dami3n

Wg / Client A Co Worker At Your New Job, What Do You Do?

56 posts in this topic

Never felt the need to start a thread ... PM’s to experienced members or joining an ongoing discussion but I’m torn about this issue – not one i expected to have to deal with if I’m honest.

I saw this WG twice last year ...a while ago now, I changed jobs recently, turns out we work in the same building ...floor above!, dunno how long this has been the case. I only realised this about 2 weeks ago when I changed my work hours, she did say she worked part time when I met her and indeed my return from my late lunch often coincides with her leaving the building.

The thing is she doesn’t recognise me as I’ve changed my appearance quite a bit from a rather loud hair and beard and glasses to clean shaven and no glasses and I walk past her with no reaction or double take so I don’t think she recognises me as a client anyway but over the course of this week we’ve made eye contact 3 times and she said hello at the entrance to the building today ...just a kind of I know you work in the building kind of hello

I’ve been thinking about seeing her for a while before this but now I’m sure it would click that we’ve seen each other at work or she’ll clock my face the very next day or something,

weird but I feel this may freak her out and she may rather I didn’t book her again or at least make her slightly paranoid or uncomfortable thinking what IF I told someone who told someone etc etc – which would certainly not happen as I have my own secrets to keep and wouldn’t want any of my colleagues or anyone for that matter knowing.

So finally to my question, do I message her or call her (not from my previous booking no. or AVV account) and ask how she would feel about a client ‘from work’ and abide by her position as it’s very unlikely she’ll recognise me unless I approach her.

OR

Do I book anyway and see how it plays out?, though two punts I’ve had where the lady felt they ‘knew me from somewhere’ turned out to be my worst ever – EVER, both clammed up or became irritable after quite a lengthy inquisition, but perhaps normal if a girl should somehow (if wrongly) feel a punter was denying his identity after a bad punt a long time ago or just being rather stalkish ...they absolutely hadn’t met me by the way, was still very new to the scene and hadn’t met more than a handful of WG’s by that time anyway besides I'm a really nice guy :)

She is a lovely girl and very discreet about her other job and what I don’t want is for her to come to work paranoid who’s staring at her or who knows or doesn’t, no intention to disclose her details but it’s a huge office complex West London with a few major telecoms and medical research firms to keep it vague.

...Then again she may be totally fine with it and I’m on to a good thing?

Your thoughts?

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No.

You ignore her, you don't call her and you leave her to get on with her life outside of this profession.

Be a gentlemen leave her be, remember the good times you had and leave it at that.

No good will come of contacting her.

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No.

You ignore her, you don't call her and you leave her to get on with her life outside of this profession.

Be a gentlemen leave her be, remember the good times you had and leave it at that.

No good will come of contacting her.

I agree. You're going to freak her out if you book her and she realises. Definitely, definitely leave it alone.

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Definitely a no no!

How do you think you'd feel if your roles were reversed?!

She'll probably run out of an appointment and a good chance you'll see next working day that she's probably quit the job. I doubt she'd want there to be any risk of people in her 'real' life finding out about her sideline!

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No.

You ignore her, you don't call her and you leave her to get on with her life outside of this profession.

Be a gentlemen leave her be, remember the good times you had and leave it at that.

No good will come of contacting her.

+1 Discretion cuts both ways.

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Never felt the need to start a thread ... PM’s to experienced members or joining an ongoing discussion but I’m torn about this issue – not one i expected to have to deal with if I’m honest.

I saw this WG twice last year ...a while ago now, I changed jobs recently, turns out we work in the same building ...floor above!, dunno how long this has been the case. I only realised this about 2 weeks ago when I changed my work hours, she did say she worked part time when I met her and indeed my return from my late lunch often coincides with her leaving the building.

The thing is she doesn’t recognise me as I’ve changed my appearance quite a bit from a rather loud hair and beard and glasses to clean shaven and no glasses and I walk past her with no reaction or double take so I don’t think she recognises me as a client anyway but over the course of this week we’ve made eye contact 3 times and she said hello at the entrance to the building today ...just a kind of I know you work in the building kind of hello

I’ve been thinking about seeing her for a while before this but now I’m sure it would click that we’ve seen each other at work or she’ll clock my face the very next day or something,

weird but I feel this may freak her out and she may rather I didn’t book her again or at least make her slightly paranoid or uncomfortable thinking what IF I told someone who told someone etc etc – which would certainly not happen as I have my own secrets to keep and wouldn’t want any of my colleagues or anyone for that matter knowing.

So finally to my question, do I message her or call her (not from my previous booking no. or AVV account) and ask how she would feel about a client ‘from work’ and abide by her position as it’s very unlikely she’ll recognise me unless I approach her.

OR

Do I book anyway and see how it plays out?, though two punts I’ve had where the lady felt they ‘knew me from somewhere’ turned out to be my worst ever – EVER, both clammed up or became irritable after quite a lengthy inquisition, but perhaps normal if a girl should somehow (if wrongly) feel a punter was denying his identity after a bad punt a long time ago or just being rather stalkish ...they absolutely hadn’t met me by the way, was still very new to the scene and hadn’t met more than a handful of WG’s by that time anyway besides I'm a really nice guy :)

She is a lovely girl and very discreet about her other job and what I don’t want is for her to come to work paranoid who’s staring at her or who knows or doesn’t, no intention to disclose her details but it’s a huge office complex West London with a few major telecoms and medical research firms to keep it vague.

...Then again she may be totally fine with it and I’m on to a good thing?

Your thoughts?

I definitely agree with others, ignore her totally and look elsewhere. Who knows what can of worms might get opened if you punted with her again.

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Another that agrees with not taking it further

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And me. I can't see any scenario where she would be pleased about this. A "not pleased" WG is never going to result in a good booking. And the potential fall out for both of you at work should anything come out doesn't bear thinking about.

Leave her be. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

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Definitely No , as others say .

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I dont get it, we have a thread running about wg and punters asking if they can be friends, now here is a situation which could be in reverse and yet we tell the guy not to make a booking.

How about if he is really keen on seeing her, whats wrong with a message saying that you know she is working part time, and that you are a keen on a booking if it can be arranged, and that it stays between them.

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a unanimous response I dreaded but half expected ...been conflicted since I saw her as I walked in from the station and was extremely nervous if she would recognise me but didnt. hearing from you guys is pretty loud and clear.

gutted if I'm honest, she was a pretty special young lady ...recalling anything about her may link to a previous post or recommendation so the rest is probably best left unsaid.

spklors! a differing position is interesting to read, thanks ...but I did entertain that thought for a bit and any message in itself could spook her knowing someone knows but who could the person be?, how close that person is to her desk she wouldn't know, and it perhaps unfair to pursue it for my pleasure and to her cost - one may never know i guess but for the possibility that it could be damaging one way or another it's probably best to walk away though i really - REALLY wish I didn't have to

I guess the dynamics are very much different with her job and everything, if she was a full time WG I would not engage in public anyway (I've passed on on bayswater on a shopping trip) but could still book and if she recognised me it wouldn't be that bad as it was a random street encounter not that I know where she goes to work everyday and someday a punt might go wrong and I have the means to out her

Edited by dami3n

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Not exactly the same situation, but I discovered that one of the WGs I get on well with is a friend of one of my co-workers. I've been in contact with the WG about this, and we've agreed it doesn't have to affect things, and she's still happy to see me in the future.

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For the OP I have say that I very strongly agree with Mr Divine, smiths and Gemma. Leave well alone and cherish the memory for what it is; something that happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. She does not need a disturbance in the force and neither do you.

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This is the most fraught area of most WGs lives. When I decided to be friends with / date a client, that was my choice. A client trying to initiate that transition would have been risky, awkward, embarassing.

If someone from my civilian life tried booking me, I'd be horrified. Yesterday someone tried booking me & I recognised their number, so I turned it down. I have no idea why their number seemed familiar, but it's not worth the risk.

You may like the sense of power, but I advise you to walk away & keep quiet!

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I'm not sure if this is a wind up. You say that you found out that a girl you know works in your building and your reaction to that is to consider making a booking with her!? What exactly will that achieve other then making her think you're a crazy stalker? It would also demonstrate a complete lack of discretion on your part and she would probably assume that you've told other people, which I can only pray you haven't.

Most sane people would run a mile, its not just about what you want to. Making contact or even a booking would no doubt freak her out and make things unworkable, no good can come of it.

Consider yourself lucky she doesn't recognise you and stay well away is my advice.

Edited by willsmith

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I agree with all the stay away comments, I guess its about boundaries discretion, and trust neither wishes their activities to be revealed. You say she hasn't recognised you but if she has then she has given no encouragement to engage.

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I agree with the majority, leave well alone, at the moment. She could well leave her job, and then you can book her again. But ask yourself, if she left her job, would you find her so interesting? After all, you saw her last year, not exactly keen all things considered.

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Just because the majority of replies say stay away, that is no indication that this is the right thing to do, why not just bide your time and get on friendlier terms with her, then ask her out for a shared lunch with you, take it from there.

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I saw this WG twice last year ...a while ago now................................She is a lovely girl

gutted if I'm honest, she was a pretty special young lady ...

If shw was that 'special' and 'lovely', you would have seen her again long before now. The reason you want to see her now is because she is working near you, and that has created some sort of fantasy. That is the wrong reason for seeing her again. Don't do it !

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Because, spklors, there is a good chance that (a) she's recognised the OP and is hoping that he hasn't recognised her, or that (b.) she hasn't be will recognise him as soon as he gets close enough to ask her out for lunch.

And, pooter, I don't think the OP should try and book her after they have finished working in the same building either. She will be wondering what her former colleagues, some of whom might still be friends, know about her.

In summary, keep well away ... and don't go back even if circumstances change.

Edited by Joe Diddley

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I'm not sure if this is a wind up. You say that you found out that a girl you know works in your building and your reaction to that is to consider making a booking with her!? What exactly will that achieve other then making her think you're a crazy stalker? It would also demonstrate a complete lack of discretion on your part and she would probably assume that you've told other people, which I can only pray you haven't.

Most sane people would run a mile, its not just about what you want to. Making contact or even a booking would no doubt freak her out and make things unworkable, no good can come of it.

Consider yourself lucky she doesn't recognise you and stay well away is my advice.

this really isn't 'my forum' (general discussion) I use pnet for giving and receiving recommendations and probably frequented the massage forum back when and the request for info so I'll be damned if my first ever thread is a 'wind up' ...to what purpose I can't imagine.

I think I'm quite a sane, measured person but I've been known to be wrong, maybe in the moment I thought I could still punt her and discretion would prevail, maybe a little fantasy but not something I'd run a mile from it is what it is i work here and so does she if it so happened she did recognise me I'm not leaving my job or running a mile that's for sure so que sera and such but on the point that it would be a very bad move - agreed

I agree with all the stay away comments, I guess its about boundaries discretion, and trust neither wishes their activities to be revealed. You say she hasn't recognised you but if she has then she has given no encouragement to engage.

point well made and well taken - may well be the case but felt rather certain she genuinely doesn't or can't recognise me

I agree with the majority, leave well alone, at the moment. She could well leave her job, and then you can book her again. But ask yourself, if she left her job, would you find her so interesting? After all, you saw her last year, not exactly keen all things considered.

I'm not always in london for the record work takes me all over the place even when I happen to be in London ...not to get too into it, I did say I was considering seeing her before 'this' her current job is not what interests me but seeing her up close in a short summer dress in a non punting environment did spark something but that would have happened if I'd run into her anywhere else to be honest

my keeness is rather hard to deduce from what I've said if I'm honest ...did see her twice in very quick succesion and until then I'd never seen any one twice and both bookings were for a few hours as well - besides the point though, I've given more than a few gushing recommendations on the boards but won't reference them

Edited by dami3n

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Joe Diddley hit upon a point which I was going to raise: what if she has already recognised him and is hoping / dreading that he hasn't recognised her and/or what if she recognises him in the future?

Would a solution be to make contact just to say "yes I am me and you are you" but of course NOT to book, and further to reassure her that you won't book and both your secrets will stay safe?

I don't think that staying away and pretending the situation doesn't exist is a good idea for the above-mentioned reason: she may already have recognised him and be living in dread that he might book again / tell his colleagues or something similar.

DH

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Just because the majority of replies say stay away, that is no indication that this is the right thing to do, why not just bide your time and get on friendlier terms with her, then ask her out for a shared lunch with you, take it from there.

The OP asked for opinions and got them, what he decides to do is obviously his business. Ultimately it always comes down to what the individual thinks is right for them.

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Joe Diddley hit upon a point which I was going to raise: what if she has already recognised him and is hoping / dreading that he hasn't recognised her and/or what if she recognises him in the future?

Would a solution be to make contact just to say "yes I am me and you are you" but of course NOT to book, and further to reassure her that you won't book and both your secrets will stay safe?

I don't think that staying away and pretending the situation doesn't exist is a good idea for the above-mentioned reason: she may already have recognised him and be living in dread that he might book again / tell his colleagues or something similar.

DH

matureguy made the point earlier as well and I while possible she's aware but doesn't want to be or hope she's not recognised I don't think so but hey I may never know

i've said elsewhere that her recognising me now or in the future is not going to change anything unless she's indiscreet, which I'm sure she isn't and neither am I, by that I mean I'm going to walk up the same lobby into the same elevator and exit my floor to my job and hope she does the same and no one is any the wiser we've done well enough so far

on another lingering point IF and when I do leave for a better job in a different area should one present itself i will likely book her again in the hope/belief that she genuinely didn't recognise me so as far as she knows and is concerned ...I know nothing and we've never met outside a punt

I'm not sure if this is a wind up. You say that you found out that a girl you know works in your building and your reaction to that is to consider making a booking with her!? What exactly will that achieve other then making her think you're a crazy stalker? It would also demonstrate a complete lack of discretion on your part and she would probably assume that you've told other people, which I can only pray you haven't.

Most sane people would run a mile, its not just about what you want to. Making contact or even a booking would no doubt freak her out and make things unworkable, no good can come of it.

Consider yourself lucky she doesn't recognise you and stay well away is my advice.

i get that it's a bad idea but thats a bit harsh, I have not demonstrated an indiscretion, I have not approached her in public and I have not told anyone nor will i as I said in my original post, I have contemplated contacting her annonymously through her working profile but I can see how that could have pretty much the same bad effect, and even IF i did which I now wont how is that demonstrating indiscretion? it would still only exist between the two or us so can't for the life of me see how that is a complete lack of discretion :blink:

I can't prove to anyone that I would have seen her regardless so I'm just going to have to take my own word for it, my punting geography only just got closer to her because of the new job so it's not like she's been on my doorstep the whole time, she works in west london and I live in a non 'london' postcode well east bound

I've asked the audience and every opinion is more than welcome, maybe it's obvious to some but i do wonder if your 'ideal' or 'perfect' punts turned up within the daily sphere of your civvy lives how easy it would really be for you guys not to have second thoughts or 'what ifs' ...really

Edited by dami3n

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This is the most fraught area of most WGs lives. When I decided to be friends with / date a client, that was my choice. A client trying to initiate that transition would have been risky, awkward, embarassing.

If someone from my civilian life tried booking me, I'd be horrified. Yesterday someone tried booking me & I recognised their number, so I turned it down. I have no idea why their number seemed familiar, but it's not worth the risk.

You may like the sense of power, but I advise you to walk away & keep quiet!

i dig that Lara but I'm not seeking friendship, can't say i exist in her civvie life we just work really really close to each other I don't know her collegues or friends or such, my only knowledge of her is as a working girl at her working flat (unless she has recognised me as a previous client) neither am I seeking a date or to transition from anything to anything other and really don't care much for a sense of power (you did say 'may' but just making it clear i don't)

my premise was that IF she didn't recognise me from before could I still punt her purely as a WG,and hope discretion still prevailed ...but seems not.

I was conflicted enough to seek opinions, maybe it should have been obvious but a part of me wanted to believe it could have been okay ...somehow

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