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Helen Jones

Have Any Of The Ladies Had This Request?

21 posts in this topic

Forgive me if I have chosen the wrong forum for my plea but we don't seem to have a 'Potential client/crackpot information' section.

I had a bit of an outlandish request a couple of days ago and it set a little bell ringing in my head. I'm sure Ive heard it before.

A chap Emails asking 'what kind of escort are you as I can't work out if you are a sexual escort or you escort people to places? ' ( despite the subtle signs IE half naked pictures and a disclaimer about all sexual activity- I cant imagine what social occasion he thought a prostitute dressed only in black lingerie would not look a little out of place ) So profuse apologies follow along with an explanation that he needs an escort to accompany him to court where his mentally ill wife is attempting to get full time custody of his children. The email goes on and on about how shes crazy Et Al and he needs me beside him to convince .

Now please don't think me so innocent as to give the plea any more credit than it deserves. ( which is none) Patent bull manure at its most pungent but I was wondering if any other ladies have had this email and what they make of it.

How gullible do these guys think we are?

I blame the Channel 4 documentaries such as 'The Man with an arse for a brain' for the obvious rise in ingenuity of the feeble minded type.

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Care in the community combined with the net has given the nutters a pretty free reign, I'd love to see you turning up to a social event in black lingerie and heels :)

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Care in the community combined with the net has given the nutters a pretty free reign, I'd love to see you turning up to a social event in black lingerie and heels :)

And he most certainly will not get custody of the children :lol:

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And he most certainly will not get custody of the children :lol:

Oh I dont know, at least he would be able to provide a stable income if he managed to keep hold of the witless girl who agrees to and attends lol...I can hear his solicitor now...

"and m'lud, there is proof that because of the recession the plaintiff (is that the right one???) has agreed to allow his missus to negotiate a lower fee for her quickies thus keeping a steady supply of punters to ensure his children clothed and fed"

Edited by Chloe MKEscorts

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Would the courts not want to know who you were name, address and all sorts of personal stuff if they were looking at granting custody of children to anyone? Surely even the UK system is not that dense or am I missing something here?

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Care in the community combined with the net has given the nutters a pretty free reign, I'd love to see you turning up to a social event in black lingerie and heels :)

Definitely right in my view. I would say i now see more obvious mentally ill people than ever and i used to live near 2 mental hospitals where some were out in the community quite a bit. Its a real shame.

As you say the net has given some a new toy to use.

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Would the courts not want to know who you were name, address and all sorts of personal stuff if they were looking at granting custody of children to anyone? Surely even the UK system is not that dense or am I missing something here?

Too right. In a contested custody battle, he will have been assessed either as a singleton (or in his case a simpleton) or as part of a couple. Clearly if it had got as far as the court hearing, it is too late to suddenly introduce a new partner to the assessment, unless it is to ask for a new assessment (which, and I am just guessing here, but I suspect Helen would prefer not to be a part of :D).

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As strange emails go that one merited a score of 5 out of 10

Over the years I have had some corkers..... from the scary to the ridiculous and

each and every one gets put into a file for just such requests and stories etc..

I keep a lot of them in case the sad people contact me again. Also I have them in

case I ever write that book. :ph34r:

They really aren't worth even replying to..... but thank you for the custody battle low downs...

I doubt I shall ever need that info but it may have enlightened one or two folk. ;)

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If she's crazy he doesn't need a pretend partner on his side.

Scary thing is it's probably from someone quite sane, just entertaining themselves.

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As strange emails go that one merited a score of 5 out of 10

Over the years I have had some corkers..... from the scary to the ridiculous and

each and every one gets put into a file for just such requests and stories etc..

I keep a lot of them in case the sad people contact me again. Also I have them in

case I ever write that book. :ph34r:

They really aren't worth even replying to..... but thank you for the custody battle low downs...

I doubt I shall ever need that info but it may have enlightened one or two folk. ;)

Yes I am quoting myself :unsure:

Lo and behold what just pops into my mailbox?

No not the custody man..... but a quirky and very dubious request nonetheless and whether genuine or

not I do wish people would brush up on their spelling. punctuation and grammar if they want

me to take them seriously. :rolleyes:

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Yes I am quoting myself :unsure:

Lo and behold what just pops into my mailbox?

No not the custody man..... but a quirky and very dubious request nonetheless and whether genuine or

not I do wish people would brush up on their spelling. punctuation and grammar if they want

me to take them seriously. :rolleyes:

Well go on then share it!

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Well go on then share it!

No Lydia I won't share it. If it is someone on here tonight reading this board then I

will not indulge them further.

:mellow:

( and although I have a rich and colourful wardrobe and skip full of instruments I do not own the item he has requested ) :)

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Forgive me if I have chosen the wrong forum for my plea but we don't seem to have a 'Potential client/crackpot information' section.

I had a bit of an outlandish request a couple of days ago and it set a little bell ringing in my head. I'm sure Ive heard it before.

A chap Emails asking 'what kind of escort are you as I can't work out if you are a sexual escort or you escort people to places? ' ( despite the subtle signs IE half naked pictures and a disclaimer about all sexual activity- I cant imagine what social occasion he thought a prostitute dressed only in black lingerie would not look a little out of place ) So profuse apologies follow along with an explanation that he needs an escort to accompany him to court where his mentally ill wife is attempting to get full time custody of his children. The email goes on and on about how shes crazy Et Al and he needs me beside him to convince .

Now please don't think me so innocent as to give the plea any more credit than it deserves. ( which is none) Patent bull manure at its most pungent but I was wondering if any other ladies have had this email and what they make of it.

How gullible do these guys think we are?

I blame the Channel 4 documentaries such as 'The Man with an arse for a brain' for the obvious rise in ingenuity of the feeble minded type.

Maybe he has been following you on twitter, where if I may say so , you do come across differently . Just my observation .

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No Lydia I won't share it. If it is someone on here tonight reading this board then I

will not indulge them further.

:mellow:

( and although I have a rich and colourful wardrobe and skip full of instruments I do not own the item he has requested ) :)

Curiouser and curiouser!

But I understand!

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No Lydia I won't share it. If it is someone on here tonight reading this board then I

will not indulge them further.

mellow.png

( and although I have a rich and colourful wardrobe and skip full of instruments I do not own the item he has requested ) smile.png

Tease.

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No Lydia I won't share it. If it is someone on here tonight reading this board then I

will not indulge them further.

:mellow:

( and although I have a rich and colourful wardrobe and skip full of instruments I do not own the item he has requested ) :)

Was he asking if you had a hot air balloon?

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Was he asking if you had a hot air balloon?

No Vic but you are getting warm.

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No Vic but you are getting warm.

A Virgin train perhaps? ;)

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Maybe he has been following you on twitter, where if I may say so , you do come across differently . Just my observation .

LOL Twitter is so difficult. 160 characters simply isnt enough to explain yourse......................

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maybe he is taking the piss!

I dont think so. I think he's probably been dumped by her at one point and now has some sort of injunction against him. More bitter than an Everton supporter on May 25th 05 I think he probably thought she seeing him with a real woman might make her jealous and she'd run int his arms and theyd live happily ever after.

Men! They just dont think things through do they.............

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