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lancelot

Doggie Tied - Most Ludicrous Problem Any Punter Ever Had

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I used to have 2 punting windows per week.

I still have those windows open to me but for one small canine problem. I have been lumbered with looking after a little doggie. At home it is not a problem because I can just lock it away in its little cage and go off and do what I want.

But my other more valuable window involves me looking after the little tail wagger 60 miles from base for 3 hours during which time I am expected to walk it or sit with it in the car. This is a potential massive loss to me as I just recently found a superb provider there.

So what to do?

I can't take any risks with the animal - that is paramount. I have considered leaving it with a kennel - but somehow I don't like that idea - I might get back after and find them closed or some other difficult to predict problem and I have to appear after 3 hours with that pooch or have some explaining to do.

I can't leave it in the car - no way - I just would not be able to relax.

That leaves me with two options one of which is to get used to dog walking.

You know what it is - I am too embarrassed to say it but nevertheless I want to ask providers - would you accept such a thing? Perhaps I could pass it off as a fetish - or a treat to a doggie voyeur.

And guys - if I have missed any other potential solution I would love to know.

(After a week I am going to ask for this thread to be deleted.)

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sub-contract the work. More money out of your pocket but your mind might be at ease knowing that the dog is in safe hands with an insured, experienced dog walker. Drop and collect from their address and go enjoy!!!

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I used to have 2 punting windows per week.

I still have those windows open to me but for one small canine problem. I have been lumbered with looking after a little doggie. At home it is not a problem because I can just lock it away in its little cage and go off and do what I want.

But my other more valuable window involves me looking after the little tail wagger 60 miles from base for 3 hours during which time I am expected to walk it or sit with it in the car. This is a potential massive loss to me as I just recently found a superb provider there.

So what to do?

I can't take any risks with the animal - that is paramount. I have considered leaving it with a kennel - but somehow I don't like that idea - I might get back after and find them closed or some other difficult to predict problem and I have to appear after 3 hours with that pooch or have some explaining to do.

I can't leave it in the car - no way - I just would not be able to relax.

That leaves me with two options one of which is to get used to dog walking.

You know what it is - I am too embarrassed to say it but nevertheless I want to ask providers - would you accept such a thing? Perhaps I could pass it off as a fetish - or a treat to a doggie voyeur.

And guys - if I have missed any other potential solution I would love to know.

(After a week I am going to ask for this thread to be deleted.)

So your wife thinks you are walking the dog and you want to find someone to let the poor thing sit in their apartment whilst you shag them ?? Poor little dog I would imagine certain divorce if the wife ever got wind of that little arrangement.

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Punter to WG "Is it OK if I bring my dog?"

WG to Punter ",,,,,,"

Entries on a postcard please

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Ha I love dogs, but if you brought it with you you'd be in massive danger of me paying more attention to it than you! (I mean that in a very innocent way before anyone makes any beastiality jokes...).

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So your wife thinks you are walking the dog and you want to find someone to let the poor thing sit in their apartment whilst you shag them ?? Poor little dog I would imagine certain divorce if the wife ever got wind of that little arrangement.

Yes well that goes for every married guy on this board - doggie business or not.

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sub-contract the work. More money out of your pocket but your mind might be at ease knowing that the dog is in safe hands with an insured, experienced dog walker. Drop and collect from their address and go enjoy!!!

That's not a bad suggestion - thanks.

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a bit of research and you might find something similar

http://www.londonwoof.com/?page_id=18

much better than kennels and the dog should have a great time (providing the dog is good socially).

More often than not there's always a solution.

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Just explain your problem. Im sure you would be able to find somone who would allow you to park the pooch in the kitchen so long as you are prepared to deal with any accidents that may occur while you are bonking.x

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As long as you aren’t expecting a MFW, i.e. Male Female and Woof interaction I would ask if you can bring Le Pooch along to a booking. I know I would not mind but it might not be ok on some premises as per the lady’s lease. Although I may be very distracted cuddling the dog :) In fact, think about it as a potential plus and more opportunities if you find ladies that are happy to receive you both. You could easily excuse more absences….

PS: Just remember to actually bring the dog back. Heard stories where guys went to brothels whilst out with their dogs and in post coital bliss leaving the dogs behind as they skipped off in a happy haze :D

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There are Dog walking, minding and grooming services; even in the provinces nowadays. :)

Edited by WykeTyke

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Poison Fido's next meal. He keels over and dies. You no longer have a dog. Problem solved.

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I used to have 2 punting windows per week.

I still have those windows open to me but for one small canine problem. I have been lumbered with looking after a little doggie. At home it is not a problem because I can just lock it away in its little cage and go off and do what I want.

But my other more valuable window involves me looking after the little tail wagger 60 miles from base for 3 hours during which time I am expected to walk it or sit with it in the car.

On a point of order, brother chair-person!

You want to enjoy the services of a WG? You are, I guess, pleasing your masculinity? In short you are a male and want to have sex with a female?

Yet this other life form has no gender? IT IT IT IT IT IT ?

You need to show some respect for your four footed companion and think of him or her as such.

Once you have made this big jump, you can consider the problem. Why can you not leave your colleague in the car (with windows sufficiently open, and preferably in the shade)? Dogs have been studying humans for a long time. They have worked quite a few things out. In particular:

a) If they settle on a human's trousers, he can't go far without telling them (that some humans have more than one pair, they haven't yet worked out).

B) If they have the car, you can't go anywhere much without them (airport car parks, equally, they haven't yet worked out either).

You problem is not one of how to get away for two punts a week, it is one of your relationship with this dog. Get down on the floor, and look the beast in the eyes, and then lick his or her nose. You are now home, and dried.

PS Dogs never tell other humans where you've taken them.

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I can't be the only person who clicked on this thread expecting a discussion about BDSM and a sexual position can I ?

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Ha I love dogs, but if you brought it with you you'd be in massive danger of me paying more attention to it than you! (I mean that in a very innocent way before anyone makes any beastiality jokes...).

A WG I used to see had a lovely friendly cat who would curl around your legs whenever you went in or out. Obviously there was no resisting the temptation to tell her that I only kept coming because of her lovely pussy.

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Why not get a dog sitter? In London, most charge between £12 and £35 an hour, but daycare will cost £35 - £55. You could take the dog to the Groomer's & kill two birds with one stone.

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Poison Fido's next meal. He keels over and dies. You no longer have a dog. Problem solved.

You're earning your handle there.

Just for the amusement of taking it seriously: I bet there's such a thing as a forensic investigation of suspicious dog deaths now. Some people are crazy enough about them that they'd pay for that. You might find yourself a dogicide suspect. Maybe that could even land you in jail, with the animal cruelty legislation that's on the books and the crazy level of doggy passion in this country!

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Arrange your next punt in the woods?, on second thoughts....nahhhhhhhhh LOL

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Years ago I brought a girl I had seen many times to my home for an overnight, while my wife was away. The dog had not been walked, so she agreed to accompany me for a walk in the woods about midnight.

Human nature being what it is, we found ourselves bonking on a bench in the woods with the dog, tied to a tree, looking on.

Great start to a great night!

So many memories!

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as a dog lover and a owner of 6 rather large dogs which are bullmastiffs and dogue de bordeauxs including one that i called Hooker :eek: i have a few clients who bring there four legged friends to their appointments at my flat and i dont mind

as long as they ( the client im talking about of course is well behaved ) no slobber, no chewing my kitchen units, and no peeing and marking their spots, and definatly no drinking from the toilet them im happy to allow them to spend the hour or so in the kitchen or on the landing in a spare basket with a few chews and bowl of water

I used to have 2 punting windows per week.

I still have those windows open to me but for one small canine problem. I have been lumbered with looking after a little doggie. At home it is not a problem because I can just lock it away in its little cage and go off and do what I want.

But my other more valuable window involves me looking after the little tail wagger 60 miles from base for 3 hours during which time I am expected to walk it or sit with it in the car. This is a potential massive loss to me as I just recently found a superb provider there.

So what to do?

I can't take any risks with the animal - that is paramount. I have considered leaving it with a kennel - but somehow I don't like that idea - I might get back after and find them closed or some other difficult to predict problem and I have to appear after 3 hours with that pooch or have some explaining to do.

I can't leave it in the car - no way - I just would not be able to relax.

That leaves me with two options one of which is to get used to dog walking.

You know what it is - I am too embarrassed to say it but nevertheless I want to ask providers - would you accept such a thing? Perhaps I could pass it off as a fetish - or a treat to a doggie voyeur.

And guys - if I have missed any other potential solution I would love to know.

(After a week I am going to ask for this thread to be deleted.)

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depending on where your going google doggie day care there are lots of places that do doggie day care for 4 - 6 hours at a time

and you just pick the dog up on the afterwards

or find a dog parlour ( groomer in the area that your going to and treat the doggie to a blow job ( i mean blow dry and pedicure ) these things always take ages and ages 2 -3 hours at most places and im sure that you will find one that will be happy if you pay a bit extra to keep pooch there for you

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Years ago I brought a girl I had seen many times to my home for an overnight, while my wife was away. The dog had not been walked, so she agreed to accompany me for a walk in the woods about midnight.

Human nature being what it is, we found ourselves bonking on a bench in the woods with the dog, tied to a tree, looking on.

Great start to a great night!

So many memories!

Every guy I've been involved with (as a civilian) in the last 3 years, refused to let my dog in the bedroom if we were shagging.

The current one complains about the dog's snoring.

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Give him/her to me to look after, I want a doggie!!

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lol he would hate my ddb shabba if your downstairs and he is upstairs on the stairs sleeping you can actually hear him from downstairs he viberates worse than a bloody rabbit viberator

and in the morning when he wants to go out he just comes to my bedroom door and headbuts its to open it ( its better than an alarm clock though)

Every guy I've been involved with (as a civilian) in the last 3 years, refused to let my dog in the bedroom if we were shagging.

The current one complains about the dog's snoring.

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I’ve never owned a dog because I’m frequently away for long periods but a few years ago I had a sub-let flat in the Oxo Tower, when I was going through my divorce, and was looking after my daughter’s dog. I used to take it through the West End in the evenings and being a Ridgeback it would cut an impressive swathe through the crowds of Spanish tourists. Its mean fierce appearance belied its true nature as it’s a completely lovable softie more likely to lick you to death.

One summer evening I was walking the dog through a Covent Garden thoroughfare past a well known, and now defunct, brothel when I bumped into a girl outside Tesco. She was all over the dog and asked if I wanted to punt telling me that the dog would be fine in the flat with the maid and the other girls. The girls were fussing over it and being a woman’s dog it was obviously delighted with the attention it received during my two hours in the bedroom. Anyway I thought no more about it, but about six weeks later I was walking down the same road and the dog remembered this nondescript door between the outdoor tables of a restaurant furiously wagging its tail, looking at me expectantly and sighing the way dogs do when they want something. I can remember thinking that the last time we were down this road together it cost me £300.

In contrast my daughter also owns a Bedlington which is the epitome of an endearing fluffy cute bundle. And it is - until it encounters anything rodent-like or feline and turns into a psycho killer. It’s had squirrels, cats, a friend’s six week old kitten and a neighbour’s rabbit that unwisely burrowed into the garden.

I really want a dog of my own but I’m afraid it would outlive me so I’ll just have to make do with the two cats at home and occasional dog sitting when asked.

<sighs wistfully>

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