool as it has taken me so long to realise the obvious - that the kind of generosity I've been exhibiting should be reserved for a lady who wants to reciprocate, not a professional engaging in a business transaction.

I'm seeing my favourite girl for what could be the last time on Friday evening, the last hotel booking in any case. Which brings me to my point. I'll still consider seeing her at the parlour she works from time to time - maybe as little as once a month - until I meet someone who is interested in me as much as me them. In the meantime, was wondering what folk thought was the best plan - reducing my exposure and weaning myself off gradually, or going cold turkey and being rather miserable in the short-term, especially on weekends.

Thought...comments...suggestions...

Do what makes you happy. A mate of mine who like me is no oil painting met his partner at a Singles event, i was with him and i could of pulled a particular woman but didnt fancy her enough to bother.

If in your position i would wean myself off gradually but fully expect to need a fix or start clucking like the punting junkie i am. Fortunately i have no intention of giving up a mainly good pastime, being selfish i have always wanted my cake and to eat it. The way i look at it punting and pulling gives more chances of shagging, throw off the bullshit as i see it of monogamy and shag around as much as you can while you can and have fun.

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Decided I've been looking for the wrong things in the wrong places for way too long.

I have been foolishly attempting to fill the void of having no GF for so long by visiting escorts and parlours. I have been overly generous to several ladies; lingerie, flowers, perfume and even expensive dresses. I feel like a fool as it has taken me so long to realise the obvious - that the kind of generosity I've been exhibiting should be reserved for a lady who wants to reciprocate, not a professional engaging in a business transaction.

I'm seeing my favourite girl for what could be the last time on Friday evening, the last hotel booking in any case. Which brings me to my point. I'll still consider seeing her at the parlour she works from time to time - maybe as little as once a month - until I meet someone who is interested in me as much as me them. In the meantime, was wondering what folk thought was the best plan - reducing my exposure and weaning myself off gradually, or going cold turkey and being rather miserable in the short-term, especially on weekends.

Thought...comments...suggestions...

As I see it, you are trying to give up being over-generous to WGs, not swear off sex completely. I think seeing either your reg, or perhaps even a different new girl (so you aren't so tempted to buy her treats) once every so often won't hurt.

Throw your energies into the social scene instead of trying to impress escorts. Don't force the dating issue, just find social events where single women hang out. Best of luck.

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im in a similar position to the OP....being single means from time to time I cant resist the urge to punt , always say I'd like to give it up but ...just like a drug its addictive....the power of sex or sexy females!

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I'm single and if I find someone, I find someone. Not going out of my way to do so as I've found that rarely works out.

In the meantime, I have the occasional punt but understand that it is what it is and nothing more. Wouldn't dream of giving a girl an expensive gift. Thats where lines start to become blurred in my eyes.

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I'm single and if I find someone, I find someone. Not going out of my way to do so as I've found that rarely works out.

In the meantime, I have the occasional punt but understand that it is what it is and nothing more. Wouldn't dream of giving a girl an expensive gift. Thats where lines start to become blurred in my eyes.

For the past decade I've not been 'going out of my way to find someone' and looking or not looking both provide null results for me...but you are right about blurring lines, which is why I want to stop...

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It is plainly silly to give flowers etc to a pro - absurd and ridiculous.

Stop paying for sex now - and find a relationship - I would advise that to any but the most hopeless case single guy.

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Decided I've been looking for the wrong things in the wrong places for way too long.

I have been foolishly attempting to fill the void of having no GF for so long by visiting escorts and parlours. I have been overly generous to several ladies; lingerie, flowers, perfume and even expensive dresses. I feel like a fool as it has taken me so long to realise the obvious - that the kind of generosity I've been exhibiting should be reserved for a lady who wants to reciprocate, not a professional engaging in a business transaction.

I'm seeing my favourite girl for what could be the last time on Friday evening, the last hotel booking in any case. Which brings me to my point. I'll still consider seeing her at the parlour she works from time to time - maybe as little as once a month - until I meet someone who is interested in me as much as me them. In the meantime, was wondering what folk thought was the best plan - reducing my exposure and weaning myself off gradually, or going cold turkey and being rather miserable in the short-term, especially on weekends.

Thought...comments...suggestions...

Thing is you'll get a girlfriend and then find that isn't enough either and you'll be back to square one.

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Going cold turkey is not easy, reduce your exposure if you can. Find another hoby that is not cheap so your money goes elsewhere. Punting is addicitve!

Get a dating agency, or a Matchmaker to find you someone.

Reduce your exposure.

When I decide I don't want something any more, cold turkey is easy.

Conjures up interesting images !

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It's all very well saying to someone 'find a relationship' as if it's something you can just pick up like a can of beans in the supermarket, and it's just a matter of which particular brand you would like.

Maybe you boys are better at pulling than me, but my relationships have been characterised by being very few, but very intense. I found myself back on the 'available' list some years ago Mr Bastard. I joined an online dating site, I hope it's okay to say the name, it was POF. Got bloody loads of attention, met a lot of very nice guys. A lot of them were a fair bit younger than me, and the common thing I heard from all of them, was that girls just didn't seem interested in them. These were young, handsome, intelligent guys and I found it astonishing that they had any trouble in that department.

Our lives are increasingly being narrowed by the pace we all live at now. It is HARD to meet new people, and I am a very friendly, warm and outgoing person, so if it is hard for me, god knows what it must be like if you are a bit shy, or insecure, or just a bit more introverted.

I think you should try a dating site Mr Bastard, but I'd advise you from my own experience talking to the guys I met, YOU will have to make the running, because any half decent looking woman will be getting a lot of messages and attention.

It's maybe a bit over generous to be buying escorts the kinds of gifts you are describing, and I'm sorry you feel like a fool, because you aren't. Maybe just a tad too generous. It turns me on to get paid, I don't expect anything on top of that, although when I have had someone give me a tip, I'll admit, it is a huge buzz to feel that they not only thought you were worth your fee, but deserve something a bit extra. But I would never expect it.

I had a client recently, we chatted for quite a while after the booking, and discovered we are both massive Bill Hicks fans. ( I know, I know, I'm always bloody on about him, I cant help it). Anyway, 2 days after the booking I received a box in the post from Amazon. It was 2 coffee mugs with pics of Bill Hicks on them, and a little message saying 'I thought you would like these'. I could have cried, I was so touched, that he went to that kind of trouble. He didn't need to, he had paid me and we had a great time. The point is, that was a gift that probably cost under a tenner, and I couldn't have been more thrilled if it was a set of La Perla underwear and a bottle of Chanel No 5.

You are a free agent Mr Bastard, it doesn't have to be 'one or the other'. Join a dating site, see how it goes, and in some ways I think knowing you can just see an escort if you want to might ease the pressure when you start meeting new people. And good luck.

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Have to get the dates first! My wardrobe is ok, I've a pretty relaxed style, it's just getting into social situations where thirty-something single women will be mingling...

I wouldn't give up on Internet dating agencies, I had a great 2 years of going out with many woman and having fun. I am by no means a looker, but show interest and listen to the girls and you will be surprised by the success rate.

Barney

I've tried internet dating and unless your pics make you look like a movie star, women just aren't interested.

Think I'll just see my regular once a month or less, and limit the generosity; certainly no more dresses or perfume!

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Thing is you'll get a girlfriend and then find that isn't enough either and you'll be back to square one.

Speaking for myself I'd agree with you here czechmate1967

I've had loving relationships with wonderful women but still punted all the way through all of them

It makes no difference how much I love her or how fantastic she is, I cant achieve sexual satisfaction from one person as and when the urge takes me, nor would I expect any one woman to be at my sexual beck and call in this way. Hence punting fulfils these physical urges at the drop of a hat (or end of a phone call).

I suspect youre somewhat similar, however not everyone is like this and it sounds, from the OP's original post, as though he is really just looking for a 'real life' partner, albeit until now hes been looking in completely the wrong place, and then when/if he finds her he'll stop paying wgs.

Good luck to him I say

If he finds a nice woman perhaps he'll change his screen name to 'MrNiceGuy'

Buying expensive gifts for wgs and expecting some sort of reciprocation, outside of the usual parameters of the paid transaction, is naive in the extreme though, Im surprised at you MrBastard !!!!

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Thing is you'll get a girlfriend and then find that isn't enough either and you'll be back to square one.

Of course that might not be the case for the OP. To my mind to have loved is far better than to never have loved and been loved so even if it is the case its still worth it.

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Speaking for myself I'd agree with you here czechmate1967

I've had loving relationships with wonderful women but still punted all the way through all of them

It makes no difference how much I love her or how fantastic she is, I cant achieve sexual satisfaction from one person as and when the urge takes me, nor would I expect any one woman to be at my sexual beck and call in this way. Hence punting fulfils these physical urges at the drop of a hat (or end of a phone call).

I suspect youre somewhat similar, however not everyone is like this and it sounds, from the OP's original post, as though he is really just looking for a 'real life' partner, albeit until now hes been looking in completely the wrong place, and then when/if he finds her he'll stop paying wgs.

Good luck to him I say

If he finds a nice woman perhaps he'll change his screen name to 'MrNiceGuy'

Buying expensive gifts for wgs and expecting some sort of reciprocation, outside of the usual parameters of the paid transaction, is naive in the extreme though, Im surprised at you MrBastard !!!!

Very much the same scenario with me.

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Isn't the saying that women always go for the Bastards?

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It is plainly silly to give flowers etc to a pro - absurd and ridiculous.

Buying expensive gifts for wgs and expecting some sort of reciprocation, outside of the usual parameters of the paid transaction, is naive in the extreme though, Im surprised at you MrBastard !!!!

You're welcome to your opinions fellas. I have an opinion that says it is utterly wrong to pay for sex when in a relationship, and you would disagree with that opinion in the same way I disgagree with yours. I think it comes down to the kind of people and characters we are. I have a generous and giving personality and enjoy the feeling of making someone else feel good. But, I can completely understand how others see this from the outside, and in the cold light of day, after the meet, I concede feeling rather foolish and negative about myself.

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Isn't the saying that women always go for the Bastards?

They go for handsome and/or rich bastards, Strawberry. Not this bastard.

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You're welcome to your opinions fellas. I have an opinion that says it is utterly wrong to pay for sex when in a relationship, and you would disagree with that opinion in the same way I disgagree with yours. I think it comes down to the kind of people and characters we are. I have a generous and giving personality and enjoy the feeling of making someone else feel good. But, I can completely understand how others see this from the outside, and in the cold light of day, after the meet, I concede feeling rather foolish and negative about myself.

If the relationship you're in includes the kind of sex you want, you won't need to see wgs. If however, it's vanilla and you need something more, then you'll have to keep seeing someone who gives you what you want. You're lucky that presently anything you want is available. It wasn't always so.

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