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pollyp23

Tongue In Cheek, So Don't Rise To It: Porn Teaching Escorts How To Behave!

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Thank God for Porn, the universal media that has taught ladies all around the World how to perform all manner of sexual acts to us mens pleasure!

Its taught Ladies how to give head, how to deep throat, how to do anal, DP, snowball and all manner of wholly natural acts!

Tongue in cheek, so don't flame me please!

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Had to laugh at 'taught us how to give head'.

Years ago, an aquaintance of mine was dating a slightly naive good catholic girl, who'd been told there was some graffitti about her in the gent's toilet's at college.

She asked me to go see, and tell her what had been written about her, something I reluctantly did. I told her it said 'xxxxxxx gives great head', and she looked baffled and asked me what it meant. Seriously!

If I'd had the nerve, and real-life was like porn, there would have been a scene immediately after where I would have led the quizzical girl to a small room and showed her <_<

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Guys too though.

Nothing is more natural than whipping a condom off your cock and spraying a load of crotch cream all over a woman's face like she was in a pastry shop. Heck, they're so grateful for it, that they can't stop umming and aaaahing in appreciation.

Edited by KSG

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...

Its taught Ladies ..., how to deep throat, how to do anal, ... and all manner of wholly natural acts!

The Economist, no less (no don't ask for the link!) ran a small story about how younger porn "actresses" were not currently doing atall well, whereas a particular, named, lady of a certain age was still doing comfortably, thank you. So I googled her, and bought, on-line, an instructional video, starting with anatomical models and cut-aways, and going on to a practical on anal! Fascinating, but not very erotic.

Jolyon will probably tell us that for a WG the purchase of such a movie would be tax allowable...

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Since I started watching porn I have become an insatiable sex maniac. I find myself seducing every man who comes my way. Pizza Hut won't deliver any more because I keep detaining their drivers for long bouts of noisy sex. All my neighbours wives hate me because every time they send their husbands round for a cup of sugar I seduce them. Well I can't help it if they ogle my tits in the teeny weeny little shorts and boob tubes I do my housework in! I just can't resist them when they get their huge veiny cocks out!

I have also been banned from the local swimming pool, Tescos and the library and noone will let me babysit their teenage sons or elderly fathers any more. It's a curse. I wish I had never started watching porn.

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If I learned anything from porn when I was growing up, its that the only guys worth fucking are pug ugly and have massive cocks.

There is no man alive who has anything smaller than 9 inches and if they do, we should be madly disappointed. Nobody ever kisses when they have sex, every repair man who comes to your house is totally up for it, and if you don't have tits that look like footballs stuck to a lolly stick you are not sexy.

Your girlfriends mum is just as sexy as she is, and just as horny as well. Your best friends mum is a sex goddess and hasn't had a good fuck in years. All women LOVE facials.

Men and women ALWAYS cum at the same time. All women cum from penetrative sex and if you dont you are some kind of bloody wierdo. Forty year old guys have no trouble scoring with 18 year olds with big tits. Forty year old women have the bodies of 18 year olds with big tits. Sex is over as soon as the guy cums. Nurses love to suck their patients cocks. All librarians and secretaries wearing glasses are absolutely mad for it.

Please also remember that it is necessary to constantly remind a woman to 'suck it' whilst she is already fellating your cock.

Honestly, doesn't everybody know this?

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The thing I have found really useful from porn is that it has de-mystified the female orgasm. I realise now all that is required to have her screaming in ecstasy is ram my finger in and out of her pussy really fast, whilst at the same time using spit as a lubricant. Definitely will try that one on my net punt. Any of you ladies up for it? Go on, you know you'll love it!

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There are different types of pornography. Pornography that is mass produced on the west coast of America doesn't teach people anything they need to know and I don't enjoy it. I'm glad that they're finding it difficult to finance themselves because of the internet.

People filming themselves having sex and putting it online, however, is something people can learn from and it's something I find very arousing.

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You'd be surprised (well the girls here won't be!) how many young men seem to think sex is like a porn film!

Him: OK, so I want deep throat whilst I finger your arse hole, then am gonna suck your tits then fuck you, can we do, missionary, the doggy then cowgirl then standing up and then I'm going to pull out and come on your face'

Me: All in 15 minutes?!?

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Porn gave the world so so much....

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If I learned anything from porn when I was growing up, its that the only guys worth fucking are pug ugly and have massive cocks.

Great, I'm half way there then.

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Great, I'm half way there then.

Which half :o:D:P

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I believe porn is a major reason why I find going to parlours or escorts not as enjoyable as they should be.

When I was young, it was a case of someone stealing a porn mag from a shop by hiding it inside another normal mag; a friend finding his father's porn video or pages scattered around a local park.

Nowadays, there's just too much of it and 99.9% of it does absolutely nothing for me. I've no interest in most US porn, which in my opinion is aimed at men who haven't come out of the closet yet as they focus solely on the man and his pleasure. Don't understand why a man wants to watch another man cum. I want to focus on the woman and not 90% of the time on a penis.

I do like some more natural things such as some of these home videos that appear and the Abby Winters sort of thing as these tend to be real or as close as you can get. Learned a few things from these which do sometimes work if the girl is responsive and not going through the motions.

I know a few girls and from modern porn, they all have the belief that for boys they must be shaved, must give blow jobs, instantly get wet at the sight of an erection and never lose wetness, will cum easily with a couple of minutes of hard thrusting etc...........and then half the time, it doesn't turn out to be that wonderful experience they expected (the C4 shows, "Joy Of Teen SEx"? did something about this and most of the girls believed that was exactly what boys expected of them and was perfectly normal.

Some escorts/parlour girls I've been with obviously follow porn movies to the letter by doing the A to Z of the script. It puts me right off when they do a BJ, then a certain position, change to another, BJ, "Come on Baby / Cum For Me Baby" etc all with the fake moans that are sometimes really OTT.

Things like spitting absolutely turn me off - I just can't watch a film with that in it as it just seems gross to me. The girl looking uncomfortable puts me right as well - seen a few where she looks as though she's in pain and/or would rather be anywhere else in the world but needs the $200 she's getting paid to be degraded.

Fingers and cocks up a bottom and then in a mouth or pussy are completely turn-offs as well - pretty much any touching of my "chocolate Starfish" will cause me to abruptly pull away. I associate that with homosexuality and don't really want to be going into somewhere shit comes out of regardless of how plesurable porn makes anal look for men and women alike.

From various posts on these forums, it does seem that quite a few women don't know how to give head even with porn to watch. Too much saliva, teeth usage, not enough hand action etc.

It may give ideas of things to do but at the end of the day, experimentation and learning about the other person's body is key.

I must admit a couple of times I've gently slapped a girl's bottom whilst doing her doggy ala porn movie style just to see a response.

I have cum on a girl's breasts once after she asked me to and found that quite erotic in the end. Took a bit of effort to do so - not a couple of strokes like in movies.

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The Economist, no less (no don't ask for the link!) ran a small story about how younger porn "actresses" were not currently doing atall well, whereas a particular, named, lady of a certain age was still doing comfortably, thank you. So I googled her, and bought, on-line, an instructional video, starting with anatomical models and cut-aways, and going on to a practical on anal! Fascinating, but not very erotic.

Jolyon will probably tell us that for a WG the purchase of such a movie would be tax allowable...

Link please?!! Ladies name?

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Nina Hartley is a goddess. A goddess.

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If I learned anything from porn when I was growing up, its that the only guys worth fucking are pug ugly and have massive cocks.

There is no man alive who has anything smaller than 9 inches and if they do, we should be madly disappointed. Nobody ever kisses when they have sex, every repair man who comes to your house is totally up for it, and if you don't have tits that look like footballs stuck to a lolly stick you are not sexy.

Your girlfriends mum is just as sexy as she is, and just as horny as well. Your best friends mum is a sex goddess and hasn't had a good fuck in years. All women LOVE facials.

Men and women ALWAYS cum at the same time. All women cum from penetrative sex and if you dont you are some kind of bloody wierdo. Forty year old guys have no trouble scoring with 18 year olds with big tits. Forty year old women have the bodies of 18 year olds with big tits. Sex is over as soon as the guy cums. Nurses love to suck their patients cocks. All librarians and secretaries wearing glasses are absolutely mad for it.

Please also remember that it is necessary to constantly remind a woman to 'suck it' whilst she is already fellating your cock.

Honestly, doesn't everybody know this?

Yep. LS. Its all well known porn flicks clich├ęs. Apart of this one: "Sex is over as soon as the guy cums". This one does not apply to the "porn" only. ;-)

You forgot another well known one: " Women absolutely loved when guys slapping her face with his dick, and more often with a semi hard on or even with a complete floppy. Never understood what all this about.

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You'd be surprised (well the girls here won't be!) how many young men seem to think sex is like a porn film!

Him: OK, so I want deep throat whilst I finger your arse hole, then am gonna suck your tits then fuck you, can we do, missionary, the doggy then cowgirl then standing up and then I'm going to pull out and come on your face'

Me: All in 15 minutes?!?

Porn's becoming a serious problem for younger guys. It seems that whilst it was ok for those of us brought up on illicit magazines/vhs tapes bought from dodgy newsagents, the 24x7 availability of free streaming online porn seems to be too much for guys who are first exposed to it in their formative years. A increasing number of them are starting to develop erectile dysfunction: :o

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Porn's becoming a serious problem for younger guys. It seems that whilst it was ok for those of us brought up on illicit magazines/vhs tapes bought from dodgy newsagents, the 24x7 availability of free streaming online porn seems to be too much for guys who are first exposed to it in their formative years. A increasing number of them are starting to develop erectile dysfunction: :o

Well, I started this thread as a bit of a laugh.

It seems, however, that, this exposure to porn through the internet is becoming an issue, whatever an issue is.

Thanks for the responses, tongue in cheek or not.

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Some humourous responses above and as Pollyp says he started this thread as a laugh, but in all seriousness, none of us should expect porn to teach us anything ..... and certainly porn doesn't teach men anything about female sexuality. The reason is cos porn is fantasy. It presents us with situations which don't happen in real life. The scenes of the grandfather getting off with the teen babysitter, or of mother & daughter 3-sums, or the hottie student coming on to her college tutor are all entertaining to watch (some of the time ..... often these scenes become repetitive and cliched :mellow: ) but it don't teach us anything about how to have good sex.

Porn is fantasy, and as long as we see it in this light and use it for visual entertainment or wank fodder then thats fine. Where it goes wrong is when men (and boys) mix up reality / fantasy and use porn as some kinda instruction manual or as an insight of what women supposedly want

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Some humourous responses above and as Pollyp says he started this thread as a laugh, but in all seriousness, none of us should expect porn to teach us anything ..... and certainly porn doesn't teach men anything about female sexuality. The reason is cos porn is fantasy. It presents us with situations which don't happen in real life. The scenes of the grandfather getting off with the teen babysitter, or of mother & daughter 3-sums, or the hottie student coming on to her college tutor are all entertaining to watch (some of the time ..... often these scenes become repetitive and cliched :mellow: ) but it don't teach us anything about how to have good sex.

Porn is fantasy, and as long as we see it in this light and use it for visual entertainment or wank fodder then thats fine. Where it goes wrong is when men (and boys) mix up reality / fantasy and use porn as some kinda instruction manual or as an insight of what women supposedly want

Same as 'shoot em up and thump them' and car video games/ films?

They teach kids that it is OK to knick a car, drive at 100 mph down the high street and then to thump someone in the face and it will all work out fine.

I often wonder what the aliens who watch our TV think about our society. With porn, they must see a very biased view of how we make babies?

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Some humourous responses above and as Pollyp says he started this thread as a laugh, but in all seriousness, none of us should expect porn to teach us anything ..... and certainly porn doesn't teach men anything about female sexuality. The reason is cos porn is fantasy. It presents us with situations which don't happen in real life. The scenes of the grandfather getting off with the teen babysitter, or of mother & daughter 3-sums, or the hottie student coming on to her college tutor are all entertaining to watch (some of the time ..... often these scenes become repetitive and cliched :mellow: ) but it don't teach us anything about how to have good sex.

Porn is fantasy, and as long as we see it in this light and use it for visual entertainment or wank fodder then thats fine. Where it goes wrong is when men (and boys) mix up reality / fantasy and use porn as some kinda instruction manual or as an insight of what women supposedly want

Exactly..

Unfortunately a lot of youngsters are seeing porn as being the real way/normal (there are even adult males that do!) and I know that many schools are now having to emphasize when teaching sex education that it is a fantasy, not real life and that real sex is all about respect.

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Exactly..

Unfortunately a lot of youngsters are seeing porn as being the real way/normal (there are even adult males that do!) and I know that many schools are now having to emphasize when teaching sex education that it is a fantasy, not real life and that real sex is all about respect.

I have a problem with lap dancing places as well. THey get men all aroused but don't offer relief. WHat good is that?

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I have a problem with lap dancing places as well. THey get men all aroused but don't offer relief. WHat good is that?

You obviously have watched too much porn.

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I like porn, cannot deny it, but it has to be good porn. For one thing, the girl has to be sexy and not 'wooden' in her efforts.

I don't like to see the girl looking like she is in pain when being 'done' in both holes. It puts me off and I find that I can't enjoy it in case she is in pain........... so sad I know :)

I have picked up one or two little things which I deploy when giving blow jobs, but it is mainly for my own amusement and to entertain the guy, a sort of sexy sending the porn up if you like... but the guys seem to enjoy it, and so therefore i have learned something from porn............... men are positively filthy :o

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