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Doozer

Should This Bother Me?

34 posts in this topic

I'd appreciate others opinions on this.

Had a date booked with a lady for last Sunday which had been booked well in advance (3 weeks or so). I made contact on Saturday to finalise arrangements etc and she tells me she's been ill and would like to cancel Sunday which is fair enough, these things happen and we rearranged the date no problem. Today I see she's had a review for a booking on Sunday when she cancelled me.

Am I right to feel a bit pissed off about this or just forget it and leave things as they are for the rearranged date?

The thing is the lady's well established and well reviewed and has built a good reputation in this business and obviously doesn't make a habit of this so I'm just curious as to why she left it so late to cancel then accepted a booking anyway.

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Errrr, let me think... She got a better offer?

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Errrr, let me think... She got a better offer?

So it seems, but if I were to name the lady in question (which I won't) most on here would think there's no way she'd do that with the reputation she has.

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Depending on what the review you saw consisted in and where it was, the Sunday date may refer to the day it was posted rather than the day of the meet. Feedback on the purple site, for example, is dated by time and day of posting not of the meeting, though FRs on that site do specify date of meeting.

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Am I right to feel a bit pissed off about this or just forget it and leave things as they are for the rearranged date?

if the reason given was illness but it was actually an alternative booking, i think yes I would be a bit narked. i would probably feel like cancelling the re-arranged date too, I don't offer people considerable portions of my salary in order for them to then treat it with disdain. i say 'feel like', not sure i actually would cancel.

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So it seems, but if I were to name the lady in question (which I won't) most on here would think there's no way she'd do that with the reputation she has.

By not naming her you're allowing her to maintain a reputation that she maybe doesn't deserve.

Think Lance Armstrong, or even (gasp!) Jimmy Savile.

Now I'm not for one moment suggesting that being stood up by a working girl is even remotely comparable to those examples, but the principle is the same.

Just bear in mind though that Purple site feedback (not Purple Site FRs) show the date and time you write them, not the time of the booking. I've given and received feedback for bookings that were completed weeks prior to the report date.

Edited by Tibbs

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Yes, before you get mad you do have to consider the date of the review may not be the actual day the meeting took place.

maybe she double booked and the other guy made the booking first and she thought a white lie about being poorly was better than letting on she had screwed up. It's up to you how principled you feel about whether you see her again.

Or you could message and say you feel a little hurt because she had a booking when she cancelled you and see what you get back?

If you do see her make sure you're not harbouring any resentment because it may result in a less than good time.

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I'd appreciate others opinions on this.

Had a date booked with a lady for last Sunday which had been booked well in advance (3 weeks or so). I made contact on Saturday to finalise arrangements etc and she tells me she's been ill and would like to cancel Sunday which is fair enough, these things happen and we rearranged the date no problem. Today I see she's had a review for a booking on Sunday when she cancelled me.

Am I right to feel a bit pissed off about this or just forget it and leave things as they are for the rearranged date?

The thing is the lady's well established and well reviewed and has built a good reputation in this business and obviously doesn't make a habit of this so I'm just curious as to why she left it so late to cancel then accepted a booking anyway.

Assuming the punt was held on the Sunday and it says this in the FR i imagine you were bumped for a regular of the WGs who she knew would definitely turn-up whereas with you being a newbie to her she might think you might or might not have turned-up. Or a punter rang wanting a longer booking than yours and she took that as it was more money.

At least she let you know she was cancelling you, thats not always the case. If you rate her enough and still wish to see her go for it is my advice, i certainly wouldnt say this if she hadnt let you know she was cancelling you though.

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if the reason given was illness but it was actually an alternative booking, i think yes I would be a bit narked. i would probably feel like cancelling the re-arranged date too, I don't offer people considerable portions of my salary in order for them to then treat it with disdain. i say 'feel like', not sure i actually would cancel.

Yes my initial reaction to cancel or even let her know I've seen the review but my initial reactions have got me in bad situations in the past.

By not naming her you're allowing her to maintain a reputation that she maybe doesn't deserve.

Think Lance Armstrong, or even (gasp!) Jimmy Savile.

Now I'm not for one moment suggesting that being stood up by a working girl is even remotely comparable to those examples, but the principle is the same.

Just bear in mind though that Purple site feedback (not Purple Site FRs) show the date and time you write them, not the time of the booking. I've given and received feedback for bookings that were completed weeks prior to the report date.

I see your point and I really doubt this would have any impact on her reputation as she has one of the best in the business. The FR gives the meet date which was Sunday.

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At least you had 24 hours to consider whether to make an alternative booking. I would follow the advice about sending her an e-mail to say how you feel about being bumped, and see what sort of response you get. My bet is that she took a long appointment from a regular in place of a short date with a newbie. In that case perhaps a white lie was not so bad.

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Yes, before you get mad you do have to consider the date of the review may not be the actual day the meeting took place.

maybe she double booked and the other guy made the booking first and she thought a white lie about being poorly was better than letting on she had screwed up. It's up to you how principled you feel about whether you see her again.

Or you could message and say you feel a little hurt because she had a booking when she cancelled you and see what you get back?

If you do see her make sure you're not harbouring any resentment because it may result in a less than good time.

If she double booked I would almost guarantee that I was the first booking or else she had 3 weeks plus that she could've let me know.

Assuming the punt was held on the Sunday and it says this in the FR i imagine you were bumped for a regular of the WGs who she knew would definitely turn-up whereas with you being a newbie to her she might think you might or might not have turned-up. Or a punter rang wanting a longer booking than yours and she took that as it was more money.

At least she let you know she was cancelling you, thats not always the case. If you rate her enough and still wish to see her go for it is my advice, i certainly wouldnt say this if she hadnt let you know she was cancelling you though.

My booking would've been longer and from what I can tell the other guy was a newbie to her too. I do appreciate that she let me know and we had plenty of positive contact leading up to it.

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At least you had 24 hours to consider whether to make an alternative booking. I would follow the advice about sending her an e-mail to say how you feel about being bumped, and see what sort of response you get. My bet is that she took a long appointment from a regular in place of a short date with a newbie. In that case perhaps a white lie was not so bad.

Yeah, I'm going to take the advice and contact her and see what I get back.

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The ways of woman are strange.

It could be any of the above. Or even a migraine attack that came in but left early leaveing her with a free spot. I doubt whatever you do, you'll not get to the bottom of the matter. I would suggest you chalk it down to the vagrancies of punting and go for the rearranged appointment with anticipation.

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If she double booked I would almost guarantee that I was the first booking or else she had 3 weeks plus that she could've let me know.

My booking would've been longer and from what I can tell the other guy was a newbie to her too. I do appreciate that she let me know and we had plenty of positive contact leading up to it.

Thats more puzzling to me if you know this as fact. Definitely ask for an explanation politely then as to why she cancelled you but punted with this other newbie to her.

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I agree with Smiths, just ask her. There maybe a genuine explanation and its got to be better than getting miffed or wound up thinking you'd been bumped for some reason.

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Thats more puzzling to me if you know this as fact. Definitely ask for an explanation politely then as to why she cancelled you but punted with this other newbie to her.

I can't be sure he's a newbie, just reading between the line in the FR. The rest I'm sure of.

I started to write an email to her but whatever I write makes me come across as confrontational (well to me at least). I think is it really any of my business and would I get an honest answer anyway. I'll just cancel in the next couple of days or let it go and meet as we've rearranged.

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I can't be sure he's a newbie, just reading between the line in the FR. The rest I'm sure of.

I started to write an email to her but whatever I write makes me come across as confrontational (well to me at least). I think is it really any of my business and would I get an honest answer anyway. I'll just cancel in the next couple of days or let it go and meet as we've rearranged.

Good luck whatever you decide. :)

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Yeah, I'm going to take the advice and contact her and see what I get back.

Good idea.

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I have at odd times cancelled meetings due to unforeseen circumstance coming up like illness etc.

I have then had a new feedback come up on that date from someone else.

The thing is there were just feedbacks given late and not for that actual day.

Only a couple of times have I been challenged by a gentleman seeing the new feedbacks and jumping to the wrong conclusion.

Lucy :)

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I can't be sure he's a newbie, just reading between the line in the FR. The rest I'm sure of.

I started to write an email to her but whatever I write makes me come across as confrontational (well to me at least). I think is it really any of my business and would I get an honest answer anyway. I'll just cancel in the next couple of days or let it go and meet as we've rearranged.

It is confrontational because essentially you are accusing her of lying about being sick by asking the question. As you have said.... what exactly are you expecting to get from her e-mail? An explanation?, What difference will it make? If she punted with someone else and fobbed you off as you suspect do you think she will tell you the truth? - fat chance. If you already think she lied about being ill its unlikely she will be truthful in her email.

If you want to see her then don't bother with the email, it will just make it awkward when you meet. If you booked three weeks and had no contact with her till the day before she probably just forgot about your booking and when you confirmed the day before she had to make an excuse of being sick because she was already fully booked up, in any case I don't think your e-mail will help anything but it is likely to make it awkward if you want to meet her.

Edited by willsmith

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I'd appreciate others opinions on this.

Had a date booked with a lady for last Sunday which had been booked well in advance (3 weeks or so). I made contact on Saturday to finalise arrangements etc and she tells me she's been ill and would like to cancel Sunday which is fair enough, these things happen and we rearranged the date no problem. Today I see she's had a review for a booking on Sunday when she cancelled me.

Am I right to feel a bit pissed off about this or just forget it and leave things as they are for the rearranged date?

The thing is the lady's well established and well reviewed and has built a good reputation in this business and obviously doesn't make a habit of this so I'm just curious as to why she left it so late to cancel then accepted a booking anyway.

Sometimes the dates are loosely based. I would not read too much into it. I have had reviews which are dated but are not the actual date I saw the guy.

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I think you need to get it off your chest, so you can go to the booking and enjoy it properly. Be honest, and tell her that you saw the FR and was there a reason why she didn't let you know she felt better?

She then has the right to reply and hopefully can iron things out. It may be as Lucy says that someone put in a report after the event, for one reason or another. Some men prefer to change the real date so they have an alibi for where they were at the time given. It's a shady old world we live in, but give her the chance to show she did nothing wrong at least.

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Oh gosh I have agreed when reading various of these replies and then realised they contradicted each other so I cannot offer very helpful advice or as good as some above.

I guess it depends on what you want to come out of it. If you want still to see her I guess you keep quiet and book again.

I did that with someone who was a bit critical of me and I saw her then mentioned it after we had had a good time and we parted good chums.

If you want your sense of injustice assuaged then contact her and perhaps just say you feel confused and would appreciate an account of what happened.And that you were so looking forward to seeing her.

nothing can guarantee you will get an honest answer though the reputation you refer to may mean she is happy to tell the truth and be apologetic or brazen it out as she sees fit but you will still not know what the truth is unless you feel honesty does shine through to your satisfaction.

I think i have more often than not (just?) made the wrong choice in your sort of situation in this or the real world.

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I can't be sure he's a newbie, just reading between the line in the FR. The rest I'm sure of.

I started to write an email to her but whatever I write makes me come across as confrontational (well to me at least). I think is it really any of my business and would I get an honest answer anyway. I'll just cancel in the next couple of days or let it go and meet as we've rearranged.

Doozer I hope that you will come back eventually and let us know what you did, and her response. You do not need to identify the lady, unless you wish to, but after a good few of us have given you advice I think we would all like to know the outcome.

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I'd ask her. Otherwise, you'll constantly have it at the back of your mind whilst with her and you'll be spending too much money for that to be happening. It doesn't have to be confrontational. Something along the lines of "Hi, I see you have a new FR up, however I am a bit puzzled because it's dated for the day we cancelled because you were ill. Did the guy get his date wrong on his FR or was there something about me that meant you didn't want to see me in particular? Just interested, as I appreciate knowing where I stand. Thanks in anticipation"

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