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cumandgo

Reverse Domination -- well not really ........

15 posts in this topic

there are some threads on domination but those that I have read do not deal with my point. I have never experienced a domination session but having always thought it might be interesting, I recently did a bit of research. I am going to " generalise " as otherwise its nearly impossible to get a point or view across.

apparently, most serious Doms exclude the touching of their private parts, therefore while the service is said to be "erotic" the sensual or touching intreaction normally associated with eroticism are missing, other than maybe a bit of foot worship and the like. the concentration appears to me to be on the humiliation, torture, pain and control of the submissive male, which is fine and in line with the theme of domination but somewhat confusingly, I feel, the aim of the session is mainly for the sexual gratification and relief of the submissive male only. this ,I find to be very disappointing and not in the true spirit of what I associate with sexual or erotic domination.

I know that there is not a large market, for a whole range of reasons, for male heterosexual escorts.-- but there is a market however small. I genuinely dont know in that market if there are any domination services offered by male doms to female submissives but if there are ,my guess is that the sexual gratification of the male dom would be a very significant factor in that service.

in the same way ,as an integral part of the domination session, ideally as a submissive male , I [ yes for my own sexual gratification as well ] would want to be " forced or obliged " to perform acts,[ i.e. ro, rimming, penile penetration, fingering, massaging, receiving her ws etc etc ] for the real sexual pleasure of my overbearing, dictatorial, selfish Dom !

some of the contributors here have said,and inho quite rightly, that whilst domination is offered by many escorts as part of their general services, really to be a proper and convincing dominatrix the lady has to specialise in this area. I think there would be a large and lucrative market for these expanded domination services , if the right Doms exist.

I would be interested in hearing the views of both the ladies and the guys here.

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The fine art within a Dom/sub relationship cannot be made to order in a single session, it's either happened upon at an event or party.. or cultivated over a little more time... Thus in the kind of sessions you speak of, it can only be about control and deeds.

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The fine art within a Dom/sub relationship cannot be made to order in a single session, it's either happened upon at an event or party.. or cultivated over a little more time... Thus in the kind of sessions you speak of, it can only be about control and deeds.

lilly-- presumably a dom finds herself regularly and genuinely in the "dom erotic zone" ? providing the sub is a reasonably attractive male , one would have thought the dom should not find it too difficult to expand the session to include her sexual gratification by her male sub.?

I have no experience of "events and parties " and maybe you could expand on the effects of these as opposed to sessions regarding the context of this subject. pls pm me if you like.

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but if there are ,my guess is that the sexual gratification of the male dom would be a very significant factor in that service.

Speaking as a male, I tend to agree. If I were a male dom providing services to sub ladies, I'm sure the goal would be my complete sexual gratification.

I guess that either women are wired up differently or that professional doms are different to the amateur ones.

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lilly-- presumably a dom finds herself regularly and genuinely in the "dom erotic zone" ? providing the sub is a reasonably attractive male , one would have thought the dom should not find it too difficult to expand the session to include her sexual gratification by her male sub.?

I have no experience of "events and parties " and maybe you could expand on the effects of these as opposed to sessions regarding the context of this subject. pls pm me if you like.

To have a go at an all encompassing answer to your questions, the answer is probably a mix of, 'He's not worthy' and 'Her kick goes beyond her own physical gratification'.

While you still think a Dom would be 'tempted' to have sex with you on a punt... I'd say you've not grasped the mentality behind the role/lifestyle. Read my tag line, I know it's re S&M, but the willingness is there to be understood. Also consider.. there's Dom's who command it and there's Doms who just are. I like the latter.

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There are dommes who specialise in this type of service. The most well known are the girls at the London Retreat.

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But then again you are a horny male. Why have sex if you can get away with just beating someone for higher fee that the norm. You will note that the more specialist the services the uglier the provider.

ok --I can go along with that if one holds the view that the provider of the erotic / sexual services does not want and does not get any sexual gratification for herself. I believe from reading the posts on this site that some escorts do experience sexual gratification, to varying degress, on some of their dates. the client hopes that this occurs during his liason and the conundrum is whether or not the lady's positive responses are true or false.

if by booking a real Dom ,the client should automatically know that their is no and can be no erotic interaction whatsover between the two then , for me , that puts a different light on things . then are we not really into pure S+M ? presonally, I cant see the enjoyment of having pain or control inflicted on me without any there being any hope of an erotic response from the Dom. but, each to their own.

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To have a go at an all encompassing answer to your questions, the answer is probably a mix of, 'He's not worthy' and 'Her kick goes beyond her own physical gratification'.

While you still think a Dom would be 'tempted' to have sex with you on a punt... I'd say you've not grasped the mentality behind the role/lifestyle. Read my tag line, I know it's re S&M, but the willingness is there to be understood. Also consider.. there's Dom's who command it and there's Doms who just are. I like the latter.

lilly-- being inexperienced in this area, it is not easy for me to fully grasp the points you make-- I think there is a lot of reading between the lines.

you use the word "tempted ". generally speaking men and women are supposed to be physically attracted to each other. if that is the case, why would it not be reasonable to assume that a Dominatrix might " demand " sexual gratification from her sub ? or is it that the females generally find submissive males sexually repulsive ?

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the client should automatically know that their is no and can be no erotic interaction whatsover between the two then , for me , that puts a different light on things . then are we not really into pure S+M ?

Wrong, Cumandgo, then you ARE into pure S&M, where the intended outcome is not the conventional erotic one.

You really have to put a stop to your armchair deliberations, decide what it is you are looking for, what combination of experiences you want, and be assured that there is someone out there who will help you realise it. Have you tried the UK-Mistresses forum, its not dissimilar to this one, its full of information and guidance for the newcomer. & dont ever believe the armchair myth that all specialist Doms are ugly, its just not true.

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There are good providers of BDSM and they are able to create an atmosphere where one can experience intense erotic pleasure without the need for intercourse. QUOTE]

I enjoy the "advanced S & M scene" and most session end in hand relief.

However never underestimate the sexual pleasure that the mistress gets from the scene and several have admitted to being quite wet after a session. Not through any touching on my part I should make clear.

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I enjoy the "advanced S & M scene" and most session end in hand relief.

However never underestimate the sexual pleasure that the mistress gets from the scene and several have admitted to being quite wet after a session. Not through any touching on my part I should make clear.

hmmmm-- reading between the lines of lillys posts, I think she would be surprised if the session produced such a strong sexual response in the Dom. if you are correct and if regularly the dom is so sexually aroused, then why is it also not likely, in those circumstances, that the dom will not want her sub to further satisfy that arousal by the touching of her " private parts " [ i use this term ,as i saw a dom use it in her post ]by the subs tongue, finger, penis etc ? this would seem a natural foolow on , in the scenario painted by you.

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When I am in DOM mode its not all about my sexual satisfaction I also get a kick from making my "slave" cum over and over again and tease her like crazy with-holding her orgasms too. The English Mansion seems to be run by a woman who uses her slaves for her very real sexual satisfaction.

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Cumandgo - I wrote 'Her kick goes beyond her own physical gratification' to very much mean the pleasure doesn't need to be satisfied by you performing a physical act upon her.. it's not that kind of pleasure.

With the more experienced erotic pleasuring guys my style of massage becomes like an erotic domination. I completely enjoy, get a thrill, a buzz, wet even from whatever I'm doing to the fella and the state I get him in... but I have no wish whatsoever for him to satisfy me. There is no need to, I'm not in that place, I have no urge, no itch that needs scratching... He has his ride, I have mine.

You need to experience it rather than try to imagine it, your mind will only go so far in imagining.

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I believe that for most men sexual contact is an important part of a mild domination session.

For most men, maybe yes.

If a Dominatrix really wants to satisfy her slave then she should allow a measure of contact.

What happened to 'I have to be good and earn it... but even then, will she let me ?!'

And as to my fallacy :D I thought we were trying to explain to Cumandgo why a Dom doesn't always look for sexual satisfaction ;):)

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Personally I am in my private life sub but lately and through the development of my Domination sessions in work I have been switching which is great.

I allow sexual contact during dom session and believe that the whole thing should be on a very psychological level while being physically erotic. I like to speak to a sub/slave for a while before starting and have started to build really good sub/dom relationships with a few regs who see me for this service.

I agree with Lilly that it is something which has to develop - it's not a half hour thing.

I also hate how some "Dommes" try to dictate how others work - "she's not a trained domme" "she doesn't know what she's doing" etc.

Is there a training school? If there is I'd say it's this industry in general and being in it for a few years you develop the facets which come naturally to you. And hey if clients are coming back to you over and over what does it matter what Mistress Whoever says anyway.

Holly

xx

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