oldjack

Help Please - Not Cumming

19 posts in this topic

I fully realise that I am most likely the "oldest swinger in town". However I still adore the company of W.G.'s. A few months ago I had to have prostrate surgery to cure an urge to wee too frequently. Since then I have had considerable problems "cumming" despite the fact that I always have 1 hour appointments. Viagra doesn't seem to help although it does ensure a good erection. Does anyone else have or had the same problem? If so could they advise as to what to do, i.e. tablets etc? Would be glad of assistance - thanks.

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I do know that Viagra can actually prevent (or at least reduce the likelihood of) ejaculation, so maybe it's contributing to your issue rather than helping.

If I were you I'd go back to my doctor. Whilst there are undoubtedly doctors on this forum, I don't imagine any of them would be comfortable commenting in an official capacity.

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In my experience viagra can sometimes delay / prevent "cumming". I have found that I think I am about to cum, want to come but don't cum.

This happens maybe one in ten goes but I am in my 40's. I take viagra for two reasons, nothing like a condom to turn mr hard on into mr floppy and I tend to punt at the more expensive end of the market so would hate to blow £500 on a couple of hours and not be able to get it up!

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I think you need to Google "prostatectomy", and then talk to your GP. As I understand it, after having your prostate removed, you can't come, ever again, although you live on. Many people when offered the choice of death or no more ejaculation, see the question as quite easy to answer! With the aid of chemicals and an attractive and receptive female, one can, I understand, still have some degree of enjoyable sex!

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I fully realise that I am most likely the "oldest swinger in town". However I still adore the company of W.G.'s. A few months ago I had to have prostrate surgery to cure an urge to wee too frequently. Since then I have had considerable problems "cumming" despite the fact that I always have 1 hour appointments. Viagra doesn't seem to help although it does ensure a good erection. Does anyone else have or had the same problem? If so could they advise as to what to do, i.e. tablets etc? Would be glad of assistance - thanks.

Sorry to hear about this Jack but i cant help beyond advising you to go and see your GP in the first instance. I wish you all the best. :)

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Sorry to hear about this Jack but i cant help beyond advising you to go and see your GP in the first instance. I wish you all the best. :)

My hubby has prostrate problems also, he will pop a V or a C at times as an aid.

He can last for ever and ever and ever and ever...........(hurry up man ;) )

Cumming is not the be all and end all, but is jolly good no doubt to achieve during a meeting.

Smiths is so correct.

Go have a natter with your Doctor.

The Doctors have heard it all before, and will be able to advise you so well.

All the best.

Lucy :)

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If I don't use V then there's a ~30% chance I can't even get hard for a punt, if I take one I get hard and can always come once. Then I can always get hard again - enough to enjoy oral and penetration, but have almost never come a second time even in a 90 minute meeting.

So when using V I have adapted now to assume I'll enjoy everything on offer and then come once near the end of the punt, with the remaining time for relaxation and extra oral etc but without expecting to come.

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If I don't use V then there's a ~30% chance I can't even get hard for a punt, if I take one I get hard and can always come once. Then I can always get hard again - enough to enjoy oral and penetration, but have almost never come a second time even in a 90 minute meeting.

So when using V I have adapted now to assume I'll enjoy everything on offer and then come once near the end of the punt, with the remaining time for relaxation and extra oral etc but without expecting to come.

Scares me people talking of using Viagra. Erectile problems often have a cause which may need fixing. I think people should see their GP before using drugs like this so:-

a) the underlying problem can be investigated

B) to ensure you are fit & well enough to cope with the drug.

(apologies to posters above if you have done this)

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I think people should see their GP before using drugs like this

I fully concur that a qualified person should be consulted before considering this. Doesn't have to be a GP, though. major Tesco and Lloyds pharmacies have trained staff that will do a consultation and health check. But, yes, in my opinion self-prescribing and buying over the net is crazy.

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I am no longer obsessed by the orgasm per se. ‘Tis often better to travel hopefully than to arrive in my experience!

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I can only suggest using a vibrator to stimulate your clit while being aroused by an image or a woman that really turns you on. Best vibe to use is the Wahl mains unit, I can send you a pic of it. And don't use viagra. Maybe see a girl with viagra and wait 24 hours then use the vibe.

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Old Jack

Sorry to hear about your problem which I share. I agree with our fellow posters who suggest referral to your GP. However I am surprised that the medics did not advise you of this not uncommon result of prostate surgery. It is as if any male over 50 should have no need to indulge in sex for the rest of their lives. The matter is even worse in the USA where of course they pay for health care. One forum I have read has identified the lack of explanation of the effects of prostate surgery as a major issue.One poster even celebrated in print when his surgeon died as a result of drowning and saw this as retribution for depriving him of the ability to cum during sex !

Before you visit your GP it may be good to identify where the problem is. You say you cannot cum. Can you get an erection ? If so viagra / cialis will not help. They can assist with getting an erection but will not ( and in the case of V may delay cuming). You may have my problem- retrograde ejaculation. Here the sperm and fluid from the prostate go into the bladder and are expelled but when you next pee. The surgery has destroyed the complex two way valve which determines whether you urinate or ejaculate. You 'cum' but do not ejaculate. The sensation is far less- you loose the pent up feeling of the ejaculate passing through the urethra and being expelled with some force through the penis. There is no cure but as another poster indicated at least you are alive. Urinary retention- the result of not having the op can damage the kidneys and this can be fatal.

I have given up seeing WG's since the pleasure has gone and explaining why the condom is empty when I have exclaimed that I have cum causes too many questions from the ladies involved. I am sure there are other ways to enjoy yourself. Sorry to let you down but do not expect good news from the GP however. Good luck !

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I should have added that my consultant was very up front with explaining the consequences of the surgery to me. I knew what I was letting myself in for, Since I was commuting daily to London , a round trip of 100 miles wearing a bladder catheter which kept coming apart and causing great embarrassment in the office I had no choice.

Edited by Lestrade

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You don't need an erection if you use a Wahl on your clit so you don't need to use viagra which will interfere with your orgasm anyway.

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Not particularly helpful, but I am amazed at the number of people with lying down problems.

*runs away*

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You don't need an erection if you use a Wahl on your clit so you don't need to use viagra which will interfere with your orgasm anyway.

Am I being particularly dense, or is there something wrong here? Men get (if lucky) erections, but don't (surely?) have clits? So I don't need an erection, if I use a Wahl (= choice or vote) on my clit? Or are you saying that a lady doesn't need an erect prick (with a man attached behind it) to experience an orgasm, if she uses a mains vibrator?

Hmmmm! I think I am getting muddled now..

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Old Jack

Sorry to hear about your problem which I share. I agree with our fellow posters who suggest referral to your GP. However I am surprised that the medics did not advise you of this not uncommon result of prostate surgery. It is as if any male over 50 should have no need to indulge in sex for the rest of their lives. The matter is even worse in the USA where of course they pay for health care. One forum I have read has identified the lack of explanation of the effects of prostate surgery as a major issue.One poster even celebrated in print when his surgeon died as a result of drowning and saw this as retribution for depriving him of the ability to cum during sex !

Before you visit your GP it may be good to identify where the problem is. You say you cannot cum. Can you get an erection ? If so viagra / cialis will not help. They can assist with getting an erection but will not ( and in the case of V may delay cuming). You may have my problem- retrograde ejaculation. Here the sperm and fluid from the prostate go into the bladder and are expelled but when you next pee. The surgery has destroyed the complex two way valve which determines whether you urinate or ejaculate. You 'cum' but do not ejaculate. The sensation is far less- you loose the pent up feeling of the ejaculate passing through the urethra and being expelled with some force through the penis. There is no cure but as another poster indicated at least you are alive. Urinary retention- the result of not having the op can damage the kidneys and this can be fatal.

I have given up seeing WG's since the pleasure has gone and explaining why the condom is empty when I have exclaimed that I have cum causes too many questions from the ladies involved. I am sure there are other ways to enjoy yourself. Sorry to let you down but do not expect good news from the GP however. Good luck !

I too have just had prostate surgery and, as was explained to me by the urologist, now suffer from retrgrade ejaculation. My question now is: do I tell the WG of my problem or, let find out the hard (sorry about the pun) way, that despite her best manipulative skills she is not going to get me to produce any cum?

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