scubadiver007

37 Yr Old Virgin, Looks 26, Is This For Me?

191 posts in this topic

My life is a bit long and complicated but consists of shyness, bullying and depression. I don't go out very often because of it but I know should get out more. My friends are quite long distant and don't see them that often.

I don't consider myself to "masculine" enough, I am quite self conscious that I don't come across as being kissable and girls never make eye contact with me. I am reasonably ok in social situations but when it comes to sexual chemistry, it is a no go. I am baby-faced and look about ten years younger than

I am registered with some dating sites for a few years but I admit I haven't put enough effort. The fear of rejection is just too big a deal for me to try.

I have thought about punting on a few occasions but I have resisted it. I had some appointments with ICASA (sexual surrogacy) but it didn't work out because I didn't feel ready.

I am on holiday for two weeks and I am thinking about do it now. If I do this and I make contact, should I admit my age and lack of experience or would even rejection by an escort girl be too much to handle?

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Hi ,

When you write of " the fear of rejection " I think this is the biggest hurdle you have to get over. You will certainly not be rejected by WGs . You probably fall into the age group that they prefer, and looking ten years younger is a bonus in life .

Outside of punting , you have to just keep getting the knockbacks and you get used to them . I used to have friends who would try to pick up as many as 6 to 10 girls in a day . They keep trying based on the idea that the next one will be the one they pull.

Post in your location and you will get some good recommendations on here for quality escorts. Good luck . Don't leave it any longer.

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My life is a bit long and complicated but consists of shyness, bullying and depression. I don't go out very often because of it but I know should get out more. My friends are quite long distant and don't see them that often.

I don't consider myself to "masculine" enough, I am quite self conscious that I don't come across as being kissable and girls never make eye contact with me. I am reasonably ok in social situations but when it comes to sexual chemistry, it is a no go. I am baby-faced and look about ten years younger than

I am registered with some dating sites for a few years but I admit I haven't put enough effort. The fear of rejection is just too big a deal for me to try.

I have thought about punting on a few occasions but I have resisted it. I had some appointments with ICASA (sexual surrogacy) but it didn't work out because I didn't feel ready.

I am on holiday for two weeks and I am thinking about do it now. If I do this and I make contact, should I admit my age and lack of experience or would even rejection by an escort girl be too much to handle?

My best advice is to locate an experienced Indie who may well be used to punting with inexperienced punters, going on WGs posts about this on here over the years i very much doubt you would be rejected just for being inexperienced.

You could post a thread up on the Information Board asking for recommendations about such Indies including the area you would be punting in and what kind of women you like, small, large, young, older etc. Good luck. :)

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I agree with worldpunter and smiths. Life is too short for regrets. If you feel you don't have enough confidence to handle rejection in a civvie pick up, punting is a real option.

One note of caution though. You mention trying it whilst "on holiday". Imho, the advisability of this depends on where you are going. Personally, I think you'd be best selecting a mature and experienced WG who speaks excellent english and is of a similar age to yourself for your first time. This site is a great place to pick up recommendations.

Punting "blind" whilst on hols abroad and for your first time sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Welcome to the forums btw.

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I would advise you Scubadiver007 to think this through carefully.

There are quite a few threads on this subject, use the search facility and read them, it will help you a lot, I'm sure.

Ultimately this is a decision for you to make.

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I would do it if I were you, but make sure you chose the 'right girl', that's very important

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First of all I would write down a list of attributes and services you desire, ie if you want a young PSE or a more mature woman that will give you the GFE.

Post for recommendations of what you are looking for and what area in the requests for information, there are many guys on here that are into all you desire and will be able to point you in the right direction.

I would email them to start with, your age I think irrelevant as I would doubt you fall into the category of too young or too old and more 'just right'

I would say that you are inexperienced/nervous and it does concern you, the reply a lady makes will speak volumes in reassuring you that this is no problem.

I would also book a longer appointment of an hour or more, as it will give you time to relax into the meet and not feel like you are rushed.

A good WG can give you confidence, she has the skills to make you feel your best. Put any doubts out of your mind about her being paid to like you and is only in it for the money, while that might be for the most part be the truth, it most certainly does NOT mean that a WG can not genuinely enjoy her time with you.

You will not get knocked back, just be up front, honest, polite, clean and have the correct fee at the correct time and you will be welcomed with open arms (and legs)

Edited by Gemma Harris

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what is ICASA (sexual surrogacy)? what happens?

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My life is a bit long and complicated but consists of shyness, bullying and depression. I don't go out very often because of it but I know should get out more. My friends are quite long distant and don't see them that often.

I don't consider myself to "masculine" enough, I am quite self conscious that I don't come across as being kissable and girls never make eye contact with me. I am reasonably ok in social situations but when it comes to sexual chemistry, it is a no go. I am baby-faced and look about ten years younger than

I am registered with some dating sites for a few years but I admit I haven't put enough effort. The fear of rejection is just too big a deal for me to try.

I have thought about punting on a few occasions but I have resisted it. I had some appointments with ICASA (sexual surrogacy) but it didn't work out because I didn't feel ready.

I am on holiday for two weeks and I am thinking about do it now. If I do this and I make contact, should I admit my age and lack of experience or would even rejection by an escort girl be too much to handle?

No, your problem is whiney self-pity. You are 37 and look 26? That means you could pull a 20-year-old, you lucky fucker. Would you rather be 37 and look 46? Change your attitude. Look around you, there are loads of rubbish blokes with nice girls.

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also for me any way I said to my WG that I was a virgin but I lied to her about my age I just said younger than my real age.

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Scubadiver007 you should definitely see a nice escort lady. You've waited far too long; it's time for action. Once you've done it get yourself a Three Wolf Moon shirt and feel epic with yourself http://amzn.to/LiD1Xj

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I had some appointments with ICASA (sexual surrogacy) but it didn't work out because I didn't feel ready.

If you weren't ready for sexual surrogacy, why do you think you are ready to see a prostitute? If you compare a sexual surrogate to a good, experienced independent WG, there isn't that much difference except that a sexual surrogate usually works in concert with a psychotherapist who can help you deal with any shit that comes out of your head before, during or after.

On the other hand, if you feel you are ready to see a WG, why aren't you ready to go ahead with the surrogacy work? What aspect of the surrogacy work is worrying you that you feel you can avoid by seeing a prostitute?

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Man up, snap out of it, it's all in your head and its all your fault. Alternatively try CBT or something deeper if that's not enough.

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I was in a similar situation to you last year and I would say, if you do decide to go for it, it's definitely a good idea to explain your situation to the escort. As others have suggested, a nice experienced independent lady would probably be perfect and should be able to put you at ease with the situation. With more information about your location and what sort of lady you're looking for, you should hopefully get some good recommendations. This is what I did and it worked out perfectly for me.

I'm not sure what 'sexual surrogacy is' though, so brinjer's post about it might be important to think about.

It's easy for me to sit and say "yeah, go for it!" - but obviously I don't know anything about you really. What I would say is that - if still being a virgin is constantly playing with your mind, making you feel low etc. then I think it's a good idea to give it a go. Once you have it out of the way, you can stop worrying about it and get on with things. After my first punt, I told a friend of a friend (after a few too many drinks!) and discovered that he was in the same boat as me - 26 and still a virgin. But for him, it wasn't that big of a deal - he said he wouldn't want to visit an escort and would prefer to wait for it to happen naturally. In his case, punting probably wouldn't be right for him at the moment.

One other thing I'd say, if by 'on holiday' for 2 weeks, you just mean you have time off work, don't feel like you have to rush and get everything organised and done in those 2 weeks. Take your time, find the right girl and be prepared - you'll have other chances if you don't manage to fit the punt in the 2 weeks.

Oh and ignore some of the less constructive posts in the thread if you can!

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Scuba, you're an intriguing challenge for the right professional lady, so remember that she may well enjoy meeting you.

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Some good advice posted . On a lighter note , after you have booked the lady , preformed well, you may want to change your Nik to Muffdiver007 . Leave the WS untill you get a bit more experience :cool:

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imo, you WILL gain confidence from your 1st time if you find a good wg. However, it's what you do with that confidence that matters. It may infact be the opposite of what you want and make you more socially awkward to the point you'll rely on these women.

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Don't make it a challenge to lose your virginity - i.e. penetration. Just pay to be with a girl for an hour. She'll play with you intimately... which will feel nice and may or may not lead to penetrative sex.

You could also pay simply to have an experienced girl's company ( one whose native language is English!),, an older WG maybe, to give you lessons/advice/tips on how to approach girls, behave around them and chat them up. She could help you with what girls like or turn them off about a man, etc.

As for failing to get eye contact, well, I've seen myself having a large amount of shopping at the checkout and the girl will not even look at me once during the whole checkout process of nearly 10 minutes, not even when giving me my change, no matter how friendly I am to her. Some women can be cold, unfriendly bitches.... but thank God, others are far nicer!

Edited by Alwayshoping

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Mate, do it some where reputable where you feel comfortable, this site has some great reviews. You can give a girl a call and chat, or maybe she'll even be on this board and you can see if you feel comfortable enough to make an appointment. I was worried but i popped into a local parlour, i sat there and had a drink and chat with the girls, really relaxed me and made me see they're not the awful, toothless, dirty cliches you see on tv.

I suffer from anxiety and have had nasty bouts of depression, I've always felt the underdog - like you i think, I know it's not really what you asked but have you tried to change this? - I'm lifting weights 3 x a week, knowing you're bigger and stronger than other guys might really help your outlook and confidence as you look more "alpha", you don't need to go to a gym, or spend a fortune on products or equipment. Try it, it's a bunch better than sitting infront of your PC/tv night after night. :)

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You are a prime case for paid sex.

With massive effort - therapy perhaps - joining clubs and going out every night for years - you might eventually find someone who will accept you. But that someone is going to be plain at best - and most likely worse. And it's unlikely that marrying that type of woman - is going to be worth a life committment.

So if I were you I would find some great quality paid sex - where you can enjoy the illusion of having a beautiful girlfriend. And enjoy being free and single for the rest of your life. If you were 20 I would say different. But at 37 no woman has taken you on and that says a lot. I know two beautiful girls who don't charge too much and they ae so lovely it would be worth spending time with them even if only to sit on your knee and chat at first. PM me if you need their details - one is in east anglia - the other in St Albans.

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You are a prime case for paid sex.

With massive effort - therapy perhaps - joining clubs and going out every night for years - you might eventually find someone who will accept you. But that someone is going to be plain at best - and most likely worse. And it's unlikely that marrying that type of woman - is going to be worth a life committment.

That's so negative, you make him sound the most awful person out there. Odds are he's an "average" person that just hasn't tried much with ladies - we all know anyone can get a pretty woman, or at least an average one with enough effort. It's that attitude that destroys peoples confidence.

Edited by map1984

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Some of the replies here are frankly shocking. They display an utter lack of understanding and frankly an utter lack of humanity.

I don't think that at 37 you are basically a "waste of space" if you are not married or have found a women (or man). I don't think someone with self esteeem issues is full of "whiney self-pity." or should "snap out of it" nor do I feel qualified to give anyone advice they should seek therapy. It does make me think the world is full of people who just have a lack of emotional understanding.

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That's so negative, you make him sound the most awful person out there. Odds are he's an "average" person that just hasn't tried much with ladies - we all know anyone can get a pretty woman, or at least an average one with enough effort. It's that attitude that destroys peoples confidence.

No it's just realistic. Anyway he doesn't have any confidence to destroy.

Anyone can get a pretty woman - that keeps trying - I agree. But he has never tried and shows no signs of it.

Might as well face your reality and get some action from somewhere.

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Some of the replies here are frankly shocking. They display an utter lack of understanding and frankly an utter lack of humanity.

I don't think that at 37 you are basically a "waste of space" if you are not married or have found a women (or man). I don't think someone with self esteeem issues is full of "whiney self-pity." or should "snap out of it" nor do I feel qualified to give anyone advice they should seek therapy. It does make me think the world is full of people who just have a lack of emotional understanding.

37 and still a virgin - therapy might be worth a try - but most likely a waste of money.

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I suffer from anxiety and have had nasty bouts of depression, I've always felt the underdog - like you i think, I know it's not really what you asked but have you tried to change this? - I'm lifting weights 3 x a week, knowing you're bigger and stronger than other guys might really help your outlook and confidence as you look more "alpha", you don't need to go to a gym, or spend a fortune on products or equipment. Try it, it's a bunch better than sitting infront of your PC/tv night after night. :)

I'm socially anxious and ugly as sin facially, my success with women has been minimal, to make up for my unaesthetic face and to try and raise my self esteem I took up weight training.

I'v been training with weights for around 4 years now.

5 nights a week I'm lifting like a madman, eating a high protein/high calorie diet and Iv run a few steroid cycles.

I'm as strong as an ox and have the body to match, but you know what? It hasn't made a single bit of difference, I still can't get laid without paying for it, my self esteem is just as low as it ever was and I now have some sort of body dismorphia issue, sometimes I look in the mirror and I still see a skinny pathetic weed, if anything I'm more critical of my body now than I was before I started training.

I'm glad it has helped you though and it may be good advice for the OP.

If nothing else, it destracts my mind and gives me something positive to focus on, which helps loads with the bouts of minor depression that I suffer with, but it is far from the silver bullet that would solve all my problems which I thought it would be when I first started.

Edited by SouthWalesPunter

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