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Sarah Summers

Thinking Like A Bloke

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It has been said that working girls have the same or at least a similar attitude to the one men have regarding sex. We can 'pigeon-hole' our punts in the same way we pigeon-hole lots of other things You know what I mean... can't be giving examples here or it would take all day.

This is purely my opinion only so please don't berate me for telling men what they think........... and that's before you start sir :)

Men do not look upon sex in the same way as women do. They do not see punting as something that will ruin a marriage. They punt because they want and need sex for many reasons best known to themselves really and then they go home to their wives and girlfriends and that is that.

It is only when they are so stupid as to leave a paper trail that the shit hits the fan and then they are labelled a cheat, a liar, and the rest...........

Someone kindly sent me a link to a thread on a website where a woman had found out by accident on the computer that her husband was a punter. Lots of other women posting on that thread went and looked and to their shock and horror and utter disgust, found out that their husbands too were members of that site.

Some of them blamed prostitutes for the whole thing. Some people stuck up for prostitutes saying we don't approach the guys, they come looking for us. Some of them said we prostitutes despise our clients and hope their wives find out about their punting. This just shows that nobody really has a clue.

I can punt and have the horniest times with my guys, and then I leave my flat and all that goes on inside of it - behind. I get in my car and drive to the Co-op and pick something up for tea, and watch Coronation Street on the TV .................. My client probably does something very much on the same lines.

...............He leaves evidence of his punting and suddenly his marriage is on the line. She didn't have to find out did she?

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It wasn't freaking mums net again was it?

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I know. It is so sad that we all are so unevolved. That we cant love each other enough to be glad when our friends and lovers find people they like. I love it when guys I know meet nice girls. I feel so happy for them.. I never feel jealousy or any of that. I am just glad they have had a nice time. I asked a nice man today if I could be 'wife number 2'?

He said if his wife ever knew he had anything going on with any other woman, she would kill him.

I dont get it. Honestly. I love them, so if they are having fun with other ladies...I am nohing but happy for them!

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It has been said that working girls have the same or at least a similar attitude to the one men have regarding sex. We can 'pigeon-hole' our punts in the same way we pigeon-hole lots of other things

Possibly it's not that all men think like this, but that it's commoner among men.

Almost by definition men who punt will have this attitude, and so will WGs, unless seriously screwed up.

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There is a side turning here that puzzles me immensely.

Boy marries Girl ! Super! White wedding, followed by girl baby and two years later by boy. The perfect family. Each loves the other three.

Then, perhaps, Husband & Wife stick to each other - sex reduces, as the years pass, and finally fades away, but they still hold hands. Super! But, I think, a minority?

So for the rest, there seems to me to be a choice, and, I admit it, I've taken both routes.

Either Husband has an "affair" with "the other woman", which could be just sex on the sofa, but usually involves pretty deep feelings between the two, leading either to divorce (gravy for the lawyers) or to a very painful parting of the illicit lovers, with the husband returning to the roost, on life probation.

Or the Husband goes punting - perhaps a new girl every time, or perhaps a regular who suits him, or a combination of the two. Either way, although with the regular there may well be a real friendship between the pair, with sincere enquiries after welfare of cats/dogs or children (named) on each visit.

But if Husband is found out, it always seems to be the punter who is a disgusting traitor etc, whereas the guy who has divided his life, heart, and maybe bank balance between wife'n family, and the lover, seems to get away with it.

Why? The relationship with the lover really does endanger everything, whereas an hours' shagging in a lovely WG's flat ends as her door clicks behind him, without the slightest damage to his regard for the mother of his children.

Ladies! Please explain!

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I'll try........

I think it is because to go with a prostitute is sinking so low that he devalues his marriage to the lowest common denominator. That is what I think they think. I think they feel completely and utterly insulted and ruined and awfully hurt when in fact it is the opposite because there are or should be no feelings involved with a prostitute. That's what affairs are - of the heart.. No?

And of course - there is the sex. With a prostitute he is seeking sex. His wife probably thinks he is getting up to all sorts of mucky stuff - which he is :) With another woman, I don't think the sex bit is paramount - it's everything else and the fact that his feelings have shifted from the woman he loves to someone else and that must be hard to bear, but maybe not quite as hard to bear as the thought of dirty filthy sex with a dirty tart.. oh and common too... mustn't forget how common we are.

Interestingly, I have witnessed more than once that when a guy has an affair at work with a colleague, she will be the opposite of his wife in looks, but when his marriage has gone to the wall and he eventually sorts himself out - it will be wife number three who he stays with, and she will be very similar to his wife. Funny eh?

Edited by Sarah Summers

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People like to have sex, men and women - and they like to do it without too high a price-tag in terms of their own sense of guilt or another persons's disapproval. Very repressed people restrict their sexual activity to minimise guilt; less repressed people conform to expectations until they have the opportunity to escape notice. You have to love this system.

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Perrsonally, I think there is a lot more soul searching goes on in men's tiny little brains before going with an escort for the first time than women imagine. But it is a line and once crossed then there is no more soul searching or anguish. Then it is more "might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb" mentality

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There is a side turning here that puzzles me immensely.

Boy marries Girl ! Super! White wedding, followed by girl baby and two years later by boy. The perfect family. Each loves the other three.

Then, perhaps, Husband & Wife stick to each other - sex reduces, as the years pass, and finally fades away, but they still hold hands. Super! But, I think, a minority?

So for the rest, there seems to me to be a choice, and, I admit it, I've taken both routes.

Either Husband has an "affair" with "the other woman", which could be just sex on the sofa, but usually involves pretty deep feelings between the two, leading either to divorce (gravy for the lawyers) or to a very painful parting of the illicit lovers, with the husband returning to the roost, on life probation.

Or the Husband goes punting - perhaps a new girl every time, or perhaps a regular who suits him, or a combination of the two. Either way, although with the regular there may well be a real friendship between the pair, with sincere enquiries after welfare of cats/dogs or children (named) on each visit.

But if Husband is found out, it always seems to be the punter who is a disgusting traitor etc, whereas the guy who has divided his life, heart, and maybe bank balance between wife'n family, and the lover, seems to get away with it.

Why? The relationship with the lover really does endanger everything, whereas an hours' shagging in a lovely WG's flat ends as her door clicks behind him, without the slightest damage to his regard for the mother of his children.

Ladies! Please explain!

In the mind of many a woman, a wg is the lowest of the low, a disease ridden drug addicted skank, and the thought that her husband/bf would 'sink so low' as to 'resort to paid sex with a prostitute' is horrifying, unthinkable and unforgivable.

The common sense, pragmatic and informed logic that you describe would never enter the equation.

Edited by BillGoldberg

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Perrsonally, I think there is a lot more soul searching goes on in men's tiny little brains before going with an escort for the first time than women imagine. But it is a line and once crossed then there is no more soul searching or anguish. Then it is more "might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb" mentality

I do agree but would add that for some the 'soul-searching' never ends but what happens is that it takes a back-seater :P

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I do agree but would add that for some the 'soul-searching' never ends but what happens is that it takes a back-seater :P

From what guys have said I'd say there's several kinds of soul searching going on, firstly of course on the level of is my partner going to find out, then there's the worry "Will this come back to bite me?Are the police going to be coming knocking on my door?Personal safety?and last but not least will she expect me to be some sort of stud?".

I've never considered prostitutes as the lowest of the low but if a partner had sex with someone else without discussing with me first I'd be hurt, upset, and angry whether it be a paid-for encounter or not.

Edited by Strawberry

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I know. It is so sad that we all are so unevolved. That we cant love each other enough to be glad when our friends and lovers find people they like. I love it when guys I know meet nice girls. I feel so happy for them.. I never feel jealousy or any of that. I am just glad they have had a nice time. I asked a nice man today if I could be 'wife number 2'?

He said if his wife ever knew he had anything going on with any other woman, she would kill him.

I dont get it. Honestly. I love them, so if they are having fun with other ladies...I am nohing but happy for them!

I agree, its very sad. As i have found it hard to find a woman i loved who thought like me i have taken the easy option and lied and cheated behind their backs by punting. For me i found having an affair a far more dangerous thing than punting, my world was nearly blown apart which has never happened in nearly 30 years of punting. I know which of the two i will be sticking with.

I can sum my situation up quite easily, one woman isnt enough sexually for me, i want variety, but i dont just want sex, i want to love and be loved as well, so i punt for sex and have a relationship for love, wanting my cake and to eat it.

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i have taken the easy option and lied and cheated by punting. For me i found having an affair a far more dangerous thing than punting, my world was nearly blown apart which has never happened in nearly 30 years of punting. I know which of the two i will be sticking with.

Many years ago, after I had been married for quite a long time, I had an affair with a divorced lady that lasted several months. She had apparently not had a happy sex life with husband because, as she put it, everything happened below the waist and behind. We got on very well together in all departments, not just the sex, and I was quite prepared to leave my family for her. I was even looking at ads for houses. Then she dumped me for another married man. He had more money. He was also the father of her son-in-law. It affected me mentally and physically. I lost nearly two stone in weight. Eventually after several weeks I was forced to tell my wife the truth and discovered that she had worked it out for herself. As she had no control over the outcome she had sat back and hoped that it would end as had actually happened. If it hadn't been for my health I don't know if she would ever have told me.

Time has moved on and my family now contains grandchildren. I have a nice house and many material possessions. I don't want to lose any of it but the biggest consideration is that I don't want to change or lose my relationship with my family particularly my wife. As Smiths has said having an affair is far more dangerous than punting.

i only started punting a few months ago and the affair was over twenty years ago. In between I had been a faithfull husband. I don't punt just for the sex. I have no interest in " bang bang thank you ma'am ". I want both the lady and I to have a good time. I want to escape for a short time into a fantasy land where I can be someone I can't be in normal life. I want to be with an attractive woman who, for that short time, makes me feel like a greater lover than Casanova and makes me believe I'm the only man she wants to be with.

None of us, no matter how young or how old, knows how long we will be around.

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In my case what was a varied and interesting sexier with my partner has sort of fizzled out and to be frank I don't find her as attractive as I once did. Punting ticks all sorts of boxes particularly as one is able to walk away with no feeling that the WG has any emotional attachment ( except maybe that she finds me charming and well natured...)

Working in an office with a wide variety of attractive women it might be easy enough to have relations with someone but

1) they'd have to fancy me in the first place and that is so unlikely for the younger ones

2) the danger of emotional attachment is high

3.) the risk of blackmail is high

4) the opportunities for variety would be minimal

Therefore a punt occasionally keeps me satisfied...

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...

.. oh and common too... mustn't forget how common we are.

Not common enough, in my view, :D

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Bitter rant on its way- sorry but it is Friday. A wife can refuse sex for ages, mess with the husband and all that crap and no one really gives a damn. But when the husband goes elsewhere she erupts like a dog in the manger and all her friends egg her on.

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Many years ago, after I had been married for quite a long time, I had an affair with a divorced lady that lasted several months. She had apparently not had a happy sex life with husband because, as she put it, everything happened below the waist and behind. We got on very well together in all departments, not just the sex, and I was quite prepared to leave my family for her. I was even looking at ads for houses. Then she dumped me for another married man. He had more money. He was also the father of her son-in-law. It affected me mentally and physically. I lost nearly two stone in weight. Eventually after several weeks I was forced to tell my wife the truth and discovered that she had worked it out for herself. As she had no control over the outcome she had sat back and hoped that it would end as had actually happened. If it hadn't been for my health I don't know if she would ever have told me.

Time has moved on and my family now contains grandchildren. I have a nice house and many material possessions. I don't want to lose any of it but the biggest consideration is that I don't want to change or lose my relationship with my family particularly my wife. As Smiths has said having an affair is far more dangerous than punting.

i only started punting a few months ago and the affair was over twenty years ago. In between I had been a faithfull husband. I don't punt just for the sex. I have no interest in " bang bang thank you ma'am ". I want both the lady and I to have a good time. I want to escape for a short time into a fantasy land where I can be someone I can't be in normal life. I want to be with an attractive woman who, for that short time, makes me feel like a greater lover than Casanova and makes me believe I'm the only man she wants to be with.

None of us, no matter how young or how old, knows how long we will be around.

Thank you for telling us that. Your wife sounds like a really nice person. I understand fully your reasons for doing this but urge you to make sure she never finds out x

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Bitter rant on its way- sorry but it is Friday. A wife can refuse sex for ages, mess with the husband and all that crap and no one really gives a damn. But when the husband goes elsewhere she erupts like a dog in the manger and all her friends egg her on.

Yes. I do not blame any man for punting if the sex has dried up at home. Punting and home life are separate though

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Very repressed people restrict their sexual activity to minimise guilt

I'm the opposite, it's probably a lapsed Catholic thing, but I find guilt a bit of an aphrodesiac...'Ohh it's wrong', 'Ohh we shouldn't'....'Ohhhhh....'.

Maybe just me?

I don't think all men think that way (back to O.P)- away from the land of punting there live actual men who would recoil in horror at the thought of shagging a prostitute, or even cheating on their wives/partners. I mean they probably have a hand shandy to the thought of cheating - but never actually do. As sex workers you do tend to come into contact with the men who don't think this way, and you can tend to generalise and say 'all men cheat', but they don't. Just most of the ones that I meet do :P .

I don't see an issue with it - but then I wouldn't, I have loose morals and make a profit.... :ph34r:

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My dad had many affairs marriage to my mum. He also visited many a working gir - infact just before I was born, my mum discovered that he was actually having an affair with a Working Girl, and it carried on after I was born. My dad had just become a London Black Taxi driver at the time, and they would receive £5 per client that they delivered to the ladies (it was a lot of money in them days, which was about 45 years ago), so I guess it was easy for him.

My parents started their relationship when she was 12 years of age, and he was 13. My mum always stayed with him, knowing what she knew. They went on to have two other children, besides me.

My dad took me on a couple of his 'dates'. I never said anything to my mum... I can not answer why. One lady even went as far as to play footsie under the table whilst I sat there with them.

I asked my mum the other day, if she thinks she would have stayed with my dad had it not been for us kids. Her answer was a definate "No".

My dad died in August. Back in February , I asked my dad whether he had any regrets. He said "My only regret is how much I hurt your mum with my messing around with other women".

He also said "I wish I had met her when we were older" he then thought for a moment and said "But then we wouldn't have had all the fun that we did as kids".

After my dad died, my mum said to me "Did I love your dad enough?"

My reply was "Of course you did, after what he put you through, he was lucky you did love him"

I learnt so much from my parents, I realised how men worked, and it affected me in my relationships with men. I also know that I wouldn't have had the strength that my mum had to carry on.

My dads favourite song was 'Me & Mrs Jones'... it was often on the tip of my tongue to ask which lady it made him think about, but I didn't find the courage.

I also question myself sometimes, and wonder, if it hadn't been for my dad, would I have gone into the career that I did.

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My dad had many affairs during his marriage to my mum. He also visited many a working girl - infact just before I was born, my mum discovered that he was actually having an affair with a Working Girl, and it carried on after I was born. My dad had just become a London Black Taxi driver at the time, and they would receive £5 per client that they delivered to the ladies (it was a lot of money in them days, which was about 45 years ago), so I guess it was easy for him.

My parents started their relationship when she was 12 years of age, and he was 13. My mum always stayed with him, knowing what she knew. They went on to have two other children, besides me.

My dad took me on a couple of his 'dates'. I never said anything to my mum... I can not answer why. One lady even went as far as to play footsie under the table whilst I sat there with them.

I asked my mum the other day, if she thinks she would have stayed with my dad had it not been for us kids. Her answer was a definate "No".

My dad died in August. Back in February , I asked my dad whether he had any regrets. He said "My only regret is how much I hurt your mum with my messing around with other women".

He also said "I wish I had met her when we were older" he then thought for a moment and said "But then we wouldn't have had all the fun that we did as kids".

After my dad died, my mum said to me "Did I love your dad enough?"

My reply was "Of course you did, after what he put you through, he was lucky you did love him"

I learnt so much from my parents, I realised how men worked, and it affected me in my relationships with men. I also know that I wouldn't have had the strength that my mum had to carry on.

My dads favourite song was 'Me & Mrs Jones'... it was often on the tip of my tongue to ask which lady it made him think about, but I didn't find the courage.

I also question myself sometimes, and wonder, if it hadn't been for my dad, would I have gone into the career that I did.

SORRY THIS POST WENT ON AGAIN, AS THE FIRST TOOK A COUPLE OF MINUTES TO GO ON, AND I DIDN'T THINK IT WORKED... MY APOLGIES

Edited by LouisaPSUk

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Lost for words... :o ...And something inadvertently or otherwise for us men to think about - as we look to blame others but not ourselves.. Thanks for sharing nonetheless...

And on I go to the off-topic after that very moving post

Edited by Superego

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My dad had many affairs marriage to my mum. He also visited many a working gir - infact just before I was born, my mum discovered that he was actually having an affair with a Working Girl, and it carried on after I was born. My dad had just become a London Black Taxi driver at the time, and they would receive £5 per client that they delivered to the ladies (it was a lot of money in them days, which was about 45 years ago), so I guess it was easy for him.

My parents started their relationship when she was 12 years of age, and he was 13. My mum always stayed with him, knowing what she knew. They went on to have two other children, besides me.

My dad took me on a couple of his 'dates'. I never said anything to my mum... I can not answer why. One lady even went as far as to play footsie under the table whilst I sat there with them.

I asked my mum the other day, if she thinks she would have stayed with my dad had it not been for us kids. Her answer was a definate "No".

My dad died in August. Back in February , I asked my dad whether he had any regrets. He said "My only regret is how much I hurt your mum with my messing around with other women".

He also said "I wish I had met her when we were older" he then thought for a moment and said "But then we wouldn't have had all the fun that we did as kids".

After my dad died, my mum said to me "Did I love your dad enough?"

My reply was "Of course you did, after what he put you through, he was lucky you did love him"

I learnt so much from my parents, I realised how men worked, and it affected me in my relationships with men. I also know that I wouldn't have had the strength that my mum had to carry on.

My dads favourite song was 'Me & Mrs Jones'... it was often on the tip of my tongue to ask which lady it made him think about, but I didn't find the courage.

I also question myself sometimes, and wonder, if it hadn't been for my dad, would I have gone into the career that I did.

I think you are a special person.. beautiful inside and out. You were and still are loved by your parents even though their marriage was flawed. How many folks can say this?

S x x x x

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I'm the opposite, it's probably a lapsed Catholic thing, but I find guilt a bit of an aphrodesiac...'Ohh it's wrong', 'Ohh we shouldn't'....'Ohhhhh....'.

Maybe just me?

I don't think all men think that way (back to O.P)- away from the land of punting there live actual men who would recoil in horror at the thought of shagging a prostitute, or even cheating on their wives/partners. I mean they probably have a hand shandy to the thought of cheating - but never actually do. As sex workers you do tend to come into contact with the men who don't think this way, and you can tend to generalise and say 'all men cheat', but they don't. Just most of the ones that I meet do :P .

I don't see an issue with it - but then I wouldn't, I have loose morals and make a profit.... :ph34r:

I agree, I was only pointing out that men and women think differently and we do not really deep down understand each other. That is what makes us all such an attractive prospect to the opposite sex.

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Louisa....i just want to give you a very big hug!! That was a very personal story to share. Whatever impact your parents lifestyles may have had on your life, you always come across as a sincere, caring and thoroughly charming and beautiful human being. Much respect and admiration to you. Many people go off the rails when faced with such a situation. You are one very strong woman. xx

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