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Holly Maddison

Getting In A Pickle On A Punt...

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I was reminded this morning of a bit of a embarrassing situation with a client and wondered if anyone else here had found themselves in a daft/funny situation and not known what to do.

Mine was a client seemed to be taking forever in the shower before we got going so I went to see if he was ok. I found him stood there stark naked with his hands over his tackle hopping from side to side and me, being me, had to say 'what up pet has it dropped off?' 'No he shouts I almost wish it had'. What he'd done was pull his forskin back to wash and got it stuck, so I tried Vaseline, soap ect but couldn't budge it, in fact I was making the situation far worse, my warped sense of humour didn't help much either come to think of it.

It soon became obvious that a visit to A&E was the only way, so I offered to run him up there, he sheepishly agreed, on condition I went to the desk and told them what he'd done, which I duly did, leaving him facing the wall in a very busy A&E dept trying to hide the now rather large bulge in his trousers.

The girl behind the desk although obviously amused was sympathetic enough to take us straight to a cubicle and we didn't have to wait long before a rather young doctor came in, followed by an even younger nurse. 'Let me see then she says'. I thought he was going to faint at this point and he flatly refused to drop his trousers and show them. By now the time was getting on and I had another client so I stepped out and thought, leave them to it while I rang my next client and put him off. I could hear the doctor arguing with him so after the call went back in and tried to coax him into showing them, but to no avail. After a few minutes of this I got a little cross and made to pull the flaming zip down myself (he was behaving like a little boy by then but in obvious pain so it really needed seeing to) only to have him say very loudly.... 'For goodness sake Holly, get your hands off my c**k thats what got me in this mess in the first place!'

I felt really bad because everyone in the dept could hear him and started to laugh and by then I was starting to giggle and unfortunately once that happens I can't stop. It got worse because when we eventually got him to show them, it was extremely swollen, deep purple and looked dreadfully sore. The doctor said she would have to freeze and snip the forskin so he would have to hold it, but he wouldn't, nor would he let the nurse touch it, so then I hear him say.. 'Ok Holly you get you wish, just don't squeeze it'. More laughs from outside and by this time I had tears streaming down my face.

Anyway they did eventually manage to freeze the forskin and snip and release it, which was obviously a relief for him, they made him a follow up appointment (good job he was pretty local) to see a specialist and we left. I drove him back to my place because he'd left his car there and made him a coffee, but he was very quiet, so I sat next to him apologising for laughing, thinking I'd upset him doing that, only to have him say.. 'what on earth am I going to tell the wife?'

It was so hard to keep a straight face at that point, but I had to, because from his side it really wasn't funny and it was hardly surprising that I didn't see him again for several months, by which time he'd had the offending bit of skin removed and quite happily laughed about it with me. I never did ask him what he'd told the wife. Until this morning that is, when he popped up telling this tale on another forum.

He'd told his wife almost the same story I've just told you, but changed it to getting the forskin stuck in the toilet at work and being taken to A&E by his boss. His wife like me found the whole situation hysterical and later at a works do decided to rib his boss about finding himself in such an embarrassing position with an employee, luckily the boss was quick thinking and did cover for him, but then he had to come clean to the boss as well afterwards.

I'm sure he'll read this and won't mind me sharing it as a possible warning to those guys with tight forskins, do not pull them back in the shower pre-punt, and if you do, be advised that getting a girl to try and release it with Vaseline does not work.

I think that has to be the sillyest situation any of my clients ever got into (except for the guy that broke his nose on the headboard at a party once but thats another story).

Have any of you ever found yourself in weird situations like this or is it just me that seems to find myself in these wierd situations?

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brilliant story well-told, you just made my afternoon Holly thank you.

i have nothing to add that even remotely compares, I am afraid.

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I was reminded this morning of a bit of a embarrassing situation with a client and wondered if anyone else here had found themselves in a daft/funny situation and not known what to do.

Mine was a client seemed to be taking forever in the shower before we got going so I went to see if he was ok. I found him stood there stark naked with his hands over his tackle hopping from side to side and me, being me, had to say 'what up pet has it dropped off?' 'No he shouts I almost wish it had'. What he'd done was pull his forskin back to wash and got it stuck, so I tried Vaseline, soap ect but couldn't budge it, in fact I was making the situation far worse, my warped sense of humour didn't help much either come to think of it.

It soon became obvious that a visit to A&E was the only way, so I offered to run him up there, he sheepishly agreed, on condition I went to the desk and told them what he'd done, which I duly did, leaving him facing the wall in a very busy A&E dept trying to hide the now rather large bulge in his trousers.

The girl behind the desk although obviously amused was sympathetic enough to take us straight to a cubicle and we didn't have to wait long before a rather young doctor came in, followed by an even younger nurse. 'Let me see then she says'. I thought he was going to faint at this point and he flatly refused to drop his trousers and show them. By now the time was getting on and I had another client so I stepped out and thought, leave them to it while I rang my next client and put him off. I could hear the doctor arguing with him so after the call went back in and tried to coax him into showing them, but to no avail. After a few minutes of this I got a little cross and made to pull the flaming zip down myself (he was behaving like a little boy by then but in obvious pain so it really needed seeing to) only to have him say very loudly.... 'For goodness sake Holly, get your hands off my c**k thats what got me in this mess in the first place!'

I felt really bad because everyone in the dept could hear him and started to laugh and by then I was starting to giggle and unfortunately once that happens I can't stop. It got worse because when we eventually got him to show them, it was extremely swollen, deep purple and looked dreadfully sore. The doctor said she would have to freeze and snip the forskin so he would have to hold it, but he wouldn't, nor would he let the nurse touch it, so then I hear him say.. 'Ok Holly you get you wish, just don't squeeze it'. More laughs from outside and by this time I had tears streaming down my face.

Anyway they did eventually manage to freeze the forskin and snip and release it, which was obviously a relief for him, they made him a follow up appointment (good job he was pretty local) to see a specialist and we left. I drove him back to my place because he'd left his car there and made him a coffee, but he was very quiet, so I sat next to him apologising for laughing, thinking I'd upset him doing that, only to have him say.. 'what on earth am I going to tell the wife?'

It was so hard to keep a straight face at that point, but I had to, because from his side it really wasn't funny and it was hardly surprising that I didn't see him again for several months, by which time he'd had the offending bit of skin removed and quite happily laughed about it with me. I never did ask him what he'd told the wife. Until this morning that is, when he popped up telling this tale on another forum.

He'd told his wife almost the same story I've just told you, but changed it to getting the forskin stuck in the toilet at work and being taken to A&E by his boss. His wife like me found the whole situation hysterical and later at a works do decided to rib his boss about finding himself in such an embarrassing position with an employee, luckily the boss was quick thinking and did cover for him, but then he had to come clean to the boss as well afterwards.

I'm sure he'll read this and won't mind me sharing it as a possible warning to those guys with tight forskins, do not pull them back in the shower pre-punt, and if you do, be advised that getting a girl to try and release it with Vaseline does not work.

I think that has to be the sillyest situation any of my clients ever got into (except for the guy that broke his nose on the headboard at a party once but thats another story).

Have any of you ever found yourself in weird situations like this or is it just me that seems to find myself in these wierd situations?

An interesting account. Nothing so interesting but i was offered Durex Play Tingle lube by a WG and as soon as it was applied the most appallling burning sensation started, it was agony, i got to the shower and put lots of cold water on my cock which helped after a while. Since then i take my own lube, usually Maximus or Pjur.

Through not using enough lube i got a friction burn on my cock in the last hour of a 4 hour party, i was unable to continue put some cream on it that was offered and had to sit it out, a right bummer.

I was at a Bukkake event and a guy with a bad aim spunked over my arm, he didnt apologize though, one of the WGs did, i hastily had a shower and left before i lost my rag with the twat. :eek: :eek:

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I was reminded this morning of a bit of a embarrassing situation with a client and wondered if anyone else here had found themselves in a daft/funny situation and not known what to do.

Mine was a client seemed to be taking forever in the shower before we got going so I went to see if he was ok. I found him stood there stark naked with his hands over his tackle hopping from side to side and me, being me, had to say 'what up pet has it dropped off?' 'No he shouts I almost wish it had'. What he'd done was pull his forskin back to wash and got it stuck, so I tried Vaseline, soap ect but couldn't budge it, in fact I was making the situation far worse, my warped sense of humour didn't help much either come to think of it.

It soon became obvious that a visit to A&E was the only way, so I offered to run him up there, he sheepishly agreed, on condition I went to the desk and told them what he'd done, which I duly did, leaving him facing the wall in a very busy A&E dept trying to hide the now rather large bulge in his trousers.

The girl behind the desk although obviously amused was sympathetic enough to take us straight to a cubicle and we didn't have to wait long before a rather young doctor came in, followed by an even younger nurse. 'Let me see then she says'. I thought he was going to faint at this point and he flatly refused to drop his trousers and show them. By now the time was getting on and I had another client so I stepped out and thought, leave them to it while I rang my next client and put him off. I could hear the doctor arguing with him so after the call went back in and tried to coax him into showing them, but to no avail. After a few minutes of this I got a little cross and made to pull the flaming zip down myself (he was behaving like a little boy by then but in obvious pain so it really needed seeing to) only to have him say very loudly.... 'For goodness sake Holly, get your hands off my c**k thats what got me in this mess in the first place!'

I felt really bad because everyone in the dept could hear him and started to laugh and by then I was starting to giggle and unfortunately once that happens I can't stop. It got worse because when we eventually got him to show them, it was extremely swollen, deep purple and looked dreadfully sore. The doctor said she would have to freeze and snip the forskin so he would have to hold it, but he wouldn't, nor would he let the nurse touch it, so then I hear him say.. 'Ok Holly you get you wish, just don't squeeze it'. More laughs from outside and by this time I had tears streaming down my face.

Anyway they did eventually manage to freeze the forskin and snip and release it, which was obviously a relief for him, they made him a follow up appointment (good job he was pretty local) to see a specialist and we left. I drove him back to my place because he'd left his car there and made him a coffee, but he was very quiet, so I sat next to him apologising for laughing, thinking I'd upset him doing that, only to have him say.. 'what on earth am I going to tell the wife?'

It was so hard to keep a straight face at that point, but I had to, because from his side it really wasn't funny and it was hardly surprising that I didn't see him again for several months, by which time he'd had the offending bit of skin removed and quite happily laughed about it with me. I never did ask him what he'd told the wife. Until this morning that is, when he popped up telling this tale on another forum.

He'd told his wife almost the same story I've just told you, but changed it to getting the forskin stuck in the toilet at work and being taken to A&E by his boss. His wife like me found the whole situation hysterical and later at a works do decided to rib his boss about finding himself in such an embarrassing position with an employee, luckily the boss was quick thinking and did cover for him, but then he had to come clean to the boss as well afterwards.

I'm sure he'll read this and won't mind me sharing it as a possible warning to those guys with tight forskins, do not pull them back in the shower pre-punt, and if you do, be advised that getting a girl to try and release it with Vaseline does not work.

I think that has to be the sillyest situation any of my clients ever got into (except for the guy that broke his nose on the headboard at a party once but thats another story).

Have any of you ever found yourself in weird situations like this or is it just me that seems to find myself in these wierd situations?

Brilliant as ever Holly, you should really consider writing that book about a WG's life and all the fun and games you've had and heard, would beat 50 shades of grey I reckon (an dyes, I would buy it!!)

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It's a good job that Holly has retired. A punt with her should carry a Government Health Warning! :P

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It's a good job that Holly has retired. A punt with her should carry a Government Health Warning! :P

They could certainly be unforgetable at times Paul. Smiths do you remember those little mint flavoured blue tab things that melt in your mouth (supposed to be breath fresheners), you seriously do not want a girl clamping her mouth round your member after putting one of those in her mouth if you find Durex Tingle uncomfortable, its a lot worse. I always used to get friction burns between my tits at parties so sympathise with you there..

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I found him stood there stark naked with his hands over his tackle hopping from side to side and me, being me, had to say 'what up pet has it dropped off?' (in a Barbara Windsor cockney accent voice)

.... 'For goodness sake Holly, get your hands off my c**k thats what got me in this mess in the first place!' (in a Sid James disapproving voice)

And there was I not going to read this story because I felt it would Carry On too long.

Little did I realise it would turn out to be a wonderful anecdote and a right 'Carry On Doctor'

Ooooh Matron :P (in a Kenneth William tone)

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They could certainly be unforgetable at times Paul. Smiths do you remember those little mint flavoured blue tab things that melt in your mouth (supposed to be breath fresheners), you seriously do not want a girl clamping her mouth round your member after putting one of those in her mouth if you find Durex Tingle uncomfortable, its a lot worse. I always used to get friction burns between my tits at parties so sympathise with you there..

Yes i am definitely averse to Menthol/Mint on my member. :eek::D

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Great story Holly. It's amazing though that the guy got to this stage in his life without it ever happening before. You must have REALLY turned him on.

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I haven't even got a willy and I'm thinking OUCH!

Fab story though!

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I had thought this might be about picalilli and sploshing!!

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Thanks Holly - today I am so glad I am circumcised!

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Great story Holly. It's amazing though that the guy got to this stage in his life without it ever happening before. You must have REALLY turned him on.

I think its more likely that he had never tried to wash under the forskin before. I did make a bit of a thing about that in my advertising.

So anyone else got any crazy stuff they got up to?

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"You're probably wondering why we call it a 'pickle'."

- Frank Zappa (from "Titties And Beer")

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.... I found him stood there stark naked with his hands over his tackle hopping from side to side and me, being me, had to say 'what up pet has it dropped off?'

Hi Holly, I thought you hailed from the USA not Newcastle :)

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Hi Holly, I thought you hailed from the USA not Newcastle :)

You know what I'm never sure what terms to use when talking to you guys, instinctively I normally say Honey but have been slated for that (seems guys don't like it). Love is another I use a lot but have had boyfriends get funny about me calling everyone love. I actually hail from Spain but American born so often use Mi preciosa or Mi Hombre Hermoso. I use the phrase Mi Chiquita or Mi Chiquito a lot at home, but don't think that would go down very well on a booking, can hardly call a client my little one can I? Terms of enderment used on a punt, now theres a whole new thread methinks.

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You know what I'm never sure what terms to use when talking to you guys, instinctively I normally say Honey but have been slated for that (seems guys don't like it). Love is another I use a lot but have had boyfriends get funny about me calling everyone love. I actually hail from Spain but American born so often use Mi preciosa or Mi Hombre Hermoso. I use the phrase Mi Chiquita or Mi Chiquito a lot at home, but don't think that would go down very well on a booking, can hardly call a client my little one can I? Terms of enderment used on a punt, now theres a whole new thread methinks.

Holly, please do start that thread! I find the nickname thing fiddly as well. I use "darling" on my website/in writing, which in my American accent in my mind is more "darlin," dropping the 'g.' But that doesn't feel right in person--it seems entirely too intimate. I don't think I could pull off pet (not being British), "babe" and "love" are for boyfriends... what's a girl to do!?

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