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Bewilderbeeste

First Contact...

23 posts in this topic

I don't know how others feel, but I really love (and also slightly dread) the moment when I pick up the phone to call a new lady or press the 'send' button. I'm not sure whether I prefer phone or email; I can compose my thoughts better via email, but it's easy for me to get too wordy. On the hand, on the phone nerves can make me sound strangulated and tense and the last thing you need at this moment is to sound a bit weird.

But I've done my research and now there is the anticipation of a new meeting and this is great. If I've emailed, it's like being a15 year old again, waiting from a reply from that beautiful girl who's probably a bit out of my league, then the dash downstairs as soon as you hear the postman, only to find bill and circulars. And when the reply does come, it sets off that trail of anticipation which culminates hopefully in a great encounter.

So ladies, are you aware of the emotional wringer you put us poor blokes through as we try to pluck up the courage to get in touch? And do you generally prefer us to call or email?

As I finish this, I'm not sure I hear too many waves of sympathy coming in my direction through the cybersphere: maybe a bit of recognition, though?

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I don't know how others feel, but I really love (and also slightly dread) the moment when I pick up the phone to call a new lady or press the 'send' button. I'm not sure whether I prefer phone or email; I can compose my thoughts better via email, but it's easy for me to get too wordy. On the hand, on the phone nerves can make me sound strangulated and tense and the last thing you need at this moment is to sound a bit weird.

But I've done my research and now there is the anticipation of a new meeting and this is great. If I've emailed, it's like being a15 year old again, waiting from a reply from that beautiful girl who's probably a bit out of my league, then the dash downstairs as soon as you hear the postman, only to find bill and circulars. And when the reply does come, it sets off that trail of anticipation which culminates hopefully in a great encounter.

So ladies, are you aware of the emotional wringer you put us poor blokes through as we try to pluck up the courage to get in touch? And do you generally prefer us to call or email?

As I finish this, I'm not sure I hear too many waves of sympathy coming in my direction through the cybersphere: maybe a bit of recognition, though?

I only phone, i have no interest in emailing. I require a phone chat with a WG immediately, as i wont know until i wake up on the day whether i want a punt or not i want to be able to just pick the phone up to a WG on my list and if happy with the chat book her, confirm, turn up, punt and go, looking for simplicity.

I dont suffer from nerves and havent for years, except before my first party when i was quaking with fear, anticipation is the word, i enjoy a quick chat on the phone, unlike an email i need to hear her voice and take it from there.

Edited by smiths

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I see what this guy is getting at, to a degree it is the excitement

What about you ladies at best you have a 3 to 4 minute converstion with somebody prior to giving them your location details and letting them into your home

I know I am an ok type of guy but I feel the ladies take the risk

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I see what this guy is getting at, to a degree it is the excitement

What about you ladies at best you have a 3 to 4 minute converstion with somebody prior to giving them your location details and letting them into your home

I know I am an ok type of guy but I feel the ladies take the risk

Its a two-way risk in my view, i dont know who will be at a newbie to mes property, she doesnt know if i am a nutter or not. I only punt at the SPs Incall premises so the way i look at it its easier for me to exit quickly if necessary than her get away from a nutter.

Its part of what a WG needs to seriously consider when thinking of and is a WG, her personal security in my opinion. Its unavoidable that its meeting complete strangers of course, she is the one doing the advertising for punters so i hope security is a top priority.

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What about you ladies at best you have a 3 to 4 minute converstion with somebody prior to giving them your location details and letting them into your home

Indeed! There are many ladies (the majority of Indies, I rather think) who won't give the final (top) line of the address until you ring, to say that you are at the post code or wherever. My query, however, is what actual protection this gives her? If I'm a TW, or even worse, a sanctimonious journalist, I can call from a mobile, and say that I'm there, and where is she, can't I? On one or two occasions I've been directed to follow an obstacle course, which I assumed, initially, allowed her to peep out of the window and see if I was carrying a chain-saw, or accompanied by a photographer, but when finally reaching my destimation, have found that there was no way she could have observed.

Anyone, from either side, any ideas?

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I was once directed to a particular level of a multi-storey car park so she could peep out of her top level window adjacent to check me out.... Good times.

I'm an emailer rather than phoner and yes I can relate to the strange feeling as you hit send.....

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Indeed! There are many ladies (the majority of Indies, I rather think) who won't give the final (top) line of the address until you ring, to say that you are at the post code or wherever. My query, however, is what actual protection this gives her? If I'm a TW, or even worse, a sanctimonious journalist, I can call from a mobile, and say that I'm there, and where is she, can't I? On one or two occasions I've been directed to follow an obstacle course, which I assumed, initially, allowed her to peep out of the window and see if I was carrying a chain-saw, or accompanied by a photographer, but when finally reaching my destimation, have found that there was no way she could have observed.

Anyone, from either side, any ideas?

It tends to filter out the TWs, it isn't foolproof though.

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I can still remember the first time I sent off an email with trembling fingers to an amazing film star sort of girl in London, not daring to really believe that she would deign to reply and take me seriously, as no real life girl would. I'm not sure I've got over it yet.

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I always insist on a phone call at some point in the proceedings and don't do long winded texting or emailing. After an initial request by email or text I reply that they need to ring me to confirm a booking. Some women don't respond to texts at all from new numbers so make sure you read her profile/website to find out what she prefers.

Here is my advice to all you callers out there. I am sure I have refused many perfectly nice men, but certain things raise my alarm bells, so if you're a nice man follow my guidelines!

1. Don't call at stupid o clock in the morning.

2. If you don't get a reply don't ring every 2 minutes for the next 3 hours. (trust me it happens, and when it does they go in my phone as 'creepy stalker') If you don't get a reply leave a nice voicemail, drop her a text (if she says she accepts texts) or call again an hour later.

3. Make sure you already know about her when you call. I get annoyed with men who ask a whole string of questions that are clear on my profile/website. Of course confirming the price and services is all good, but asking 'where are you?', 'how much is it?' 'what services do you offer?' 'what do you look like' indicates that a man doesn't really want to see *me* but is just ringing every girl on a list he has made.

4. Don't ask stupid questions such as 'are you clean?' or 'is that you in the photos?' Someone dirty or using fake pictures isn't going to say 'No, I haven't had a shower all week and I stole the photos of a thinner prettier girl' are they? The rest of us just feel offended by such questions!

5. Pleasantries. We like a man who can start a phone call off with 'Hello, I'm Fred, how are you today?' or 'Hi, I saw your website and think you look great and would like to make a booking' or similar rather than no greeting and a launch into ''Are you free?' (My answer: No I'm expensive).

6. Over elaborate descriptions of what you want are off putting too and often a sign of a man trying to get his jollies for free. If you do have quite specific requests or a scenario you want it's nice to say that you have a quite specific request for our session and do you mind if you email it as it's easier for you to type it than explain down the phone. If you do this don't keep adding to it in further emails else she will get suspicious and might think you are too much like hard work!

7. Don't mention about how well hung you are or that you Loooove oral sex and want us to come 98 times. Again indicates timewaster or egotistic idiot. If giving girl pleasure is important to you just say that. I know some girls (not me!) hate being fingered or given oral so if this important then do ask in advance, but don't witter on about how wet you're gonna get her and how much you'll make her come...

8. The girl's response to you is important. I know I sound like a bit of a harridan, but from your perspective if you follow above rules and she is disinterested, offhand or rude then that may give her an indication of how her actual service might be. If she sounds warm and friendly then you're probably onto a good thing!

9. Try and be confident and calm sounding. I appreciate nerves do get the better of some men, but sometimes nervousness can make a fella sound shifty and put me off. If it helps write yourself a list of things in advance and have it in front of you on the phone.

10. Do what she tells you do, again a pen and paper is handy if you get muddled! If she asks for a conformation call an hour before do that. Also if she gives directions write them down! I get wound up by men going round in circles and calling every two minutes saying they are lost when I know my directions are precise and clear!

Hope that helps!

PS: If you can afford her and are polite no escort is 'out of your league'!

Edited by LondonLydia

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To the OP: I think you managed it....!!

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I need to speak to the gentleman before I confirm a booking so it only elongates the process if you email first. I have no problem with emailing, especially if you have any specific requests or points you want clarified, but I still need to speak to you before the date.

I realise it can be scary ringing a lady but no where near as scary as actually turning up and doing the business. So I must say that if you sound shy/nervous on the phone, whilst I am reassuring on the phone, I will be less than convinced that you will actually show up.

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I always phone as I Think it's better for both parties to speak to each other.As for nerves of course the first couple of times can be A bit daunting but now it's OK. I just ask if its [escorts name] then give my name,and finally ask for an appointment[,subject to availability] . I don't need to ask endless questions because I always do my research.A polite straight forward approach is all that is needed.Nobody needs to be shy we are dealing with professional businesswomen who want to take our bookings.

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Phone conversations are absolutely paramount to me when booking in. I get a lot of emails which determine the bare facts but when calling the day before to confirm and get my address, I insist on a few moments on the phone so we can get some sort of rapport going. I am very outgoing anyway so normally control the conversation - but not in a 'domme' way. Just a friendly nudge that I am genuine, the place you are coming to is nice and I will look after you! It's not failed me yet! After doing this 'job' a while, I can tell the nervous ones from the fantasists pretty quick. It's all about experience really, coupled with patience x

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I realise it can be scary ringing a lady but no where near as scary as actually turning up and doing the business.

I agree with this!! Sometimes the timewasters go on about being too shy to call - but I say how will you behave when you actually meet me?? They actually need to call to make the appointment, so they can't be THAT shy???

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I get really nervous on the phone. Never really sure what to expect (i.e. she sounds nothing like I envisaged or you hear others in the background) or how to say "I want an hour or two at 2pm on Friday". Sure I come across as a bit dodgy sounding in the sense that the girl doesn't know if I'm serious or what.

I'm less nervous when I turn up for some reason. Could be due to being horny and knowing in a few minutes nervousness will be the last thing to worry about.

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I actually quite enjoy the nerves before a punt. Strangely I dont feel nervous on the phone, and I always phone to confirm services etc. Just a brief conversation will give you some insight of the person youre intending to meet.

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Hi Lydia

4. .... 'is that you in the photos?'

is not, in fact, a stupid question. Many punters will tell you that when a bait and switch becomes apparent - the switcher will often attempt to insist that her friend, the one "in the pictures" is ill today or didn't turn up. So much harder to do if you just rang an hour before and asked her :"can I check..."

Whilst I concede that most pass-off operators are unlikely to admit to using fakes when asked - there is a solid chance that the minor stress of having to lie will betray itself - and that we'll hear the hesitation or dodginess in her voice.

Both of which seem excellent reasons, to me, to ask this question, or a subtler variant of it.

You are working in a business with a relatively high rate of misrepresention to its customers. Mindful of the annoyance that you face in dealing with timewasters - surely, as one of the good gals, the onus ought to be on you to understand your prospective customer's anxieties about passing-off?

You could choose not to be insulted when they ask.

Edited by Hephaestion

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Indeed! There are many ladies (the majority of Indies, I rather think) who won't give the final (top) line of the address until you ring, to say that you are at the post code or wherever. My query, however, is what actual protection this gives her? If I'm a TW, or even worse, a sanctimonious journalist, I can call from a mobile, and say that I'm there, and where is she, can't I? On one or two occasions I've been directed to follow an obstacle course, which I assumed, initially, allowed her to peep out of the window and see if I was carrying a chain-saw, or accompanied by a photographer, but when finally reaching my destimation, have found that there was no way she could have observed.

Anyone, from either side, any ideas?

Surely thats to make sure you dont turn up an hour early and theres another punter still there? Or worse, you may turn up during the night uninvited? A new punter is an unknown quantity to a wg and It must assist her security

Happens in hotel bookings even with regs, you get the hotel but not the room number. I know to ring only 10 mins before a (arranged) meeting and get the room number.

Anyway, that was my inference but never actually told it

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Hi Lydia

is not, in fact, a stupid question. Many punters will tell you that when a bait and switch becomes apparent - the switcher will often attempt to insist that her friend, the one "in the pictures" is ill today or didn't turn up. So much harder to do if you just rang an hour before and asked her :"can I check..."

Whilst I concede that most pass-off operators are unlikely to admit to using fakes when asked - there is a solid chance that the minor stress of having to lie will betray itself - and that we'll hear the hesitation or dodginess in her voice.

Both of which seem excellent reasons, to me, to ask this question, or a subtler variant of it.

You are working in a business with a relatively high rate of misrepresention to its customers. Mindful of the annoyance that you face in dealing with timewasters - surely, as one of the good gals, the onus ought to be on you to understand your prospective customer's anxieties about passing-off?

You could choose not to be insulted when they ask.

I'm afraid I hate this question too.

I have a website, I have a profile on the purple site, I write a blog and post photos of myself on it, some of which I have taken myself with a bit of an explanation of why I've taken it (I've just bought a new top or new bra, for example). I advertise on here and several other sites and my ads have text written by me and a pic of me next to it,so they could cross reference if they wished.

Anyone who thinks the photos might be of someone else have quite clearly not bothered to do much research. They haven't read my blog and they haven't really got the measure of me at all and I wouldn't accept a booking from someone who asked that question.

I've had my photos stolen and used by other wgs for fake profiles and these have been pointed out by men who recognised them as being mine. In one case she'd used a couple of pics of me and a couple of pics of pics of someone else and if someone booked her on the strength of them they must be a bit dim and hadn't done any homework.

I realise I probably sound a bit pompous and precious, but those of us who work hard to establish a decent online presence get a bit pissed off with men who can't be arsed to spend 5 minutes reading our websites.

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It only annoys me because I spend time having photos taken (anyone who's tried to book me on a day I am having photos taken will know this), then selecting and uploading them.

Funnily enough the guys who ask if my photos really are of me, well one of two have sometimes admitted they've been lured in by fakes before. Turned up and the girl isn't the one in the photos or is significantly different. So I then give them some advice on reading FRs, visiting a few different sites, general stuff to avoid being scammed or ripped off in future. One of the things I'll often also advise is always speak to the girl on the phone (as recommended here by Smiths and a few other experienced punter, so not just something I prefer). More often than not the guy will say "Oh can't be bothered, not interested in looking at Pnet, anyway reports can be made up, no I need discretion and I don't want a trace on my phone".

You just can't help some people.

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Hi Lydia

is not, in fact, a stupid question. Many punters will tell you that when a bait and switch becomes apparent - the switcher will often attempt to insist that her friend, the one "in the pictures" is ill today or didn't turn up. So much harder to do if you just rang an hour before and asked her :"can I check..."

Whilst I concede that most pass-off operators are unlikely to admit to using fakes when asked - there is a solid chance that the minor stress of having to lie will betray itself - and that we'll hear the hesitation or dodginess in her voice.

Both of which seem excellent reasons, to me, to ask this question, or a subtler variant of it.

You are working in a business with a relatively high rate of misrepresention to its customers. Mindful of the annoyance that you face in dealing with timewasters - surely, as one of the good gals, the onus ought to be on you to understand your prospective customer's anxieties about passing-off?

You could choose not to be insulted when they ask.

Agree... It dont hurt to ask,

Agent or switcher will realize you might check the pics on arrival, and a surprising lot find a lame excuse to cancel, either on phone or on the way out (driver lost, tomtom out, road blocked, period appeared..)

And similar signs of hestiation will occur when the pictures are 10 (ten) year old.

In early career, I had a few of those: lady turns up, is probably the girl from the pics, but is now nearing 60.. Sigh.

And some of the oldies are Excellent lovers still, but some are just plain jaded, especially when they realize you feel a bit cheated.

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Hi Lydia

is not, in fact, a stupid question. Many punters will tell you that when a bait and switch becomes apparent - the switcher will often attempt to insist that her friend, the one "in the pictures" is ill today or didn't turn up. So much harder to do if you just rang an hour before and asked her :"can I check..."

Whilst I concede that most pass-off operators are unlikely to admit to using fakes when asked - there is a solid chance that the minor stress of having to lie will betray itself - and that we'll hear the hesitation or dodginess in her voice.

Both of which seem excellent reasons, to me, to ask this question, or a subtler variant of it.

You are working in a business with a relatively high rate of misrepresention to its customers. Mindful of the annoyance that you face in dealing with timewasters - surely, as one of the good gals, the onus ought to be on you to understand your prospective customer's anxieties about passing-off?

You could choose not to be insulted when they ask.

I do see where you are coming from and of course I am mindful of the anxieties a chap goes through booking and seeing a girl- this site has helped enormously understanding it from a male perspective. I do accept your reasons for asking if you are suspicious.

However, as Sarita summed it up marvelously and pointed out anyone who has looked at my purple site profile and website or done any research on me should be pretty confident it is me in the pics and me you will see if you book. I have candid phone in the mirror shots and have even posted a pic of me in a poncho at a festival recently- noone is going to use those pics as fakes!

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...anyone who has looked at my purple site profile and website or done any research on me should be pretty confident it is me in the pics and me you will see if you book. I have candid phone in the mirror shots and have even posted a pic of me in a poncho at a festival recently- noone is going to use those pics as fakes!

Hi Lydia - with due respect to your and Sarita's marvellous observations - they are guilty of being a wee bit solipcistic. Doing " a bit of research" is a very subjective thing, isn't it? I might do a lot of research but still manage to miss the important warning clues. Of course you know what the punter is going to get, but the point is - they don't - so, on what grounds ought they to feel more confident - simply because you took some candid shots of yourself & one wearing a poncho which nobody else in their right mind would choose to use? Well, what you may think of as being an unflattering portrait may be very useful camouflage to someone else.

Here's the thing: it's not the ones that we have suspicions about that matter so much - we avoid them! - its the ones which don't look suspicious but turn out to be fakes when we have spent an hour travelling that cause us the most annoyance.

So, I reiterate: one of the useful things about being able to ask an apparently stupid or annoying question is to see how the other person handles it.

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